"Ren?" I say loudly, when I realise that he's been at a standstill by my side for quite some time now, his hands limply holding the garden rake against his body, his thoughtful eyes staring into the distance. "Earth to Ren!" I shout, and this time, I successfully pull the focus back into his eyes. He whips his face towards me and frowns. "If you want to go home anytime soon then quit dreaming and start working those arms!" I scold.

He gives me an unsolicited eye-roll, but resumes to sweep away at the ground without protest. "Yeah yeah."

I sigh and pick at the clutter of dry leaves with my own rake. We're well into the evening, and the only people on campus at this hour, besides us, are the boys' baseball team, practicing not too far away. I want to finish up our committee shift and leave this danger zone before their game gets heated enough for balls to start flying.

"So what were you thinking so much about anyway?" I ask as I work.

"Just stuff," he replies distractedly.
Stuff, he says. "Akito stuff?" I innocently inquire.

"Wh-HUH?" he yelps incoherently, fumbling to catch his rake as it slips out of his hands.

I smirk. "Spot on."

"N-No, the fuck are you saying? Why would I be thinking about that idiot!? There's nothing to even think about in the first place," he sputters, quick and clumsy.

"Really~" I tease, marveling at how easy it is to get Ren this worked up. "Hmmm let's see, how about that date you two went on the other day? Doesn't that give you something to think about?"

"W-What date?" he flounders, cheeks stained red.

"Akito's special birthday date."

"That was NOT a date! We didn't go anywhere, he just came over to my house-"

"Oh?"

"Shut up," he groans, flicking his rake in my direction and sending a plethora of muddy leaves into the air. I jump out of the way but fail to escape all of the flying dirt. "Ren! What the hell - you got my uniform all dirty," I whine. He grins, and now it's my turn to swing my rake towards him for revenge. He curses, and giving up on the rake entirely, starts to kick at the mud till it stains my socks brown. I squeal and try to hop away, kicking back when I'm allowed a chance. "Enough! Stop! Ren, why you-"

The sound of a throat clearing puts an end to our antics before we manage to kick up a full on storm. Brushing the dirt off my skirt, I turn around to see a boy I don't recognise, looking sheepishly at the two of us. "Uh, sorry for interrupting...whatever this is, but I was hoping I could speak to Ichijou." His black hair is tucked in a reversed cap, and he's wearing our school's baseball jersey. Someone from the team, then.

I direct a silent question towards Ren, only to see that he's already glaring daggers at the boy. I'm not sure if he does this on purpose, or if it's just become an instinct of his, to try to scare away anyone who comes near. I move to stand closer to him and touch his arm. "Fuck off, I'm not interested," he barks.

"It would only take a moment," the boy reluctantly continues, but he's already taking a small step back.

I don't want Ren to miss out on having this conversation. I want to push him to take steps, however small, to help him come out of his shell. There's a part of me that likes that I'm one of the only people he drops his guard around, but at the end of the day, I only want what's best for him. Someday, when we finish school and go our separate ways, and he finally gets to cross paths with the rest of his soulmates, I want him to be able to look past his inhibitions and feel comfortable enough to make the first move.

"Why don't you try hearing him out? See what he has to say," I say quietly, words meant for no ears but his. His glare starts to lose some of it's heat as he turns to face me, uncertain. "I'll be right here if you need me," I add with a smile. "Go."

Ren nods, and returns his attention to the boy. "This better be worth my time," he mutters, and the boy answers with a relieved smile. "I think it will be," he says cheerfully, and I watch them walk off towards the baseball court together.

Akito shoots me questioning looks from where he's standing with his rake a few yards away, and I shrug my shoulders in response. I'm about to head over to him when an unexpected touch to the shoulder makes me jump. I stumble away and whirl around to find Irina, standing before me with her skirt fluttering lightly in the breeze.

She quirks an eyebrow at me.

"When did you...I didn't see you," I breathe, alarmed.

She smiles. "Clearly."

"How do you always manage to sneak up on me?" I grumble as I walk back to her side. One moment she's not around, and the next she's right there, within arm's reach, looking so effortlessly beautiful. She may as well have simply manifested out of thin air. Maybe Irina is a goddess with teleportation powers. It makes sense, doesn't it? The longer I look at her, soak in her silently graceful presence, the more convinced of this I become.

"You just don't pay attention to your surroundings, which makes me worry," she says with a sigh. "This is why I can't leave you alone Rubi." My heart stutters in my chest, throwing my body - and inexplicably my mind, off balance. I try to reach for a response, one that will help me sound as cool and unbothered as Irina does, but the only sounds ready to spill out of my tongue are noises of inarticulate happiness, and since I'm not interested in looking like a lovestruck fool, I decidedly keep my mouth shut.

Luckily for me, Irina is quickly distracted by the state of my uniform. "What happened? Did you fall?" she asks with puckered eyebrows.

"Oh...this," I start, looking down at myself. "It's er, not worth explaining, trust me."

She doesn't push it further. Instead, her gaze flits over to where Akito is working by himself, and she slowly asks, "You didn't give it to him yet, did you?" The tone of her voice seems to say you're hopeless.

