"We must  keep putting one foot in front of the other even  when  we are hurt, for we will never know what is waiting for us around  the bend. Nobody else can do it for you, only you can do it for you.
Keep doing  what you know in your  heart is right for You!"

***

As their car whizzed past the buildings of Johannesburg, she rested her head against the car window, gazing at the puffs of scattered clouds.

She watched a flock of birds, sailing across the sky, expanding their wings, flying higher and swooping lowering.

She would like to know how  the earth looked from above, not from an aeroplane or Google maps, but with a naked eye.

If only it were possible for humans to fly, when she needed an escape and wanted to be far away from all humans, she would fly away, feeling so free, like  a prisoner who escapes from a prison. Free from those painful chains and shackles.

She would twirl about in  the sky, loving the way the wind  whipped her face. She would fly higher and higher until the earth and all its inhabitants looked like the tiniest of ants.

She would search for the highest cloud, and  settle upon it, laying down in its cuddly flufiness, she would gaze at the mesmerising galaxy above.

She shook her head, smiling at her vivid imagination.

If it were possible for humans to fly, all those who were sad, depressed, grieved or merely love to explore new things would be sitting on many clouds, then it wouldn't really be an escape now would it?

She wasn't some  kind of a fairy like tinkerbell, that could  twirl in the sky, that was only in fairytales.

Forget settling on a cloud, you could not even hold a cloud, your hand passes right through it, and perhaps even if she did manage to settle on a cloud, would  it be close enough to see the galaxy?

She didn't really know.

This was the reality of life, one day or another you would have to face your problems, there's no sense running away from it when it will hunt you down eventually.

Laaeq tapped her head, raising his eyebrows at her. 

"What?"

She questioned consciously.

"You have that thinking face on. 
A penny for your thoughts."

"Ah just irrelevant crap really."

She shook her head. 

"Well whether irreverent crap or serious murder, I would  like to hear it all."

He smiled.

"Serious murder! Ha she can hardly harm an ant without feeling sorry for it."

Leyya teased. 

" Ants are remarkable creatures  okay!"

Yusaira sat up straight, ready  to lecture  them about ants.

Leyya rolled her eyes and  Laaeq groaned.

Not this again!

"Did you ever just sit and observe an ant, or a colony of ants?"

They both shook their heads.

"Okay I have, more than once, mind you! And from  what I have observed they are very hard working little creatures. SubhanAllah it's so so amazing !  Do you know there's a queen ant!"

Laeeq blew out a breath,slumping back against the seat. 

"Yes we know Yusi. There's a Queen Bee also!"

She glared at him.

"We are discussing ants now , not bees."

"But why can't we talk about bees!"

He whined.

" Talk about bees who benefit us! They produce honey! Or maybe a silk worm...or how about a cow!"

He suggested.

She gave him a glum expression.

"You see you and people like  you only appreciate things that outwardly benefit you! You don't  realise that an ant also is of benefit to you! The ant teaches us an important lesson, that we will discuss after the discussion  on the ants. "

"You should really become a teacher, you will be good at it."

"Laeeq! You're swaying off topic, I don't  even want to be a teacher."

"Then what do you want to be? An antologist!"

He laughed.

Yusiara gave him a bored look. 

"What's an antologist?"

Leyya  questioned, confused by his fabricated term.

"You know ..like a zoologist is a person who specialises in animals, so an antologist is a person who specialises in ants. "

"Ohh."

she nodded in understanding.

"Oh Leyya! If you listen to this brother of yours, you will grow up stupid.  Studying of insects is called entomology. So a person who specialises in that field will most  probably be called an entomologist."

Ysuaira smiled sweetly.

"Oh please like you are some Einstein that..."

"Right!"

Yusaira clapped,cutting him off.

"Back to the lesson on ants, my dear children."

"So as we mentioned before, there's a queen ant".

Laeeq scoffed.

" You already said that."

Yusaira ignored him.

"Then there are male ants."

"You don't say!"

"And there's the worker ants that are females."

"Oh wow! Why am I not impressed! I thought there would  be a technician ant, an enginer ant, a teacher ant, a student ant, a designer ant, a make up artist ant...and other interesting things!"

Leyya giggled, swatting his arm.

"Stop it, you're making Yusi angry."

Yusaira raised her voice a few octaves.

"There are twelve thousand
Species of ants all over the world. An ant can lift twenty times its own body weight. Isn't that amazing!"

" Some queen ants live for many years and have millions of babies. The queen ant and the male ants have wings, while the worker ants don't have wings. The queen ant is the only one that lays eggs. The male ants job is to mate with future queen ants, after which they don't live very long ."

Laaeq covered Leyyas ears.

"We have underaged listeners!"

Yusaira rolled her eyes.

"Anyways. Once the queen grows to adulthood she spends the rest of her life laying eggs ! Some species  have one queen, and some have more than one."

"Oh Allah! Imagine if our mothers spent the rest of their lives having  children!"

Leyya's eyes widened.

Zain and Lutfiya chuckled, shaking their heads at Leyya's remark.

