I only ever wrote letters to the ocean, the stars and you - Ariana
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I sat on the sofa, clutching a cup of coffee, anxiously nibbling at my nails. Baba occupied the seat across from me, engrossed in his newspaper, his patience evident as he awaited the pizza delivery. He hadn't inquired about the conversation I wanted to have, preferring to let me ease into it first.

"What's on your mind, Saahiba?" He finally asks keeping the paper aside.

"You remember, Arin right?" I said looking down at the coffee cup. Dumb question to ask, he remembers.

Baba furrows his eyebrows as he nods slowly. "Yes, I remember. What about him?"

I swallowed hard before continuing "Remember I told you that my company is hiring some senior and junior editors. So Arin has started today as one of the senior editor" I said.

Baba's eyes widen in surprise, as he gives me his undivided attention "I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you Saahiba. Seeing him again, working with him..." He says softly.

"However, remember you are strong and whatever choices were made in the past were right for you. You can handle this and always know this that I am here for you". He adds, as he moves a little further in his wheelchair. I manage to give him a weak smile feeling a bit relieved.

"Thank you, Baba." I feel incredibly fortunate to have him in my life. He is one of the best person I know and he understands me so much, and have always supported me no matter what. When Arin and I decided we should take a break —or rather, when Arin unilaterally chose that we shouldn't go through with our wedding—Baba stood by me, even when the rest of our family was less than thrilled with the decision.

The doorbell rings, signaling the pizza delivery's arrival.

Setting the pizza boxes on the table, I inquire, "So, how did your therapy go today, Baba?"

"It went well," Baba responds. "You know Nikhil always ensures that he challenges me just enough without causing any harm." Baba adores Nikhil. He is our neighbor also Baba's physiotherapist.

The following morning, I awoke with a sense of dread since I had a meeting with all the editors and I knew it would be difficult to face Arin again.

When does someone move on from someone, I wonder? When does love end for someone? When do you come to terms with the fact that this person is not right for me and that I should move on? For me, even after three and a half years, I still can't get over Arin, the feelings he gave me, or our connection. We always tried to improve our relationship, but something always seemed to get in the way. I won't say that our relationship was flawless; it had it's ups and downs but something was always missing or getting in the way.

Arin being distant at times, his family treating him like he was a bad person really put a strain on our relationship and we both were naive. I vividly remember when he uttered those words, saying we would eventually come to despise each other . He believed that our relationship and we were capable of eroding all the good in us and about us, and I didn't wanted to believe any of it that time but Arin made sure that I believe all of it and embrace to end our relationship.

In the end, he was not willing to give us a chance, particularly in the wake of happened with his parents.  However, I do blame them making him a bad person in their perspective and everyone else's.

"Saahiba," I heard Meher's voice echoing from my living room.

"What brings you here?" I asked, rushing outside to meet her.

"I came to give you a lift," she said, handing me a cup of coffee. I couldn't help but appreciate her and the coffee.

"Give me five minutes," I responded, returning to my room to don a black sweater, considering the unpredictable weather in Bangalore.

"Travel safely, girls, and please text me once you both arrive," Baba said, handing me an apple.

Meher occasionally picks me up on special occasions, often when she wants to discuss something before work or visit Nikhil.

"Where's your charming neighbor?" she asked. I had expected this.

"Meher, stop being a stalker," I chided her.
"Nikhil will be coming later in the afternoon. He had some morning appointments."

"Anyway, I heard Arin is on your team," Meher dropped the statement casually.

"Yeah, can we not discuss it?" I sighed. I'd confided in Meher about Arin, as she was my only close friend in the area. My college friends had mostly been mutual friends with Arin, making it awkward to maintain those relationships while we were going through our breakup. Their incessant curiosity about our personal lives didn't help either.

"By the way, are you ever going to ask Nikhil out on a date?" Meher never ceased her matchmaking efforts. Just last week, she'd insisted I exchange numbers with a random guy we met at a cafe, though our date hadn't gone well.

"Never," I admitted. The truth was, I lacked the courage to ask Nikhil out. What if he had a girlfriend? What if he simply wasn't interested in me? The professional nature of our relationship also posed a challenge, given that my father was his patient; it felt inappropriate to ask my doctor out on a date.

•••••

I checked my calendar which was kinda filled with meetings and other tasks for the day, I also have to conduct second round of interview with one of the candidate today. I also have a meeting with the finance team to discuss the budget, and with the marketing team. Oh God! I really need an assistant to handle some things for me.

A knock on the door made me jump in my chair. It was a new junior editor Alizeh.

"Hi. Do you have a moment? I'd like to discuss about the manuscript I am working on." She says softly.

"Of course, Alizeh. Have a seat" I invited her in.

"So, I have been making some progress with this manuscript, but I'm running into a few issues that I thought you could help me with" Alizeh says nervously.

"Sure. What seems to be the problem?" I asked leaning in, and closing my laptop.

Alizeh flips through the pages and continues worriedly "the author's writing is really strong, but there are few inconsistencies in the plot that I can't seem to resolve. It's almost like the characters' motivations are unclear, and some scenes don't seem to fit together". She explains.

"Inconsistencies can be tricky, but they're not uncommon, especially with early drafts. Have you tried mapping out the plot and characters arcs on a timeline?" I replied pensively. Alizeh nods with a hint of frustration on her face. I completely understand her situation I have faced similar things when I started as a Junior Editor.

