j a i m e e

+

Tonight was date night. Shayden had spent the last hour grocery shopping while I practically cried from the lack of attention.

We're finally leaving when we hear a voice behind us, Shayden finishes putting our shopping bags into the trunk of his car.

"Shay!"

We turn around as Taylor jogs over to us, Shayden's eyebrows furrow.

"Hey, man. You good?

"You were asking about Cameron last week so I did some digging."

I tense up at the name, the resurfacing memories of that night hitting me like a hurricane. The anxiety, dread, fear.

As much as I didn't want it to be true, I knew what Taylor was going to say next. I fucking knew it.

"He's been in prison for the past three years apparently." Taylor looks solemn, like he can't believe the words he's saying.

"Oh?" Shayden cocks an eyebrow, seeming just as surprised as Taylor was.

"Yeah, Libbie was told he had sex with someone and they cried rape. Apparently anyways." The way Taylor says it tells me straight away that he doesn't believe a word of it. "I just remembered so I thought I should let you know. See you both later."

Taylor walks off, leaving both Shay and me alone.

He's looking at me. I can feel it with every sense in my body. No matter how much comfort his black eyes bring me, I can't find it within myself to look at him. I can't. I can't face it.

Cameron was our best friend. He was everything to us. Shayden and him were basically brothers, which made the ordeal so difficult to deal with. I couldn't keep quiet, that was never even considered. Because what if I wasn't the first? Or what if I didn't speak out and he did it again? I couldn't do that, I couldn't hold that much responsibility.

But I couldn't tell Shayden. Absolutely not. A part of me knew he would have defended me and stuck with me no matter what. He's a good man. But that minuscule part of my brain told me he'd believe Cam, he'd side with him. I couldn't lose him through that, so I decided I wouldn't.

"Cameron?" Shayden whispers, yet it sounds more like a hiss. He raises his voice, "Cameron?!"

Tears fill my eyes, a lump forming in my throat that renders me unable to speak. I try to blink them away but the pain won't leave.

"Cameron." Shayden snarls, beginning to pace. "That stupid motherfuc-FUCK!" He slams his fist into the car, the sound makes me flinch back.

He notices instantly, our gazes locking. The anguish and torment prominent in his feature hurts me somewhere I can't place. I never wanted him to find out at all, nevermind like this.

"I'm sorry." I blurt out, "Shay, I'm so sorry. I.-" I begin to stutter, cutting myself off and taking a deep breath in a bit to stop my body shaking.

"Don't." He silences me, putting two fingers on the bridge of his nose as he tries to steady his breathing. "None of this is your fault, Jai. Don't you dare apologize."

I bite my tongue, preventing myself from apologizing any further.

"Come here." He mutters, wrapping his arms around me as he completely shrinks into my arms. Tightening his grip as he leans his head into the crook of my shoulder. "I love you. I've got you."

"I love you too, Shay."

+++

"It's been a long day."

Shayden pulled me into a hug, his embrace just as tender as always as his arms wrapped around my frame. I closed my eyes, cheek against the area just below his chest as I lost myself in his familiar cologne and touch. I felt his lips press to the top of my head before he rested his cheek against it, and I sank into his hug, into him.

He rubbed his hand up and down my back soothingly, the two of us standing in a comfortable silence before he murmured, "Dinner will be ready soon. Let me sort out our drinks."

I smiled as we pulled away. My heart was thrumming happily, for once, instead my chest, eyes alight at the carefree expression on Shayden's face. It was definitely a stark contrast to how he'd been just a few hours ago.

Shayden pours himself a glass of wine before laying out another glass, "What do you want to drink? I have bottled water, soda, col-"

"I'll have wine too, if that's okay." I request timidly, despite the fact I just asked for something that I've not had in years.

His eyebrows shoot up, obviously surprised by my request. "Of course that's okay. But..Are you sure? You don't have to. If you don't feel comfortable being around me drinking too then I can have a soda or someth-"

"You're cute." I laugh, reaching over and squeezing his cheek between my index finger and my thumb. "I miss drinking. I want to see what it's like and what's the harm in having a glass with my boyfriend?"

"Your boyfriend?" Shayden's infamous smirk tattoos his face, "I think I like the sound of that."

"I like the sound of that too." I peck his lips, "Since when did you drink wine?"

He shrugs, "I like it sometimes. I'm making us your Mom's infamous curry."

Surprised, my eyebrows raised as my lips unconsciously tugged up. Shayden was the only other person aside from my mother who could master that dish, and I hadn't had it since a few weeks before our breakup.

He chuckled at my amazed expression as he clinked his glass with mine before we both took a sip. I tried not to smile against the rim of the glass but it proved practically impossible.

"I can't wait." I hummed eventually, leaning against the counter as Shayden continued with the food preparation. "Can I help?"

"That's not a good idea, baby girl." Shayden laughs, shaking his head.

The last time I tried to help him prepare my Mom's dish, half the kitchen ended up in flames and we ended up at a 24 hour McDonalds in Boston.

"Hey!" I exclaim. I hopped up onto the cleared space on the counter, crossing my ankles as I watched him make our dinner. Music from his Alexa played softly throughout the apartment, ranging from Nickleback to Fall Out Boy. I gently swayed my head to the music, enjoying drinking my wine. "At least I'm not as bad as Taylor."

