“Hey, Cas.”

Castiel ignores that.

“Hey, Cassie!”

Castiel ignores that, too.

“Cassie, wake up!”

Castiel just groans. It’s too early for this.

“Cas, get your ass up! It’s Christmas and we wanna do Christmas things!”

Charlie alone would never be able to get him up, but the mention of other people is enough to motivate him. He doesn’t mind annoying his friend, but he doesn’t want to hinder the Christmas celebration for anyone else. He reluctantly sits up to find a few people already in the living room -- Charlie (obviously), Sam, Jess, and Ash -- but definitely not the whole party. She really woke him up for this?

“Oh, cool, that worked!” Charlie says with a grin, and Castiel has the feeling no one actually wanted him to wake up. “Okay, before we do Christmas stuff, I’m stealing you for a sec.”

Castiel groans and lies back down on the couch. If he doesn’t have to get up, he’s not getting up. It’s as simple as that.

"C'mon, wake up!" Charlie whines. "You can't just sleep in the middle of the living room on Christmas morning. That's, like, a class one felony."

Without opening his eyes, Castiel says, "Guess I'm going to jail, then."

"Wake up!" Charlie insists. "Please? I am literally begging you."

Castiel sighs. "What time is it?"

"Almost 7:30."

Castiel scoffs. "Oh, god, no. I'm going back to sleep."

"And what happens when everyone else inevitably wakes up in a minute because it's Christmas and it's impossible for anyone but you to sleep in on Christmas?" Charlie asks.

"Dean only went to bed, like, six hours ago," Castiel says. "I don't know about anyone else, but I don't think he is gonna wake up soon so I'm fine."

"How do you know when he went to bed?" Charlie asks, and Castiel wants to slap that suggestive tone out of her voice (but that would involve getting up and he's not going to do that).

"Because we stayed up to watch Die Hard," Castiel reminds her.

"Oh," Charlie says. "Okay, that's fair. But I wanna talk to you."

"We can talk later," he says. "For now, I just want to sleep."

"But —"

"Let me sleep or I'll slap you."

Charlie groans. "Fine, be that way."

And she does let him sleep… for about 10 seconds.

"Oh, hi, Dean! Hi, Jo!"

Castiel doesn't dignify that with a response. If she thinks lying about Dean and Jo is going to convince him to wake up, she is sorely mistaken.

But then Jo says, "Merry Christmas!" and Castiel comes to the unfortunate realization that she probably wasn't lying after all.

"Is Dean really up?" Sam asks, which makes Castiel think that maybe Charlie was lying. It's getting really hard to figure this out with good eyes closed, and if he cared any more, he'd probably get up.

"Yeah, he's making coffee," Jo says, and he's back to believing Charlie was telling the truth. "Guess he had a late night."

"So I heard," Sam says. "Cas, if you're awake, thank you for taking the bullet for us and watching Die Hard with him."

Castiel chuckles, and still without opening his eyes, says, "Any time."

"Oh, you're awake!" Jo says, sounding way too happy for his comfort. "Merry Christmas, Cas!"

"Merry Christmas."

Charlie nudges Castiel's arm. "Now you have to wake up."

"No." 

Jo laughs. "Come on, Cas, it's Christmas! You can't sleep through Christmas!"

"Christmas doesn't start for another 90 minutes," Castiel says.  He'll still be tired in 90 minutes, but hopefully less so.

"Or," Dean calls from the kitchen, "you could wake up and drink a gallon of coffee with me."

Castiel sighs. Well, if Dean can do it, so can he. He forces himself to sit up once again, this time accompanied by Charlie's overly-enthusiastic clapping. If he were any more awake, he'd tell her to shut up, but it's too early for that.

"Woah, did I do it?" Dean asks, obviously tipped off by the clapping. "I didn't actually think that would work. My power is unmatched."

"If you walk in here and don't hand me a cup of coffee, I'm going back to sleep," Castiel tells him.

"Okay, I can deal with being a waitress, but only because I'm still the most powerful person in this house," Dean says.

Charlie sits down on the couch by Castiel's side. "Hey, Cassie."

"Hey." The word is interrupted by a yawn, and  he lazily covers his mouth.

"How ya doin'?" Charlie asks.

"Peachy," Castiel deadpans.

"Oh, cheer up, Cas!" Jo says. "It's Christmas!"

Castiel fakes a smile, but he's too tired to even try to make it convincing. "Hurray."

"You sound just like Dean," Jo tells him.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Castiel says.

"As you should," Dean says, stepping into the living room with two cups of coffee. "I come bearing gifts."

"That you do," Castiel replies.

Dean hands him one of the cups, and Castiel takes a sip. It doesn't help with his exhaustion, but it does taste good.