Laeeq smacked his forehead.

"Why are the women in my life so weird?"

"Okayy. So...there are also soldier ants that protect the queen, gather food or kill and attack enemy colonies in search for food and nesting space."

Yusaira beamed.

" See what I mean it's very interesting, but here's an even  cooler fact. If they defeat another ant colony, they take away eggs of the defeated ant colony. When the eggs hatch, they become "slave" ants  for the colony."

Leyya frowned. 

"That's not cool that's very  sad!"

Laeeq pulled her cheeks.

"Aw my soft hearted baby."

She swatted his hands  away.

"So what do the ants in the colony do? Chill the whole day, while the soldier ants work!"

Leyya questioned, intrigued  with this discussion.

"No ofcourse not that would be very unfair. Some jobs of the colony include, taking care of the eggs and babies, gathering food for the colony and building anthills or mounds."

"And what about the queen ant, does she just lay eggs the whole time?"

" Well yeah, and she's the boss of the other ants. It's very tiring being a boss. You know, anyway once the queen ant sarts a new nest she sheds her wings and also she plays an important role in the ant world, do you know why?"

"Because she reproduces baby ants the whole day!"

Laeeq  answered bluntly.

Leyya nodded in agreement.

"No you potatoes!  The worker ants can't  function  properly without her,  when the queen of the colony dies, the workers can only survive for a few months. Queens are hardly ever replaced and the workers cannot reproduce. "

"Wow!"

Leyya looked baffled.

"I know right. So not only men can't function properly without women, even ants can't function without their  queen ant."

Yusaira smiled smugly.

Laeeq snorted.

"And which nut head told you that men can't function without women?"

"Many bright minded people, mind  you, but a nuthead like you will never understand that. " 

"Abba do you really think that men  will not be able to function properly without women in their lives."

Lutfiya turned her head towards Zain, anticipating an answer.

He cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Well son.... I think women play a vital role in our lives, in society, in our  homes. They are that  missing puzzle piece that makes a puzzle whole.
With women in our lives, life becomes a lot easier, organized and more bearable. "

"When you're single,you actually think you are perfectly fine alone, hanging out  with friends, playing  xbox and what not , but as you get  older your friends get married, you outgrow certain things you used to find entertainining. You get bored of the same mundane tasks every single day. Your life feels dull and monotonous."

" When  you have a woman in your  life, you look forward  to returning  home to a smiling  wife, you enjoy her company, you appreciate her presence. You have a companion and an eternal friend. It's comforting to know that In Sha Allah one day you will grow old with  her and enter Jannah together. Life is just  so much  sweeter."

Lutfiya smiled, her eyes shinning  with  love and pride.

Alhamdulillah for such a wonderful husband.

"Awww "

Yusaira wiped away a tear that unknowingly rolled down her cheek.

It was precious moments like these, wise words like these that would forever be entrenched in her heart.

"Umm , if you put it that way then I suppose we do need women in our lives. Now that I'm really thinking about  it, Jannah is such a pure and beautiful place, a place  that  no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever  heard of, no heart can ever fathom, Adam AlayhiSalam was still lonely in such a beatiful place and that's when Hawwa RadhiyAllahu anha was created."

"That's it my boy. You've learnt well."

Lutfiya teased, smiling at him.

"Okay  so who wants to hear more facts about ants ?"

Yusaira clapped excitedly.

Everyone groaned in response.

"Guys ! It's only two more facts! "

"Ants don't have ears, they "hear" by feeling vibrations on the ground through their feet, and also  they don't have lungs. Oxygen enters through small holes in their bodies and carbon dioxide leaves through the same small holes. There are alot of different ants you all should really google it and see, it's amazing!"

"Riiight! You had a lesson behind your lecture remember?"

Laeeq reminded.

"Ah yes ! That's right. Even  though they are such tiny creatures they are remarkable little snookums!
Number one, they are really hard working, it's a lesson for us not to be lax  and work hard to achieve our goals. "

"Number two, they  are organised.
They have different jobs that they carry out the way it ought to be carried out. 
This teaches us responsibility, it's a reminder to be organised in life, have  a routine and  carry out our tasks diligently. "

"Number three, despite their minute size they carry loads larger than them. This teaches us to have great aspirations in life and bigger intentions, even though we feel like we are unable to accomplish it. InShaAllah with the help of Allah it will be possible. "

"Number four, they work and  live in groups and colonies. This teaches us unity, the more united we are the more peace and harmony there will be and the easier our tasks will be by working together."

"Number five, they don't know what it is to give up! No matter how many  times that bread crumb falls off its body, it picks it up and continues walking.
This teaches us steadfastness. We are human it's okay to fall down, but we must pick ourslves up and continue no matter how much we stumble."

"Wow! Ma Sha  Allah! I've never thought about it that way. Thanks to you, we all have something to ponder over. "

Zain beamed at her through the rear view mirror.

She brushed off the indirect praise.