"No ones as bad as Taylor." Shayden remarks, eyebrows raised. His gaze stayed on the stove while an amused grin tattooed itself onto his lips. "I'd genuinely worry for his health if he didn't still live with his parents."

"Boy can't even make toast. He makes me worry for mankind."

We made light conversation until the dinner was ready. I talked about my job at the Elementary School, about how I loved working with the little kids and couldn't until I was working full time. While Shayden spoke about what he was learning in College, but he dumbed it down a bit because he knew I couldn't keep up with his extensive knowledge.

"Do you remember when we were that cheesy couple who took every single bath together?" I laugh, the wine finally taking a toll on my mentality. "God, we were awful."

Shayden's face molds into this perfect expression, his lips tugging up until he looks like he's got baby fat on his cheeks. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Trying to hold back my smile, I nod my head and stand up from the table. "Come on."

I hold my hand out and he takes it with acquiesce as I pull us into the bathroom, turning the tap on and squirting the bubble bath into the tub.

"The foods going to get cold." Shay whines but I could tell he wasn't truly concerned about the food.

"So?"

We giggle, falling into each other's arms as our lips capture one anothers. His tongue dives into my mouth as his fingers run through my hair, smiling into the kiss.

When we finally separate, he works on stopping the water from overflowing while I tug my hair up into a high, messy bun. Once I turn around, I notice how Shayden's hesitating as he stands tall in his boxers.

It doesn't take me a second to discard my own shirt and jeans, my eyebrows furrow. "Shayden?"

"Is this okay?" He asks, looking at me in concern. "Are you comfortable with this? I don't want you to rush into anything you're not ready for because of the wine or because you think I want too."

My heart softens, the corner of my lips turning up unconsciously as my entire body is just submerged in the level of love and appreciation that I have for this boy.

"I want to do this." My hands gently find his hips, slipping into the waistband of his boxers. "I trust you and I love you."

He nods his head, stepping out of his boxers and stepping into the tub. I do the same, removing my panties and bra, and following him in until I'm opposite to him. He commands for Alexa to play some random playlist quietly, passing me the bottle of wine that he brought into the bathroom with us.

Our legs tangled together under the water. By now, most of our entire bodies are covered in bubbles and I can't help but admire how effortlessly flawless his skin is. The white bubbles seem so natural against his dark skin, highlighting the ink peeking out against his skin and the black pools of his eyes.

Shayden's cheeks somehow flush as he notices me admiring him, diverting his gaze away from mine as I start to giggle.

"You're so beautiful." I mutter, eyes fluttering as I notice the surprise in his eyes.

"Come over here," He says, opening his legs and arms. I shuffle over to him, the water sloshing a bit over the edge of the tub but I don't care as my back finds his chest. His legs tighten around me, lips sweetly trailing up my jaw and he begins to press kisses to my cheek.

"Fuck, Jai." He mumbles, wrapping his arms around my waist and not even reacting when his skin brushes against my breasts. "You drive me insane. You're fuckin' amazing."

Reminiscence hits me, leaving me breathless for a split second as memories flash through my mind. We used to do this all the time. Shayden suggested it because I'd always tried to hide my body whenever we had sex, and it was an opportunity for me to become comfortable around him without the whole 'get over your insecurities' trope. But out of everywhere we went and everything we did, the times when we were just alone together always brought us closer to one another. It was so much more intimate and considerate than sex or cuddling. We were together; surrounded by our own laughter and baking in one another's company.

"Are you still okay with this?" Shayden whispers, having noticed my prolonged silence. "Ja-"

"I'm okay." I reassure him, placing my hand over one of his and squeezing it. Spinning my head around, I ensure our eyes are locked as my next works slip out. "I'm happy, Shay."

His lips tug up unconsciously, "I'm happy too, Mendoza. So, so happy."

"I used to hate these when we first did them." The admission is probably the result of the alcohol consumption. It seems too easy to admit for it to have been me, and it's been too long since I last drank for it to have no influence. "I was always waiting for you to dump me after seeing a part of me that you didn't like."

Shayden doesn't say anything for a few moments, continuing just running his fingers over the baby hair on my neck. "I wish you could see yourself from my perspective, as corny and cheesy as it sounds. You're perfect, Jaimee. Every part of you is so beautiful and amazing and I never understood how someone as incredible as you was with me."

I don't say anything, all my self doubts screaming arguments against his words in my mind. So he continues.

"On that day when I met you properly, I just remember being petrified and humiliated. I couldn't fight against them all and there were so many people and no one helped me. And then suddenly this small, stunning girl that I'd only seen in the front of my classes or across the corridor was beside me, fists clenched and ready for war. My angel in shining armour. Since that day, I hated telling people how we met because instead of me saving the Princess, the Princess saved me. But I wouldn't have it any other way." He nuzzles his head in my hair, inhaling deeply. "When I look at you, I see strength and beauty and everything I've ever dreamed of. My past, my present and my future. The only person I've ever loved with every ounce of my being, the only person I've ever trusted to be around my Mom. And she loved you so much and that meant everything to me."

"You're going to make me cry."

"Happy tears I hope." He snuggles his head into the crook of my shoulder. "You make me better. I love you."

"I love you." I whisper back. The smile on my face feels light but, beside Shayden, it feels like it belongs. "You saved me too."