Now that Dean and Jo are both up, everyone decides to get in on the conversation, which means Castiel tries his best to stay out of it. He doesn't really like group conversations. They're too hard for someone as introverted as he is to stay involved in.

Fortunately for him, he gets a text, and it's the perfect excuse to butt out. He grabs his phone from where it's been charging on the floor and checks the lock screen, only t o be greeted by Charlie's name. He wishes he could say he was surprised, but he'd almost expected it. This is a very Charlie thing to do.

Charlie: So?

Castiel: So?

Charlie: You and Dean seem real comfy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Castiel: Trust me, you are not ready to hear what happened yesterday.

Castiel: I'm going to tell you anyway, but you're not ready for it.

Charlie: Tell. Me. Everything.

Castiel gets very close to actually doing that. He usually does tell her everything, including things he's sworn to secrecy about. That's what having a best friend is all about, right? But, in this particular instance, he decides to leave a little bit out. The fact that he caught Dean jerking off to Karla still gives him major secondhand embarrassment, even if it ended well.

Castiel: Remember when I went to tell him that the ziti was done?

Charlie: Ooooh I *knew* that was when it happened!

Castiel: And you were right (both about the fact that it happened then and when you told me I should come out to him). He said he'd been thinking about it and he didn't think he was straight, and then he gave me a bj.

Castiel knows exactly when she finishes reading because she whips her head around to stare at him. He gives her a self-satisfied smile, and immediately, Charlie is back on her phone, furiously typing out her reply.

Charlie: Holy shit

Charlie: Holy FUCKING shit

Charlie: You're serious?

Charlie: You're not just messing with me bc you're mad that I woke you up early?

Charlie: Or because I annoy you about him all the time?

Charlie: This literally happened?

Charlie: If you're joking you need to tell me now because I am trying SO FREAKING HARD not to show that I'm freaking out right now

Castiel is generally a very nice, courteous person. He would never try to fan a fire by telling someone who's already freaking out that there's more to freak out about.

Unless, of course, that someone is Charlie.

Castiel: I guess I shouldn't tell you what was going on under the blanket while we were watching It's A Wonderful Life, then.

Charlie once again has to take a break from her phone to stare at him. It takes all his self-control not to laugh. If there's an opposite to hitting someone while they're down, he's just done it, and he doesn't regret it for a moment.

Charlie: I can't believe it

Charlie: No

Charlie: I DON'T believe it

Charlie: This is a joke

Charlie: This has to be a joke

Charlie: There is no way anyone's dick was being touched right in front of all of us last night

Charlie: Because I can't imagine you meant anything else

Charlie: And there is no way you're stupid enough or subtle enough to do that when we were all right there

Castiel: In response to the "stupid" thing, apparently there are three things that make me very stupid: alcohol, sleep deprivation, and Dean. In response to the "subtle" thing, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm an actor.

Charlie: And you're not using those actor skills to trick me into thinking this is for real?

Castiel: Nope, if I was just messing with you, I would have given it up when you asked.

Charlie: Holy shiiiiit

Charlie: I never actually thought this was gonna work

Charlie: Like I know I kept saying you should pray for the gay w Dean but I wasn't actually expecting him to be gay

Charlie: Bi?

Charlie: Pan?

Charlie: Whatever tf he is

Charlie: So are you guys together?

Charlie: Like, for realz?

Charlie: It wasn't a one time thing?

Charlie: Well obviously it wasn't a one time thing cuz it happened twice but you're like for real together?

Castiel hesitates. What exactly does "together" mean? They're not romantically involved, but they were together sexually and hopefully will continue to be together sexually until he leaves tomorrow. Does that count as together, even if it's only physical and only temporary?

Castiel: Hopefully we'll get to talk (and do more than talk) later and I'll have an answer for you by the end of the day.

Charlie: AHHHHH I can't believe it!

Charlie: It's been a long ten years, but you've finally got a boyfriend!

Castiel: "Boyfriend" is pushing it. I'm not looking for an actual partner. I just kinda want to hook up, I guess? And I'm guessing Dean feels the same way, because he did used to be really into one night stands before he and Jo got together.

Charlie: But Cassss this is your chance! Who knows when you'll find someone else that might want to go out with you?

Charlie: Especially because you never come out to anyone

Charlie: Which means you pass up golden opportunities all the damn time

Charlie: And that this is your big chance

Castiel: I took that big chance and got pretty much exactly what I wanted out of it. I don't want a real relationship. Relationships involve way too much communication and I'm a very reserved person. I'm just very much not cut out for romance, so can we just admire the fact that I'm probably not going to leave this house a virgin and leave it at that?

Charlie: Fiiiine but I still think you should actually get together

Charlie: You can be secret boyfriends

Charlie: With your clandestine meetings and longing stares

Castiel: You can't change my mind just by quoting Taylor Swift lyrics at me.

Charlie: Dammit -_-