It was three weeks before I saw Lev or his family again. Choosing to avoid them seemed a better option for my sanity. I was so tired of the self-humiliation. It would have been easier to dealt with if someone had purposefully done something concrete. That would have justified me feel the way I was feeling. On the basic level of my torment was the reality that I had let myself be used. I was doing this to myself. My thoughts had turned cold and cruel towards myself.

The time apart had done me well. Like a diver slowly surfacing it gave me a moment to equalize the pressure within my heart.

Stepping out a cab I approached the restaurant. It was at Jane's birthday dinner and being present was important. Draping my shawl over my arms, I opened the door, avoiding a puddle from the recent rain.

The whole family was here filling the private area with boisterous noise. A healthy spirit of celebration was in the eyes of everyone. Jane's parents where present along with her brother and his mate. The pack warriors along with Lev's brothers laughed loudly at a story that David was telling. Everyone was enjoying the company and joy of the evening.

I felt somewhat out of place.

"Katia! Over here!" Called out Jane. I walked over to her glad for a connection.

"Happy birthday Jane." I said, hugging her firmly.

"Thank you. I feel like I haven't seen you in ages, even your hair is longer. " She said touching my recently outgrown locks.

"I known. I've been busy at work." I replied back, partially true. Work was my main pursuit these days.

"You work too hard! I need to speak to Mr Rotham. That man keeps you too busy. One would swear you were the only secretary in the firm." She said, I just smiled back at her.

"Here is your present." I said handing over her gift and changing the direction of the conversation. It was a photo of her and David that I took on her first birthday party with him. She had cake in her hair and was smudging a piece in his face. Her smile was matched only by the love that radiated between the two of them. It seemed like a fitting gift for the occasion.

"Oh, you didn't need to get me anything." She said, sincerity in her voice.

"You deserve to be spoiled. I hope David treated you well." I asked. Jane suddenly arched her neck as if she was in a beauty commercial. Something pretty sparkled around her neck.

"Oh you know David. He's very good at taking care of his wife." She replied, showing off a new necklace. A single stone hung off, the exact shade of her green eyes.

"I see he does." I laughed; feeling a bit more relaxed than when I entered.

"He's a great husband. I never thought that I would have a mate as kind as him." She said, her voice softening in admiration. At the word mate my chest tighten and my smile faulted. I nodded but it was strained.

"Sorry. Look I know you get uneasy around the word mate, but yours is out there." she said trying to comfort my trouble mind. 

If she only knew. Jane would either rage or cry. 

"I don't think it's in the cards for me." The words slipping softly out of my mouth, acknowledging my greatest fears.

"Don't say that. There are wolves that find their mates at a later age. Not everyone makes a connection when they turn eighteen." Replied Jane. Her answer was the same one every gave. A shallow comfort to the depth of my predicament.

"I'm twenty-six Jane, soon to be twenty seven. I need to wake up. If it didn't happen by now, it's not going too." I said, looking into the flame of a candle on the table.I wondered if it would be easier to give up on Lev and I. Give up on marriage, kids and love. Deferred hope was  destructive for my soul. 

I couldn't hold to belief anymore.

"Maybe you should get out of town. Travel a bit. You've met all the wolves on these lands. It's clear the one you need is outside of our pack." She said trying to hand me a lifeline of hope. Too bad I was trapped in a sinking ship.

"Unlikely. Even if that were true, distance never was able to separate mates." I replied.

"Maybe you should speak the Alpha. Robert might have some answers to why you are still single. There might be a special circumstance. He could help. I'll even go with you." She said squeezing my hand.

The last thing I needed was people doing an introspect into my love life or lack there of. Being humiliated was hard but if my situation became public I would be mortified. 

Who couldn't get their mate to acknowledge them? What did that speak of my internal character? Lev didn't see me as one and he didn't want me as one. If he didn't want to accept me, then there was no way we could be.

"No. It's fine. I'll see Alpha Rob on my own. When I'm ready." I said in haste, trying to close the subject.

"Okay. Until you go I will be setting you up on some dates. Maybe Lev could give me a few names of his friends. " Jane looked around, eager to create a list.

The thought of Lev putting me up on a blind date with a new friend of his made me nauseous. I wasn't keen on his bar hopping crowd. Jane's brow furrowed.

"I can't believe he still not here. He should have been here twenty minutes ago. Traffic couldn't have been that bad. Tina doesn't even live that far from here." She said reaching for her phone. Most likely to text and ask him where he and Tina was.

"Wait. Who's Tina?" I asked, confused by the name. We didn't have a Tina in our group of friends.

"His girlfriend. He met her three weeks ago and they been spending almost any available moment together. She's such a sweet girl and has really found a way into his heart. She's even quelled his bar hopping. We honestly never thought anyone would break through after Arabelle. She's great. A human girl that was adopted by a wolf family as a child. I'm surprised he didn't tell you." She said, texting away. My hands went as pale as my face.

"He doesn't tell me anything." I replied, my words wavering in unbelief. Lev didn't have girlfriends. Not since Arabelle. He had one-nightstands. Plenty. Lev never called one his girlfriend.

 My heart stopped beating.  Every fibre in my muscles froze. My chest became frozen as my heartbeat stalled. My body went cold.

A painful torment was about to befall me.

A text message beep went off in the background. One I knew was Lev's.

"Lev! About time you two showed up!" Said Jane, standing up and walking towards them. I couldn't move. something was physically wrong with me. Something was happening to my heart. My body refused to move.  I was going to break.  Everything that had held me together over the last three years began to disintegrate. I had reached the tipping point and tumbled over the edge.