I press the toe of my shoe into the mud, feeling uneasy. "I didn't," I admit.

"When will you do it?"

I laugh half-heartedly. "But it's not even his birthday anymore."

Irina's frown deepens. "So you're not going to give it to him?"

I just shrug.

Irina shakes her head and looks at me in disbelief. "What about all the work you put in? You're willing to let it go to waste?"

"I...I don't think it's worth that much to begin with, so..." I trail off, going quiet when I see how upset she looks.

The day before yesterday, when Irina offered, I skipped my committee shift and left school early with her to find Akito a birthday gift. It took hours of walking from store to store till I finally settled on something that satisfied me. A silver fountain pen, with a smooth, glassy grip - one that shines when you tilt it at the right angles. It reminded me of Akito, in ways I can't really explain. I spent the next morning carving a charm for academic success onto it's surface, and I'm proud of how it turned out. I really want to give it to him.

But when I saw how happy it made Akito to receive a gift from Ren, I couldn't bring myself to take it out.

Anything your soulmate gives you is sure to be irreplaceably important. I can't compare to that.

I know that it's childish, but I sort of...really want him to love my gift too. Just as much. If I give it to him, and he doesn't show me the same brilliant eyes and full smile, I feel like it will hurt me in places that won't ever really heal. Even though it's just a pen, and it shouldn't be this big of a deal, it is one to me, and I can't help that I'm this way.

It doesn't matter. Either way, it's too late now.

"I'm sorry, I know I made you come with me-"

"A gift from you is worth everything and more," Irina whispers, her expression pained. "This is stupid." My heart sinks. Don't look at me like that.

Please.

I don't want her to be mad at me, so I'm about to apologize again when she cuts me off with an abrupt change of subject. "I spoke to the incharge. We can leave now."

I blink. "W-We can? But we've still got work-"

"We can finish tomorrow."

I gape at her in awe. "You really got them to let us off the hook? How?"

"All I had to do was point out to them that our parents wouldn't be happy to find out that the students here are being overworked," she casually explains, tucking a few stray strands of her hair behind her ear when they blow across her face.

"You threatened them?" I ask, a startled laugh escaping my lips.

"Call it what you want."

This is why I love you, I almost say. I'm always quick to forget that I need to be careful about saying things like that around Irina now, because of how normal she's been acting. It's not like the confession never happened, because it definitely did. Irina's unreserved words and the big head I've been walking around with say as much. It's just that, nothing is really different from before.

I know I'm being unfair to her by holding back some of my feelings, but Irina is being patient with me, and I don't really feel any pressure to think about her confession when I'm with her. I know I will have to address it eventually, but for now, I'm so so thankful that we still get to be with each other this way.

When we notice Akito drop his rake and start in our direction, Irina minutely steps closer, and all my senses immediately flare up. When she leans over like she has something important to say, the proximity sets my heart off at an unbelievable pace. "Rubi," she utters, lowering her voice. My breathing falters. I momentarily look away, before quickly finding her mystic gaze again, because I can't really resist her pretty eyes. "I'm going up to class for our bags. When I return, I want to see Akito holding the pen. Okay?"

Dazed, I nod.

She gently brushes the hair out of my eyes, and smiles. "That's my girl."

I watch her leave with my lips pressed tightly together. If anything, Irina is to blame for putting me in this situation. She told me she liked me, giving me a massive dose of overconfidence - which was what lead me to believe that Akito might actually be happy to get a present from me in the first place. I mean...after hearing something like that, of course I'd feel special. This is Irina we're talking about.

I sigh and peel my eyes away from her retreating figure, tugging a smile to my lips when Akito stops before me.

"Done with that side?"

He nods. "Where did Ren go?"

"Oh, I'm not sure what it's about, but he got called by someone from the baseball team."

"Is that so," Akito mumbles, staring off in the direction Ren disappeared to.

I stick my hand into my skirt pocket and let my tentative fingers curl around the pen. "Um, Akito-"

"He messaged me yesterday," he says all of a sudden.

"W-What?" I stutter, confused, my mind still in my pocket with the pen.

He tears his eyes from the baseball field to look down at me. "I'm sorry, were you going to say something?"

"No no," I quickly wave him off. "You were saying? Ren messaged you?"

His face lights up. It's not often that Akito looks like this. Energised, and excited, like he's got his feet off the ground. "Yes," he nods, his lips helplessly curving in the most genuine of smiles.

"Last night, he sent a text asking if I was awake. When I answered, he told me to shut up and go to sleep because my sleepy face was annoying and he didn't want to have to look at it at school the next day." I think he's laughing a little bit, and my chest feels light. "I asked him why he was still awake, and we talked a little bit. It wasn't much, but-" His eyes flicker to mine, radiant with hope. "It means he was thinking about me, right? Like I think about him."

I laugh excitedly. "Yes! Akito! Your first text conversation!"

"My first text conversation," he repeats, giddy from the memory. "With Ren."

