"Sometimes there's so much we would like to change, but it's just not possible to do it alone, at times it's better to watch from the sidelines than throw yourself into the deep end when you yourself don't know how to swim."

"But what if you do know how to swim? What if you are a life guard and it's your job to save those drowning?Wouldn't it be worth it to throw yourself in the deep end?"

"Even a life gaurd who is trained to save people can only save a limited amount of people before the current gets too strong to save anymore people."

"So you're saying that the life gaurd shouldn't save anyone at all and just think of his own safety only?"

"No , I'm saying like how the life guard saves who is in his capibility to save and leaves the rest to the other life gaurds or unfortunately leaves some to drown, but saves himself. Sometimes we have to be the same.

We should prevent people from wrong to the best of our ability, what is not in our capacity we should leave it to other people and if no one is really willing to help it's really not our fault because we tried our best. Like how it's not the life gaurds fault if people drown and he was unable to help them, because he did warn them from the very beginning that from a certain point swimming is off limits.
The same way it's not our fault if people throw themselves into destruction and drown themselves in their own wrong, because we did our duty of prohibiting them."

He closed the door slowly, locking the door behind him.

He carefully hung the key on the hook.

He hoped no one would be awake, but that was foolish to hope for.
Even if everyone were asleep now, they would have noticed that he was not home when they went to the masjid for fajr Salaah.

He tiptoed up the stairs, cringing with every creak the stairs emitted.

Once he reached the top of the stairs, he sighed in relief.

The house was quite, everyone slept after fajr Salaah.

He knew they would be up in the next hour, getting ready for school and work.

He would not only have to face Zahra today, but his parents as well. He was dead meat!

Sighing he opened his door, closing it softly behind him.

When he turned around his heart dropped to the floor.

His father sat on his bed, his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, he read an Islamic book.

Folding the corner of the page, he closed the book,setting it aside, he took off his glasses,folding it and resting it on the book, with a stern glare he uttered the four words that Suhaib was dreading.

"We need to talk!"

Suhaib nodded, swallowing the lump of anxiety that had formed in his throat.

Silently he walked towards the bed, settling as  far away from his father as possible.

He looked down at his lap, wringing his wrists nervously.

His father stared at him for a long while only increasing his nervousness, until finally he broke the tensed silence.

"You and Zahra were always most beloved to me, not only because both of you are the eldest and are very helpful and loving, but also because you both never ever let your mother and I down. The two of you were always well aware of your limits and both of you never took advantage of that partial freedom we gave our children. You are not a completely grown man as yet, neither are you a child that doesn't understand wrong from right, you are old enough to understand good from bad, but perhaps you are not old enough to understand the repercussions of doing bad. "

Luqmaan paused, waiting for an answer.

When all he saw was his sons head bowed in shame with
no intention of speaking, he continued.

"I know you have always been truthful and I expect you to be truthful now. What has been going on lately? Who are you spending all your time with? And where were you last night and all the nights preceedong last night?"

Suhaib inhaled, still looking at his lap.

He never intended to lie when he had entered the house and his intentions were still the same. Perhaps his father could help him out, he didnt think he could do it on his own.

He related every detail to his father, how they became friends in school, their discussions, their habits and behaviour, the mysterious person in the alley, their "den", also the tea that was supposed to be something to shout about.

He skipped out the part where he fell asleep straight after, he still wasn't sure whether he was just tired or there was some suspicious ingredient in the tea, he was still unsure so it wasn't good to doubt.

He also informed his father that they had just been eating, playing play station and goofing around last night and he didnt know when he had fallen asleep.

He told him about Talhas old father, his deceased mother, even the helper Thembi which they laughed about and also Talha's abrupt behaviour towards his father.

Lastly he confessed his reasons for befriending them and remaining friends with them and how all his attempts so far had been unsuccessful.

Luqmaan gave his son a small smile.

He patted his back, a mixture of emotions passing through his eyes.

Here he thought his son was involved in drugs or something worse, when all he was trying to do all this time was be a good muslim friend.

While he was right in his own way, he didn't realise where he was wrong and he was happy that he had shared every detail with him so that he could advise his dear son.

" My son, my Suhaib!" Luqmaan patted the bed, beckoning him to come closer.

Suahib conceded, noticing his fathers calm and collected demeanour.

He wasn't sure if he was genuinely calm or if this was just the calm before the storm.

He hoped it was the former.

"I acknowledge your good intentions and I must say MaShaAllah not alot of people have the concern that you do. Allah Ta'allah commands us to command people with good and prohibit them from evil, and so did His beloved Nabi صلى ألله عليه و سلم . At the same time we are also warned not to become extremely close to people who are invoolved in evil, for we will eventually get involved in the same thing. Especially if you are alone my son, it's not easy to change a whole group of people. I'm not saying it's impossible there are individuals who influenced alot of people, who were the means of many changing the greatest example being Nabi صلى ألله عليه و سلم, but we can never be on that level. We need to do what is in our capability and make dua to Allah Ta'allah after that. You cannot be so busy rectifying others that you forget about your ownslef.

