"Something about you, it's like an addiction. Hit me with your best shot, honey. I've got no reason to doubt you, 'cause some things hurt and you're my only virtue... And I'm virtually yours."

Song: Certain Things

Artist: James Arthur

(PLEASE listen to it because it really, really adds to the chapter!)

I could feel my heart warming, the stirrings of it attempting to put itself back together already starting as Harry ran his thumbs across my cheeks. My lips burned from when he had kissed me, the gentle touch of his to mine shocking me back to life as I realized just how much I had missed him. I had been so distracted by ache in my chest that I'd neglected to embrace my physical need for him, which was so apparent now I wondered how I possibly could have missed it.

His eyes glowed happily as he looked down at me, the hollow emptiness that had momentarily been held in them wiped clean for the time being. My hands gripped his shirt tightly as I pushed my body against his, needing to be as close to him as possible after what had felt like ages without him. It was like his gentle touch was slowly soothing the cracks that had formed in my heart after only seconds of giving in to him.

"I'm sorry, Hal," he whispered, his voice gentler than I'd ever heard it.

"I know," I whispered back, leaning my face into his hand. His head was ducked down so he was as close as possible, his gaze burning so strongly into mine I could feel it in my toes. My breathing kept catching in my throat, the intensity of the regret apparent in his eyes making my heartache. Yes, I had come back to him, but this was nowhere near resolved.

His eyes flicked back and forth between my own again, as if unsure if I was really standing here in front of him. Soft breath blew from between his parted lips, and I could feel his heart beating in his chest against mine, the heavy rhythm reflecting my own. He leaned forward again, the small space between us diminishing quickly before he hesitated, mere millimeters separating our lips. I couldn't take his uncertain actions anymore, desperately needing to feel his lips on mine again.

I shifted forward just enough to press my lips into his, my action enough to wake him up from whatever strange trance he had fallen in to. His hands pulled my face closer to his and my arms wove around his torso, my hands locking behind his back and pulling his body flush against mine. Our kiss was slow and gentle, but every movement of his lips against mine felt like another spark igniting the inferno inside me. Every inch of my body was alive as it tingled wherever he touched me.

His lips molded so perfectly against mine I almost forgot why I had even bothered spending the weekend away from him, the gentle kiss resonating through my body down to my very bones. With one final kiss against my lips, he pulled back again and let his forehead drop against mine. His hands dropped from my face as his arms wove around my neck, his elbows resting on my shoulders as his hands fell lazily behind my back. I watched his eyelashes fan out against his cheeks as he let his eyes close and a heavy sigh fell from his lips.

"We still have to talk about it, Harry," I whispered, knowing that was what he was thinking.

"I know," he murmured.

"Tonight," I said, keeping my tone gentle but stern. While I couldn't seem to stay away from him, he had to know he couldn't get away with doing whatever he wanted.

"I know," he repeated, his eyes still closed and his forehead still resting against mine. His weight rested on me, the heaviness of his arms draped lazily across my shoulders and the way his forehead rest against mine weighing me down in the best way possible. It was like he physically needed me to hold him up after all we had been through. My fingers raked gently across his lower back as I pulled him even closer, the two of us pushed against his car and completely draped across each other in every way.

"Can we go to your house?" I asked quietly. His green eyes finally opened as he looked at me, a soft smile tugging at his beautiful lips.

"Of course," he answered. I couldn't stop myself from leaning forward and pressing a slow, lingering kiss against his lips. He broke the kiss suddenly and pulled me tightly against him, his arms that had been hanging off my shoulders folding around me to hug me tightly to him. My face pressed into his neck as he buried his face in mine, and I could practically feel the pain leeching out of his body as he held me. He clung to me as I tightened my arms around his lean torso, each of us letting the ache that had stung so deeply burn away through our contact.

My lungs breathed in the already familiar smell of him, the unique scent calming my racing heart and easing the shallowness of my breath. What little remained of my tears soaked into Harry's light gray sweater. He took a deep breath, his chest expanding against me as he did so before he pulled back and kissed my temple quickly.

"Let's go," he said, releasing me suddenly and walking to his car, his hand pushing through his hair as he did so. I smiled softly at his sudden movement, certain it had been to stop himself from showing any more emotion than he already had. I wiped my thumbs across my lower cheeks once more before sniffing happily and moving to join Harry in his car.

