A/N: CONTAINS SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

The same kind of simple houses flew past my window, gradually giving way to a field that seemed to have no end in sight. Behind that old sedan was my family home where I was born, raised, and spent my entire life. At least, if that house hadn't been demolished to build an array of condos for assholes who think they're celebrities. All this meant was that my past was inevitably dying, and the future, if it existed, did not seem promising.

And it would have been nice if it had all happened of my own free will, but hell no. All this was done for "my own fucking good," for a high purpose that's getting serious so much that you don't even have time to realize when to send out an S. O. S.

I could feel the wheels spinning under my seat, and my headphones, which were already deafening me, barely covered the screams in the car. My mother, Jill, was trying to brainwash my brother, who was listening obediently and mindlessly to her wild-eyed chatter about how our government had long since been taken over by either Freemasons or aliens. She was also largely not to blame for the fact that we are now getting away in a car filled with a bunch of junk in a direction known to one hell of a lot of people.

The only person I can say a sincere "fucking thank you" to for all of this is the land of "endless possibilities" I live in, the USA. A country that fights for a "dream" that no one has giving a flying shit on. Maybe in the fifties I would have been fine if my destiny was to become a typical family man with a house, a car, a stay-at-home wife, and kids, but when you're in twenties and you're a teenager in high school, the only thing I'm worried about now is not throwing up from the chaos that was going on here.

I realized that my life was shit, but I didn't realize that soon I would just get bored with it. At that moment, I was indifferently contemplating the "scenery" of the bumfuck we had moved to. From the window of the car, which slowed down in the city, I could contemplate the views of the residential areas that were to become my "new home". We were "lucky" to be driving during rush hour, so I saw a multi-class human anthill, where serious-looking middle-aged clerks with busy looks passed by homeless people sleeping on cardboard. To be honest, I envy them, at least they have a purpose and something to fight for to find a drink somewhere, while I just exist in this madhouse called my family.

"Tyler," Jill said to me, "you better make sure I don't get called to the principal's office on my first day." She still thought of me as a dependent child, even though this was the last year I would be going to school.

The classroom I walked into was filled with people. If you were asked to imagine typical dumb high school students, what I saw before my eyes would be the best visualization of these stereotypes. Among them were a few huddled masses of girls, including the one who was always elected "prom queen" and around whom a dumb-as-a-cork bull was curling, lucky enough to be honored to date her. Or at least he hoped so. At the back desk, there was always a nerd who suffered from the same bull's "ridiculous as fuck" jokes. Out of all the possible options, I got the most stereotypical class, fuck thanks.

I decided not to get involved in anything, so I sat down as far away from everyone as possible, like the last nerd who would be considered a reclusive informal. As luck would have it, the plan to go unnoticed didn't work and I was approached by the prom queen. I got a chance to look at her again and finally realized that she was the girl in school that all the boys die for, the head cheerleader who usually looks like Megan Fox in "Jennifer's Body".

"I see you're new here?" she asked, in what she probably thought was a seductive voice, smiling flirtatiously.

"Hmm, it's not hard to guess," I replied with the most "go fuck yourself" look possible.

She seemed to get my hint, because suddenly she had to show the girls a Tik Tok video. Anyway, she was definitely not my type: typical "no makeup" makeup, which I honestly never saw the point of.

As I found out, it was going to be history, and we were going over a topic I had already studied: the space race. Everything seemed to go well, but I was as lucky with the teacher as I was with the class. He was definitely an immigrant, but I couldn't say for sure where he was from. After a few minutes, he started talking such bullshit that I could barely restrain myself from getting into a fight. He began to say that the moon landing was a fake to get ahead of the Soviets. I think he would have had a good conversation with my mother.

In the end, he had.

"And after all this, I'm supposed to send you to school alone with a calm mind?" Jill scolded me on the way home.

"Did I have to listen to this bullshit?" I replied.

"First, watch your mouth, you're not old enough to swear in front of your mother," she tried to educate me. "And second, the only thing that was bullshit was your 'Do you realize the absurdity of what you just said?'"

I decided not to answer that, but Jill made me.

"In general, you should be grateful that we are doing well..."

"WE ARE DOING WELL?!" then I just couldn't take it anymore and ran... God knows where. But for some reason, this direction led to our new "home".

For several minutes I stood in front of the entrance like an offended child.

"Come home," my mother said, pointing to the door.

"I don't know about you, but I'm not at home," I replied dryly.

"You're not at home? So where is it then?" she asked, pretending to be sympathetic.

"It looks like nowhere now," I said as I stumbled toward my room.

It probably can't get any worse. At least it could be avoided. At that moment, I looked up at the ceiling, where a removable chandelier hung from a hook, and then my eyes instinctively looked at the tie hanging on the chair.

There seemed to be only one solution.

I was about to go and get all the stuff for that when I realized a few things. A, I think I'm going insane. B, leaving this world to die on its own seems too selfish to me.

After these brief thoughts, I pulled on my headphones, turned on some music, and fell asleep quietly, thinking about what a fucking productive day it had been.

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A/N: hillow hillow, guys)

Welcome to my new story and first fanfic, sweeties. I know, this took really long but there were so many things happening in my life that I was able to publish only now, but I have a lot of news to tell)

First, my family moved outta flat and city we used to live for year to the place that is the best with our situation, so as I think the new part of my life started

Second is that I started to learn how to drive a car. Even though I'm 15 now (in Ukraine you can get drivers license only since you're 18) I already study theory and my mom promised me to help with some practice

Third is that I had IT camp, which caused me to try myself in design and programming and hence I started to prepare to one of the biggest exams in my life (that little scary thing called NMT, aka National Multi-subject Test). Also I came back to planning my day and doing yoga so everything is going very well)

And it wouldn't be me, if I didn't say anything about music. Especially knowing that I was in a road for almost two days and going in one soon. So track that conquered my heart recently was probably Holy Toledo! by Green Day, I have no clue why but this thing hits me so hard and probably it's my second favourite their track for a movie (of course after the Simpsons theme)

Oh, that was a lot about me but let's come back to the chapter. What do you think about it? Also adding a "making process" photo)

Yes, I took my first fanfic really seriously, that I made a whole mind map (it's not even finished yet). And, if you want to know, I made the cover to the book and the chapter myself <3

Aaaaand that's all for today

Hope you enjoyed this chapter)

Now I gotta go sleep, have a good night (or like it's at the best human here, afternoon)

Keep calm & c ya later, 🐊

Your MarSo ✨