Morbid images flashed before me.My subconscious mind filled with memories I wanted to run away from.It isn't supposed to be so bad.Things weren't this bad, were they? I lived through each of these wretched memories, It tore my heart straight out of my chest, yet somehow it feels worse now.Is it because I'm trapped here.I can't escape.I know this isn't real, but merely a dream, but I can't seem to snap out of it.I'm trying, these memories don't want to be suppressed any longer.I have been running away from them for too long.I've always had the power over them when I am in a conscious state.When I'm not, unfortunately, the tables are turned.

First , there's my mom's death.It wasn't a quick and painless end but the contrary .It was not only painful for her but on those around her,as we watched her slowly,dreadfully lose memory of us all.We had lost her before she was actually dead.Then the torture, the painful suffering of the sharp instruments against my flesh to inflict as much pain possible without killing me.A cruel fate I faced because I was the weakest link of the Hale pack, the easiest target.

I finally gained consciousness and awoke from the fourth consecutive nightmare.I have gotten quite used to them.They actually help me face the agonizing pain I try to hide. I moved out of Beacons Hills two years ago.I needed a break.Everyone tried to stop me, even Derek, that honestly made me doubt my decision.I needed to leave.I needed a break I needed some time to get myself together and forget not only the horrific incidents that I had witnessed but to seek forgiveness for being weak and allowing them to happen.I owed no one but myself that apology.In the two years, I had spent out of Beacon Hills I learned to forgive myself by, ensuring I was never in a situation where I was the weak link.You know what they say? Knowledge is key.I learned about every supernatural creature all of the alphabets .I learned about too many to say exactly how many I know about.I have a present from a friend,who happens to be a witch-Lee.She gave me a pouch that contains every single weapon I collected .One for each creature I learned about.When I found out their weakness I found a weapon that would match.I learned how to fight.I trained myself so ,I am not the skinny kid anymore.My body thanks me.

I return to Beacon Hills,today.I am ready to face everyone, as I have learned to face myself.I have missed everyone , especially a broody , emotionally detached alpha.I have had feelings for him for a very long time.None of them will pick up any of my emotions because Lee helped me with my scent so it always stays constant so they won't smell any emotions and she helped with my heartbeat so they can't use that to tell whether I speak the truth or not.You got to love magic.She's an amazing friend, she helped me become who I am.She is my only confidant.I told her about my feelings for Derek.She wants to come with me to Beacon Hills but she is needed here more.I assured her I will be fine.I am a bit nervous to be going to the place which haunts me in my nightmares constantly, but I have to return.

As I enter the town in my Ferrari 458 Italia, courtesy of Lee, believe it or not ,there was a spell that made that and my new and improved (more like unbelievable) wardrobe , as well as my bank account possible.Like I said,she's amazing.I drove to Derek's loft.Everyone was waiting outside,I called Scott and told him I'm returning inform the pack. Everyone stood there and their jaws kind of dropped seeing the transformation.Scott simply ran and locked me in his iron grip which actually felt like the old me trying to grip as tight as possible.With my new found strength, I could easily lift Scott.I didn't want to show that off, It was for me not for them to see unless absolutely necessary.Derek stood there staring at me as if I came back from the dead, guilt plastered to his face.I brushed it off as I greeted everyone."Nice ride,Stilinski." Jackson said and whistles slowly.I just nodded."Are we going inside or what?" I said and everyone leads me in bombarding me with questions.

After a while when all the excitement died down.Lydia and Erica , who were both staring at me intently finally spoke their minds."You look good ,Stiles." Lydia said her eyes roaming across my chest and abdomen, I had on a muscle shirt , Lee chose my outfit ,she's done so much I couldn't refuse."Thanks." I said and acknowledged the sincere compliment."When's Braeden getting back?" Jackson asked Derek."Braeden?" I repeated confused as the name was new to me.Was she a new pack member?"Yeah ,Derek's girlfriend" Isaac said in a sing-song voice.Scott gave me an apologetic look.I hadn't spoken to him about my feelings for Derek, but he was my best friend , he knew."That's great, man.It's good you finally getting happiness." I said giving him a believable smile and the spell kept them from smelling the hurt and betrayal I felt and the way my heartbeat was anything but regular.He looked at me shocked.No one would be able to tell I didn't mean what I said."She's going to be back tomorrow."Derek said like he regretted everything that had happened.

