Me: So, Watch, what's up? *I look at him as he entered the containment cell*

Watch: I heard you're a vampire. If that's true, then that makes you an anomaly and we need to give you an item number. And put you in your own containment chamber. We can't have you attacking anyone.

Me: Maybe I am. I have the cute little fangs, can't eat garlic without it making me sick, and I burn in the sun and I get tired during the day because I have to work mornings and I don't like it. And it's hard for me to sleep sometimes at night.

Watch: Then that makes you a vampire.

Me: Now hold on, not necessarily.

Watch: What do you mean, not necessarily? Are you one or not?

Me: If I were, I'd need blood to survive on, not regular food. Because then I wouldn't need to eat so much. I'd actually probably be pretty fit. But no, I'm not a vampire. I just have certain sensitivities to different things. That's all.

Watch: You sure?

Me: Yeah. I'm even allergic to nickel in earrings.

Watch: Really? How did you find out?

Me: The painful way. I had a pair of cheap earrings and didn't even know they had nickel in them until I got up one night to use the bathroom and saw that my ears were bleeding and infected.

Watch: What did you do then?

Me: I took them out, and cleaned my ears with rubbing alcohol and avoided earrings with nickel in them since then and have bought ones that are nickel free and hypoallergenic. So would a vampire be allergic to things? Probably not because people watch too many Hollywood created vampire movies and have believed the stereotype.

Watch: Um, okay.

Me: Also, another thing. My favorite character from Super Mario Bros, Bowser, is a giant turtle called a Koopa, breathes fire like a dragon, and has magical powers. And, could possibly be a vampire. Yes he's kidnapped Princess Peach from time to time, but he's never hurt her, and yet she rejects his proposal of marriage so many times, has gone as far as to insult him and judge him, when all he wants is for her to return his feelings and be a mom for his kids. Yet instead of politely declining she throws a tantrum like a spoiled child. And no Watch, I'm not done yet.

Watch: .....

Me: That blonde haired princess needs to be taught some manners. She ain't all that sweet and innocent as her character is made out to be. Sure, she kicks ass in Smash, but that's it. When I was younger I used to like her but not now. She's just a spoiled little princess and instead of actually dating Mario or marrying him she just bakes him a damn pie or cake or gives him a party to celebrate him "rescuing" her. When really, she mostly lets herself be kidnapped for power. So no, she is not that sweet.

Watch: ...are you done ranting now?

Me: No. If I ever see that princess I'm gonna teach her what manners truly are and it's called venting, Watch, not ranting. And leave 049 alone. In fact, leave all the other anomalies alone too.

Watch: What? Why?

Me: Because they too have feelings. And also, I think 049 mostly wants to cure bad people. Why do you think he has an endless supply of D-Class which by the way I had his permissions reinstated? Because they're here for a reason. They did bad things because they were bad people.

Watch: Dr. Hamm wasn't a bad person.

Me: How could you possibly know that? You didn't know him. So how could you decide for yourself that he was good or bad? You can't. So you don't know.

Watch: But-

Me: -he wasn't sick? He was healthy? You don't know that. He could have been sick and 049 just wanted to help him. Yes, I know that the doctor's cure isn't perfect, but he's working on it. It takes time. It's like learning to tie your shoes or ride a bike for the first time. You're gonna fall off, you're gonna make mistakes, but in time you'll get it right.

Watch: Why are you defending 049?

Me: Because even though he created zombies, he did bring the dead to life again. And who knows, maybe he'll make them immortal and forever young? Wouldn't it be nice if we could not die? Not be sick? Not grow old? Not lose our looks?

Watch: Well yeah but that's just wishful thinking.

Me: But 049 can grant at least one of those wishes! By bringing the dead back to life they're free of the illness that once plagued them and are now cured. And when you incinerate them, you're just destroying his hard work.

Watch: We do that so they don't attack and hurt people and/or kill them!

Me: What if said people are sick? And those zombies aren't actually attacking them, but trying to take them to 049 so he can help them?

Watch: You're crazy.

Me: Be that as it may, I still think that you should leave him and the other anomalies be.

Watch: Again, you're crazy. *walks out of the chamber*