fRCIKING LOVE THIS CHAPTER

I THINK THERE WILL BE AN EPISODE IN THE ONESHOT BOOK tHAT FOCUSES AROUND DARK MAGIC

ALSO. FOR THE ASTERISK:

*unless you have seen MrPeanutWaffles :3

Remember Me

Ch 5: Dark Magic

Sky's POV

Ty has this cute little almost-snore thing that he does when he's sleeping peacefully, and- you have not seen adorable until you have seen Ty, okay?*

I smile a little and try to ignore how creepy it is that I'm watching him sleep. Shh, it's fine! I'm watching over him. Keeping him safe. It's fine.

"Hey," someone whispers in my ear, and I jump a little to see Tyler crouching next to me. "You might wanna wake him up. If you don't, then the others will see you guys next to each other, and Ty will blush like crazy when he finally does wake up."

"Maybe I'd like to see that," I mumble, blushing myself.

Tyler snorts. "Well, Ty wouldn't be too pleased."

"Fine, fine, I'll get up, but I'm letting him sleep."

"Fair enough."

When Tyler isn't looking, I plant a soft kiss on Ty's forehead, and then Tyler and I slip outside silently. "When did you get up?" I ask as soon as we're out of earshot of the temporary base.

"A few hours ago."

"Holy crap, Tyler, have some chill."

"I'm an early riser," he laughs, shrugging. "I just thought I'd warn you when I heard the others starting to wake up."

"Thanks," I reply, and then I have to frown a little. "Ty doesn't seem very receptive of the whole Skylox deal at the moment."

Tyler snorts. "Are you kidding? He literally crawled into bed next to you last night."

I blush. "He- He was scared. Needed a friend."

"Specifically, needed you," Tyler clarifies. "Geez, how much more insecure can you get, Sky? He's in love with you, or, at the very least, he's falling in love with you."

I chuckle. "Yeah, I don't think so, friend."

"Well, you're stupid," he says bluntly, and I laugh a little more loudly. "Wanna check on the Notch deer with me?"

Nodding, I follow him to where the Notch deer have huddled up into a group during the night. "Do you think they got too cold?" I ask, but Tyler just shrugs. I gently pet the Notch deer that Ty and I rode yesterday, and it grunts softly. "Hey, buddy. Good job yesterday. Can you do it again today?"

It sighs as though fed up with my crap, and I laugh. "Well, today will be a lot of fun. Do you think we should wake up the others?" I ask, turning to face Tyler again.

"I guess so." He looks up at the sun, shielding his eyes slightly. "It's about... eight? Yeah, we should wake them up."

"WAKEY WAKEY, A SERIOUS LACK OF EGGS AND BAKEY," I shout, leaning into the house.

Seto groans and mumbles, "Typicam American prandium. Five more minutes, Sky." Eggs and bacon appear floating in the air in front of me, and I laugh in delight as I quickly consume them.

"Five more minutes, it is!" I giggle, walking around the room and shaking awake everyone but Seto. When I get to Ty, I sit down next to him and shake him extra lightly, so as not to scare him. "Hey, Ty, time to get up," I say softly.

"No," he mutters, squeezing his eyes shut more tightly.

"HEY, TY, TIME TO GET UP," I try again.

Ty jumps almost a full meter into the air, and he curses the world quietly when he hits the ground. "W-Why... would you do that..."

I snort. "Why not?"

"Human decency," Ty hisses, sitting up and rubbing his butt.

"Oh, Ty, did you hurt your bum? Maybe Sky can help you straighten out the kinks," Tyler giggles.

"Oh my Notch. That hardly even made sense, I think you said that solely for the pun," Ty groans in annoyance.

"Yeah," Alesa agrees, but then she grins. "Anyways, they wouldn't straighten things out, they would gayen things out."

Ty pinches the bridge of his nose and then sighs and stands up. At first, he almost loses his balance, and I rush to catch him before he can fall.

"He fell for you," Jason whisper-shouts, and I sigh.

"Ooookay, let's leave the lovebirds alone and get a move on," Seto says, finally getting up off his bedroll. "Good Notch, you three are relentless."

"They're so cute!" Ashley squeals.

"Four. You four are relentless," Seto sighs. Brice clamps his hand over his mouth, and Seto sighs one more time before walking out the door. "Hurry up, we've got to get going!"