I needed back up.I couldn't do this alone,not after what just happened.I may have only told Lee about Derek but the other friend I made-Ben.He was truly one of the nicest people to help you forget.We became really close, he's a demon.I knew that he would come as soon as I say his name.I told everyone it had been a long drive, I needed to get back and rest.I wasn't lying I just needed someone to talk to.I went to my old house , more like an empty shell.Dad died just before I left, he was murdered.The bastard is serving a life sentence.I walked in and said it once."Ben,I need you." in a millisecond he was in front of me,his hands wrapped around my waist.I told him what happened, he was furious,wanted to go punch Derek square in the jaw.I stopped him saying it was childish, Derek was never obligated to stay single, he didn't even know how I felt, he clearly didn't feel the same."Don't worry,Sti,I am not leaving till you get over this,no matter how long it takes."I smiled at the boy in front of me, he is the kindest person I know. He and Lee are the only family I have. "Thanks, bro," I said and leaned against him pressing my weight on him.I need to call Lee and tell her, or she's gonna be pissed that I kept it from her.Ben nodded and I left to do just that.She said she is done with the business she had to take care off and she will be joining Ben and me soon.My phone beeped and I checked and saw Scott sent me a message.

From Scott: Pack wants to welcome you back properly come by the loft tonight for dinner

To Scott: K.I'm bringing someone with me, will introduce when I get there.I'll be there at 5

With that I put my phone off and sat on Ben's lap, he was watching some weird Rom-Com. He always loves the weirdest shit.We are really close, we lived together for a while and we both don't have anyone but each other .So we are important to each other.Ben is the brother I never had.I guess that's why we are protective of each other.He wrapped his arms around my waist and laid his head on my shoulder.Like how werewolves have mates , demons have something similar, Ben's mate's name is Adam.He has been kind of stalking him.He wants to talk to him but he is scared to .We are going to work on that as soon as we can.I can tell he yearns for him.I feel awful when his face falls. When he thinks about him,the thought leads to him remembering he isn't with his mate, and that his mate doesn't even know he exists.I know how it hurts to not be able to be with the person you want.At least he has a shot.I won't let him face the same fate as me.

When we reached the loft I see Scott apologizing to me with his eyes, this leads me to wonder what's going on.I walk in and see a girl clinging to Derek, he is returning the affection.Her hands are wrapped around his neck and her legs around his waist and he returns the embrace with his hands around her waist and his head hidden in her neck.That must be Braeden.He seemed to sense that I was now in the room.A look of horror and shame flashed across his face.I was about to lose my calm, just then, when I needed it most,Ben came to my side and took my hand in his.I looked up at him and he smiled a smile that shouted we're in this together.I instantly relaxed.I was right this is easier with someone by your side.Ben is the best anchor I could ever ask for.I pressed my weight against him and he hooked his arm around my waist.I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Hey everyone, this is Ben," I said nudging his shoulder with my head slightly and everyone's attention was focused on him.I don't blame them, Ben is gorgeous.He is tall , muscular, has striking blue eyes ,a jawline to die for.He has the cutest dimples and a million dollar smile to accompany it.Everyone surrounded him and Braden walked forward to introduce herself,"Hi, the name's Braeden,you must be Stiles." I faked a smile and Ben held me tighter."Yeah , nice to meet you." I nodded at her."Same here." She beamed back.I pulled Ben and walked to the kitchen.We grabbed something to eat and went outside and ate in silence.Everyone was busy interacting with each other, I needed silence.Ben always gets that, and me.When we were done, we went back.Scott started talking to Ben and Isaac pulled me to the side."Derek is acting so weird with Braeden.They're usually so clingy and now he's acting as if she's some sort of stranger, that's forcing herself on him." Isaac said with a worried look on his face."And you're telling me this because..?" Isaac looked at me with Bambi eyes.I felt bad I didn't mean to sound harsh.He probably just felt comfortable with me and likes sharing all his thoughts with me.We always were like that.I feel horrible.I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze."Sorry buddy, I just haven't been getting a lot of sleep.".He gave me a look of understanding.I went to find Ben.He was with everyone watching some show."There you are, Bambi." Ben said with his big goofy grin."What did I tell you about calling me that, huh?" I said trying to look intimidating but failing miserably because it's Ben.I flicked his forehead and he snapped at my finger playfully.I blew a raspberry at him.I plopped onto his lap and blew a raspberry on his neck.Our moment was interrupted by the sound of glass breaking.I looked up and the loveseat that Derek and Braeden occupied now had shards of glass some stained with blood and drops of blood at the foot of Derek's seat.He broke his glass.His wound healed immediately.Was my behavior annoying? I mean Scott used to do the same Shit with Allison, no one complained then.Why should I have to watch what I say and do?