"Yes!" I take both his hands in mine and grip them tightly. "And I can guarantee that it's only one of many firsts to come." It feels like it will be okay now. Like if I leave them be, they'll manage to find their way into each other's hearts just fine.

I've always made it a point to squeeze updates out of Akito on any progress in his relationship with Ren.

But I think it's time for me to take a step back now, and just be happy for them.

They'll be okay.

"Listen, it's okay if you don't tell me these things anymore," I softly mutter. I want Akito and Ren to build a treasure trove of memories together, and I understand that some things are meant to be kept between soulmates. I don't need to know every little thing that happens between them from now on, because I'm starting to trust them to take the reins in their relationship.

"Oh," Akito says slowly, his lips stretching in a reluctant smile. "But if not you, who else would I tell?"

My silence quickly puts a look of concern on his face. "It's just that, it felt special, so I wanted to tell you about it. I'm sorry if I'm troubling you-"

"O-Oh, no no, you're not troubling me."

Akito wanted to tell me?

I guess I never really thought of it that way.

When something good happens to me, Kurumi-senpai is the first person I run to tell, and I didn't realise that I could be that person to someone else too. Turns out...I can.

I totally can.

The weight in my pocket calls to me. I let go of his hands, and reach for the fountain pen. "Um, Akito? I didn't get a chance to give this to you before, but..." I gently place the pen in his palm and close his fingers around it. "Happy birthday."

He stares at it, turning it around in his hands before looking back to me. "This is...for me?"

"It's not much, but..." I laugh nervously. "I want you to use it to write your exams. I put some of my good luck into it, for you."

"I see." He runs his fingers over the engravings. "Thank you," he murmurs in wonder. "This...might be the best thing anyone's ever given me." He smiles then, and it's a more quiet sort of happiness, not the kind that brings sparks into his eyes, but even so, it doesn't feel any less special.

I smile back. "You're welcome."

After Akito safely tucks the pen into the pocket of his trousers, we gather up the rakes and take them back to the stands in the outdoor closet. We come out again in time to see Ren jogging towards us, and we greet him with expectant looks.

"Okay so, uh you know how we have sports day in a few weeks?" he asks.

The two of us nod, urging him to continue.

"So um, there's a baseball match happening that day. Nothing serious, but the red team has a vacancy for a position in the center field, and they want...me to fill it," he finishes, eyes darting between the two of us.

Not surprising, considering how Ren is pretty much the fastest person at school. "And!?" I demand. "You said yes, right? Please tell me you said yes!"

"I...I'd have to go to their practices you know? I wouldn't be able to do this committee shit for a while," he mumbles. It makes me impossibly happy that he'd even think of us when being presented with such an opportunity, but Ren absolutely has to play. I'm about to say as much, when Akito speaks up first. "You should say yes. It sounds like something you'd enjoy."

"Yeah!" I quickly rise to join him. "Don't worry about the committee thing, we won't be called in starting next week anyway because of exam season." Excitement plants itself in my chest, a fresh seed. "Oh my god," I gasp. "Ren is going to bag so many medals come sports day, isn't he? Oh my god, it's going to be great."

"I'm sure it will be," Akito pleasantly agrees.

Ren answers with averted eyes and an awkward, Whatever. "You're not participating?" he asks Akito after a moment.

"Sports day mocks the athletically challenged," Akito replies, somewhat bitterly, and it makes Ren chuckle.

I slowly step back, and realise that there's something truly wonderful unfolding before me. Akito and Ren are standing closer to one another than they usually do, and I can't make out what they're saying from here, but I watch as they gaze into each other's eyes and talk, the expressions on their faces changing by the minute.

The string between them looks like it's bursting with vitality, even more so than before. This bond is alive, and it's really everything, isn't it?

Akito and Ren. They've come so far. Akito and Ren. They're not names that fit together right away, but if said enough times, they start sounding pretty darn good, don't you think?

Akito and Ren. I'm so proud of them.

"Let's go." I continue to stare at the boys, utterly wonderstruck, as Irina appears by my side and starts to drag me towards the gates. They're both smiling now, heads bent close, Akito swatting at Ren's hand as Ren pokes at his dimple, and this, getting to see this, was worth every second I spent coaxing myself to calm down when Akito and Ren proved to be too much.

"Irina," I cry. "Look at them, look at how cute they are."

"We'd be even cuter you know." She let's go of my arm and stretches her hand out to me. My heart grows heavy in my chest. Why can't you see? Mine is not the hand you're meant to hold. She wriggles her fingers and it makes me laugh. I reluctantly hold my hand out too, and she grabs it and yanks so that we're walking with our shoulders pressed together. It's nice, more than nice, and for once, I try not to think too much about what can or can't be mine, and just enjoy the delicate feel of her hand.

I've only ever had one self-imposed rule in life. Don't get attatched. I'll come to realise later on that I'd been an idiot to have broken it, to have forgotten why I put it in place to begin with. That sometimes, friends don't put each other first. That sometimes, no matter how raw and honest you try to be with your words, the people closest to you will not understand your truth.

END OF CHAPTER