Alizeh replied looking at the manuscript defeatingly "Yes, I've done that, but still I can't figure out how to make everything align properly. It's like I'm missing a piece of puzzle."

"Don't worry, Alizeh. That's a common feeling when working on complex manuscripts. Sometimes it takes time and multiple revisions to iron out the kinks. Let's start by identifying the core elements of the story and the character motivations. Once we have a solid foundation, it'll be easier to restructure the plot" I explain.

Taking a notepad and pen we settle down on the couch in my cabin.

"Let's begin by discussing the main characters and their goals. What do you think is driving them in the story?" I continued.

She starts explaining the characters and their motivations, and after having a productive discussion for an hour she left. By the time I was done it was time for the interview.

I arranged my glasses, letting Rhea in, a well dressed young woman, probably in her mid twenties. "Good afternoon, Ms. Saahiba. Thank you for seeing me today" She greets, extending her hand.

"Good afternoon Rhea. Please have a seat".

I start the interview asking about her experience, her qualifications. And seeing her interest to work in a publishing reminds me so much of myself, I might consider hiring her.

"Well, Rhea, thank you for sharing your experiences and aspirations. We'll be in touch with our decision soon" I said.

Surprisingly everything was going smoothly so far. Now, all I have to do is get through the meeting with the editors and then I can leave early because I have to take Baba out today as promised to him last week.

I set off for lunch, sending a quick message to Meher on the way there. While I was making my way to the elevator, I encountered Alizeh. "Hey, Saahiba," she greeted me.

"Hello, Alizeh. Are you heading out for lunch?" I inquired. She nodded in confirmation.

"Would you like to join me for lunch?" I suggested, seeing an opportunity for some team bonding.

"Uh, sure, okay," she replied with a friendly smile.

"I and my friend Meher are eating in the cafeteria," I informed her as I pressed the button for the 4th floor.

Meher was already waiting in the cafeteria when we arrived. "What's up?" she exclaimed.

"Meher, this is Alizeh, a very talented Junior Editor on my team, and Alizeh, this is Meher, my equally talented friend," I introduced them.

We settled down near the floor to ceiling windows, I like to stare outside.

"So, are we going out tonight?" Meher asked. Shit! I had completely forgotten to inform Meher about my dinner plans with Baba.

"No, I promised Baba I will take him out today". I said giving Meher a sheepish smile.

"It's cool. We can go tomorrow. It's the weekend anyway." She exclaims.

"Why don't you join us Alizeh?" Meher asks.

"Uh I don't think so" She says softly. "Alizeh, I would suggest say yes now because Meher will make you say yes anyway, she can be really persuasive" I said.

We finished our lunch and went back to work.

It was time for the meeting, grabbing my laptop I went to the conference room. Raghav was already there exchanging some pleasantries with them I settle down. Slowly everyone walked in. Arin did too.

He had a look of disdain on his face.

"Thank you all for joining this meeting. We have an exciting project to discuss today. Saahiba, would you like to present your ideas?" Raghav addresses.

I stand up, readying myself to give the presentation. Then I noticed Arin rolling his eyes at me. Ignoring that I continued "Thank you Raghav. I've been working on a proposal for our upcoming series of historical fiction novels".

"I see the genre's enduring appeal and potential for success. The idea is to weave engaging historical narratives with contemporary themes, creating a unique reading experience that resonates with a wide audience" I said, and continued to mention about the manuscript Alizeh is already working on.

Arin interrupts saying "well I think you can't turn back time and make things work". Sarcasm dripping from his tone as always.

"You are right Arin, we can't go back in time and make things work but the least we could do is try and make things easier together" I replied, trying to keep my cool. I don't know what is he trying to pull here.

Raghav brought out some more points to discuss in the meeting before dismissing he asked me to stay back.

"Is everything alright between you and Arin?" Raghav asks.

"Oh yes, we just don't see eye to eye on some ideas that is all" I replied trying to fake my laugh as much as I could because I don't want Raghav to sense anything that might be a problem for me and Arin as well.

"Cool. Let me know if someone on the team is bothering you" Raghav says and leaves.

I went outside and found Arin leaning against the wall. "You really are something Saahiba. Always dreaming, aren't you?" He sounds so cynical.

"I believe in aiming high and pushing boundaries, Arin. It's how we grow and innovate in our industry" I replied sincerely to which he chuckles dismissively.

"That's your problem, you know. You are too naive. I guess that's why things didn't work out between us" He says in condescending manner.

"At least I'm not lying to myself or to others" I said confidently.

"And Arin, the next time you try to undermine me just remember I'm your boss" I said, before walking away and I could tell he was frustrated.

I read somewhere that let it hurt until it can't hurt anymore. But when does this end?

Arin has become so bitter towards me, I had never imagined this for myself. I do not know what happened to him in these years because no matter how hard I tried he kept me at bay, he always kept me at distance.

The memory of our fights still stings, like a fresh wound. Tears filling my eyes I hate to be vulnerable but that is all I had been since he ruined everything good between us, and even now he is adamant to let it all go to ruins whatever has left between us. I don't know how someone can be so bitter.

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What is up guys?

Hope you liked the chapter. I am trying my best here. Please share your thoughts on the rewritten version.

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