Like I've read once whoever knows himself will be preoccupied rectifying his own affairs rather than looking for mistakes in others. I'm not saying you must not prohibit them from evil, by all means you must! Just do not spend alot of time with them, try your best to restrict it to school only.

The rest of your time you must make dua that Allah guides them and you for we can make an effort, but Allah is the one that guides who He wishes to, and you spend your time rectifying your own mistakes and endeavour to become a better person every day."

Suhaib nodded.

Everything his father said made sense, he was only finishing himself up.

He looked into his fathers eyes, a smile of appreciation etched across his face.

"InShaAllah I will try my best to do what is correct. JazakAllah for the advise."

Luqmaan smiled, he patted his back, masking his own smile he put on a stern expression.

"No more visiting the "den" unless I give you permission. Is that understood?"

Suhaib looked down once again.

"Yes it's understood."

"Good! Now how about we go and visit Yahya whenever we are free, it seems like the man needs a companion. You can accompany me and spend time with your friends while I chat with Yahya. That way Yahya will have a new friend and you can spend time with your friends under my watchful gaze."

"That's actually a great idea."

"Alright then. Get some sleep. You have to be up in half an hour. Your matric farewell is today."

Suhaibs eyes widened, he had actually forgotten about that.

Holy brocomoli! He was finally done with school !

Luqmaan walked towards the door, hoping that his son would take heed.

Just as he touched the handle of the door, Suhaib followed him.

"Abba", he said in a barley audible voice.

Luqmaan turned around, almost hitting the door with the force of Suhaibs hug.

" I'm sorry I stressed you out. "

Luqmaan patted his back.

"It's okay mistakes happen and it's good to learn from our mistakes. You should really apologise to your mother, she hasn't been well for a few days and you were so involved in your own web that you didn't even notice. She's been very upset about that."

Suhaib stepped back, guilt washing over his eyes.

"I really didn't know she was ill!"

"Zahra on the other hand is a fire breathing dragon. I will leave it to you to pacify her. She refused to go to bed until I scolded her. Only Allah knows if she even fell asleep. She's been fretting about you the most, Suhaib. You better treat her to some ice cream or doughnuts. We all know only junk food melts her heart."

Luqmaan winked.

Suhaib laughed.

"Good idea! I shall put the plan to action. That's an important tool for her husband as well. Be sure to inform him on the Nikaah day."

Luqmaan chuckled.

"I will leave that to you."

Suhaib smirked.

"It will be my honour."

Luqmaan closed the door behind him, relieved that his anger hadn't overpowered his patience.

He stepped into the room, slowly making sure not to disturb his beloved wife.

She slept peacefully, her black hair with a few streaks of white, plaited neatly. He walked towards her gently pecking her forehead and pulling the duvet cover upto her chin. He strode over to his side of the bed, snuggling into its warmth, as he fell into a deep slumber.

The school hall buzzed with chatter, the clinking of glasses, the clattering of dishes, the serene breeze that blew through the large doors, the decor everything was perfect, besides for the impromptu bar and the music.

The setting of the hall was done meticulously and elaborately, every year the grade elevens would host and the organize the matric farewell.

Unfortunately because it was not a Muslim school there were certain things they could not avoid, like tipsy drunk people and music.

Suhaib's eyes roamed the decor of the hall, impressed with their choice of colours and decor. It was simple yet elegant.

The ceiling was draped, with twinkling stud lights, white table cloths covered the round tables, eight white clad chairs stood around each table, the centre pieces a long vase with artificial wheat coloured ferns, powder blue serveittes folded into different designs rested on each plate along with the cutlery.

He shook his head, the hall was set well, no doubt, yet he felt this was so unnecessary.

There were thousands who were dying without food, without proper medical care, without a decent shelter over their heads and here they were spending money on a function that really didn't need to be held, when they could have saved up all the same money and donated it to one of the countries in which people were suffering.

He made a vow then and there that he would not have a lavish and extravagant function when he would get married.

He would find a spouse that would be willing to have a simple Walima and would whole heartedly agree to donate the rest of the money they could have spent on the Walima to the poor.

He strode out of the hall, feeling guilty for being a part of this function.

He sat on a bench far away from the sound of chatter and music.

He gazed at the cloudless sky. The stars twinkled beautifully, the moon smiled down upon the earth, as if grateful to be far away from the evils that the earth contained.

He sighed, interlocking his hands.

He thought of the conversation he had with his father earlier on, he really needed to apologise to Zahra.
He had successfully avoided her for the time being, or she had refused to be breathe the same air as him, neverthelees he would speak to her later tonight.

He apologised to his mother, who being the soft and kind hearted woman she was, forgave him without a fuss or questions.

Now that he actually sat and pondered, he had lost out on a lot family time the last few months and this only made him feel more guilty.

The thought of Taeeba's closed off behaviour suddenly struck him, how long ago had that been! Didn't he promise to speak to her and get her to open up!

Ya Allah !

Why was he such a mess?

Only Allah knows what his little sister was upset about, all these months he was running after his friends trying to rectify them, forgetting about his little sister in the process!

He had to discuss this with Zahra, she was becoming a teacher she would know better how to deal with kids.

