---Thomas' POV---

It's been a week since that doctor stepped in my room, snapping me out of my grieving, if only for a moment. I had been stunned when he had snapped the covers off of me. Nobody had done that, instead choosing to let me grief and sink into this... this nothingness.

"Thomas?"

I blinked, looking up as the door opened slowly, revealing Dr. Carmichael and Mr. Brown walking in. My eyes landed on the wheelchair that Mrs. Brown pushed in behind them before they narrowed.

I hate that thing.

"Good to see you awake Thomas. You're ready to start your physical recovery under Dr. Nicolai's watchful eye. His center has prepared a room for you, where you will remain for the full rehabilitation."

I nodded once to show I understood before averting my eyes to my lap, only to be faced by my two disfigured legs. One a small lump, the other something you would encounter after a shark had taken its fill.

My stomach churned before I managed to look away, a silent tear rolling down my face. Acid burned my throat as I gulped it down, instead staring in the distance as I felt the voices of disgust sneer in my head.

I hate those things.

I should've died.

David should've survived... he would've been stronger than me.

I'm such a weak, pathetic failure.

Despair bubbled up in my chest as I fought to keep a straight face. I couldn't cry in front of them, I wouldn't cry in front of anyone. This was my burden to bear. The pressure in my chest was painful as I swallowed back the tears, watching as the doctor checked my legs one last time.

"You're healing just nicely Thomas. Soon you can try to stand and have a fitting for a prosthetic leg." He smiled encouragingly but all I felt was disgust and anger. As I was moved gently so my leg hung over the bed, I glared at the wheelchair.

Anger was bubbling up inside before my chest deflated as I tried to move forwards on my own. Nothing happened and my limp, pathetic excuse of a leg remained motionless. It was sickening.

I clenched my eyes and hands shut as I was lifted up and into the seat before Mrs. Brown came over with a soft blanket, tucking it around my small form. Her hand lingered around my legs before she ever so gently tucked the blanket in under the lump, a broken sob escaping me.

"It's all right darling..." She whispered in a barely there voice, raw of emotion. "Y-You'll be just fine. We'll come visit as often as you like." She added, wrapping her warm fingers around my cold ones before giving them a squeeze.

I couldn't look her in the eye nor could I reply to her whispered promise but I was glad to be able to pinch my fingers together for a fraction of a second. Understanding filled her tired brown eyes before she straightened up and rolled me out the room.

As soon as we stepped outside, I could feel the gazes of the people. Curious, judging, prying into something they knew nothing about. No doubt they were imagining what happened to me, nodding to themselves before going on with their blissfully unaware selves.

While they walked past with smiles and covered glances to my legs, they offered me smiles of pity when they noticed the missing leg and the hospital behind me. All I wanted to do was scream in their faces, that they could keep their goddamned pity and shove it.

Who were they to pity me, to feel sorry for what I lost? They didn't have the slightest inkling of what I was going through. The pressure in my chest grew once more, the dark voices murmured louder and laughed at my lack of self-control.

Look at you, so weak and disgusting.

No wonder the Browns can't stand to look at you.

My eyes widened at the thought before glancing up at either Marissa or Richard. He caught my eye and smiled shakily before looking away, much to the voices' glee. I blinked, motionless and empty as the wheelchair came to a halt and I was lifted into the car.

"You okay honey? Are you feeling cold?" Marissa asked, already grabbing a second blanket to lay over me. "I'm fine." I whispered barely audible before closing my eyes, letting a tear slip as I pressed my cheek against the cool glass.

I soon realized that I was sitting beside Richard, who was driving, and that was a big mistake. Because every time a car was coming our way, I felt my heart starting to race, my hands getting clammy, lungs screaming for air as I held my breath.

Luckily Richard glanced in the mirror and noticed my distress before putting two and two together. I heard the clicking of the lights before the car came to a halt, cool air rushing in as he opened the door and gently lifted me up, seating me behind his wife.

He wrapped the seatbelt around me and started to lean back before I managed to grab his wrist with frail fingers, halting him. "T-Thanks." I whispered, swallowing the bile and shivering as cold sweat dotted over my forehead.

Richard only nodded, his eyes sorrowful as he glanced at me before gently shutting the door. I closed my eyes again and forced myself in a fitful slumber.

---Nicolai's POV---

I was in my office when Eddy knocked on the door and popped his head in. "The new patient arrived Nic, might wanna check up on him soon." He murmured, not even waiting for me to call him in.

He paused before stepping fully in the room, closing the door behind him. "Look, I have the feeling we need to keep an eye on this kid...It's almost like he's desperately trying to balance on a rope and someone keeps yanking it from under his feet."

My heart warmed at the clear concern in his voice and eyes, along with pride for his on point instincts. "You're right Eddy, I'd suggest to keep all medicine out of young Thomas' room along with concealed supervision. Keep an eye on him but don't make it obvious."

Edmund blinked at that order before a slow grin slipped on his lips. "Oh. I see how it is. Keep an eye on him, got it." He added teasingly, winking once as I shook my head. "I know you Nicolai and I know you're interested in that boy."

