I'm a bad girl you could say. I didn't want to be, but it's not like anybody gave a shit if I was. Drinking, smoking, doing whatever the hell I wanted. Nobody cared about me, maybe if someone did I could've turned out differently.

But they didn't.

I admit, I have trust issues, but that didn't mean I was completely against love or commitment. I craved it. I needed it so badly I couldn't breathe without it. The drinks helped with that somewhat, I could forget who I was for a moment, be free from all the ghosts. Then the high would wear off and reality would smack me in the face. Reminding me that I'm a nobody, a nobody with no life, no hopes, no chance.

When you're little they never warn you about the troubles of life, never tell you that humans are cruel, viscious, evil. Never tell you that you're heart will be shattered, that you'll parents will die. No, in that moment when you're a kid- life is innocent.

I grew up too early. I've seen things no child my age should've seen, and where were my parents through all this? Where were my guardian angels supposedly watching over me? They were gone. Just like everything else in my life.

I have a theory though, that if I find my true love, I'll be cured of this... sickness inside of me. This depression that is eating away at my life.

I want true love in it's purest form, raw, uncanny passion. I want the fireworks, I want to know them like the back of my hand, I want to be so in love I can't think straight.

I want that person to make me a better me.

.

.

He did that.