"Did you know," Naruto says so suddenly that Sasuke pauses mid-hand seal, "that men are more likely to interact and have deeper conversations with women who wear red?"

Despite himself, Sasuke's eyes drift over to Sakura who, yes, was wearing her usual red outfit. He then looks back at Naruto. "And what does that have to do with anything?"

"I think you know exactly what that has to do with anything."

Sasuke stares at Naruto, somewhat disturbed by the completely serious look in his eyes. That said, Naruto's little fact sounded very professional. "Who told you that men are more attracted to women in red?"

"They're not. Men are just more likely to have a meaningful conversation with women in red. If the conversation goes well enough, then maybe they'll start to like each other." Naruto then gives Sasuke a pointed look before getting into a kata and continuing his training.

Sasuke, too startled to do anything, just nods absentmindedly and returns to his own work.

Naruto bites back a sigh.

-

"Did you know," Naruto says so suddenly that Sasuke almost chokes on his onigiri, "that women are more responsive to romantic stimuli after eating a meal than before?"

Against his will, Sasuke's eyes dart over to Sakura who had just finished her serving of umeboshi. Putting his onigiri down, Sasuke says, "And why did you find it prudent to tell me this?"

"I think you know exactly why I thought it was prudent to tell you this."

Sasuke's eyes narrow. "And where did you learn this random fact?"

"A little birdie told me." Again, there was that pointed look.

Sasuke stares at him, too irritated to think of a response. Finally, he decides to just pick up his onigiri and continue his meal.

Naruto once again bites back a sigh.

-

"Did you know," Naruto says so suddenly that Sasuke almost jumps, "that one of the most important factors in a relationship is how you celebrate your partner's good news?"

Sasuke unconsciously glances at Sakura, who had just revealed that she had been promoted to Special Jonin. All Sasuke had done was nod, not even breaking his stance. "And why have you brought that up now?"

"I think you know exactly why I brought it up."

Sasuke raises his eyebrow. "And where did you hear this random fact?"

"The library," Naruto replies without so much as a pause. He then gives Sasuke a pointed look.

Sasuke once again looks in the direction of Sakura, who is laughing brightly as some joke that Kakashi had made. Shaking his head, Sasuke re-enters his stance.

This time, Naruto really does sigh.

-

"Did you know," Naruto says as Sasuke grits his teeth, "that cuddling has the same neurological effect as painkillers?"

Sasuke, looking everywhere but his currently broken arm, hisses, "Now is not the time for this! Get Sakura so she can fix me!"

"I will, but I just thought that you should know."

"And who told you that piece of absolute trash advice?"

"My therapist." Sasuke pauses, not sure what to say to that. He then winces as another round of pain surges through him. Naruto's eyes widen. "Right, Sakura, on it!"

He then runs off as Sasuke starts to black out from the pain.

Some cuddles would be very nice right about now.

-

"Did you know," Naruto says as Sasuke inspects the Jonin jacket he had gotten, "that women find a man more attractive when he's being romantic and open about his feelings?"

"And where did that little outburst come from?"

"From a dear friend who thinks that you're miserable."

Sasuke rolls his eyes. "And where did you stumble across that little bit of gold?"

"In the Academy, actually. Some of the classes you never signed up for were very fascinating."

"I'm sure they were."

"So...give it a shot."

"No."

"Come on, you can do it."

Sasuke glances at Sakura. A small smile on his features, he turns away and hums. That's when a Chunin runs into the room.

"A group of rogue ninja was spotted in the southern forests! They eliminated the scout group!"

Tsunade stares. Then, a grin slowly makes its way onto her face. "Well, Team Seven...or should I say Squad Seven, looks like you've just got your first mission as Jonin."

Maybe Sasuke didn't ask Sakura out, Naruto muses, but they did get to absolutely destroy a rag-tag group of idiots who thought they could take on Konoha, so it was a good day.

-

"Did you know," Naruto says as Sasuke is about to walk away, "that they say women are more attracted to men with a sense of humor?"

Sasuke pauses. "Why tell me that?"

"To encourage you to break the mold."

Sasuke glances over at Sakura who was chatting animatedly with Kakashi. "And where did you hear that?"

"On the TV."

Sasuke glances at Sakura. "And you think it will work?"

Naruto blinks, a smile growing on his face. "Oh, definitely!"

"...you owe me big time for this, got that?"

"Why do I owe you when I'm the one who had to convince you to ask her out?!"

"Because it's common sense."

"No it's not!"

"Then I'm not going to do it." And Sasuke abruptly turns and stalks away, leaving Naruto gaping behind him.

What the heck just happened?!

-

"Did you know," Naruto says, his breaths coming in short gasps, "that not having a close friend is as detrimental to your health as smoking?"

Sasuke didn't answer, instead working frantically to staunch the blood that was flowing from the large wound on Naruto's stomach. Cultists, he thinks. How do a bunch of cultists somehow beat two of Konoha's best Jonin?