He started it, music instantly blaring out of the speakers as we both jumped and his hand flashed out to turn it down. His eyes widened slightly before he laughed softly.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"It's alright," I said, smiling at him. We were both stuck in a weird in-between mood, ecstatic that I had forgiven him but dreading what was sure to be a painful conversation. I didn't know what to say as silence settled over us, the quiet tinkling of music and the hum of his car the only sounds present as he drove to his house. Now that I was free from his distracting grasp, my mind was flashing in a thousand different directions once more.

I had to be careful about how this conversation went, because it was essential for determining how the rest of our 'relationship' would go. If I let him get away with this easily, who was to say he wouldn't do something like it again? Not that I thought he would- it was clear to me now how sorry he really was and how much he regretted his actions. I also needed to think about how we were going to go on from this, because this hiccup was something neither of us had anticipated dealing with in our already precarious position.

Despite how anxious and confused I was feeling, I had no doubt in my mind that I had made the right decision in forgiving him. The way he was already starting to heal me simply by kissing me and holding me was too significant for me to deny. If I had insisted on being stubborn and remained cowering in my room, I would only be shattered into even more pieces rather than feeling the familiar warmth that Harry gave me flowing through my veins.

I blinked as the car stopped and I realized we were at his house. He gave me a tentative look, his careful behavior making me think he still didn't fully believe I was here and that I had come back to him. The caution in his eyes melted the small bit of lingering anger in me even though it was basically nonexistent at this point. Sometime over the weekend, the anger in my veins had burned out, a crushing pain filling the void almost instantly. Pain was what was still very prevalent in me now- pain and throbbing ache that refused to go away, despite the way it was ebbing out of me from being around Harry.

He pinched his lips together in a kind of grimace as he raised his eyebrows at me and moved to get out of the car. I followed him, closing my door softly and moving to copy his footsteps up the walkway. A slight tremor of his hand caught my eye as he moved to unlock the front door, his keys jingling softly as his hand shook. My heart clenched in my chest as I stepped forward, sliding my hand down the back of his arm as I moved to stand behind him. The shaking in his hand calmed slightly as I let my palm rest against the back of his hand, my chest pressing to his back as I tried to steady him. It was breaking my heart to see him like this- so unsure and despondent and exactly opposite of how he usually was. My lips pressed against his shoulder blade as my hand helped guide his to unlock the door. I could feel his chest rattle as he let out a deep breath, the door finally swinging open under his command.

His other hand rose to grab the keys and toss them on the table by the door, and the fingers of his hand that was pressed against mine straightened out, working themselves between the gaps created by my own. He gripped my hand tightly, his touches saying what he hadn't been able to say all night. I could feel how sorry he was in the way he moved and the way he touched me; I could feel it in the heaviness that seemed to cling to his body and the way he had trouble controlling his own actions.

He was hurting much worse than I had imagined, and it only made me wish I had given in to him sooner.

He pulled me slowly through the hallway, not bothering to turn on any of the lights before leading me to his room. I was glad he had chosen to go there, because there was an undeniable comfort to being in his bed with him. Knowing I was the only girl to ever be there seemed to be a good omen for our conversation, and it made me hopeful that this would go okay. His broken demeanor hurt me, but it also gave me hope that he wouldn't be resistant or have too much pride to finally say what he was really feeling.

Or maybe that was me.

He stopped once we got in his room, letting me decide where to sit. His hand was still clenching tightly to mine, and I closed the distance between us to press a light kiss to his shoulder before moving to pull him to the bed. He didn't resist as I pulled him to sit on the middle of the bed, his long legs stretching out in front of him as I settled myself between them, my knees from my crossed legs resting on his thighs as I faced him.

He leaned forward, his hands resting gingerly on the skin just above my knees as if he were afraid he wasn't allowed to touch me. I sighed heavily, wishing he'd perk up a little. I slid my hands up his arms before running them over his shoulders, finally resting them against the base of his neck and pulling him forward. Our lips met in the middle as I kissed him softly, my mouth lingering on his own before I pulled back.

"Harry, it'll be alright," I reassured him, smiling gently at him. He pulled his lips into his mouth momentarily before releasing them with a sigh.

"I'm just so sorry, Hal," he said for what felt like the tenth time already.

"I know," I replied.

"No, you don't. I can't believe I did that to you for no reason... it was so fucked up and I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," I started slowly. "You just... you hurt me so much, Harry."

"I know, Hal. I wish I could take all that back, honestly. It was just so stupid," he said, his voice growing annoyed at himself. His fingers curled tightly against my thighs, and I let my hands fall from his shoulders to press over the tops of them, relaxing his muscles. He let out another heavy sigh.

