Sakura Haruno closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. Our Heavenly Father who art in Heaven, please freaking kill me.

Sasuke flits around her nervously. "Are you alright? It can't be that bad—"

"Well I'm sorry, but you're not the one gushing blood from your nether regions so I don't think you're the authority on whether or not this is bad."

Sasuke winces. "Oh." He continues to stand next to Sakura, who is currently sitting down on her knees, her hands bunched up and pressed into her abdomen. As a thirteen-year-old orphan boy, Sasuke finds himself at a complete loss about what to do. "Should I get Kakashi-sensei—"

"No," she says. "Can you...go get my pack?"

"Where is it?"

"In the corner over there." He can hear the pain laced through her voice and it only makes him more clumsy.

"Is it—"

"Yes, it's that one."

The pack is retrieved and Sasuke almost places it next to Sakura and leaves, but he realizes that Sakura seems a bit preoccupied with trying not to puke. "What do you need from it? I can get it for you."

"You...you will? That's a girl's bag you're gonna go through."

"Do you not want me to? I'll—"

"Pain killers," Sakura says hoarsely, groaning slightly. "Get me the pain killers."

"On it." It's not easy to ignore Sakura's form rocking back and forth next to him, but he manages to find the pain killers fairly quickly. He pauses for a second after handing them to her. Really, he probably isn't the best person to be here. He'd been out to go to the bathroom when he'd heard a soft but intense cry of anguish from Sakura's tent and, of course, he'd immediately come to her aid, only to find her silently cursing her own abdomen.

A fact to know about Sasuke Uchiha: he is an orphan, but he is not an idiot (unlike certain other people). So, when he found her, he had come to two conclusions: either she somehow got a severe stomach ache or, more likely, she got her period. Still, as much common sense as Sasuke has, he is also not someone who can provide much help for Sakura—unless knocking her out was considered help. Aside from him, there are three other people within a fifty-foot radius: Tazuna—who it would be indecent to go to for help—Naruto—who Sasuke doubts even knows what a period is—or Kakashi—who would probably make it a bit awkward for Sakura but, well, he's a better option than a thirteen-year-old boy.

"I think I should get Kakashi-sensei." He states it plainly, expecting Sakura to recognize that this is the best course of action.

Instead, Sakura curls a bit more in on herself and repeats, "No."

"But you'd be much better off—"

"I said no."

Recognizing it as something Sakura is not going to budge on, Sasuke relents. "Is there anything else you need from me?"

"I..."

Silence reigns over them. Sasuke, as impatient as ever, glances towards the tent's exit. "If there's nothing, then I need to—"

"Don't go."

Sasuke blinks. "Did you think of something?"

"I," Sakura seems to flounder for a moment, "...need you to stay here until the pain killers kick in. In case I need more."

"I could leave it open for you."

"The smell makes me nauseous."

Sasuke scrunches his nose. "They make a smell?"

He goes to open the box, but Sakura stops him with a desperate shout of, "Don't! I don't want to throw up."

"Oh." Sasuke lets his hands fall back to his side. "Right." And they are once again engulfed in awkward silence. "How long do you think it will take?"

"I don't know," Sakura says miserably. "My cramps have never been this bad before..."

Sasuke accepts the answer and just scoots over to the other side of the tent. Legs crossed, he sits there, facing slightly away from her. "I'll be here if you need anything."

Sakura smiles at him weakly, but sincerely. "Thank you."

Sasuke bites back a You're the one who wanted me here and just smiles back.

(In the morning, Kakashi finds Sakura sleeping in an awkward, curled position on the floor, and Sasuke sleeping in an even more awkward position, sitting up straight. He decides not to mention it.)

.

.

.

Sasuke Uchiha obediently hands his wife some chocolate, which she snatched up from his hands. "How'd you know?"

"You seemed like you were on your period."

"What do you mean?"

Sasuke shrugs and settles down next to her on the sofa, a jutsu scroll still open in his hands. "You just seemed like you were on your period."

"Like, my attitude?"

Sasuke seems to consider this. "No. You're acting about the same as always."

"What's the giveaway?"

"I don't know. I can just tell." Sakura squints at him, but Sasuke doesn't look up from the scroll, instead asking, "How has work been going?"

"Not well, but what do you mean you can 'just tell'?"

"You're just...I don't even know how to explain it."

"No," Sakura says, "you are not getting away from me this time. Even when we were still Genin, you'd always get me chocolate or ice cream when I was on my period! I mean, sometimes you were a few days off, but still! It's weird."

Sasuke finally looks up and frowns. "I thought they were supposed to happen on a consistent schedule?"

"Well, yes, but that's not what I meant. Wait, you keep track of when I have my period? Sasuke...that's weird."

Sasuke scowls. "I don't. I just remember."

Sakura stares at him blankly before sighing. "Stupid prodigies and their stupid amazing memories."

"How mean."

They sit in a comfortable silence, Sasuke reading his scroll and Sakura eating her chocolate while reading the scroll over his shoulder. Then, quietly, Sakura says, "Love you."

Sasuke smiles and replies with a phrase that he's finally gotten the hang of saying. "I love you, too."

fin

-

Omake:

"Stupid prodigies and their stupid amazing memories."

"How mean." They sit in a comfortable silence, Sasuke reading his scroll and Sakura eating her chocolate while reading the scroll over his shoulder. Then, suddenly, Sasuke asks, "Wait, today's October twenty-first, right?"

"Yeah," Sakura mutters disinterestedly.

"Isn't today Mizuki-sensei's birthday?"

Sakura pauses. "Who?"

"You know, the assistant instructor to Iruka-sensei when we were in the Academy? Didn't he go rogue and try to kill Naruto or something?"

"Oh, wow, you're right. You actually remember his birthday?"

"I've known his birthday since the day we met him."

"I don't remember you ever giving him a present."

"I never did. Just because I knew when his birthday was didn't mean that I was going to celebrate it. I don't know how you haven't noticed by now, but I was not a nice kid."

"...Fair enough."

-

Guess who went through a massive spell of writer's block? Me, that's who. And I was on Tumblr yesterday reading a bunch of posts about why periods shouldn't be shunned as a Bad Thing(tm) and that boys should be taught about them and I figured "why not write a fic about it?" So here we are.

Anyway, see you next month!

- SSSRHA2