Charlie falls asleep on Castiel's shoulder, and though he's sure she wouldn't be upset if he tried to slip out from under her, he doesn't want to risk waking her up to do it. He's not very tired, which is weird; he was exhausted when he first got here but that didn't last long. He decides to spend the night writing -- poetry, of course; he's never found the same charm in creating stories -- but, again, he can't move to get anything, so he has to write on his phone. It's not quite the same vibe as writing in a notebook, but it's far from the first time he's done it, either; there are documents in his google drive going back over a decade that he's never had the heart to delete.

He will admit that he gets a little too wrapped up in his writing to pay attention to his surroundings, but that happens a lot when he's writing. He can spend hours in his own head, just trying to find the right words to explain how he's feeling. In fact, he gets so distracted that he doesn't even realize he's not the only one awake until he hears a voice from the doorway.

"Looking very claustrophobic over there, Cas."

Castiel locks his phone instinctively before he even processes that the voice belongs to Dean -- not, of course, that that makes any difference; he doesn't want Dean looking at his personal thoughts more than he wants anyone else to. He looks over at the man, who's leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, an amused smile on his face.

"Well, it's... it's not a bed?" Castiel says uncertainly, and he knows even as the words are leaving his mouth that it's a pathetic excuse.

"Uh-huh," Dean hums, clearly unconvinced.

Castiel changes the subject. "What are you doing up? It's..." He clicks his phone on to check the time. "It's almost two in the morning." That's actually a lot later than he thought it was; his sleep schedule is never going to recover.

"I wanted a glass of water," Dean says with a shrug. "And then I figured I'd make sure you weren't dying on the floor, but apparently I didn't have to worry about that because you're not on the floor at all."

"Yeah..." Castiel trails off because honestly, what do you say to that?

Apparently his silence isn't a problem, because Dean continues the conversation with, "If I were to ask a question that you probably think is, like, super obvious, would you not judge me?"

Castiel raises an eyebrow. "I guess?"

"Good enough for me," Dean says. "Are you and Charlie dating?"

"Are we -- what?" Castiel sputters, staring at him.

"See, this is that whole 'it's super obvious but don't judge me for asking' thing I was talking about," Dean says. "So I take that as a no."

"A very big no," Castiel confirms. "She's like my little sister." Of course, he actually does have siblings -- no sisters, but still siblings -- and they're nothing like her. She's like the little sister he wishes he had. "Why? Is that what people are saying?"

"No, it's not, like, a widespread thing," Dean assures him. "But Jo and I were a little curious, and I figured hey, why not just ask?"

"Well, I do appreciate you not just making assumptions," Castiel tells him. God knows not everyone gives him the benefit of the doubt these days. Perks of being a celebrity. "But no, I'm not cheating on my fake girlfriend with a real girlfriend or anything."

"Cool," Dean says. "Hey, speaking of, how do you feel about Jo?"

Castiel eyes him warily. That's a weird question. How is he supposed to feel about Jo? Is there a specific answer he's looking for? Is this some sort of "I want to talk siht behind her back but I need to make sure we're on the same page" thing? He can't imagine Dean secretly disliking Jo, but he also can't picture where else this could be going.

He opts for a more neutral approach with, "She's pretty cool."

"Just 'cool'?" Dean asks.

Since that apparently was not where Dean wanted him to go, Castiel gives up trying to guess. "What type of answer are you looking for?"

"Well..." Dean frowns. "If I say something, will you not tell Jo I told you?"

Castiel raises an eyebrow. "I guess?"

"Last time you said that, you did the exact opposite of what I asked you to do," Dean reminds him.

Castiel chuckles softly. "Okay, what if I said 'no' and I promised not to tell her?" Because he's really interested in where this is going.

"That would work much better," Dean says. "So you won't tell her?"

"Scout's honor," Castiel says, despite never having been a boy scout and the phrase meaning absolutely nothing to him.