Sasuke probably has a few fractured ribs, judging from the pain in his chest, but he doesn't care. Not when Naruto is dying right in front of him.

"Sasuke, are you even listening to me?" Naruto's voice demands weakly.

Sasuke's arms tremble. "What does that have to do with Sakura?" he mumbles.

Naruto makes a big show of pouting. "Not everything is about you and your inability to suck it up and ask a girl out, you douchebag!" He then devolves into a coughing fit, blood leaking out of his mouth.

"Naruto," Sasuke says desperately, "just hang in there. I'll get us to Konoha and-"

"Hey, Sasuke, make sure that Konohamaru becomes a good Hokage, you got that?"

"Y-You're not dying, Naruto."

"Because," Naruto continues as if Sasuke hasn't said anything, "if he screws up then it'll stain my name, you know?"

"Shut up!" Sasuke snaps. "We'll get to Konoha and then you can scold Konohamaru yourself! Come on, I'm going to-" Sasuke tries to move, only to gasp at the sharp pain in his chest.

"No," Sasuke mumbles, "we're not dying here. You're not dying here. Just...just give me a minute to-"

"Sasuke," Naruto says quietly. Sasuke glances up. Naruto's arm is stretched out, folded into a fist. It wasn't pulled back, just there. Naruto stares at him expectantly.

Trembling, Sasuke brings up his fist and connects it to his.

"See you in the next life, Sasuke."

Naruto Uzumaki dies with a smile on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes.

-

"I never knew how sad it is," Sakura says quietly, "when someone you know becomes someone you knew."

And Sasuke clenches his hands into fists. "Shut up."

Kakashi just stares quietly at the grave they were standing in front of. There had been a funeral and many had come. But now they had gone, and the only ones left were Team Seven.

One member short. They would always be one member short.

Neither Sakura nor Kakashi says a thing when Sasuke falls to his knees. Or when Sasuke yells in rage at the sky, asking the gods what Naruto had done to deserve this. Or when Sasuke's screams devolve into quiet, agonizing sobs.

Kakashi doesn't move an inch, sensing that Sasuke wouldn't appreciate it. Sakura does, though. She walks up and kneels next to Sasuke. At first, she just stares. Then, slowly, her hand comes and rests on his head. She strokes his hair as Sasuke cries, still not saying a thing.

Eventually, Sasuke stops. His breaths even and he lies down on the ground, unmoving.

Kakashi sighs. "He fell asleep."

Sakura gives Kakashi a weak smile. "I'll take him home."

"Of course you will. I'll be here if you need me."

And Sakura knows that she should ask Kakashi to come with her and not let him hang around Naruto's grave the same way he does the Memorial Stone, but she can't bring herself to. Everyone grieves in different ways. Some cry at a funeral, some scream at the skies, and others...just mourn in silence.

"Naruto would be so irritated right now," she mutters.

Kakashi hums. "He would, wouldn't he?" But he does not move.

Sakura nods then puts Sasuke's arm over her shoulder, bringing him upright. "Bye, Kakashi-sensei."

"Take care of Sasuke."

"...I will."

-

"I never knew," Sakura says as she looks at the Hokage Mountain, "how majestic the Mountain looked. It's been right outside my window my whole life but it feels like I've only just truly seen it."

And Sasuke has to agree. In the moonlight, the Hokage Mountain looks ethereal. Sasuke sits on his bed, his knees drawn up to his chest, taking in the giant carvings that had inspired his late best-friend to work so hard. Sakura stands on the far side of his room, leaning against the wall.

"Why is your house so cold?" she asks suddenly.

"It's not cold," Sasuke murmurs.

"Yes, it is. It's freezing in here."

"Then take your leave, I'm not stopping you."

Sakura gives him a hard stare. "Naruto would probably yell at you for saying something like that."

"He would, wouldn't he?" Sasuke hums.

"He really would."

"...come on. I have a blanket."

"What about you?"

"I told you, I'm not cold."

And Sakura smiles. "Of course you're not." She walks over to the bed, climbs on, and wraps Sasuke's blanket around herself. The rest of the night is spent in silence.

When Sasuke wakes up, it's because of the sun shining on his face. He had fallen asleep with his head leaning against the wall. On the other side of the bed is Sakura, curled up in a ball under his blanket, the only identifiable by the bits of pink hair sticking out.

And Sasuke smiles.

-

"I never knew," Sakura says curiously, "that you hate sleeping outside."

"I don't."

"You do. I can tell."

"...fine. Maybe I do."

"How have you survived so many away-missions?" she asks joking. Then she stills. Her hands start trembling slightly. "N-Nevermind," she says. "Let's get this thing going. Unless you really like the thought of sleeping under the stars, we should set up these tents."

"Right," Sasuke mutters.

It was just the two of them in the woods.

Four, Sasuke thinks. There should be four of us. Kakashi retired from the ninja forces, claiming that he wanted to spend some more time on himself. Sasuke knows the truth, though. He sees the way Kakashi stares at Sakura and him sometimes, like they're the most precious things in the world and he's ashamed that he made them without the ability to protect them.

