[modern au, dialogue-only]

"Sasuke dear, it's your turn to make dinner."

"Sakura, both of my arms have been broken—by you, by the way. You can make your own dinner."

"Now, now, I can't make dinner, either. I'm still high on painkillers from the jaw surgery—the one I had to get because of you."

"Put that cup down! If you're really so high, then you shouldn't be—and you dropped it. You dropped our brand new china teacup."

"Oops."

"Oops? This is not something you say 'oops!' to, Sakura! And, just for the record, this entire thing is your fault! If you hadn't—Sakura, what are you doing? Don't jam your finger into your throat!"

"I meant to point at myself. Oops. But—but how is this my fault?"

"You tried to rob that bank!"

"I've tried to rob many banks, Sasuke dear. Why are you mad at me now?"

"This is the first time I've been assigned to your case! Do you have any idea how hard it is to divert suspicion from what your real identity is? I'm pretty sure that half of the department now thinks I'm gay!"

"Are you?"

"Sakura, we are literally married."

"Oh. To who?"

"To each other!"

"Oh wow, I really lucked out, didn't I?"

"Sakura? Are you feeling—nope nope, chair's tilting backwards, chair's tilting backward, help help help—"

"I've got you, Sasuke dear! You really should be careful, silly, you might hurt yourself. Especially on those shards. How did they get there?"

"...I dropped my teacup."

"Teacup? But both your arms are broken!"

"Exactly."

"Ah, I see. Don't worry, Sasuke dear, I'll help you drink your tea!"

"Sakura, what are you doing? I really don't think that you should be standing up right now—come and sit back down."

"But I need to get the tea."

"I'm not thirsty anymore."

"Are you hungry? I can make some dinner."

"Ah, no, I'm fine. But Sakura, tell me, are you feeling alright?"

"So-so."

"In a good way, or...?"

"In a normal way. But the floor is moving. Which is not normal. So in a not-normal way?"

"Yes, right, Sakura, weren't you just going to sit down?"

"Was I?"

"Yep, you were just putting the tea set away after I dropped my teacup."

"Oh. Oh, sorry. I'll sit down now. Should I clean that mess up, Sasuke dear?"

"No, it's fine. We can do it tomorrow."

"But I can do it right—"

"Sakura, I want to talk to you."

"Why?"

"You...how are you doing?"

"Fine-ish. Why?"

"Nothing bad, right?"

"I'm not the one with both my arms broken, Sasuke dear."

"Well, yes, but you're the one who's high on pain meds, so..."

"Pain meds?"

"I punched you in the jaw, remember?"

"What? Why?"

"You were robbing a bank."

"The bank on Fifth Street?"

"That's the one."

"Oh. Wow, I've always wanted to rob that bank. How'd I do?"

"How do you think?"

"Well, I needed pain meds, but both of your arms are broken...based on the fact that we're still living in our tiny apartment, I'd say that it didn't end well?"

"I mean, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sakura, I don't stop you from stealing things, but that doesn't make it right. It's very wrong and stealing money from a bank is mean."

"Mean?"

"Very."

"But I want money."

"We have money."

"But I want more money."

"We can get more money by working a bit more. Besides, as you've once said, my family is 'loaded' and we can borrow some money whenever we want. But we'd have to pay it back."

"Um, okay. No stealing, only borrowing?"

"Are...are you actually agreeing with me, Sakura?"

"Yes."

"Oh...okay. Let me go make you some dinner."

"What?"

"It's a special occasion. You've just decided to give up your life of crime."

"Sasuke dear, your arms are both broken."

"...Oh yeah. No dinner tonight, I guess? I'm sorry."

"No, no, don't be sorry! Who needs food, anyway? We've got each other!"

"That's very sweet, Sakura."

"Mhm, mhm, come hold my hand!"

"I can't."

"Oh, right, sorry. Okay, maybe you can walk over to the couch and we can just snuggle?"

"Can you walk?"

"I can figure it out."

"Don't do it if you can't."

"Don't worry—see? I can walk. Come on, you're so slow!"

"Coming, coming—woah! Sakura! Don't just throw me onto the couch!"

"But I wanted to!"

"Ah, it was still scary."

"I'm sorry."

"None of that. Now, come on. I can't hold you today so I regret to inform you that you'll have to hold me."

"I can do that."

"I know you can."

"Hey, Sasuke dear?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

-

I hope you liked that dialogue-only bit of SasuSaku goodness. The basic premise is that Sasuke is a cop and Sakura is a criminal and Sakura is super chaotic while Sasuke is trying his best to keep her from getting into serious trouble. I wanted to flex my dialogue-only skills, so here we are. I can't tell if it's bad or whatever, so feel free to tell me whenever it seems janky.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this! See you next time!

SSSRHA2