My friends and I are all up super early to go to a doctor's appointment in a town 2 hours away help.

So, I looked today (7/9/18 for future reference future me, since I know how I operate) and this story is currently number one in the Sulay tag. Holy crap.

...

Junmyeon's POV

...

I gazed across the table at my unexpected guests, feeling butterflies exploding in my stomach all over again. Yixing and Luhan would be staying at the palace for a full week. It didn't seem real. I was thrilled. I mean, sure, I had all my duties to do, but now I had some company.

"It's good to be back," Luhan said. "Thank you for hosting us again King Junmyeon." I dipped my head. It still felt weird to be addressed that way. Then again it had only been half a day so far. "How have you been?"

"Good, and you guys?" I asked. Luhan nodded, and I waited for an answer from Yixing, but he was so engrossed on his phone that it was almost like he didn't hear me in the first place. A small sigh escaped passed my lips. When I imagined having him back here again, this isn't quite what I pictured. Then again I should've known. He said it himself; fairytale endings didn't exist in real life. Yixing suddenly chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners in a way I was all too familiar with.

"Apparently Ying Yue is going to stay at our palace tonight," he said. "Everyone's a little loopy after just getting off the plane." He smiled that smile. The one I'd seen countless times while he was here the last time. The one that meant he was just so happy and content. That he was in love. My stomach churned, but I couldn't say anything. Even if I did, it wasn't like he even felt the same anymore anyway. He said that himself too. "Are you alright?" he asked me.

"Yep," I lied, smiling a tight lipped smile that felt far too forced to be real. "It's just taking me a bit to process that I'm king now." And that you didn't need me in your life, no matter what I'd fantasized. I wouldn't lie and say a small part hadn't hoped he hadn't moved on. Because I did. I'd wished for it to be the case so bad.

I'd been on countless dates after those two weeks. Met hundreds of potential girlfriends, wives, whatever you wanted to call them. Some I only saw as friends, like Dahee and Minji. Some I'd felt a connection with, like Sumi and Eunha, but after the dates I realized it could never work. I always went in to these dates intending to find my forever, but I'd already found them. And I could never have them. So I tried. I tried as hard as I possibly could to muster up some kind of feelings for these ladies. But it always failed, because nothing could replicate the sparks that ignited when it was Yixing.

"Your Majesty." I glanced up, smiling wearily when I saw Minji in the doorway. "I will be leaving soon." And so I rose from my place at the table, moving to embrace her. "That was a great party last night," she said. "Thank you for the invite."

"Thank you for coming," I replied as we finally separated. "It means the world to me." I glanced behind her at a boy I'd never met before. "Jisoo," I said to him, and he seemed a bit taken aback. "Take good care of this one for me. She's very special." He smiled a wide smile.

"Oh, I know," he said. I liked the sound of his voice. Low and smooth. "It was good to formally meet you King Kim. Minji talks highly of you. She said you're also the only other person besides us who knows the song."

"Indeed," I replied. "It's a very beautiful song Jisoo. You did a good job with it." He smiled sheepishly, ruffling his own hair in embarrassment. "Safe travels to you both. Feel free to visit any time you find yourselves on this end of Seoul." Minji linked an arm through Jisoo's, waving to me over her shoulder as they both left. I glanced over my shoulder at Luhan and Yixing. One was shooting me concerned looks, and the other was once again engrossed in his phone. I'd give you three guesses on which one was which. I suppressed another sigh, leaving the dining hall and making my way to my study. I sat in my chair behind my huge desk, not entirely sure what I was going to do.

I could go through the mounds of paperwork already piling up. Most of it was simple domestic disputes that didn't require my immediate attention. Some was laws that needed tweaking or that needed my approval to be passed. Others still were formal invites from foreign bodies, inviting me over so I could get to know my allies in other countries. But the more I stared at it, the more I didn't want to do it. Then I noticed a letter sticking out from the very bottom of the pile. I pulled it out, scanning the return address quickly. Yixing? I carefully opened and unfolded it, smiling slightly when I realized it was from two years ago.

Junmyeon,

God it's so boring here. Father sent me on more dates. But they weren't anything like you, so I wasn't particularly interested. I think mother may suspect something though, because she asks me a lot of questions about you. I can't tell her about us, even though I want to so bad. They just wouldn't understand.

I miss you so much Junnie. It's different laying down at night, because you aren't there with me. The first day back I opened my eyes and turned to look at you, only to realize you aren't here. I'll make plans to see you soon, I promise. Maybe we can finish that picnic we never really got to have. Or maybe I could bring you here and show you around Beijing.

Love, Yixing.

For a good, long while all I did was sit there, reading the short letter over and over again until the words blended together. Why hadn't I seen this letter before now? He clearly wrote it shortly after he went home. Unless mother and father purposely hid it from me, which was possible. I folded it back up and stuck it back in the envelope, then proceeded to put it in an empty drawer. If I was ever feeling bad, I could just read that. Even if it wasn't true now, at least I knew at one point he really did like me.

