I had a guard of two Anbu with me the entire trip to Suna. They didn't speak to me once, and I didn't attempt to make any conversation. We were nearly at Suna now, the village walls just peeking over the horizon.

We arrived at the gates. "Ah! Keira, is that you?!" One of the guards exclaimed as I handed him the card. I gave him a cold stare, and he blanched. He scanned over the card, then understanding came over is features.

It probably said on the card that I was mentally disturbed or something. I took the card back, slipping it into my empty weapons pouch. Yeah, I wasn't allowed to carry weapons with me... and Orochimaru took them all anyways.

I raised my eyebrows as we approached the Kazekage's building. They were taking me to the Kazekage himself? Well, I suppose I was going to stay here for a while...

We climbed the stairs, the silent Anbu not even glancing at me. They knocked on the door, and a quiet, "Come in," was heard. They opened the door, and I entered. The Kazekage was bent over his paperwork, hat shielding his face.

"Lord Kazekage, we are here because one of our citizens will be living in Suna for rehabilitation," One of the Anbu stated. My uncaring gaze stared straight ahead.

"I've already been informed that someone will be staying. This isn't of my concern anymore," The Kazekage murmured, flipping over some papers, "The person in question should be talking to Temari, Kankuro, or one of the other council members," He ordered.

"But sir... we were told to inform you of who it is ourselves...it's Keira Boukyaku," The Anbu uttered.

Th Kazekage froze, some papers floating gently to the ground. He slowly looked up, his sea foam eyes full of strained hope and despair as they met my dead ones. "Thank you..." He slowly stood, "Your mission is complete. Dismissed," The Anbu bowed slightly, then dissapeared.

He stared at me in utter shock and disbelief. "They sent me notice that someone would be coming to stay and recover... but you!" He came closer, putting his hands on my shoulders. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. The door burst open just as he drew me into a hug...

And I shoved him away.

The Kazekage stumbled backwards, putting his hand back on his desk to steady himself. A girl cried out, "Gaara!"

A hand grabbed my arm, spinning me around. A boy with purple makeup growled at me, "What're you playing at, you--"

"Kankuro! Stand down!" The Kazekage, also known as Gaara, commanded. I looked at the three of them lined up before me. All of them... they were from once upon a time...

My gaze landed on the Kazekage. Gaara. He was from once upon at time... he had been the old Keira's prince.

But not anymore. I wasn't the same girl I was two years ago.

"Keira... Is that really you, Keira!" The girl called Temari exclaimed. I nodded shortly, and her happy expression fell a bit.

"Where will I be staying, Kazekage-sama?" I ask emotionlessly. He begins to act on autopilot, shock, horror, sadness, loss and hurt obvious in his mind.

"We were ordered to keep a close eye on you, so K-Keira, you will be staying at the Kazekage mansion. Temari, please escort her there," He ordered, stuttering slightly on my name. We left the room. Although everything was silent, I could hear the howling, keening sound of pain Gaara's mind was making.

My mind made that noise for two years straight.

I was aware of Temari staring at me as though I was a complete stranger. "So, um, Keira-chan... would you like to go shopping soon? I'm sure you need new clothes by now," She attempted a smile.

"I feel no need to change my attire, or spend any more time with you than neccesary," I stated bluntly. I may have been wearing shapeless gray pants and a long sleeve white T-shirt given to me by the hospital, but they would serve their function for now.

Temari cringed, and walked a half step farther away from me then neccesary the entire trip to her house. She opened the door, slipping her shoes off. I kept mine on. My shoes were given to me by the hospital as well, one size fits all clogs.

She led me upstairs, then gestured to a row of doors down the hall. "They're all the same," She said, "You choose,"

I laughed lowly. "You know, HE said the same thing every time we changed hideouts. 'You can choose you cell. It's not as though it matters, they're all the same,'"

Temari shifted uncomfortably. "Never mind," I walk down the hallway and choose the last door on the left. I set my bag down at the foot of the bed and sit on the bed. I didn't bother to lie down. Sleep never came to me anymore.

Once upon a time, I would get brief snatches of sleep. Now, no matter how hard I tried, my eyes would remain firmly open, caught in a waking nightmare. I feel myself slowly sliding into my memories, eyes glazing over. I don't know how long I sat there. I was caught up in my own self torture.

But I didn't need a blade anymore to torture myself.

I had my memories.

I was staring blankly ahead of me, not moving, barely breathing, flashback after flashback running through my head. I'm barely even aware of the door opening downstairs and two footsteps entering the household.

I'm barely aware of someone calling my name. I barely hear Temari telling Gaara and Kankuro that I was upstairs... alone. I was barely aware of Gaara growling at her, harshly telling her off for leaving me alone.

"She could be dead in a pool of her own blood! She's unstable! Damn you, Temari.... if anything's happened to her..."

I was barely aware of Gaara storming upstairs towards my room as a new flashback entered my head. Lovely. I hated this memory.

The door slowly creaked open. I've lost track of how long I've been in this place. But there was still a defiant gleam in my eye. "Ah, Keira-chan, nice to see you today," that slithery voice I hated greeted me.

I look up and spit towards him, though I have no energy, and most of it dribbles down my chin. Orochimaru crouches down, wiping the spittle from my chin. I bare my teeth at him, and I'm awarded with a slap.

Why am I fighting him again? What does this gain me, defying him? Everything is easier when I do what he wants...

'I have a special activity planned for you today!" He unchains me, yanking the pins out of my wings. Grabbing my chain, which is connected to my collor, he drags me down the hall. I stumble several times, trying to keep up with his long strides.

We arrive at a room. Am I going to have to fight? But what I see is much more sinister... a metal table... with restraints. He drags me to the table, me fighting him all the way. Kabuto appears out of no where, helping him get me on the table.

