Have you ever thought 'Hey I wonder how it feels to have cancer?' Well if you have it sucks. It sucks even more when you finally realize that you're dying,and there is nothing you can do. I am thirteen years old and my friends call me Riley. But what do you expect  me to be happy about me dying. My parents are always watching me so all I ever do is draw. I draw my pain, my happiness(which isn't often), my past, my present, the future, and the sunset. The sky is there not just to tell you that you have to go to school. It gives off bright vibrant colors. "Just look at the sunset and imagine what it would be like to be young forever. You know like that poem by Robert Frost the one that talks about being gold." I tell Amber she is my best friend. She is the person that stood by my side for as long as I can remember. "You know I wish I could see the world like you. I mean if everyone could see the world like you it wouldn't be so fucked up." She says. Of course even though I have known her for 12 years and I should be used to this. But she hasn't learned to not cuss that much. I always wanted to run and have a boyfriend bring him home and watch him tense while my father threatens him. But that will never happen because I will never live that long. I sometimes like to retread that quote from The Fault In Our Stars. " Depression is a side effect of  dying."  But I also live by the quotes Agustus says such as " My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations." " You don't have a choice if you get hurt in this world but you do have a say in who hurts you." "The world isn't a wish granting factory." But if it was I would wish live just a little bit longer. I mean it will be okay when I die because the I shall disappear into the sunset so that everyone may gaze upon the colors of life. I mean I have kinda always wondered what it would be like to die. But then again thirteen just isn't long enough. I don't want to be remembered I want to be highly appreciated I want to thought of for some crazy act of goodness. I continued thoughts as I walked down the street tuning Amber out. I mean I lie her dearly but she talks to much and it gets kinda irritating. But she instantly pulls me out of my thoughts by saying something about those strange boys across the street. Amber wants a nice boyfriend. I want that and I want someone who will push me out of my comfort zone to the max and take me places I have never seen.
"What about them?"
"I mean like do you think they are cute?"
"No absolutely not never ever in a million years."
"Okay yesh I mean they have been staring at us for like five minuets."
"Well now that you say that I think it's time we go home I mean since our houses are right next door to each other, are your parents home?"
"Yeah. But what about yours."
"Yeah they are just want to make sure."
"Okay bye Amber."
"Bye Riley"
As soon as I get home I lock everything then turn on the alarm then setup the lasers on the front of the house. I put all this up the lasers and everything is real. I don't think that anyone is dumb enough to try to come over here.
"Hi mom hi dad I'm home."
"Hi honey." They say in unison.
I decide to go to my room. I mean I don't have a big social life so yeah.  I mean like 7.2m isn't a lot on Instagram ha just kidding I know it is.  But that's on the profile for people who love trying to help kids who can't be helped. My Instagram has only 4 followers my parents, Amber, and this really cute guy I like named December. The problem with that is he is popular I am not. The difference is popular people get treated like gods. They walk the ground with thunder in there steps. They control the balance of popularity. They decide who is and isn't cool. While the unpopular people get treated like dirt. They maintain good grades but at the cost of people using there smarts for no reason. Some of us are treated like ghost. Myself included. But now you know the difference. Even though they don't say it in front of me the people he hangs out with always end up saying they hope I die what's the point of even coming to school etc. Oh well I guess everyone can't have  a happy life. I can't help but ask have you ever liked someone an you know that you can't have them or they won't like you like you like them? Well if you have welcome to the lonely crew my friend. You shall level but me I won't make it to live another day. These thoughts are disrupted when I hear a knock on my door.
"Umm who is it?" No one speaks it's just breathing. Almost as if someone is there trying to be quiet. But they are breathing heavy. I push the thought out of my head. I decide if it's best I just go outside to my patio an stare at the sunset. I envy the sunset. Why? We'll see the sunset has seen everything we cannot such as space, people everywhere, love,and all of the above. As soon as I get outside I breath the clean fresh air. The sunset is big and bright all the colors mixing together. It really is an amazing sight. The green, purple, blue, pink, and orange. Then it someone puts something over my head and I'm knocked out.