"Are we packing up the bedrolls?" I ask.

"Yeah, but only the bedrolls. The rest can be left behind," Seto shouts from outside.

"Sure thing!" I yell back as I start gathering up the bedrolls in my hands.

Ty stops me once I'm struggling to hold six of the bedrolls at once. "Idiot, at least put them in your backpack. Here, let me help." Tyler wiggles his eyebrows at me, and I roll my eyes. Ty is just being a good friend, geez!

As we walk, I lean in toward Ty. "Are you going to be okay today, on the Notch deer?" I ask quietly.

"Ohhh," Ty moans, and I blush a little. Yikes, innocent thoughts, Sky. "I don't know. Isn't there a different way to get to Tyler's old city?"

"I don't think so. Not one that Seto will accept, anyways. But it'll be okay, I'll keep you safe! I'll entertain you this time."

He raises an eyebrow. "How?"

"I'll tell you stories about the adventures we had together before I was almost erased! Maybe you'll even start to remember me." I grin excitedly and bite my lip.

"All right," Ty laughs, shaking his head, and I scream happily, causing Ty to jump and drop his bed rolls. "Dear Notch, Sky."

"Sorry," I say sheepishly, and Ty just smiles.

"All aboard the Notch deer!" Seto calls, and I dump my bedrolls and Ty's into his backpack before he can mount his deer. Seto nods at me and then looks over at the rest of us expectantly, waiting for us to get ready. "Four days left, not counting today."

"Only three days," Ty groans, and I give him the 'what the crap' look.

"You okay there, buddy?"

"Y-Yeah!" he stammers, smiling awkwardly, and I coo internally at how adorable this boy is.

"Will you be okay on the deer thingy?"

"O-Oh."

"Hmm. Come on, Ty, all aboard! I'll help you up."

"The problem is not getting up there," he says quietly.

"It's staying up there, and, even worse – getting down. I know. Don't worry, it'll be okay," I assure him, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward our Notch deer. "Up you go, love."

"U-Um-" he squeaks, eyes wide.

"Oh! Oh, I- I didn't- oh, Notch, I didn't mean, like- it's not like I'm- not like we're- oh, disco Jeb sheep," I stutter, blushing insanely. What a slip up! Notch, I haven't called him that in years.

"O-Okay," Ty replies in a very high-pitched voice, and then he climbs onto the deer, refusing to make eye contact with me. Ohhhh, I goofed. "Um, are you- do you want to be in front again?"

"Will it make you feel better?"

"Uh-huh." Oh my Jeb, he's so cute, I want to kiss him so badly, how did I go so many years without kissing him? How did I manage to let him go the first time? Why did I let him go? The city wouldn't have cared. Dawn and Alesa were way worse than Ty would've been, and, honestly, no one would've cared that we were two boys instead of a boy and a girl! The city is half gay, no joke, we are the gayest city on the map! There is so much gay going on on a daily basis! No one would have minded, Sky, why did you give him up?

"Um, Sky?"

I snap out of my self-disparaging internal rant and force a smile. "Sorry. Um, yeah, I'll sit in front."

"Are you okay?" he asks quietly, seemingly having gotten over my 'love' nickname from earlier.

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm, I'm fine."

"Are... you sure?"

"Of course! Seto, are you ready to fly?"

"I don't know, are we?" Seto calls, glancing around at everyone.

"Let's get this show on the road!" Jason yells.

"We are not a show, and we are not using a road!" Tyler yells after him.

"It is a figure of speech!" Brice yells, and I internally hats-off to him for making it three whole yells.

"Giddy up, little buddy!" I shout, tugging on our deer's ears, and it grunts again and darts up into the air. Ty yelps and shoots his arms out around me so as not to fall off (despite the fact that he literally cannot fall off), and I smile a little since no one can see my face right now. "All right?" I call.

"A-All right," Ty answers meekly, and I frown. "So, those adventures you were talking about..?"

"Oh, right!" I laugh, switching into story mode. "We've had so, so many..."

☼☼☼

"Five seconds!" I screech, and our Notch deer skids to a stop, scaring the crap out of Ty, and then slowly lowers itself to the ground. "Hmm, that was a close one," I say skeptically as I help Ty off the deer, and I swear it rolls its eyes at me.

"O-Okay," Ty laughs nervously. "That, that happened just then."

"It did, indeed," I huff.

