"She didn't want him to run, he didn't want her to fear."

Song: Flawless

Artist: The Neighbourhood

Harry's lips pressed lightly against my lips before he rolled off me, landing on his back next to me as we both tried to catch our breath. My eyes stayed closed as I reveled in the aftershocks of my high, a blissful buzzing still searing through my body. I could feel the heat radiating off of him as his arm pressed into mine, his skin damp from sweat.

We both lay in silence for a few minutes, letting our bodies come back down and our minds clear the haze that had settled over them. As the minutes passed by, my breathing slowly evened out and my thoughts started creeping back, bringing with them the uncertainty and frustration that I had felt before. We needed to really talk about whatever we were going to do, and we needed to do it tonight before we both lost our minds.

It was clear we couldn't stay away from each other, physically, and it was becoming more and more obvious that we were both lying through our teeth when we said we were nothing more. Harry's bitter tone earlier when he had demanded I repeat the damaging phrase over and over made it clear that even though he wanted me to say it, it was a masochistic want, a pain-driven need to hear the words and hurt himself even though he knew I didn't mean them. He wanted that pain only to revel in the satisfaction when we both inevitably gave in.

So far we had both been too stubborn to actually say almost anything real; the only truthful utterings from either of us were the ones that had occurred last night only to be negated by my abrupt flight in the morning.

We were both either stubborn or cowardly- I wasn't sure which.

This couldn't go on forever or we'd destroy each other.

"Holy shit," Harry breathed quietly, his breath finally slowing down to a normal pace as well. I glanced sideways at him; it was difficult to see in the dark, but I could see the angular planes of his face and the way his hair was shoved back haphazardly, the sweat from his body clinging to the strands. His eyes were closed gently as he breathed in. He was so beautiful it hurt.

I could hardly speak from the overwhelming amount of thoughts running through my head, so I just let out a little half laugh, agreeing with his exclamation. I desperately wanted to curl into his side and let my fingers tickle over the black ink stained into his skin, but I didn't know if I could; our 'relationship' was even more ill-defined than it had been an hour ago, any sense of boundaries I may have set this morning by leaving obliterated.

"I'm still mad at you," he said suddenly, his voice low and quiet and lacking any actual anger. I got the sense that he meant he was still hurt rather than angry, because that's exactly what his tone implied.

"And I'm still mad at you," I returned before deciding to throw all caution to the wind and roll into his side anyway. I shifted under his arm and let it lazily fall across my back, snuggling myself against his still hot skin. My head lay gingerly on his shoulder and I held my breath as I waited for him to shove me off. Much to my surprise, he didn't; he froze for a few seconds as if he hadn't been expecting me to touch him, but after a few moments I felt the wide expanse of his palm press into my hip as he let his arm hug around me.

Wow.

"Are you?" he asked quietly, more of a statement than a question. His tone was so different from when we had argued outside of the party; then it had been harsh, angry, unfeeling, but now it was much calmer and gentler, like he had let some of his anger go after what we'd just done. Perhaps the physicality of our relationship had helped defuse some of the hurt rage he had been holding on to.

"Yes, but I think it's more... hurt than mad," I said, finally admitting that it had wounded me to see him with that other girl more than just pissed me off.

"That hurt you?" he asked with a hint of surprise. Why he was surprised was beyond me, because despite my best efforts, so far I had been pretty worthless at hiding my feelings.

"Yeah. A lot more than I expected it to," I said quietly. My hand gingerly rose from my side to land on his stomach. Little circles were traced against his smooth skin as my fingers danced across the surface. It was easier to admit this to him when I didn't have to look into his burning green eyes.

He remained quiet, not responding to my admission.

"Why did you do it?" I asked, my voice dropping to an even softer volume. I knew why, but I wanted to hear him say it.

"Why did I do what? Come on to that girl?" His voice echoed through his chest and I could feel the vibrations under my cheek.

"Yeah."

He was quiet again for a long time before answering. My heart pounded in my chest as I waited. "Because you left."

I took a shuddering breath, afraid he would say that and confirm my suspicions. This really was all my fault, and I had no one to blame but myself.

"So if I would have stayed... you wouldn't have done that?" I asked sheepishly.

"If you would have stayed I'd have had no reason to," he responded. His response confused me; did he mean because he'd have me as in me, or he'd have me as in wouldn't need to find someone else for the time being?

"Why did you leave?" he asked, following up his statement before I could respond. His voice was impossibly deep, and so quiet I almost couldn't hear him. Reluctantly, I pushed myself off my side and leaned my arm across his chest to prop myself up so I could look at him. Every inch of my skin that was pressing into his felt like it was on fire. I needed to be able to see his reactions, no matter how much it terrified me.