Sasuke thinks that he must have always felt that way. He remembers seeing the same look on Kakashi's face when Team Seven was still a Genin team. Naruto's death just intensified those feelings.

And, of course, Naruto was dead. So Sakura and Sasuke were left alone in the woods with only the strength of their bond and the shadows of memory.

"Remember that demon Ostrich? Condor, I think," Sakura says.

"I remember Kakashi electrocuting us."

"Mhm. Naruto was so mad..."

"So was the Ostrich."

"Who wouldn't be mad?"

"Lee, maybe. He'd take it as a challenge, or maybe a way to increase pain tolerance."

"Yep, that sounds like Lee," Sakura chuckles.

And there were no more words exchanged. Every night spent together always ended like this. Sasuke loved it, though, because the silence was a comfortable one.

Besides, whenever they talked, their conversations felt empty without a third voice breaking in.

-

"Did you know," an eerily familiar voice said, "that before sleeping, ninety-three percent of your mind starts to imagine stuff that you wish would happen?"

Sasuke bolts up, panting, his eyes darting around frantically. Finally, he sees it. Or, rather, him.

"N-Naruto..."

"Heh, finally awake, are you?"

"But you're dead!"

"Yep."

"How are you here?!"

"How should I know?"

Sasuke stares at him. "You're a hallucination, aren't you? I guess I've gone insane."

"Who said you were ever sane?"

Sasuke just ignores him and lies back down, pulling the blanket over his head.

"Hey, are you sleeping?! I'm trying to talk to you here! Maybe give you some valuable life advice!" Sasuke doesn't move an inch. "Fine. I know you're listening, though, so I'll just keep talking." Please don't. "I'm happy. I mean, being dead sucks and stuff, but at least you're not completely heartbroken or anything. If you were, I might have had to slap some sense into you. Kakashi, though, is in way too deep. Do me a favor and slap him for me, got that?" Silence. "I've chosen to interpret your silence as 'Of course Lord Naruto, anything you say!' Now...Sakura's apparently happy, so you're doing something right. However, before I disappear or something, let me tell you this: if you come to the Pure Lands without having kissed her at least once, you will be in for a world of pain!" Sasuke refuses to answer the crazy voice in his head.

"Fine, be that way! But seriously, ask her out, okay? I'm tired of seeing you two dance around each other in some awkward, demented...dance. Yes, let's go with that."

Finally, Sasuke says, "Why are you so dead-set on me asking Sakura out?"

"...because I want you to be happy. Sakura, too. And, well, what's a better way than to fall in love? Also, was that pun intentional?"

Sasuke cracks his eye open and stares at Naruto. Or, rather, where Naruto was. The spot was empty now, and the only other person there was Sakura.

"I've gone insane," Sasuke mutters.

"Hm..." Sakura mumbles. "I'm sure you have, Sasuke. Please go to sleep now." She then turns and starts snoring once again.

Sasuke stays still. Love, huh?

Maybe I'm not as insane as I think.

-

"Did you know," Sasuke says so suddenly that Sasuke freezes in her sleeping bag, "that I love you?"

Sakura slowly relaxes. "And how did you figure that out?"

"A hallucination."

And Sakura laughs because that was such a Naruto thing to say that it hurt, but the sentiment was such a Sasuke thing that she knew it was true.

"Well," she finally manages to get out, "you want to hear a fun fact?"

"What is it?" Sasuke asks curiously.

"I love you, too."

And maybe they were missing a member, but Sasuke and Sakura loved each other, so maybe...everything would be okay.

the end

-

[out-take: A scene that had promise but never made it into the actual one-shot]

"I never knew," Sakura says to Sasuke, "that Naruto owned so many things."

Sasuke doesn't even glance at her, just continues to stare blankly at all the items that he now owned. Naruto, apparently, had been an avid collector of oddly interesting knick-knacks, and in his will, he had left nearly all of his items to Team Seven, to be divided equally among them.

The things Sasuke had inherited included, among many things, a book written in a language that doesn't exist, an assortment of posters for a movie that was never made, and a few cassette tapes that played nothing but eerie music made by a shamisen.

Sakura was currently holding one of her trinkets: the left sock of the first Kazekage's nephew.

"Neither did I." Sasuke pauses. "Where's Kakashi?"

"He refused to come. I'll bring him his stuff later."

"I'll help."

"Thank you, Sasuke."

"Thank you, Sakura."

Sakura blinks and stares at him in surprise, opening her mouth to question what he was thanking her for. He disappears in a flurry of leaves before she can, though.

---

Hi, I'm a new writer for the group and I hope that I've made a good first impression. This one-shot was a bit experimental (it's the first time that I've tried writing in the present tense) and I hope that it worked out. And stuff. Yeah, I'll stop now. I hope that you've had an amazing day and, if not, I hope tomorrow's a better one. Until next time! SSSRHA2