"Really? Again!?" Alesa shouts, and I lean over laughing.

"Well," says Seto as he teleports out of the tree he fell into, "we're here, at least."

"But at what cost?" Tyler whimpers, lying spread-eagled on the grass.

"Oh, get up," Jason scoffs, holding out a hand for him to grab. "Where's your old house?" He frowns. "Wait, where are you living now? In our city?"

"Uh..." Tyler shrugs. "Everywhere, sort of? Like, I stay at the Team Crafted house sometimes, since you guys aren't there to stop me, and I've stayed at Sky's a few times-"

"Um, no," Jason says, rolling his eyes. "You can move in with me."

Tyler's eyes go wide. "I- Really? But- What if you get tired of me?"

Jason rolls his eyes again. "I've been missing you ever since you moved away five years ago, Tyler. I will not be getting tired of you anytime soon."

"Um- Well- Thanks," Tyler says quietly, smiling slightly and looking down.

"Aw, how cute," I coo, and Jason rolls his eyes at me.

"Ready to go?" he asks.

"Yessir!" I reply, and Tyler nods and walks toward the gates of this new city. "Where exactly are we?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Literally on the other side of the map," Seto answers.

"Yeah," Tyler says, nodding again. "I moved here a while ago when Dawn decided I wasn't, um, safe in the city? She didn't tell me why. She just thought I would be better off here, and... I mean, she was my only remaining family, so I did it. She stayed in your city. I guess she... already, she was planning to take over, and she didn't want me tangled up in that. Especially didn't want me getting attached to the citizens – Jason – but it was too late to stop that, anyways."

"So what's it like here?" Jason asks.

"Eh. If you know how to get around, it's okay-ish, I guess. Not as fun as Sky's city, that's for sure," he laughs. "No national budder days or anything. It's pretty boring, pretty standard – some old guy is the mayor, but he kind of just hangs out in the capitol building."

"Oh, yeah, I know him!" I shout. "Sometimes the City Council makes me talk to the leaders of the other cities so we don't, like, go to war or something, and I remember the guy from this city. He's pretty chill."

"He's too chill," Tyler snorts. "There's a lot of crime in this city."

"'Safe,' my butt," Jason mutters.

Tyler leads us down several different streets – a few times, he stops and turns around after hearing footsteps other than our own. "Is it really that bad?" Ty asks, eyes wide.

"Absolutely," Tyler answers, shaking his head. "Don't try to underestimate the people in this city. It's all right, though, as long as you know which streets to avoid. Here, we're going this way."

"Head up," Ty tells me, nudging my shoulder. "The trick to surviving places like this is to keep your head up and walk with purpose, like you know exactly what you're doing and exactly where you're going. Then no one messes with you."

"You'd think I'd know that," I huff, trying to look confident.

Ty shrugs. "For the most part, our city is the type that's more likely to protect a scared-looking citizen than attack them. We're cool like that."

I glow proudly, because, hey, I made it that way! Well, I had help, of course – I can't possibly take credit for that amazing city of ours. But I started it, set it into motion, and that's something to be proud of, I think.

"Right around this corner," Tyler tells us, and then we're standing in front of a tall apartment building with an absolute crap-ton of windows.

"Are those all really necessary?" I ask.

"Not at all. Okay, um, well- crap. I haven't exactly been living here lately..," Tyler says, biting his lip.

"Oh dear," Seto mumbles, his eyes glued to the man stomping out of the apartment. "Uh, hello, sir."

The man sneers at Seto, and Brice raises an eyebrow in the universal 'oh-you-did-not-just-do-that' expression. "I don't know who you are. Get out."

"I'm not exactly in-" Seto protests, taking on the air of someone slightly offended.

"Off my property. You're not paying for one of my places, you're not breathing any of my air," growls the man, and then he spins to face Tyler. "You. Where did you run off to?"

Tyler rolls his eyes. "I left you a note, Jody."

The man's face goes an angry red. "It's Jode!"

"Sure. Did you find my note?"

"It must've gotten lost when I was cleaning out your old apartment," Jode says with a smirk.

Tyler's face pales. "You cleaned out my apartment!? What the Nether, our contract said I still had this place for another month."

"Our contract said you had to live here and pay rent."

"I do live here, and I have paid rent," Tyler hisses, gritting his teeth. "I was on vacation. And, anyways, you were still getting the automated payments from my bank account. So what's the friggin' deal?"

