Shreya did not have a proper sleep schedule. But when the clock struck 10, she said her goodnight and slipped into her room, shutting herself in what little safety she felt.

Now she did not feel that need. So without that compulsion, she sat on the couch experimenting with the different settings on their new TV. Her mind however was full of thoughts. Some far fetched and elaborate, some just the face of the man she was with. But one thought crept up from time to time. Where was she going to sleep?

When she heard Lakshya go into the bathroom, she quickly turned off the TV, went into the bedroom, picked a random side of the bed and slept there. She faced away from the bathroom door. She hoped these would be her final days of pretending to be asleep, be it for others, or for herself.

Lakshya freshened up and there was no denying that his stomach was in a huge protest. He had to eat and make sure he was in a good condition to appear at the office the next day. It had already been a week of leave and his reason was local vacation. If it dragged on any longer, he would have to answer his inquisitive colleagues about what amazing tour he was on that took so much time. He did not want any kind of suspicion around this time. This was the least he could do for Moksha. For them.

He had to eat.

When he stepped out, he found his 'wife' in his bed. His fist clenched and he threw the towel in his hand with quite a bit of force and it landed with a soft thud. Shreya straightened her back and closed her eyes more firmly.

However, Lakshya did not call her out for this. She heard his footsteps receding into the hall. The house did not have another bed, so was he going to sleep on the couch, she wondered.

Soon she heard quite some disturbance from the kitchen as utensils clinked together. She listened to those movements until they stopped.

Lakshya did not hold back in the kitchen although the tastes were new and off by a little bit to what he was used to. The amount of food was also just right for him. But something was odd. They looked untouched. But then again, she could not have cooked just for one person and not eaten herself. What a perplexing situation!

He was quite a curious guy and wanted to ask her. But how could he? He hated her.

Once done, he dealt with the dishes and came back to the bedroom. Looking at the woman, he had one singular thought. How much did she cook and how much did she eat?

As he settled in the bed, another thought came to the forefront. He was sleeping right next to her. He felt awful all of a sudden. He quietly carried his blanket over to the couch in the living room. Once he felt comfortable, his mind was back on the topic of food.

Shreya heard it all. Him coming, laying next to her, springing up as if it was sin and leaving with his blanket. She cried again. Her cries have always been silent.

∼•∽

The next morning, Shreya sat up in bed. She barely had any sleep. Even if she slumbered, it did not last long.

She freshened up with low energy. The only thought pushing her was that she had to cook for her husband.

She did learn to cook, but from now on, it would be a daily chore just like her mother. She checked the time. She had gotten up only one hour earlier than usual.

That meant she had just an hour to complete making breakfast and lunch, and pack her lunch. Maybe Lakshya's too. She knew she would be late for work.

An hour later, he was still asleep.

When she was done packing their lunches, she saw him milling around near the kitchen.

"Good morning." Only then she realised how raspy her voice was.

Lakshya looked at her a moment longer.

He would have snickered. But seeing the food he remembered she had skipped dinner.

He waltzed into the kitchen under her gaze, served himself breakfast. "I'll eat there. You can eat here."

Shreya did not respond. More like, don't come near me, don't use breakfast as an excuse to get closer to me. He saw through her very well, she thought as she lost her appetite again.

She was also running late.

She shuffled a little and soon left the house.

Lakshya then snickered. He rolled his eyes too. "Don't eat, not my loss!" He choked a little on his food, drank some water and continued, "Trying to make me feel guilty. Why would I? Dumb bitch!"

∼•∽

Shreya plopped down in her chair, pulled off the band around her hair, shook her head, and got down to work. Work and study. That was the only thing that kept her going for most part of her life.

When noon rolled around, she ate her meal alone. Zahra had to run to the crystallography lab. She said she'd munch on her chapati roll on the way there.

As she fed some leftovers to the cats, she wondered if Lakshya had his lunch. If he did, was it with or without Moksha? If it was with Moksha, would he have told her that lunch was the first lunch packed by her? What would he refer to her as? Would he say wife or her name?

Shreya sighed. The cat picked up whatever measly amount of curd was there and left the rice grains. It started meowing. It seemed unusually moody. Normally, it would happily eat up the curd rice.

Shreya bought a packet of curd.

"Pure curd. Eat up."

Lakshya did not tell her anything about Moksha. But it did not take a genius to know that both worked at the same place from bits of conversation she'd heard.

"Eat up." She sighed and stood up.

Maybe Moksha would get mad at him for taking that lunch and then he'd beg for forgiveness. Then the two would talk about her. How she ruined their plans.

Then it hit her. None of these thoughts was her main worry. Did he even take that lunch? That was the main question.