I fight like a wild thing. NONONONONONONONONONO-- I bite my tongue hard as my head is slammed against the table. I flail madly, throwing Kabuto's glasses to the ground and tearing Orochimaru's clothes.

But they win. I'm soon cinched down, not able to move an inch. The two stood above me, panting as they try to recover their breath. They both walk towards me. "Experiment 017, Attempt to increase night vision. Time, 21:47. Begining procedure," Kabuto lists off as he scribbles on a pad.

Orochimaru picked up a scalpel, advancing towards me. They weren't even going to knock me out? Numb me? Nothing???

The knife begins to lower towards my eye. This isn't happening. It CAN'T be happening. Someone save me! Oh Kami. Oh Kami. ohKamiohKamiohKamiohKamiohKamiohKamiohKamiohKami.

I don't want this! I would rather die! I would rather die!

The pain begins.

I WANT to die!

IwanttodieIwanttodieIwanttodieIwanttodie, oh Kami please let me die the pain it's to much I can't bear it this can't be real this can't be happening oh Kami please no please no please no I hate this oh Kami no no no no more no more please have mercy kill me no more pain no more suffering just death.....

KILL ME!

My eyes suddenly focus as I realize I'm being shaken roughly back and forth. Panic stricken sea foam eyes snap to mine as I come back to myself. Gaara is kneeling on the ground, hands on my shoulders. Gaara lowers his head, resting his forehead on my knees.

"Oh, Kami, don't do that to me again, Keira. Never again," he begged, voice rough. I looked up towards Temari, seeing that Gaara didn't seem ready to speak.

"Yes?" I question.

They stare at me in shock. She just had some sort of... episode, and she's acting like everything is perfectly fine! Kankuro was shocked.

She's so different... where's the old Keira? Temari asked.

Strangely, I couldn't pick up anything from Gaara. I sensed his mind, yes, just nothing inside. I pushed against his mind, but nothing gives. It suddenly hits me . Ah, a chakra wall. He knows I can read minds... he's used to blocking out Shukaku, so blocking me should be easy.

Temari took a hey breath. "D-dinner is ready, she murmured. I stood, Gaara's head being knocked off my knees. I walk past Temari and Kankuro, their heads slowly swiveling to watch me. Gaara remains on his knees, head bowed, the perfect image of defeat.

I wait outside the door, listening to breaking hearts, breaking hopes, and breaking voices. The siblings came out into the hallway, and I followed them downstairs. There was rice, meat, and other food on the table.

We sat down, everyone avoiding eye contact with me. I was already eating by the time everyone murmured, "Itadakimasu," Everyone ate slowly, except for Gaara. He only put two mouthfuls of rice away before getting up and walking out of the room.

Kankuro and Temari chewed, obviously put off by my presence. I finished and silently stood, walking back up to my room. I sit down, fighting memories.

About five hours later, well into the night, the door creaks open. I look up immidiately, the sound triggering a flood of flashbacks that I push away. I recognize Gaara's form in the doorway. He walks inside, my eyes following his every movement.

He drags a chair over so he can sit across from me. We sit in silence for a few minutes, before he pulls something from his pocket. I stare blankly at the old songbook. What did he want me to do with it?

He clears his throat. "Write a song, please," He requests.

I look at him. "I don't do that anymore. Keira, the old Keira used to do that. You can't expect me to write a song. You need to undestand; I'm not Keira anymore. At least, not the one you remember,"

Gaara doesn't flinch or give up. He was adamant. "Write," He commanded. My blank gaze bore into his emotional yet unyielding eyes. My answer was obvious. "Write," He ordered yet again.

"No," I softly whisper, no defiance in my voice, just fact. I would not be writing.

Gaara loses that perfect control he had, anger overtaking him. "Write! Goddammit, Keira, Write!" He shouts, voice rough with pain. I flinch away from him, losing the little will I had.

I take the book and proffered pen from his hand, flipping the book to an empty page. My pen hovered over the paper in submission. I've learned that it's easier to do what people want, not fight them.

I begin to write slowly, no inspiration or motivation prompting me. I am well aware of Gaara's bated breath as he watches me closely. I write, the words stuttering from my pen and falling dead on the paper.

Soon Gaara takes the book from my hand, shaking his head with a muttered curse. I hadn't even completed the song. "What is this shit?" He asked.

"A song," I replied calmly. I had written exactly what I thought he would have wanted to hear, which was nothing close to the truth. I hadn't even been able to write the song in order, forced to jump different parts, because I couldn't find the words to write many of the sections. Even upside down, I could read my scribbled lies.

--I let you see the parts of me 

That weren't all that pretty 

And with every touch you fixed them--

--Just give me a reason 

Just a little bit's enough 

Just a second we're not broken just bent 

And we can learn to love again 

It's in the stars 

It's been written in the scars of our hearts 

We're not broken--

I had been unable to finish even the chorus, the chorus of lies, a song of poison. Because I was broken. Broken to pieces, ground into dust, trampled, scattered, lost. Gaara looked up from the song, then dropped the book onto the ground.

He stood, kissing the top of my head for a moment, then walking out of the room, footsteps heavy, back bent and shoulders slumped, carrying some unbearable burdan. I watched him go in silence.

One deceitful, deceptive, dishonest line kept ringing through my head.

No matter how I tried to shake it away, the line wouldn't leave me.

We're not broken, just bent.

____________________________________________________________________

Chapter Three!

Oh God, don't hate me.

Poor, poor, POOR Gaara T.T

Dedicated to SoniaLuno for being the first to comment!

I feel so bad.

TT.TT

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Bye!

gaara119