Jode shrugs. "Had someone interested in renting your place."

"I was renting my place!" Tyler groans, crossing his arms. "Fine, whatever, where'd you move all my stuff?"

"Sold it."

"Are you kidding me!? Fine, who'd you sell it to?"

"Richie."

"Well thank Notch," Tyler sighs, seeming to calm down a bit. "In that case, bye. Don't be expecting any more rent payments from me."

"Aw, sad to see you go, Ty."

"Don't call me that." Tyler lets out another sigh and turns around, grabbing Jason's hand and pulling him away. "Come on, guys."

"Not even gonna introduce me!?" the man shouts after us as we speed-walk away, and Tyler blows air out through his nose slowly.

"Hate that guy so much," he mutters after we're out of earshot.

"He seems like a total jerkwad," Alesa huffs. "Why'd you put up with him for so long?"

"Dawn wanted me staying in one of his places," Tyler explains. "She said he was basically family, except that he wasn't and Dawn has never lied more. I don't know why she wanted me there with him – probably just so he could stop me if I ever tried to go back to Sky's city."

"Well, he didn't do a very good job when you left a few months ago."

"Yeah. He's an idiot."

Tyler leads us down a few darker, scarier streets, and I cringe when I realize the sun's already beginning to go down. "Are we going to see that Richie guy?" Jason asks, and Tyler nods.

"Mhmm. Richie's weird, but he's all right. He's got more money than he knows what to do with, so he just buys stuff and then hoards it. Just because he can, I guess. Luckily, that means he probably hasn't touched my computer at all other than to stuff it in one of his hoarding houses."

A few more backstreets later, Tyler stops us, and we stare into a stereotypically dark alley where a stereotypically scary figure leans against a wall. "Tylah!" the figure greets, grinning and stepping out of the shadows slightly. The man is fairly old with his white hair and wrinkled skin, so he doesn't come off as very threatening, save for the creepy entrance and the creepier trench coat. "Me an' the boys 'ave missed ya. Where ya been?"

"Away," Tyler replies vaguely. "I was wondering if you happen to have in your possession a grey laptop with a Neko Atsume sticker on the lid?"

"Oh my Jeb," I giggle quietly, and Ty silently elbows me.

"Ah, straight t' da point," the man – Richie, I guess – grumbles. "Fine, fine. Yeh, I got it."

"Well, can I have it?" Tyler asks, crossing his arms. "It's mine, and I'd like it back."

"I can't jus' give it to ya."

"So what are you selling for these days?"

"I don't sell inymore, boy. Jus' buy."

"You always sell for something. A few months ago, it was rotten flesh." Tyler rolls his eyes. "So what is it now?"

"'Ey, I upped m' standards since da las' time you saw me, boy. I don't t'ink you can afford t' get yer laptop back."

"I can."

"Oh?" Richie chuckles, letting out a hacking cough. "Interduce me to yer friend, there." He points a snaggled finger toward Seto, who suddenly looks very vulnerable with his floppy brown hair falling into his eyes and his robe hiding his slender frame and making him look more fragile than he is.

"That's Seto," Tyler replies slowly, skeptically. "Why do you ask?"

"I wan' 'im."

Brice splutters. "Well, that's just too bad, you can't have him!"

"You can 'ave yer laptop back, an' I'll take da boy."

"No," Tyler says firmly. "Seto will stay with us. We'll trade you something reasonable."

"Take 'im, boys," Richie growls, and five figures dressed in black step out of the most shadowy shadows and start moving towards Seto.

To Richie and his minion things, it must look as though Seto is shaking in fear. But I know him well enough to recognize that he's not afraid, he's amused – he's laughing and trying his darndest to hide it. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," Tyler warns Richie, because he knows Seto fairly well by this point, too. But Richie just cackles, and his minions continue forward.

"Well," Seto chuckles, shaking his head and beginning to levitate about a meter into the air, "he did warn you."

Two of the minions freeze, assessing the situation as Seto rises higher and higher and his hands are illuminated by the glowing purple orbs now hovering in his control. The other three baddies transition into a sprint, ending in an attempt to jump up to reach Seto. "Ah ah ah," Seto says, grinning. "Globi flammarum!"