"And tell me the truth," he demanded, his eyebrows pulling tightly over his eyes as he watched me closely. I swallowed harshly and inhaled sharply before I spoke, steeling myself to tell him the truth, no matter how much it scared me.

"Because... I'm terrified," I admitted, my eyes holding tightly to his fierce gaze. I had already admitted as much, but the reason behind my pathetic fear was yet to be revealed to him. He rolled his eyes, impatient with my vague answer.

"You've already said that, Halle."

A frown fell across my face, upset by his flash of irritation. I could see why he was irritated- I was pulling him in two different directions. Most of the time, I refused to acknowledge my actual feelings for him and insisted that I wanted nothing more from him than sex, but other times, like when I'd snapped earlier tonight out of hurt and jealousy, I acted like I wanted more. Then when he would demand an explanation, all I could offer up was that I was scared from offenses he hadn't committed. He couldn't win, no matter what he did all because I had too many walls and too much damage already inflicted on me by someone else.

It wasn't fair.

He started to shift beneath me, as if trying to create some space and get away from me. It surprised me when tears pricked at the back of my eyes; this was going all wrong- he was getting annoyed again by my lack of expression when I was supposed to finally be telling him what I was really feeling.

"Stop, please," I pleaded, my fingers pressing into his skin to stop him from moving away from me. My head dropped as my lips pressed into his chest, silently pleading with him to stay cuddled next to me. As soon as my lips touched his skin, he stopped his resistance and relaxed once more. A short burst of relief flooded through me.

"Are you gonna stop with this 'I-don't-care' bullshit then? Because you act like you don't care but it's pretty clear that you do when you're shoving me off another girl," he said, his tone less harsh than it had been a few seconds ago.

"That's why I'm scared, Harry, because I do care. I'm afraid if I let you in anymore I won't be able to handle it if it... goes bad," I said, my pulse thumping nervously through my veins. "Seeing you with that girl tonight... it was like you stabbed me in the chest."

There. I had finally admitted it. I cared too much already and seeing him with someone else had made me lose my mind and gutted me at the same time.

"Then why did you leave, Halle? If you didn't want me to be with someone else, why didn't you just stay?" he asked, his tone so laden with emotion I could practically feel it. His eyes were searing into mine and I couldn't look away.

"I don't know, I thought if I left it would make things easier for us both but clearly that was wrong."

"Clearly."

"I should have stayed, Harry... I'm sorry," I mumbled, my lips pressing into his skin again without even realizing it.

"I wish you would have," he admitted quietly. I was surprised when I felt his hand rise to my back, his fingers tickling lightly as he let them rake gently down my skin. It was one of the first gentle touches he'd given me, besides last night when he had really kissed me for the first time.

"When you were... with that girl," I started, cringing at the thought. "Did you still want it to be me?"

I chewed my lip nervously, afraid I had wounded him too deeply by leaving and that he would decide he didn't like me anymore, despite his admission that he wished I had stayed and the tentative way his hand trailed down my back.

"Well I was still pretty mad at you," he admitted. "And it was the only way I could think to get you off my mind, to be with someone else, but it didn't work."

"So..."

"Of course I did. Even though I was pissed and... hurt... I wanted it to be you."

My head was ducked down, my mouth resting against his skin, and a smile started to spread across my lips at his words. Relief so strong flooded through me I was surprised I didn't shudder. He still liked me.

"Good," I said simply, raising my head to look at him more directly, my smile widening even more. A hint of amusement flashed across his features.

"Oh, good, is it?" he said, his tone teasing and light, drastically different from the heavy, loaded tone he had just been using.

I nodded and bit my lip to try and hide my smile.

"Yes," I swallowed nervously. "I want... I want to be the only one you want to kiss."

He watched me closely for a while, examining my nervous expression, his gaze lingering on my lip bit into my mouth before I remembered how much that turned him on. I released it quickly, a guilty smile playing on my lips.

"You are," he said quietly, dragging his gaze from my mouth to lock onto mine. My heart jolted in my chest, ecstatic at his admission. His fingers slid from my back to cup the nape of my neck, pulling me toward him easily as his lips found mine. They pressed into mine gently, the spaces between our own lips filled perfectly by each other's and igniting the fire that was still smoldering in the pit of my stomach. His lips molded around mine carefully, kissing me slowly and feeling every minute movement before he pulled back and let his head fall to the pillow again. The muscles of his chest relaxed beneath my hands.

"What are we doing, Halle?" he asked quietly, his hand still cradling my neck as his fingers dug into my hair. "'Cause it's obvious we can't stay away from each other and you've finally stopped lying to everyone and admitted that you actually do care, so what do we do?"