"Sorry. We struggle to get out of mid-town. Oh Katia's here. She can finally meet Tina. I feel like everyone has met her excepting my best friend." Lev said. Everyone had met her? She was already a part of his life? Of his world?

Jane pulled me out of my chair and led me to them, my feet stumbling over in my inability to function. Had Jane not held such a firm grip on my arm I would have fallen. Or I would have fled.

Lev's arm held the waist of a pretty young girl. Pretty being a gross understatement. Tina was stunning. Her hair flowed in the softest of waves around her, the deep chocolate brown shinning bright. Long lean legs that could have only been on an athlete held up her frame. She wasn't even a slut. Dressed demurely grace exuded from her. Her laughter was infectious. Tina was class and loved by those who surrounded her.

"Katia, I would like you to meet my girlfriend Tina. " Said Lev. My eyes snapped away from her and looked straight into his face. His happy face that was stupid and oblivious.

A loud thud echoed in my ears. A devastatingly, hollow sound heard only be me. My heart that had halted in pause started to boom. It no longer sounded the same and I knew a change had occurred. My heart didn't break. It had been broken over the last two years by him without fail. 

It harden. Fate had collided with the termination of my destiny.

I was furious at Lev's complete and wretched stupidity. I had waited for him! I thought he needed time to come around but he didn't. He was an inconsiderate ass and he made me a fool. I hated what he had done to me and in turn, I hated him.

I turned on my heal and marched out the door.

"Katia! Katia!" Lev called out to me as I marched down the sidewalk, people moving out my way.

"Katia, Seriously what the hell is wrong with you?!" Yelled Lev. He grasped my arm and forcing me to whirl around. The tingles that used to be faintly there were gone. Instead bolts of electricity zapped my arm.

My body reacted to him as danger. He made me so physically sick that the taste of bile filled my mouth. I wanted to throw up on him.

"Don't touch me!" I seethed through clenched teeth. My eyes flashed as my wolf rose in anger. Lev started at my eyes.

"How dare you barge out like that! Do you have any idea how rude you are! What's a matter with you?" He yelled, mad at me!

"Lev, let go of me." I growled. My voice turned as dangerous as the pain that flooded my being. Something hacked my heart.

"No. You are going to turn around and apologize to Tina!" He said, oblivious to the fury radiating off me.I pulled my arm back and look at him in disbelief.

He wanted me to apologise to the woman who had replaced me and had robbed me of my future? This man robbed me of my love, my future children, my husband and my life. A future he didn't even care to think about before causally dismissing.

"Just because you are my best friend doesn't mean you get to act like a spoiled brat. You need a reality check. Pull your shit together." He said, getting in my face.  My rage boiled over. I lost all reason. The last piece of restraint left me as my faith in him departed.

"Your best friend? Don't kid yourself Lev. We haven't been friends for a long time. " I yelled at him, my hands clenched until they went white.

"What the hell is wrong with you." He asked, his brow furrowed in disgusted irascibility at my behaviour.

"When was the last time you bothered to call? If you were my so call 'best friend' you would remember? You haven't really been around Lev! The only time you ever call if you needed something! When was the last time you asked how I was doing? When last did we hang out and do something I wanted to do? Something that didn't involve me being your designated driver, caterer, maid or errand girl?! Did you even notice me?!" I asked him, my wrath spilling over.

"How you say that!" He said in disbelief.

After years of oblivion my eyes were finally opened to the horrific truth.

"Really? Tell me that you have actually been a friend? Here I was thinking you were still grieving! But you were just using me! I can't believe I didn't see this until now." I said, shaken at my own stupidity.

"I have never used you! You have always been a part of my life and for you to say this is just beyond hurtful." He said, his eyes filled with pain.

For the first time in my life I didn't care. I didn't care that I was causing him some small inconvenience. Not after he had destroyed me,  not even noticing the devastation he had caused. I was done being left by his waste-side.  

He didn't love me. He didn't even respect me as a friend.

"If it's not true then tell me, my birthday was two months ago. What did you do?" I asked him, my lips firm.

"I didn't know it was your birthday. I didn't remember." He said, his eyes softening with shame. A bitter wave of pain struck me because he didn't recall anything.

"Oh but it was such a magical night." I said sarcastically. " I had to pick up your drunk ass from the bar and you threw up in my car. "

"Why didn't you tell me? You should have said something." He said, trying to reach for my hand. I pulled away, disgusted by him.

"I shouldn't have needed to say anything. You should have been there for me. Fuck Lev, you didn't even pretend to care!" I said, tears filling my eyes.

"I did care. I do. Just come back inside. We'll have some cake and talk things out. " He said, thinking our fight could be fixed like the ones we had when we were kids.

We weren't kids anymore and our problems were greater than ourselves. I had exhausted myself in trying to help him and to prove that I could was worthy of being his soulmate. 

I love him so hard, I had drained my soul for him. 

I couldn't even get him to see the best in me, in turn I failed to see it in myself. How could I trust him when he made me a stranger to myself?  My head felt heavy as I grasped it how toxic our relationship was. The damage was so far gone, that there was no way to recover it.

"No Lev. I can't do this, us, anymore. I'm done." I whispered, pain and sorrow in every word. I took step away from him. Confused he just stood there, unable to comprehend what wa happening. 

I walked away. I couldn't be a part of his life anymore.

The next morning I placed in a transfer at work for an opening at our firm in Seattle. It was approved within an hour of submission. I packed up everything the same day and by nightfall I was on the road. Each mile that I drove on increased the distance between us.

Our friendship was over.