A ball of purple flame shoots down at the three over-confident minions, but right before it hits, one of the two smarter minions yells out, "praesidium!" and an orange, almost-transparent shield appears in front of the three. Seto's fireball spell bounces off, though Seto dodges the ricochet easily.

"Oh," Seto says, raising an eyebrow. "I see. Well, this ought to be interesting. Formidulosus spicis!" Purple spikes spring out of the ground beneath the two smarter minions, but they call out some kind of spell in sync, and orange and blue magic pounds the spikes back into the ground before they can do any harm. Then the two minions yell something that sounds intimidating, so I make a move to hit one of them over the head with my trusty budder sword.

Unfortunately, the three non-smart minions apparently have some form of magic as well, and one of them casts a quick spell that sends me and the rest of my friends (save for Seto) flying back against the wall. Another of the three casts a spell that binds us to the wall, and, as much as we struggle, we can't break free.

"Now," Seto says placatingly, "let's be civil. Proteget eos." A just-barely-opaque shield of purple magic forms around me and my friends, and Seto smiles his 'calm-down-you-violent-five-year-olds' smile. "You must have some sort of conscience, surely. In an effort to reach this conscience of yours, I must inform you that, since the majority of my party is from another city, and since each city has a Respawn Mechanism of its own to support its citizens, then, should you attack us and manage to actually kill us, we will not respawn, and you gentleman will forever be held under the burden of a murderer's guilt."

"I'm a gentle-woman," one of the smarter minions hisses, and then all the minions fire at Seto at once.

"I see," Seto sighs, dodging their blows. "In that case, I don't apologize if my friends and I mercilessly loot the remains of your bodies."

Seto fires spell after spell at the minions, but they seem to be holding their own fairly well. Seto manages to knock two of the minions unconscious, but then one of the others finally finds a vantage point. "Tacite!" she yells, and the next time Seto opens his mouth to shout a spell, no sound comes out. His eyes widen, and he uses a hand spell to wave away an oncoming blast, but it only barely works – before falling away, the attacking magic hovers a little, as though it's about to break through.

Seto darts around in the air while waving his hands about, trying to unmute himself, I assume. But nothing is happening – he's getting nowhere, and the battle is starting to get worrying. Seto has three fairly competent sorcerers attacking him, and he's only got a fraction of his power available to him. "Exhaurire!" one of the baddies yells. A huge, wispy orb of orange magic launches at Seto and hits him dead-on, and Brice screams for him since he can't seem to scream for himself.

"No, Seto! Seto!" Brice cries, and the magic shield that was protecting us fades away.

"Mourn him," the "gentle"-woman says with a smirk, and we're released from the hold of their magic.

"Seto," Brice whimpers, kneeling down next to him. "Seto, wake up."

"Is 'e dead?" Richie asks, frowning. "Can't use 'im if 'e's dead."

One of the minions shrugs. "If he is, you can just pick out one of the others. They haven't exactly got a great defense at the moment."

"W-Why- Seto-" Brice wipes his eyes.

"That one ain't gonna mind much," one of the other minions comments, pointing at Brice.

Brice sniffles quietly and then lifts his head up, just barely. He raises a shaking hand and holds it out towards the minions as though to ask for a hand in getting up. Richie smirks, and Brice bites his lip.

"D-Duratis," Brice mumbles, and Richie and his remaining minions freeze over.

"Holy crap," Ty whispers, and then he runs over to sit by Brice. "Holy crap."

"Brice, oh my Jeb," I breathe, sinking down next to Ty as the rest of our group slowly moves toward us. "I- Oh, geez."

"Is he okay?" Brice asks meekly, tears running down his face. "I- Seto never taught me any healing spells."

"Um," Alesa says simply, feeling for a pulse.

"Thank Jeb," Jason says, sighing in relief. "He's got a pulse, at least. Fast one, but, yeah- it's fine."

Brice lets out a relieved sob.

"Well," Tyler says breathlessly. "Um. Well."

"That happened," Ashley laughs. "Geez, Brice, you saved our butts."

Brice smiles weakly, and then we hear a quiet groan and look down to see Seto propping himself up on one elbow. "H-Hey." Seto swallows, closes his eyes, and then opens them again. "I swear I didn't freeze those guys before I went down."

"Brice did it!" I say excitedly, bouncing in place a little, and Seto grins.

"Really?" he asks, looking up at Brice, who blushes a lot before nodding shyly. "Agh, I'm so proud of you! That's amazing, Brice."

