(a/n) i changed the chapter names. also i figured out that listening to panic! at the disco helps me write this
—

"I hate this," Alex groaned, burying his face in John's shoulder. The two of them sat in the backseat of the car Alex was pretty sure was stolen. His head was pounding and his vision was pounding. He couldn't believe that he was now a criminal, with driving while impaired and underaged drinking.

John chuckled, rubbing his back. "You'll be alright. It's just a little hangover."

"Not just that. I mean all of this." Alex pulled away to look at him straight in the eyes. He bit his lip, glancing down at his hands before back up at John. "I want to go home."

"But then who will I spend the rest of my life with?" He protested, grabbing Alex's hand. "Please don't leave me."

"Listen, John. You're an amazing person, but you're a terrible influence. I was a perfect law abiding citizen before I met you. Now look at me!" Alex pointed at his messy hair. "I haven't brushed my hair or changed my clothes since Sunday! I miss Eliza, and even if it means my heart breaking every second of every day, I want to see her. She's still my best friend."

John looked down, chewing the inside of his cheek. Alexander was his only friend now, and he couldn't lose that to a girl who'd just hurt him. He had a strong connection with Alex, and surely it wasn't one sided. He wouldn't have stayed with a murderer if he didn't somewhat enjoy his company, so why was he leaving? The life they were living now was better than whatever Alex had a week ago.

"Alex, please-"

"What I want you to do is drive me home. School starts in two hours, and I want to be there for it. Please, John. If you want, I can visit you on the weekends. You're still my friend, and probably the only reason I haven't been kidnapped or turned to prostitution."

John looked away. "Fine. I'll take you home, but I'm picking you up after school, okay? I don't want to never see you again."

"You'd do that?" Alex smiled, squeezing John's hand. "I don't think I'm ready to face my parents, so that would be great."

"Why not?" John shrugged, glancing out the window. He hated that Alex was leaving so soon. He really, really thought that he was more to Alex than just a source of protection. It crushed his heart.

"Thank you so much." Alex smiled at him, wrapping his arms around him. "For everything, really. You've been such an amazing and caring friend, and wow. I never thought I'd say that about someone who killed people."

John closed his eyes, hugging the shorter boy back. He absolutely despised how torn up he was getting over this. Couldn't he just have one nice thing without it being taken from him? Alex was the only person he wanted to be around right now. Besides, wasn't John the one who helped him get through Eliza turning him down?

He crawled into the front seat, starting the car. He noticed his subtle frown in the rear view mirror, which somehow made him more upset. Instead of letting himself dwell on the moment, he slammed his foot onto the pedal and drove towards the place he and Alexander had initially met. In front of the old and rundown bakery.

Alex gazed out the window, wondering how everything would play out. What would Eliza say? Would she reveal her true feelings, or would it go back to normal? He wouldn't be totally distraught if they forgot about the whole situation, but he was really praying for the first option. He'd much rather end up with a girlfriend than a bestie.

He snapped out of his trance when the car came to a sudden stop. Alex stepped out of the car, thanking John for the ride, then headed off towards his house. He knew damn well he'd have to be stealthy, since he didn't want to face his parents just yet. He just needed to get in, grab some clothes and cologne, and catch the bus. It was probably easier said than done, but he didn't care. Worse case scenario, he could use being late to school as an excuse to get out of a lecture.

He ran in the direction of his house, nearly getting hit by a car, but managing to make it to the front steps of their small home. He took a deep breath and pushed open the door, noticing his mother staring at him from the kitchen. He probably should've put more thought into this, but whatever. He'd just have to face the consequences.

"Alexander James Hamilton!" She rushed over to hug him. "You had me worried sick! God, are you okay?" She pulled away, gripping his shoulders and giving him a long gaze before hugging him again. "Washington said he saw you, and told your father and I not to worry since you're independent, but still! Where the heck were you?"

"I was fine, mom." He smiled softly, relieved to have someone caring about him. "I just had to get away from reality for a bit. Nothing too weird."

