The room was still. K had just turned off the TV and was staring out at the garden, watching a little boy running around. Presumably his dad was sitting on the grass nearby, watching with a smile on his face.

She could guess the scenario. His mother was probably in this hospital somewhere, nothing life threatening, or the dad would look more worried. Perhaps she broke a bone, or rolled her ankle. Or maybe she'd had a baby, and her family was coming to visit.

As K watched the little boy playing on the grass she pondered their situation, her mind reaching to far worse places than her own.
After a few minutes, the dad called to the boy, and stood. The little boy grabbed his dad's hand and, arms swinging, they disappeared from view, heading back towards the nearest entrance.

Once they disappeared, K just watched the flowers and leaves swaying gently in the summer breeze. It was a pleasant day outside. Not too hot. Nurse Eloise had come earlier and tried to get her to go outside.

"Your physiotherapist said that you need to be walking around, Brooke."

"I am walking around," she said, "just not outside."

Elouise has just let out a sigh and left. The longer K was here, the less patient the nurses seem to get with her. She had been treated like she was fragile and broken ever since she snapped at Nurse Harriet her first day.

It seemed that the nurses were forgetting more and more that K was 'emotionally vulnerable' as she had overheard one day, from nurses speaking in the hallway.

Elouise was the best of them. She was always the kindest and most patient. But even Elouise was becoming intolerant to K's surly and unwilling nature, though she wouldn't admit it.

K didn't care. She would be out of there in another few days, and then she could be bitter and mourn her shattered existence in peace.

She sees the little boy and his father again, this time accompanied by a woman carrying a tiny baby in her arms, grinning, and laughing, looking exhausted but in absolute love.

K had been right.

They were going home, she could tell by the bag the dad was lugging along. K watched them walk past, presumably heading towards the hospital car park.

Then, once they were out of sight, she picked up her remote and shut the blinds, so she was left in darkness. She took a deep breath, holding back tears, then stood, slid on her pair of blue slippers, and headed for the door.

She shuffled along the hallway, playing with the edge of her hospital gown. A nurse passed her, but took no note. K was allowed out in the hallways. She was essentially allowed to do anything she wanted but leave.

She couldn't leave yet. She wasn't allowed.

She headed to the nearest set of elevators. She had decided she would go see Ella, for their daily game of noughts and crosses.

Ella wasn't incredibly sociable, K had learned. This was okay, though, because K rarely felt like talking anyway. Yet, they still needed each other's company. Or at least K needed Ella's company. Ella had a boyfriend, that visited her daily, and one time K had gone to see her, their was a set of greying haired parents, who adorned their 'poor baby girl' in affection.

What K wouldn't give that those parents were her own, coming to see her.

But her parents were dead. Her caring boyfriend wasn't going to come and visit, either.

K was alone, but for Ella.

So, regardless of how silent their meetings were sometimes, K relied on them to keep sane.

This day, when K went to Ella's room, she was alone. She slipped inside, and the blonde greeted her with a soft smile. "Hey."

"Hey." K replied, sitting in the chair by Ella's bed.

They sat in silence for a few moments. Ella was watching her intently, a strange look on her face. After a little while she sighed, and looked away, to the window. Ella's room didn't look out onto the garden, but rather the carpark, and in the distance, the city skyline.

"You're going home soon, aren't you?" She said, distantly.

"Yeah." K said, quietly. "Tomorrow, hopefully. How about you?"

Ella shrugged. "The doctors don't quite know yet. They think that it's best they keep me here for a little while longer for observation. They don't want anything going wrong at home."

K nodded, and they fell into silence again. Then K lifted her eyes and looked over at the city, too.

"Do you know-" Ella began, then hesitated and shook her head.

K lifted an eyebrow, curiously. "Do I know what?"

Ella shrugged. "I was just wondering if you knew what they were doing with the company. Are you taking over?"

K shook her head. "No. My parents deeds were quite clear that they didn't want me to be pinned down running it. That task is being given to their 'next in command,' some business associate or executive. All I have to do is own it, and he runs it for me. I'm not sure exactly how it works."

Ella just nodded. "Well, it's good that you have a chance to have a break, and come to terms with... it all."

K was silent. The truth was, she didn't want a break. The past year had been enough of a 'break' for her. She wanted to do something, to work through the pain that had been living inside her, to somehow cast it aside and get on with her life. Yet she couldn't. She didn't know how.

She didn't know how to work through the pain. She didn't have a way to work through it. She didn't have a purpose, or a point in her life. She was alone in a world of pain and vulnerability and was scared to leave the safety and comfort of the hospital. At least within those walls people cared if she got up in the morning.

Out there was a different story.