Once she was back in her seat, she put her hair together in a little bunch and put heart to work. This day she could happily skip home at 6. She would prepare dinner and eat. She won't feel the need to hide away. It made her feel so lively. Even if there was going to be a guy who might be rude to her, it was much better.

∼•∽

Lakshya removed his ring, which was the only indication of his marriage. He kept his social media equally bare. At lunch, he spoke about a trip to South India he had been on with his family a few years ago. It explained his absence and with the enthusiasm he faked, no one could tell.

At lunch, he met Moksha as usual. She deliberately kept away from the topic of his marriage. That had never happened between them, avoiding talking about anything at all. But now, both could feel the gap. A separation they did not address in a cautious consensus.

That day, their conversation was superfluous.

And soon they could not find much to talk about.

That evening, Moksha said her bye to her team members and rushed home. She had something urgent to take care of, she said. No one could tell.

Lakshya saw her leave though. He had gone to the break room with his team for coffee. She did not tell him. He turned away from the window. The coffee felt more bitter.

∼•∽

He almost forgot that he had to take a new turn at the traffic signal. A new route. A new home. He took off his helmet. There were still 189 seconds for the light to turn green. Hot air full of vehicle exhaust hit his face. Perhaps the first time in his life, he did obsess over his hair being damaged. When the countdown showed 10 seconds, he finally put his helmet on. Yes, it was not a good feeling to go back to live with someone he did not want in his life. But he could do it. He accelerated his bike.

He fished his keys from his pocket. Just as they dingled, the door opened.

Shreya gave him a smile.

He did not return it. Once again, he had dinner in the living room and Shreya did not invade that space.

She was very happy just sitting in the kitchen and enjoying her meal. He had taken the lunch she packed!

∼•∽

Five days had gone by since her marriage. Shreya lingered near her cat once again. It was a scenery as beautiful as always with ragged leaves covering vibrant streaks of the evening sky.

Lakshya had not said anything too mean or rude to her in these five days. That itself made her smile at odd times.

She still heard him on the phone with Moksha though. It stung more and more. There was no getting used to that. She milled around in the alley for some more time. Then, with some resolve she returned.

When it was 7, she was half way through her meal preparation. Even with all the kitchen noise, she managed to hear the dangling of keys.

She quickly washed her hands and rushed to open the door for him. Lucky her, she was just in time. When will he decide to ring the doorbell?

She smiled at him.

Lakshya was thrown off by her every time she did this. No one smiled at him so animatedly, and so often. It wasn't a normal smile. It was as if she replaced entire words and sentences with a smile and expected him to understand and respond. Once again, he paid her no mind.

Soon after, Shreya set the table.

Lakshya still carried his plate to the living room.

This was no different from yesterday. Shreya finished her meal slightly nervous, though.

An hour later she changed into a lingerie she decided on with quite a lot of trouble. This was the second most sexiest piece in her wardrobe. Of course, specially packed for nuptials by her mother, mother-in-law and her sister-in-law. If she remembered correctly, this was her sister-in-law's choice.

The silk was baby pink, with a deep neck, reaching her knees.

Nervous, yet bold, she went to his door and knocked.

She held her breath. This was the man in her heart, after all.

Lakshya was on the phone. No surprise there. The call seemed to have come to a natural end right then. Shreya knew it was his girlfriend on the other side. In all honesty , she did feel guilty for Moksha. Not just her, but also for Lakshya and herself.

He looked up to the sound, as he tore the phone away from his ear.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" His voice was menacing.

Shreya gulped. Her heart was already trembling. Suddenly, she felt all the shame in the world.

She was close to tears, in fact. But she tried her damn hardest to not be bothered.

"Was that Moksha?"

"You don't have to know."

She gulped again. She gathered some courage and took one step forward.

Lakshya got up from his bed and walked to her.

She took a step back instinctively.

He leaned in. "I didn't know I was marrying such a shameless whore."

Shreya felt his breath as well as the hatred it carried. Silent tears flowed down her cheeks.

"Why are you still standing here?"

She did not move. One step back and she would be out of his room.

"If I fuck you now, will you stop?" He knew how many times he avoided her seemingly meek advances. He hoped he was vulgar enough.

Finally, she turned back. The way he spoke to her did not make her angry or humiliated. It only made her sad.

She stayed still, controlling her breath and her raging emotions. Her lips were agape and she tried not to break down right where she stood.

Tears rolled down her face silently.

She could have fled to the guest room and locked the door tight. But something kept her standing there. It also made her turn back and face him.

