Esme's POV

You know that feeling you get in your gut when all you can feel is despair? Imagine that feeling, but 10000 times worse. I got the call at 4 am.

Cali was dead.

They found her on the floor of the police station. She had a gun in her hand and blood all over her. I bribed a nurse to drive Layla, Joey, and I over so we could say goodbye.

None of us knew what to do. We all knew that someday it would happen, but I hoped that it would be in a long time. Sadly, it happened today. And there was nothing we could do. She was gone.

When we got there, there was an ambulance already there and a few policemen.

Layla was the first to get out, and she was sobbing and screaming at everyone and everything.

"WHERE IS SHE? WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE? WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME???? WHERE IS CALI?" She sobbed, trying to get through the police that were guarding the door.

Joey and I grabbed onto her and I looked at the man, "I-I'm sorry. We're her friends. Please let us say goodbye, we don't have much time." I begged, tears pouring out of my eyelids.

He looked at us sympathetically and offered me a tissue, "I'm sorry for your loss, kids. What are your names?"

"I'm Esme, this is Joey and Layla." I answered, grabbing the tissue.

His eyes widened, "Wait really? She wrote you all letters. Layla Jennings, Joey Martinez, and Esmeralda Knight. I'm assuming that's you."

I nodded my head, "Yeah that's us. We'll read them later. Can we please see her?"

He rubbed his temples, "Yes. But it's pretty bad. I don't know if you want to." He said, opening the door.

I ran in with Layla and Joey right behind me. We saw her, laying in the middle of the floor, covered in blood.

We all sat down next to her and we were completely silent.

Layla laid her head on Cali's stomach and hugged her while Joey and I held her hand. We were all sobbing so hard, I could hardly breathe.

Joey smiled a little and glanced at me, "You know, one time a bitch was making fun of Layla and pushing her into a wall, and I couldn't do anything because I knew I would've killed the girl. Then, Cali sprinted over and beat the living crap out of the girl. She was screaming 'HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL, YOU BITCH?' The girl was literally on the verge of passing out when Cali stopped hurting her. She bent down right next to her, picked her up, and put her back into her room. I remember exactly what she said. She said, "Stop hurting people. That won't EVER make you feel better. The only reason you do that is because you're lost, and I'm so sorry for you. I may be a fucking mess, but at least I don't take my pain out on others. I hope someday you get better, because it must be so sad being like you."

I smiled a little "How in god's name do you remember all of that?"

"I sure as hell don't." Layla mumbled.

We all looked down at Cali sadly. "You're so stupid Cali.." I whimpered, leaning against Joey.

He attempted to wipe his tears off of his face, "No she's not. She just couldn't handle it without Addison."

"Well what are we supposed to do without her?" Layla asked, looking at me with her huge brown eyes.

Joey sighed, "We... we just have to keep on living for her. She finally got what she wanted, and I have to say it, but she looks pretty peaceful."

Layla scoffed, "Well of course she does, she's dead. Jesus, Joey. That doesn't mean that she's actually at peace. You're Christian, you know all that underworld shit."

"I'm Catholic. And she's not in hell. She's a good person." He answered, hugging Layla.

She laughed a little, "Cali is... was... a lot of things. A good person? That's debatable."

I shook my head, "No. She's a good person. She was a good person put into a bad situation." A really bad situation. Then I lost control of my emotions.

I began bawling uncontrollably, "Why Cali?? You could've gotten better. You could've been happy." I cried. Joey held onto Layla and I as tightly as possible and got up.

"NO. PUT ME DOWN. I WANT TO STAY WITH HER. JOEY LET ME GO." I sobbed.

"C'mon Esme. We can't stay here. None of us can handle it." He answered, crying as hard as I was.

"PLEASE. LET ME GO NOW JOEY. I.. I CAN'T LEAVE HER." I screamed. I couldn't let her be alone. She needed me.

He walked out of the police station. Still holding onto both Layla and I.

He sat us down carefully on a bench  "Esme. Stop. She's gone. You can't act like this, you have a baby counting on you. You're going to get yourself killed. I know you loved her more than you'll ever admit, but she's gone. She won't come back. You need to pull yourself together."

I nodded, and Layla held onto me. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "You guys loved her too."

Layla looked into my eyes and sighed, "Yes we did. But you loved her in a different way." She started, then she took a deep breath, "And we'll always love her. She's still with us, we just can't see her."

We all held onto each other for strength, but there was no strength left.

Cali was the strong one, not us.

"Do you think she's happy?" I asked as we left.

Layla shrugged, "Well hopefully she's with Addison and her dad now. If she is with them, I think she's happier than she's ever been."

Joey nodded, "I know she's happy. She finally got what she wanted. I just wish we could've said something to her before it happened. "

I thought about it for a moment, then I said "I don't think we needed to. I thinks she knew everything we would've told her."

They both nodded in agreement. Cali always knew. She was smart. Really smart. She just didn't show that side of her very often.

Layla hugged Joey and I and then gave us a sad smile, "I remember the day I met that stubborn bitch." She mumbled, rubbing her eyes. "I was having one of my famous meltdowns, and, Joey I think you were getting food or something, and it wasn't an angry meltdown like usual. I was crying and screaming and I couldn't stop. Then she came running, like always, and she didn't say anything. She didn't tell me everything was going to be okay, or that I would be fine someday. She just held onto me until I stopped crying. When I did, I thanked her. She said 'No worries. I know what it's like to be alone.' I told her that I wasn't alone, and wanna know what she said? She said 'Well of course you're not. I'm in here now.' That girl was so.... different from how Cali is now. Was, I guess."

I smiled, "I don't even remember meeting her. I just remember hearing her sing. Her voice was so beautiful, I thought that an angel was singing."

Joey looked up, and smiled more "An angel was singing. Cali was an angel."

I nodded in agreement, "Definitely. God I'm gonna miss her."

"Hey, what about our letters?" Layla asked.

"Oh, right! Here." I said, handing them out.

None of us opened them. It just wasn't the right time.

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Hey guys. Don't worry, it's not over yet :) But I just wanted to explain myself, for this chapter at least. This is a second draft of this chapter. The first draft was very different. It had no silver lining, it was sad and emotionally draining, and it kind of just got to me. I imagined learning that my best friend had killed herself, and that's how I wrote the chapter. It was perfect for this book. But I couldn't do it. I got so emotional thinking about losing my best friend, I just couldn't use it because of the way it affected me. So, yes this chapter isn't as sad as it normally would be, but I figured you guys could use a break from all the sadness, and I just couldn't handle it myself. I'm sorry if this chapter isn't as good as you hoped, but believe me when I say that the next few chapters will be. I'm sorry if it disappointed you, but thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it, even if it wasn't as emotionally draining as planned. Thank you!

❤❤Christal