...

Yixing's POV

...

Night time had come at last. It wasn't particularly late, but I'd already said good night to Ying Yue. I was already dressed for bed, and Luhan had acquired a couple mugs of hot chocolate for us. Moonlight streamed through the open curtains, casting a milky glow over that section of floor.

"Have you seen Junmyeon since lunch time?" Luhan suddenly asked. I paused, thinking back to my day. I honestly couldn't remember seeing him at all since lunch. But where would he have gone? Maybe the room he'd showed me that was being converted to his study? The piano room that I saw last time?

"I haven't," I answered at last. "I'm sure he's around though. He couldn't have gone far." But still, Luhan did not seem consoled. I'd admit to being a bit worried myself, but I also had to understand that Junmyeon was king now. He had a lot to do, even on his first day. I sipped my hot chocolate, but now it didn't taste as nice.

I could sense his weird mood earlier. It would've been hard to miss. Something wasn't right, even if he was good at putting on the act that everything was. And I also knew I was the cause of it. And even if that did bother me, I at least had to act like I was unbothered by the whole thing. I sighed, idly playing with my phone. Maybe I was laying it on a little thick, but how could I convince everyone I really liked her if I didn't show it. Hell, some days I wasn't so sure of that fact.

"Luhan?" I asked hesitantly. He glanced over. "Do you think people actually believe me when I say I like Ying Yue, or do you and Junmyeon and now mother just kind of brush it off?"

"Your mother knows now huh?" he asked instead. All I could do was nod. "I won't lie and say I was completely convinced at first. But half a year has gone by and you've proven yourself to be a devoted and loving boyfriend to her. Why? Do you think you may still have some lingering feelings?"

"I don't know," I sighed, balling my hands on the blanket spread across my lap. "I...I kissed him," I admitted, and Luhan's eyes widened to comical proportions. If the situation was anything but serious, I might have laughed. "So there goes the whole devoted boyfriend thing," I dead panned. "But damn it Luhan kissing him again just felt so right. It lit me up inside, and I could've gladly stopped time in its tracks so it didn't have to end."

"Oh," he said. "Yeah I believe that poses a problem, now doesn't it?" I looked down, picking imaginary threads off the blanket to avoid looking at him. "You're almost eighteen Yixing," he continued after a pause. "You're not little anymore. While I can offer you advice, I can't tell you how you should live your life. What do you think?"

"I don't know anymore." I sighed in defeat, falling back against the pillows. "But what kind if future would either of us have if the other was a large part of it?" Sure, two countries would become one. But neither of our fathers would ever approve of the two of us. "It's better this way," I said at last. "That way everyone is happy."

"But he isn't," Luhan mumbled. I looked up questioningly. "He's kind of miserable about everything if you haven't noticed. He's a king with no queen for one. And not for lack of women crawling all over him." I closed my eyes, trying to picture a scenario where he'd seemed happy. Those two weeks two years ago. His eyes were bright and clear and full of fire. His posture was relaxed and he smiled so easily and so often. So what happened? "I think a part of him was holding out hope," Luhan added. "That once you guys were face to face again nothing had changed. That you still felt the same way as he does about you."

"But I do," I whispered. "You think I could so easily get over him? I like Ying Yue, Luhan, but she's not..." I stopped. "She's not him. No one can ever beat the way he made me feel."

"Then why did you propose?" Luhan asked, strangely paralleling the same question mother asked me earlier in the day. "If you knew you'd never feel as strongly about Ying Yue as you do about Junmyeon?"

"Because father would never look at me again if he knew," I answered. "I'm terrified Luhan. I have to be a good model prince for the whole world to see. And on the outside, I am. But inside the real me screams at the fake me to cast aside the persona." I paused. "I don't know if I could stand to look at me some days. Some days I just wish I could forget about him and I but I can't because I just... I..."

"You don't have to continue," Luhan said at last, picking our mugs up. "I'm going to take these down to the kitchens and then probably retreat to my own room for the night, alright?" I nodded. "Goodnight Xing. I'm only a call away if you need me." And with that he left. I sat up, staring at the spot he once occupied. I slid off the bed and sat beside the suitcase mother packed, rooting through it to see if she packed me any surprises.

She did. In the form of the music box Junmyeon got me

I gaped at the object, holding it delicately in my hands. Mother had no way of knowing that this music box was any different than any of the other ten I owned. But I knew. A lump began to form in my throat as I opened the lid, and the music that had lulled me to sleep every night for two years filled the silence. Even if I was too old for something like this, I still used it. It was the only thing that could provide me comfort when nothing else and no one else could.

I laid down once again, the sound of music and the wetness of my cheeks being the things that sent me off to dreamland this night.

...

I gotta go to work so this is short k bye.