"You knew I was lying?" I asked, ignoring the rest of his question for the time being.

He gave me an extremely skeptical look. "Yes." His tone suggested that it had been pretty obvious, just as I suspected.

"Oh," I stated simply. I let my fingers resume their light tracing of his skin, and his thumb ran lightly across my cheek.

"So, like I said, what do we do?"

"I don't know," I admitted. As terrified as I was to pursue something further than simply sleeping with him, I knew I couldn't lie to myself any longer. I wanted more, and there was no way I'd be able to watch him with anyone other than myself without losing my sanity. To continue to deny these facts would only serve to hurt me further, which would counteract all my logic in the first place. It was time to fully cave, and we both knew it.

"We could... I don't know, go out once? Like on a date?" I suggested, unsure of how this really worked. I had never even had a relationship like this before, much less try to transition one into something else. He frowned, the idea of a date extremely foreign to him.

"I've never done that," he admitted.

"Well I've never done this, so there you go," I said, gesturing between us and indicating to our strange, seemingly-strictly physical relationship. Or at least what had been a strictly physical relationship. He was quiet as he pondered my suggestion, his eyebrows knitting tightly together and his teeth nibbling on his lip.

"We could do that," he agreed tentatively. "But I'm not your boyfriend."

His expression was suddenly stern as he raised an eyebrow at me, making it clear that I did not yet have full claim over him.

"And I am not your girlfriend," I responded, actually relieved by his distaste for the terms. I was nowhere near ready to go down that road; it was difficult enough for me to admit my feelings and take the step towards going on an actual date.

"Glad we're clear," he said, laughing lightly. His laugh was so beautiful, and I wanted to hear more of it. His face lit up when he smiled, which he rarely did so far in our... relationship. I had seen him laugh several times, but almost always from across a crowded room as I failed to tear my gaze from him and tried to ignore the jealousy that flared up for whoever it was making him laugh. I wanted to be that person.

"But, I think we should have rules," I stated, needing some structure now that we had finally decided to throw caution to the wind and lay our feelings out on the table. He nodded in agreement.

"Okay, like what?"

"Like... no hooking up with anyone else," I said, the image of Harry's lips lowering to that girl's ear still fresh in my mind. I shivered as I tried to shake the thought from my brain. He didn't answer right away, and I was afraid he was going to shoot down my first and quite frankly, most important request.

"Yeah, I agree," he finally said. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding and nodded happily.

"And... I don't know, do you have any?"

"No leaving in the morning without an explanation," he said quickly. Too quickly, it seemed, because he sucked his lips into his mouth and tried to appear nonchalant. It occurred to me how much that must have really affected him if he spit out that rule so quickly. Guilt surged through me at the thought of him waking up, cold and alone, in an empty bed wondering what he'd done wrong.

"Deal," I said, ducking my head down again and pressing a kiss over his heart, trying to take away some of the ache I must have caused him. He smiled softly at my action.

"I have one more, unless you have any?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. I shook my head, unable to come up with any other major rules. As long as he didn't touch any other girls, I would be happy.

"No, what's your rule?" I asked, nervous as to what it could be but knowing I would agree anyway.

"No lying. Ever. Not about something you've done, not about what you're feeling, and no more bullshit acting like you don't care when you do, 'cause that counts as lying," he said firmly. I was surprised he had come up with this rule himself, because he'd also have to follow it. Not that he had ever really lied to me, it just seemed like an odd rule for a man to make.

"Okay," I agreed softly. I liked his rule, but it scared me; it was like he fully expected me to attempt to lie about something, even if he didn't know what it was. In all honesty, I didn't have a good track record, what with me lying practically every chance I got about how I felt about him.

"Okay," he repeated, a soft smile pulling at his lips as he retired his stern tone. "If we go to sleep, are you still gonna be here in the morning?"

I grinned at him and let my fingers trace up his neck and along his jaw. "That's the rule, isn't it?"

He rolled his eyes playfully, something I wasn't sure I'd ever seen him do. "That's the rule, but do you want to stay this time?"

"Yes, I want to stay," I answered quietly, inching myself closer to his lips.

"Then stay," he requested, his voice no more than a whisper. He lifted his head just enough to press his lips against mine, their warmth leaking through my skin and spreading to my entire body. I pulled back just enough to mumble my reply, my lips nudging his as I spoke.

"Okay."

"The only flaw, you are flawless, but I just can't wait for love to destroy us."

Thanks for being patient and for reading! I really, really appreciate all the feedback, thank you so much! Please keep voting, commenting, and recommending if you like it :)