"He's a patient." I snapped in annoyance, only making Edmund's smirk widen. "Oh, touchy subject. I'm right as always darling." He chuckled before squeaking when a hand smacked over his ass. Edmund's eyes bulged out before he blushed and looked at the floor as a deep voice chuckled behind him.

"Is that so Eddy?" Victor grinned down at his lover, palming his ass once more before motioning him out of the room. Eddy grinned with a slight flush before scurrying outside and I chuckled as he nearly ran into one of his fellow nurses.

Victor smirked at the frazzled boy before shaking his head lovingly and closed the door behind him. "Little rascal getting into trouble wherever he goes. Anyways, Boss, what you need me for?"

"Nothing much, just for you to make sure the whole crew read the files and knows what they can and can't do." I spoke, watching the amused glint in Victor's eyes before he nodded once. "My interest is on Thomas' recovery only." I added.

"Sure Boss. Whatever you say."

I glared at my longtime friend as he chuckled and heaved his massive frame in a seat, throwing his feet up. "What's so special about the little one anyways?" He drawled, eying me curiously. He knew I wouldn't fall head over heels for anyone. I didn't do romance nor was I interested in a long-term relationship.

Shrugging, I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face. "I-I don't know." Victor started to say something, probably expecting me to deny any attraction but I simply couldn't. I knew I felt something more beyond the bond of Patient and Doctor when I first looked at Thomas.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." I replied to Victor's stunned reply before leaning back in my seat. "There's nothing I can do about it than sit back and see what's going to happen anyways. On another note," I spoke more seriously, looking at my friend to make sure I meant business.

"I do not want anyone to bother Thomas with questions of his past or what happened to him. You all know the rules, I know," I snapped cutting Victor off with a gesture as he was about to speak, "But you and I know that some of the nurses would like to gossip. The last thing Thomas' recovery needs, is a bunch of conniving, gossiping nurses spreading rumors."

Victor reluctantly nodded and stood up before pausing. "I can only speak for myself and Eddy but we'll make sure that Thomas will be treated well. You know that Nicolai. So I don't get why the sudden caution. Unless...He's a code red?"

I didn't want to think of it, but agreed nonetheless. "He is. I need a deep conversation with the boy to know for certain but I have the feeling that given a chance and being in a certain state of mind, Thomas is willing and capable to claim his own life, just so he's no longer separated from his fiancé."

Both of us gulped at that, for different reasons. Victor had recently proposed, so he could imagine the pain and horrific trauma Thomas is going through. I on the other hand remembered that one patient where we were too lax, believing he was recovering while he had been simply plotting a way out of the world.

A hand on my shoulder snapped me out of the dark memories. "It won't happen again Nicolai. And Charlie is in a better world now." I merely nodded before clearing my throat and motioned him out.

Charlie. The young boy, barely a teenager that had been the victim of bullying and attempted murder. The one boy that had won everyone's heart here as he tried desperately to recover after being shoved of a bridge.

The only patient who sank too deep into depression and found his peace in a neglected bottle of medicine. I would forever remember myself of my greatest failure both to the boy and the boy's parents.

Instead of dwelling on dark memories of the past, I stood and left the gloomy office, noticing that the sun was slowly setting. My feet carried me through the building until I realized I was closing in on Thomas' room.

Voices sounded through the hall in soft murmurs before I pushed the door open, noticing one of the nurses flitting through his room. She was talking happily, uncaring that Thomas didn't respond.

"Debora." The curly haired ginger turned around, smiling warmly. "Oh good evening, Dr. Nicolai. I was just explaining Thomas here that there is always a nurse on call if he ever needs something at night." She spoke, fluffing a pillow before ever so gently lifting Thomas' wounded leg and putting it underneath.

"There. How's that darling? High enough or do you want another one?" She waited for a moment to see if Thomas would reply, but when he just looked at her, she grinned. "Ah. Silent treatment huh? Doesn't work on me sweetness, I'm going to stick around till I hear your voice."

"And even after speaking up, she won't shut up." I added, laughing good-naturedly when Debora huffed before filling the air with her own chiming laughter. I swore I saw Thomas' lip twitch upwards for a moment, but then he sighed deeply and looked out the windows.

"Okay, I get it. You're obviously grumpy because you haven't eaten anything yet but I'll fix that. I'm sure that Kenny is still in the kitchen and cook something up for you. Be back in ten minutes sweetie." Debora said with a wink and a kiss blown towards Thomas before she walked out the room with her belongings, hair swishing as she walked.

I chuckled and made a mental note to remind myself to give Debora a raise. She was one of the best nurses I ever had in my facility and I would never let her go either. She had been able to pry even the most depressed patient out of the darkness to slowly guide them into the light.

But as I turned and looked at Thomas and the shimmer of tears in his eyes, I couldn't help but fear that this was once challenge Debora might not be able to tackle. Because Thomas had to want to recover.

If he didn't want to heal, nobody could force him to do so. The only thing we could do was convincing him there was something left fighting for. And I swore silently to the boy that I was going to find him a reason that would force him to never think of what lies beyond death.

And as our eyes met, I had a feeling that the boy was going to provoke many feelings in me along the way. He might be the only thing strong enough to break through the armor I had around my heart.

Only time would tell, right?