"You know Laaeq I don't understand why we are forced to help out here, this is so so haraam! I mean did you see how much of alcohol there is! And the music! Ya Allah forgive us! All this is not necessary!"

The voice of some girl who voiced the same thoughts as him, brought him out of his thoughts.

He lifted his head, only able to see two silhouettes in the darkness.

"I know! I know Yusiara now can you stop scolding me like it's my fault and take this box of cold drinks."

" What kind of a man are you! Making a lady hold a box!"

She huffed angrily.

"Listen here Yusaira, it isn't even heavy. I need to perform my Maghrib Salaah and also your friends are coming towards you, they will help you."

"Okay."

She conceded.

Suhaib saw Laeeq nearing the bench, almost jumping out of his skin when he noticed someone sitting there.

"Oh Allah! "

"Sorry man didn't mean to scare you!"

Suhaib put his hand out.

Laeeq shook his hand, squinting in the dark.

"Assalamualaykum I'm Suhaib."

He nodded in recognition.

" Wa alaykumsalam. Laeeq."

"What's the matter, why aren't you in the hall."

" Not my cup of tea. Too much music."

Laeeq nodded.

"I just want to perform my Salaah and I will be with you. "

"Sure bruh, no problem."

He unfolded a musalla, spreading it a few feet away from Suhaib, he began his Salaah, leaving Suhaib to his musings.

After he completed his Salaah he sat next to Suhaib on the bench.

They both sat silently for a while, Suhaib thinking of how to confront Taeeba and Laeeq recalling the weekend that passed.

Suhaib broke the silence.

" I was just thinking earlier on, instead of having these farewell parties wouldn't it be so much nicer to donate that money to the poor?"

"You sound just like my sister now, she was going on about the same thing."

Laeeq laughed.

"But yes I do agree."

Suhaib smiled.

He didn't tell him that he had heard them bickering.

If his sister knew she would be embarrassed and he knew how dramatic they could be when they were embarrassed, he had three sisters who could really be drama queens at times.

Laeeq sighed, running a hand over his face.

"Sometimes there's so much we would like to change but it's just not possible to do it alone. At times it's better to watch from the sidelines than throw yourself into the deep end when you yourself don't know how to swim."

"But what if you do know how to swim? What if you are a life guard and it's your job to save those drowning? Wouldn't it be worth it to throw yourself in the deep end?"

"Even a life gaurd who is trained to save people can only save a limited amount of people before the current gets too strong to save anymore people."

"So you're saying that the life gaurd shouldn't save anyone at all and just think of his own safety only?"

Laaeq shook his head.

"No , I'm saying like how the life guard saves who is in his capibity to save, and leaves the rest to the other life gaurds or unfortunately leaves some to drown, but saves himself. Sometimes we have to be the same. We should should prevent people from wrong to the best of our ability, what is not in our capacity we should leave it to other people and if no one is really willing to help it's really not our fault because we tried our best. Like how it's not the life gaurds fault if people drown and he was unable to help them, because he did warn them from the very beginning that from a certain point swimming is off limits.
The same way it's not our fault if people throw themselves into destruction and drown themselves in their own wrong, because we did our duty of prohibiting them."

"I guess you do have a point."

Suhaib agreed.

"Man ! Why are we having this deep conversation.

I sound so much like my sister now. "

Laeeq laughed.

Suhaib smiled.

"You seem very fond of your sister."

He nodded.

" Yip. I have two sisters, one my age and one ten year old. It's hard work being a brother sometimes, you constantly worry about people hitting on your sister. "

Suhaib chuckled.

"Tell me about it. I have three sisters!"

"Three!"

"Yip. One elder than me and two younger than me. Elder sisters sometimes mother you though."

"I wouldn't know."

"Hmm."

They fell into a comfortable silence once again, until Laeeq dared to ask the question that had been roaming in his mind.

"When we were talking about the whole drowning thing, were you referring to your friends?"

Suhaib turned to him, surprised.

" How did you know?"

Laeeq lifted his hands in surrender.

"I don't stalk you by the way!
I just happened to be in Rosebank the same time you and your friends were there and I heard you reprimanding them about something.I can't really remember what though."

Suhaib furrowed his brows, trying to recall what it was.

Ohhh! When they were trying to convince him to go to the club!

He just nodded, not wanting to remind Laeeq what it was they were arguing about.

It was better to conceal peoples faults as much as one could, on the day Qiyaama Allah Ta'allah will conceal that persons faults who concealed the faults of others.

"Anyway...it was good talking to you man."

Laeeq shook his hand.

"I will see you around."

"InShaAllah."

Saying that he disappeared into the darkness, leaving Suhain to his musings once again.

Suhaib pondered over what Laeeq said, he didn't totally agree but at the back of his mind he knew he should agree. He knew that he was only capable to do what was in his capacity, yet he still wanted to do more, he still wanted to take the risk and dive into the deep end, even if it meant he was close to drowning, he believed that a ship or boat would save him just before he was encompassed into the darkness of the waves. What he didn't realise was that when the current came in and the tide rose, when the winds blew violently and the waves crashed ferociously, even the humongous ships that cleaved the waves sailiantly were swallowed by the hungry waves on a tempestuous day.