"Cool," Dean says. "Because Jo kinda wants to go out with you -- like, for real, not just for publicity -- and she's been really paranoid ever since she found out you were spending the holidays with another girl. I'm supposed to be her wingman, but honestly, I have no idea how to wingman and being subtle is just not happening. So, like, do you wanna go out with her, and if so, can you tell her that?"

Castiel frowns. "She... what?"

Dean nods. "I'm honestly kind of surprised you haven't figured it out, because she hasn't exactly been subtle."

"What do you --" Castiel pauses. Now that he thinks about it...

She invited him here because she thought he was bringing a male friend, and she seemed disappointed to hear that wasn't the case. She greeted him with a hug despite the fact that the paparazzi were nowhere to be seen. She wanted him to sleep in her bed. She really does like him, doesn't she?

"Great," Castiel mutters, quietly enough that he doesn't think Dean will hear it. He lols his head back, exasperated. Maybe he should have taken Dean's advice and faked sick so he didn't have to deal with this.

"I take it you don't feel the same way," Dean guesses.

"No, I really don't," Castiel says, still staring at the ceiling. "And I'm glad you told me, obviously, but... god, this fake relationship is going to be so weird now."

"Yeah..." Dean says awkwardly. "I'm sure this is a long shot, but as Jo's wingman -- who is doing a spectacularly bad job, for the record -- I do have to ask if you think there's any chance you might grow to like her? You know, as more than a friend?"

This is such a shitty conversation to be having with the guy you would absolutely fuck if you could.

"I won't," Castiel says, and he doesn't elaborate.

"Then... should I tell her that?" Dean asks, and he really seems to feel as awkward and uncertain as Castiel does.

"I don't know," Castiel says. He picks his head up and looks up at the man "If you think it will help, go for it. If you think she's going to try to talk to me about it, please don't."

"Can I ask why you're so confident you won't ever start to like her?" Dean asks. "I mean, I know everyone has their own taste in girls and that you have to have chemistry, but --"

"No, you can't ask," Castiel interrupts, his voice a little too cold, but it's not like he could help it. The second Dean mentioned a "taste in girls," he realized this was not at all a conversation he wanted to be having. He hadn't exactly planned on his response making Dean more interested, but if the look of both surprise and confusion on his face is any indication, that's exactly what he did.

"Sorry, I didn't think that was going to hit a nerve," Dean says uncertainly. "I, uh..." He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. "I won't tell her anything so she doesn't ask, either, and... I guess I'll leave you to whatever you were google docs-ing before I bothered you. 'Night, Cas."

Part of him is more than happy to let Dean leave. It just means he doesn't have to continue a conversation that was edging towards vulnerability. If it had been anyone else, he would have just said "good night" and watched them leave. But since it's Dean...

Castiel sighs. "Wait."

Dean just cocks an eyebrow. He doesn't say anything -- probably because Castiel just snapped at him for seemingly no reason and he doesn't want it to happen again -- but he doesn't leave, either, which is... well, he wants to say it's good, but he almost wishes he would leave so Castiel didn't have to do this awkward apology thing.

"I'm sorry," he says. "That was a little..."

"It's fine," Dean assures him, though Castiel gets the feeling it's still bugging him, at least a little bit. "I get it. I was getting a little annoying."

"No, it's not your fault." Castiel says, and he really wants to stop there but he feels like he owes Dean an explanation just so the guy doesn't hate him. That's the worst part of having a lowkey crush on someone: you can't risk accidentally making them dislike you. "I'm gonna take a page out of your playbook for a second. If I tell you something, do you promise not to tell anyone?"

"'Course," Dean says, and he almost looks concerned now.

"And I mean literally anyone," Castiel adds. "Not even mutual friends of ours. Not even Jo."

And now he definitely looks concerned, but he agrees to that one, too.

"Even if for some reason we end up in an actual feud one day," Castiel adds, because he knows celebrity relationships can change at the drop of a hat and though he'd like to think the worst that will happen with him and Dean is that they drift apart, he needs to cover all his bases. He's seen Dean talk a lot of shit over a fake feud. If he ever actually held a grudge...