In the end, she stepped out. Love did give her all the courage she needed. Maybe all, but to face the pain of his caustic words.

∼•∽

The next morning, both seemed to have decided that it was best to act like nothing happened at that door hours before. After a few moments of initial awkwardness, Shreya said, "I heard from sis that you love tomato curry, without onions, or any other vegetable."

Lakshya glanced at the lunch she was packing.

"Thanks," he said. It was a very airy one.

Shreya smiled again, a smile that tried to replace her words.

On his way to the office, he wondered about the night before.

Why did she do that? She knew where he stood with their marriage. She knew everything about his personal life. And yet, she tried to sabotage his close to five year relationship with Moksha. If she was hurt, she deserved it.

That week, Lakshya had to have lunch with his team, not with Moksha. For some reason Moksha had decided not to have lunch with him and instead sat with her team. Lakshya decided to go down to Moksha's team and speak to her one evening.

Then he felt it would be better to wait for her to come out and catch her.

"Avoiding me?"

She turned around in the parking lot to face him.

"Moksha?"

"You remember what you said? How you would make that woman regret."

They stood in silence for a while.

"I'll drop you home."

Moksha looked indecisive and he was frustrated. Right then, Lakshya took her hand and led her to his bike.

After some hesitation, she climbed on.

Lakshya stopped at a park on the way. It was their hang out spot.

"This is the first time you are so silent for this long."

Saddened and worried, he led her to a bench nearby. Both sat down.

"Let's talk."

Only then did Moksha look at him.

"I don't know what to do." She leaned away from him.

Lakshya noticed, but he acted as if he did not. Because, this was the first time she was rejecting him and he did not know how to face it.

"What do you mean?"

"This is not right..."

Lakshya fell silent.

"If you are worried, I didn't touch her. I don't give a fuck about her. You are all that matters to me."

Lakshya kept looking at her eyes but they were cast somewhere else.

"Moksha, what is it? Don't trust me?"

"I do!" she stressed.

Moksha's heart was in knots. After all, when she started dating him, she had never thought he would be married to someone else. When she came to know that he would marry someone, she had never thought it would change their relationship. When she remembered him and scrolled through their chats, she finally had to face the restless feelings that deluged her.

Lakshya hugged her. "Shh. Don't cry, Moksha. Tell me. What is it?"

To her silence, he said, "It's okay. Everything will work out."

How was the question he didn't have the answer to. He was determined to find out though. He leaned in for a kiss.

But the next moment, he was facing to the side. Then he felt it. A hand had just touched his cheek. Then it sank in.

He chuckled and turned to Moksha.

"Did you just hit me?" His jaw clenched.

Moksha did not answer. Maybe she did.

"I need some time to think about us."

She stood up, not looking at him, and walked away.

Lakshya did not waste a second. He stood up, did not look at her, walked to the exit where he had parked his bike. He was in a bad mood. A foul mood, in fact.

∼•∽

The night phone calls stopped. Shreya was unaware though, because Lakshya had decided to put up an act and spoke into an empty receiver should he see her around.

He had no reason to do so. But he did. Maybe he wanted to keep up his pride and ego. That last Friday was the first time his advance was rejected. What did that make him? It just made no sense. Moksha was yet to speak to him. It seemed she needed more time.

He grabbed his guitar. He did not want to think about anything.

He strummed the strings with no true rhythm. Or he was switching from one song to the other mid bar.

∼•∽

It had been 15 days since their marriage. Shreya was once again looking at the lingerie in her room. She took out the sexiest of all this time.

This time, she wanted to bear everything he might have to say, but stay put and not give up. Perhaps once they do the deed, Moksha may become irrelevant, she hoped.

That was when she heard some music. Maybe he was in a good mood, she thought.

But as she walked closer, she knew he wasn't. Even for someone who knew nothing about music, she sensed how erratic the music was coming from the guitar he held.

She watched, without knocking. Thankfully, he did not have a habit of shutting his door.

∼•∽

A/N:
I want to say special thanks to everyone who is keeping up with the story. Thank you very much. It means a lot to me.

I also apologize. I do not have a proper structure and plot in place. I only know what kind of emotion I want to deliver. The outline I have is not structured enough. This story may not even have a message or a theme for that matter. I also do not have my character's personalities in place.

I am writing. Just writing.

I am trying my best to keep everything consistent at the very least. But yeah, overall I am not making a story. I am simple writing. Writing without caring about how you, my readers perceive it. Without considering how to keep you invested to read on.

So despite all of these, you guys still reading every time I update, clicking the star and commenting is very special and it means a lot.

Thanks again. I promise I will complete this book. See on 21st April. Take care and be happy until then.