"You won't do that again, right?" I asked quietly.

"Never again, Hal, I promise," he said sincerely, his eyes reconnecting with mine after they had fallen to the bed between us.

"You promise?"

"I promise. To see you that hurt..." he trailed off, shaking his head. "I've never hated myself more."

"Harry, don't say that," I said, hating the idea of him hating himself. "You're making me so much better already."

His lips were parted as he listened to me in disbelief. "You're better? Halle, you're already way too good for me."

My eyebrows pinched together, his words taking a painful stab at my heart. He had such a low opinion of himself that it killed me.

"Harry, I'm not. Those few days when I we were supposedly done... I don't know if I've ever been through anything so painful," I admitted.

"Me neither," he said quietly. "I've never... hurt like that before. I really thought I'd fucked it up for good."

"You didn't, Harry, but if that happens again... it will," I told him gently but sternly. That couldn't happen again. Ever.

"It won't," he said earnestly.

"I believe you," I replied. My fingers tangled with his, the heat of them burning into my thighs.

"I hate that I hurt you."

"I know." I felt like I had repeated that a thousand times already.

"I just can't believe you're here," he said quietly, his eyes searching mine intently. "I thought for sure you wouldn't come back to me."

"I knew I would," I told him. "Even the night I left you, I knew I'd come back."

"Then why did you go, Hal?" he begged to know, his eyes pinching tighter as the painful memory of me leaving him struck his features.

"I had to, Harry. Don't you see that?" I said, my voice catching in my throat as the images from that night flashed through my mind again.

"I understand why. It just... killed me to see you walking away," he admitted quietly, his head hanging low as his fingers never stopped their weaving in and out of mine.

"Harry..." I said quietly, steeling myself to say what would either be very brave or very stupid.

"What?" he said, lifting his eyes to look at me once more.

"Whatever this is between us... it's not normal," I told him slowly, hoping he understood what I was trying to say. "This isn't how most people feel when they're in... relationships."

He blinked slowly, and his lip pulled between his teeth as he absorbed my words.

"I figured so... because everything about you scares the shit out of me but I can't seem to be away from you without losing it."

His words echoed in my head as my heart pounded erratically in my chest. To hear him admit something so vulnerable made me feel like I was glowing, and I couldn't stop the grin that split across my face.

"That's really how you feel?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, nodding slowly as he held my eye contact. This conversation was so loaded with emotion I felt like I couldn't possibly absorb any more. "I just... I want to be yours."

A shudder of a breath sucked between my lips at his words, tears once again stinging at my eyes but for a completely different reason this time. These words were the words I needed to hear to heal the wounds he had inflicted; this was what I needed to give me faith once again in our relationship, and the idea that it could actually go somewhere beautiful.

"If that's what you want, then that makes me really happy," I told him. I vaguely noticed our hands had stopped moving against each other's and were simply clinging together now.

"Would you let me?" he asked, his voice so low and deep and quiet I could hardly hear him.

"Would I let you what?" I needed to hear him say it.

"Would you let me be yours?" Both of us held our breath as he waited for my answer, every possible whisper of air stolen from my lungs.

"In a heartbeat," I answered honestly. There was nothing I wanted more than to be able to claim him as mine. For what felt like the first time, a smile stretched across his beautiful face, the grin lighting up his features and making his green eyes that I loved so much glow.

One of his hands unlocked itself from mine before reaching up to wrap around to the nape of my neck, pulling me forward so he could press a kiss to my lips. I could tell he was trying to reign in his smile while he kissed me, but he failed as his lips split to reveal the most devastatingly beautiful smile I was certain I had ever seen. His hand didn't leave it's place where it burned against my skin as his forehead dropped to mine once more.

"Then I am," he said. "You win."

I grinned, his perfect smile infecting me.

"I win? What do I win?" I asked, my wide smile making it difficult to sit still. Such a sudden euphoric feeling flooded through me I felt like crying all over again, but this time tears of joy. Something major had changed tonight, and it was palpable in the air that surrounded us.

"My heart," he replied, his voice so heavy with emotion and laden with sincerity I could feel it seeping through my skin.

I had won his heart, but little did I know, he had already won mine a long time ago.

"And you keep coming back, coming back again. Keep running round, running round, running round my head.... And there's certain things that I adore, and there's certain things that I ignore, but I'm certain that I'm yours."

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