"I promise," Dean says. "I won't tell a soul."

"Okay, cool," Castiel says. He takes a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for this. He hasn't said it to anyone in almost a decade -- not since his manager tried to hook him up with his first fake girlfriend. It's too late to back out now, though. He's already made such a big deal over it, so he might as well get it over with. He drops his gaze, carefully avoiding Dean's eye, and mutters a quiet, "I'm gay."

Castiel waits for Dean to respond...

And he waits...

And waits some more...

And Dean doesn't say anything, so Castiel risks a glance at him, already preparing himself for the worst. He doesn't seem disgusted (which is a step up from when his dad found out, so he'll consider that a win). He seems more... thoughtful? There's definitely something going on in his head; Castiel just can't figure out what it is.

Finally, Dean just says, "You know, that really puts this conversation in perspective."

Castiel's not quite sure what he means by that, and at this point, he's too afraid to ask.

"Well, first of all, I'm really sorry for pestering you about Jo," Dean says. "I, uh..." He chuckles awkwardly. "I definitely get why you were getting a little defensive now."

Castiel gives a small nod, but he's too afraid to say anything until Dean actually tells him how he feels about this.

Dean purses his lips, clearly still thinking, and Castiel is suddenly reminded why he doesn't come out to people.

"I'm sorry for, you know, staring off into space," Dean says as if reading his mind. "'Cause it just occurred to me that this is probably making you very uncomfortable and that I should make sure you know that I'm not, like, judging you or anything and that, you know, I totally support you and all that, but I just..." He shakes his head. "I am just really impressed that you've kept that a secret for this long. Like, you have had a lot of girlfriends, and you...?"

Castiel shrugs awkwardly. "I'm an actor."

"You know, most actors only act when the camera's on," Dean remarks.

"I guess I'm more committed than most, then," Castiel says.

"Apparently," Dean agrees. "If this is too personal, you don't have to answer it, but is there a reason you don't tell... well, anyone? I mean, I don't blame you for keeping it away from, you know, the general public, but is there a reason you don't want anyone here to know?"

"Charlie does," Castiel says. "I don't know if that makes a difference, but, uh..." He hesitates. He could probably just come right out and say it -- it's not like Dean doesn't know he doesn't talk to his family anymore -- but he's not sure he wants to go there right now, so he's a little more vague. "Some people have reacted... very poorly to it, so I just... kinda keep it to myself."

"Oh." Dean frowns. "That's... awful. I'm sorry."

Castiel shrugs. "It's okay. It's been a long time. I'm over it." Most days, at least. There are times when he finds himself wishing he did still have a family back home, someone who's known him since he was a kid and can reminisce on old times with him, but he can almost always count on Charlie to keep him company when he's lonely. And when he can't... well, he found out the hard way that the number to the old landline no longer works, so he couldn't contact them in a moment of weakness anyway.

"That's good... I think?" Dean says uncertainly, but after a second, he appears to have a revelation that changes his mind. "So that's what you... " He purses his lips, seemingly thinking once again. He's doing a lot of that, and it's kind of stressing him out. "If it's any consolation, I don't think anyone here would care. Not quite a familial substitute, but..."

"You pieced that one together real fast." He didn't expect that. He didn't really expect Dean to remember that one remark about his family, either -- at least not without him bringing it up himself.

Dean gives a small shrug. "I pay attention."

"Apparently," Castiel agrees, and he has to admit, that earns a little bit of a smile. "You know, you probably know more about me now than anyone but Charlie."

"I can't say I'm too surprised," Dean says. "I don't know if you've realized, but you're not exactly an easy person to get to know."

"No, trust me, I'm aware, and it's not an accident," Castiel says.

"In that case," Dean says, "thank you for making me the exception to the rule."

Castiel smiles. "Thank you for not making me regret it."