She sighed. "I'll tell James you're back. Meanwhile, you can go shower. You smell like-"

"I get it," Alex chuckled, heading down the hallway to the bathroom. He stripped, throwing his clothes onto the bathroom floor and slid into the shower. After washing his hair and brushing through the tangles and knots with tears in his eyes, he stepped out and grabbed the nearest towel. Alex stood in front of the mirror, preparing something to say to Eliza.

I'm sorry for making you feel like shit.

That seemed a little too straightforward, and Alex had already learned that got him nowhere. Besides, if Eliza hadn't felt bad about this, he'd look like a fool.

Hey, I'm back. Did you miss me?

He stuck his tongue out at himself. He could do better than that, couldn't he? After a few moments of him being lost in thought, he decided he could just wing it. That had been his life for the past few days, and he was totally fine with it.

With a towel wrapped around his waist, he left the bathroom and headed to his room to get dressed. He noticed James passed out in the living room, which didn't surprise him. He wondered if his father had even felt somewhat worried about him being gone for half a week.

He threw on a green hoodie and black jeans, winking at himself in the mirror. There was his confidence! Oh, how he'd missed that. After grabbing his almost-dead phone, he headed back downstairs and grabbed his school bag. He slung it over his shoulder, bid his mother goodbye, then left to catch the bus.

—

"Alexandré?" Lafayette grabbed his arm as he approached the front doors of the school. "Où étiez-vous? You never miss school! I was terrified, and I even went to your house but your mother just said 'Monsieur Lafayette, je ne sais pas.' How could she be calm about this, and when did she learn French?"

"I ran away, but I'm back now," Alex hummed, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Also, we learned to speak French so my father couldn't understand us. You know this."

Lafayette sighed, taking Alex's hand in his and squeezing it. "I'm glad you're back. I was stuck hanging out with Adrienne."

Alex smirked, his eyebrow raised teasingly. "She's your girlfriend, or is Hercules really-"

"Ah, hush! Don't tell her this, but I think I'm into guys. I just never felt anything like what I feel for Herc."

The bell rang suddenly, causing Lafayette to flash Alex an apologetic glance before dashing off into the building. Alex did the same, going to his locker and grabbing the necessary items. He double checked his class schedule, his heart dropping when he realized what class he had first. English Language Arts. Usually this wouldn't be a bad thing, since he excelled in ELA, but he and Eliza sat together in that class. He was really starting to regret not planning a speech for her.

Reluctantly, he headed upstairs to the classroom and sat down next to the gorgeous girl. Her eyes flickered over to him, a hint of excitement in them, but she couldn't talk since their teacher had already started their lesson. For once, Mr. Adams saved his ass.

Once they were given their assignment, Eliza turned to him in her seat. "Listen, Alexander. I'm sorry for causing you to run away and probably get in trouble. I completely understand if you're mad at me, or hate me, or anything like that."

"It's all good." Alex forced a smile. "I even made a friend, so it's a win on my behalf." And a win on your behalf too, since you didn't have to put up with me. He turned to his paper, trying to prove that he didn't really care that much about her, even though he did. He 100% did.

Eliza rubbed his hand under the table. "The thing is, Alex, I want to go on a date with you. After some thought, I realized I do like you that way. How does sushi after school sound?"

Alex swore he could've felt his heart resurrect. As if all the damage that had ever been done had been repaired with those few words. He looked back over at her, trying to contain his smile. Spoiler alert, it didn't work. He ended up with the widest grin. "You're not kidding? You actually want to go on a date?"

Eliza nodded quickly, her eyes twinkling. "Of course! Am I the kind of person to toy around with your emotions for fun? Also, our zodiacs are compatible, so that's important."

"Yeah, of course it would be to you. My friend is picking me up after school, so I guess you can just join us then, huh?" He suggested, squeezing her hand.

"That would be gre-"

"Hamilton! Schuyler! Eyes up front," Adams snarled, tapping the whiteboard with his erasable marker. "This is no place for romance. Pay attention."

The two felt their faces flush red, but that didn't matter to Alex, because he was happier than he'd ever been in his life.