She felt embarrassed when  people praised her. She really didn't think she deserved their praises, they only saw what she chose for them to see , they didn't see her sins and  flaws. They didn't see her heart blackened with sins, they didnt see her unattractive soul.  If only her heart and soul  were made apparent, what would  be the comments and views of people?

Her body trembled, she would one day have to stand in the court of Allah SWT  and answer for her deeds. She would be taken for account for every action carried out, every word uttered, and how would she fare?
How would she present this heart that is drenched in sin and this soul that is drowning in negligence?

Her mind  then wondered  to our beloved mother Hazrat Aaisha RadhiyAllahu Anha, who used to be so overcome by the reality of being taken to account on the day of qiyama that she wished she were a stone or a blade of grass instead of a human.

Her mind then reeled back to the dua that her Apa had taught them in Madressa and until they reached their destination, she uttered the dua over and over again.

اللهم  حاسبنا حساب يسيرا

Allahuma Haasibnaa Hisaabay Yaseera.

Oh Allah grant us an easy reckoning.

Benoni town was a rowdy place compared to where they lived. Here it was a mixture of people yelling and taxis hooting. People skipping the red signals and more hooting. Road rage and impatience and more hooting.

Back home it was so serene and peaceful, there was absolute silence.

The traffic, noise and havoc reminded her alot of Fordsburg. 

They turned into a few streets until they reached the one they had been looking for.

A stack of dull yellow flats could be seen, the paint peeling off the walls.
Most of the flats were unkempt.

Laeeq and Yusaira exchanged concerned glances.

Is this where  Ruqayya lived?

Once Zain stopped in front of the flats in question, their question was answered.

Lutfiya ringed her sister, who sent her helper to open the gate.

In complete silence they drove in, each lost in their own thoughts.

 Once Zain parked in the visitors parking, they  jumped off the car.

Laeeq and Yusaira hauled their bags out of the car and they all followed the maid into the flat.

The interior of the flat was bright, neat and clean, unlike the exterior of the flats, that badly  needed  painting.

A set of three leather couches stood in the lounge, a small wooden coffee table rested on a beige and black rug, plain beige curtains were swept to the side, allowing them  to view the small garden, where little pot plants of followers lined the  side of the wall, a chilli tree, lemon grass, a few sprouts of coriander and mint, a few bunches of spinach and some tomatoes grew beside the rest of the wall.

The kitchen had  wooden tops and old taps, not a modern furnished kitchen, but nevertheless it was neat and clean, despite  the taps being old it shone brilliantly, proof that the lady of the house was not fond of dust and grime.

A petite woman walked out of one of the rooms, clad in a simple black  abaya, a brown scarf wrapped neatly around her head, pinned into place.

She was not extremely fair, more on the tan  side, however she had beautiful features. Those naturally curved eyebrows like Lutfiya, that petite, but slightly sharp nose like Lutfiya. Unlike lile Lutfiyas small lips she had plumper lips and slightly higher cheekbones just like Yusaira. Her eyes, on the other hand resembled none of the two, she had unique eyes.  A dark green, with specks of gold.

Yusaira stared at her befuddled.

Even though she was not fair in completion like Lutfiya she was a gorgeous woman.

Lutfiya charged forward, grabbing her sister in a bone crushing hug.

They both stayed that way, crying in one anothers embrace.

The last  time they had seen each other had been seventeen  years ago.

Once she composed herself she stepped back, beckoning Yusaira forward  who stood rooted in her spot. 

All eyes turned to her.

Her hesitance reflected in her eyes. She always knew her mother was alive and somewhere in the world, yet she only ever saw Lutfiya as a mother figure, this was too soon , it felt surreal to see her mother standing before her, her arms stretched wide, anticipating her daughters first hug.

Ruqayya's heart  broke  a little noticing  her hesitance, yet she couldn't be blamed now, could  she?

If Ruqayya were in her situation she would have probably felt  the same way.

She gazed at her daughter who stood in contemplation. She had grown into a beautiful young  lady, she had her slightly high cheekbones, and plump lips, her  sister's fair complexion.
Her  deep brown intelligent eyes resembled her father.

Her heart clenched in pain at the thought of her husband. She pushed the thoughts away not  wanting to delve into those thoughts once again. A long while ago she had locked it up in a vault and flung it deep into the ocean.

Going back to the past was only further hurting her unhealed wounds.

As she was lost in thought she felt a petite figure slam into her outstretched arms, droplets of tears soaking her scarf.

She wrapped her arms around her daughter, finally feeling like a complete puzzle.

Happiness burst through her heart as she tightened her arms around her.

Yusaira reveled in her mothers warmth, her embrace was so unfilmiliar yet comforting. Her scent was so subtle yet unique. All this felt so strange yet peaceful, she was so angry yet ecstatic.

She needed to unravel this mystery and dig into the past.

She was still confused and angry, but for now she brushed all those negative emotions  aside and hugged her mother closer and they  stayed like that  for a very long time. 

She had found one missing piece of the puzzle, now she had only one more missing piece to fill, and her puzzle would be complete.