Derek got up and cleaned up.No one said anything,even Braden looked confused.I leaned back on Ben and watched him clean up.Derek then yelled-Well not really yelled, he spoke loudly so he got everyone's attention."I'm going out with Braeden for a bit.No one leaves till I return." he said, looking at me.I just shrugged like everyone else and nudged Ben's head with mine.He smiled and Derek rolled his eyes, growled and left.We all continued with our night.Everyone loves Ben.I don't blame them.He's not just amazing on the outside, he has an amazing personality.His mate is lucky.

An hour later Derek returns alone.We all look up at him confused."He smells stressed." Isaac says , sleepily and laid his head on my lap and his legs on Ben's ."Where's Braeden?" Isaac asked, not taking his eyes off the TV. "She's gone.We broke up.Do not ask questions.You may all now leave." My head shot up so fast I swear I think I got whiplash.I look up at him feeling so many emotions then look at Ben who just looked pissed.Everyone started getting their things together.They all walked passed Derek, showing some sort of sympathetic gesture.Isaac even left he is going to stay with Scott for the night.He knows Derek needs some time to himself.

As Ben and I get up to leave, Derek grabs my hand."Stiles could you stay for a bit.I need to talk to you." before I could say anything Ben stood in between us like a wall."No.No, he can't" I squeeze his hand "It's okay, Ben.Go home.I need to do this.We'll talk when I get back." He sighs in defeat knowing how stubborn I am.He leaves and slams the door.I turn to Derek and wait for him to talk when he doesn't say anything so I do."You said we needed to talk?"."He takes in a deep breath and looks like he has a long speech prepared which I soon find is actually true."Stiles...I'm so sorry.I have had feelings for you from the first time I saw you.I missed you, even though we weren't together, we had something.You got me.I felt comfort with you.I could and did share everything with you.I know you needed to leave,I got that.I didn't plan on dating anyone.I just wanted what we had,I thought you might never come back.I know that's not a good excuse since you did say you were coming back.Nothing I say is going to make this situation better.I know,I just don't want to lose you again.I know you're in a relationship.I know I shouldn't be saying this.I just can't see you with someone else.I told Braeden the truth.She understands.I know this situation isn't ideal since I just broke up with her, but I did wait, for a year and a half.Can we please work this out.I don't want anyone but you.It's what I've been looking for , for so long.Could you forgive me." I stood there stunned , confused and even angry.

"I'm not in a fucking relationship.Ben is my brother,he is the only family I have.I also had feelings for you and I wasn't just going to jump at someone that came at me and go .My feelings were real I waited to get back.I wanted to be with you.What do you think I am?Some kind of toy?You can just replace me when I'm gone and when I get back you want me.It doesn't work like that.It doesn't .I really liked you Derek and I come back and find you with someone else.To come back and find out the person I wanted to be with has someone else.It hurt like fuck.This isn't some fairytale.I'm not going to run into your arms the second you decide you want me."

"Stiles,I'm sorry .There's nothing else I can say.I know my feelings should have been strong enough for me to wait.It was a mistake.I will gain you trust.I will wait.I'll do everything I can to fix this and gain your trust.Can you try to forgive me?"

I looked at him, seeing the earnest feelings portrayed in his eyes.I exhaled deeply."Look,I don't know if I can just get over it.I'll try.Let's just see what happens."

They both knew things were going to be difficult after that.The future depended on their actions.

IMPORTANT A/N :Hey guys so this was my first Sterek fanfic.I hope you liked it.I'm not sure If I should leave it as a one-shot, write part two or make it into a whole book.What do you think I should do? Thank you for reading, please vote, comment and follow me if you want to.If you have any other thoughts or ideas on this send me a message or comment, I honestly would love to hear from you If you feel that something is missing or I could improve in any way, feel free to say so.I am open to POSITIVE criticism,please don't send any hate comments, I really don't appreciate that..Have a great day guys.Stay amazing!