Brice blushes even more, and Seto sits up properly in order to caress Brice's face gently. Ashley screams silently and almost passes out, and Seto just laughs quietly and then leans in and kisses Brice. And when Seto finally ends the kiss and pulls back, he smiles warmly at Brice and repeats, "I'm very proud of you."

"Never seen more 'heart' in my life," Brice breathes, and Seto grins.

"Calefacto-" gasps a voice from behind us, and Seto jumps to his feet, faces the voice, and pulls Brice behind him. We all turn to watch with wide eyes as the ice around the minions almost immediately thaws – one of the minions had melted enough to be able to mutter a thawing spell. Great.

"You," Richie hisses at Brice, who whimpers slightly and holds on tightly to Seto's robe. "Punish 'im."

"Iudicium scaenis unus!" a baddie chants, and dark blue particles of magic dart through the air until they make contact with Brice's skin. The poor boy yelps and sinks to his knees, clenching his fists around the bottom of Seto's robe, and Seto freezes.

"S-Seto," Brice whimpers, and Seto doesn't move.

"Scared?" Richie asks, smirking at the still-frozen Seto.

"You should be," I answer for him, trying to hide the smile that twitches at my lips. And then it begins.

"Et visitabo super vos! Dignus es aeternae damnationis!" Seto scream-chants, rising into the air slowly and raising his hands as though summoning the devil. Purple magic, darker than anything I've ever seen Seto use, fires forth from his hands and entraps the minions. "Quod Notch vivi condemnabit te impendere apud inferos mille Nether! Filii tui certamen omne onus sub antiquo maledicto! Ut prætereuntes non recessit ab aspectu tuo ferant!" Seto pauses to growl, and he looks truly terrifying as his dark purple magic tightens around the minions and squeezes, lifting them high into the air. The baddies scream in agony, and Seto's shoulders shake. "Cetera extrema fortuna habeas aeternum Et nunc adhuc? In laqueum et in magica, non ad salutem! Tua te carorum hoc passus propter iniquitates! Ut te pigeat opem!" Seto's magic begins to harden around the minions, leaving them trapped in a painful purple clay-like substance that's hardened into the rough shape of a heart. "Ut vos sentire dolorem, quam ter decies misit super amica mea!"

The minions go silent.

"I-It didn't hurt that much," Brice mumbles, tugging on Seto's robe to bring him back down to earth.

"Oh," Seto says quietly, sounding distracted. "Sorry."

"U-Um... Are you okay?"

"Yes. One moment."

A few seconds later, Richie faints.

"All right, come on, what was all that about?" Ty asks with wide eyes. "You obliterated them."

"Ah. I, ah, my apologies. The spell that gentleman had begun to cast was easily identifiable. That spell is completed in three stages, the first being a short, painful shock. The second fills the victim with a paralyzing fear. And the third leaves the victim to suffer the pain of eternal damnation."

"O-Oh," Brice squeaks. "Uh, thanks for not- not letting them do that."

"Of course, love."

"Holy- geez," I laugh, sitting down on the ground. "That was awesome!"

Seto chuckles, and Tyler rolls his eyes and then frowns. "Why would they cast such a big spell on Brice when all the poor guy did was cast a little ice spell?"

"The terrible thing is, the spell is easy," Seto replies, shrugging. "The even more terrible thing is that the spell is fun. It gives the caster a rush, a high. It's like taking a drug – it's easy to get addicted to the thrill. Most dark magic casters tend to get addicted to spells like this one."

"Wait, just then- were you casting dark magic?" Alesa asks with wide eyes.

"I don't do it often."

"Do me a favor and don't get addicted to it," Brice laughs breathily, and Seto smiles.

"I won't."

"Oh, Notch," a raspy voice groans, and we turn to look at Richie as he slowly gets to his feet and tries to stagger away.

"Ah, I think not," Seto snorts, reaching out a hand. Richie glides toward us with a petrified expression, and Seto shakes his head. "Idiot. Where's the laptop?"

"Ha, haha, it's, it's in m' red ware'ouse! N-Not far from 'ere! Heh, I won't even charge ya da f-full cos'! You can take it for as li'l a' two pieces o' rotten flesh!"

"Thanks for the offer. We'll take it for free instead."

"Ha, o-okay!"

"Well," Tyler laughs, "what a lovely transaction."