"It's a nice day." Ella said, breaking into the silence that encompassed the two of them. K made a noise of approval. Ella looked over at her, the same strange look on her face. "We should go outside, into the garden. It'll be nice out there."

K met Ella's eyes, and they were still, looking into each others faces silently for a few moments. There was something strange playing across Ella's features. K couldn't pinpoint it exactly, but it was almost like the shadows of fear.

"Okay." She said, and began to pull herself from bed. K stood once again, and helped Ella up. The blonde haired girl was still quite weak. She had been closer to the blast than K had been, and over the course of their time in hospital, Ella had only really gotten worse while K improved. K could see the way Ella looked when she thought no one was looking, and knew that the blonde was scared.

Is it better to be alone and alive, or dying but surrounded by people?

Of course, K didn't think Ella was dying. But the fear was still there.

She helped her climb from bed and helped her put her own slippers on, then the two girls slipped from the room, and headed for the elevators. K's arm was steady, and Ella clung to her for support.

Like a dysfunctional team, they made their way, together, down to the garden. Ella almost fell when her hand left K's arm briefly when leaving the elevator, but K caught her, and the two continued on.

The hallways seemed busier than when K had gone up, or perhaps it was just the new threat of having to care for the weak girl who clung to her arm.

They passed a vacant wheelchair, and K asked if Ella wanted to sit, but the blonde shook her head.

"No." She whispered, looking persistent. "I'll sit once we get outside."

K could read the underlying meaning behind her words. Ella wanted to prove that she could still walk, and still manage herself. She didn't want to admit her weakness, even if she was practically solely relying on K's support to walk.

They reached the exit out into the gardens and the automatic doors slid open, revealing the cool breeze K had noticed earlier, watching the little boy and his dad in her room.

The two stumbled into the fresh air, and as they stepped away from the building, the warm afternoon sunlight hit their skin, and they stopped.
They stood frozen in the sun, both just taking in the warmth as it washed over them.

K had forgotten that outside felt so nice.

Then Ella almost fell again, and K grabbed her as she stumbled back. Ella's skin was pale, and she looked very weak. K slowly set her down on the grass, so she was laying down, and then lay beside her, and grabbed her hand for reassurance.

Ella shut her eyes. "Sorry. I'm fine. I'm just..."

She went silent, and K simply squeezed her hand softly. "Do you need me to go get a nurse?"

Ella shook her head faintly. "No." She whispered. "Just give me a few seconds for the world to stop spinning."

K looked at her friend's face with concern, but obeyed her wishes and continued lying on the ground. Yet the longer she lay there, in silence, with Ella breathing heavily beside her, the weaker her resolve grew. Her will to do what Ella wanted was slowly corroded away as the silence ebbed into her.

She took a look over at Ella's face, which was scrunched up, clearly in pain, and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Ella. I'm going to go get help."

Ella just shook her head weakly, but didn't make a sound. Perhaps she couldn't make a sound.

K ran back inside and into the busy hallway. There was no one around, and she could feel panic rising within her, Ella's hurt face imbedded into her mind.

With the fear surging through her, she began to shout.

"Help! Come quick! There's a patient outside, and I think something is wrong with her!"

She ran down the hallway, calling for help, until she came to a nurses station, with just the receptionist inside. She panted her warning out, and shook her head. "Please."  she said desperately, "Help her!"

And then there were people running, a stretcher, a doctor, and the fear was growing. Ella was being taken somewhere, but not her room. Emergency. The doctor was shouting. K ran along with them in her hospital gown, desperately trying to keep sight of her pale faced friend.

The stretcher disappeared into a surgery room, and a nurse held K back from following it in.

"Will she be alright?" K asked in a stricken voice she tried to get past the woman.

"We don't know, sweetheart. The physical exertion was probably too much." The nurse said. "She shouldn't have been walking so far. She's only been onto a frame, walking a couple of metres. Walking all the way down to the garden unassisted was probably too much for her."

Tears pulled to K's eyes. "She wasn't unassisted. I was there. I should have helped her more! I should have made her get in a wheelchair. I had no idea of how weak she was!"

The nurse was just silent, and laid a soft hand on K's arm. "Come on, dear. I'll take you back to your room. We'll update you once we know of her progress. Okay?"

Her vision swimming, K nodded, and let the nurse half lead, and half drag her back through the hallways and to her room. Back in the confines of her own four walls, K began to cry.

Is it better to be alone and alive, or dying but surrounded by people?

K didn't know. And now, thanks to her, Ella might truly be dying just as she had hoped not.

Why did it seem like she always seemed to ruin everything? Why was it always her fault?

It was as though everything she touched was destroyed.

While Ella was in surgery, K cried. Ella was gone, and K broke.