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***Joshua's POV***

"We don't usually do this." Mak states as he sets up some game. I have no idea what it is.

"I was promised a steak dinner. Now I'm locked in an apartment you fuckers." I grumble without any weight behind it.

"If you want to live in Gavin's world, this is what you get." Martin warns me.

Well, I do want to live in Gavin's world. I will deal with the shit show he calls friends. They are fucking fantastic. I wouldn't tell them that. I barely fit in the room with these massive walls of muscle let alone if their egos got any more inflated.

"Here. Drink this. It's not spiked." Martin pushes lemonade into my hand while Alexei hands me pizza. I smile. They make it easy to be chair bound.

"We are all going to go in a circle and tell one secret. No rules. One secret. If your secret passes the panel, Joshua, you don't have to drink. If he gives a thumb down, you have to slam back the shot." Mak warns the others.

"This is asking for trouble." Amelia giggles. I like her. She is like the mama bear of this group. Martin seems to be the daddy bear. I shudder just thinking about the word daddy. That is what he is though. Papa doesn't fit. He is a daddy of a man. Even I can see it.

"Joshua, this is okay right?" Mak asks me for the second time tonight.

"Dad's fine. He can drink if he chooses." My son takes the words from my mouth while sending one of his comforting smiles in my direction.

"I want to hear it from him." Mak tries again. I get it. Mak is the mama bear of this house. Grey is the daddy. These dynamics are fascinating. They are also a little fucking hot but, I wouldn't say that.

"Yes, Mak. I am fine. I don't want to drink the bottle or burn the house down." I try to convince him.

"Good. Don't do that please. I just got the baby to sleep. I would hate for the sirens to wake Cara." Mak sends pleading eyes in my direction.

"Who let's you two walk around with those things?" I ask pertaining to Mak and Gavin's puppy dog eyes. They are weapons.

"Daddy!" Gavin states as he bounces up to my son-in-law-to-be and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

"Figures. Softie." I accuse with a smile.

"Let the games begin." Mak announces.

"Hold it!" Mario clears his throat. Him and Kip are fucking huge. Jesus Christ. Those two take up a good majority of the room with their big ass muscular frames.

"What now?" Kip questions. He is staring at his husband with a glare. I like those two a lot. They are so damn quiet, but a lot is said when nothing is actually said.

"Where the fuck is Mark?" Mario alerts us that Mark is MIA. Again.

"I was getting Gavin Oreos because I do not want a repeat of that one night." Mark states as he walks over handing Gavin one plate of Oreos while passing me another. I like Mark, for now.

"Thank you." Gavin and I smile brightly as we twist the first cookie and lick the cream.

"Who wants to go first?" Alexei asks, passing the buck. Obviously.

"You." I demand. Alexei squirms. That was my intention.

"The judge makes the rules." Gavin giggles sending me a thumbs up.

"What do you want to know?" Alexei asks as he sits back taking a sip from his beer.

"The game was you let out a secret." Mak reminds Alexei.

"Well, I think that is a little vague. Why doesn't someone just ask a question they want an answer to and we answer it. That way, we don't end up licking feet by the end of this." Alexei argues with a grimace.

"You lick Gavin's feet. Don't act higher-than-thou." Mario accuses with a grin.

"One time. Does that count as the secret?" Alexei tries as he smirks.

"We already know that to be true. Nice fucking try." Grey points at Alexei with a laugh.

"Someone ask a damn question or I'm not playing." Alexei pretends to be over this game.

"Calm down you big ogre. What was the first thing you noticed about Gavin? Like what made you want him?" Mark asks with a soft smile.

"Easy. His eyes." Alexei looks at my son as if God himself was standing beside him.

"Ahem. What made you want to fuck him?" Sebastain asks making me cackle.

"That's two questions, asshat." Alexei alarms.

"Judge?" Sebastain looks at me with a begging tone ringing off his blue eyes. They are electric. That man is really good looking. Gavin did warn me. I was warned. Sebastain Fucking Royals is fine as hell. Even to a straight man.

"Answer it." I shrug. It's a game after all.

"His ass. Happy? That bubble butt was bouncing across Sebastain's hospital room and all I could think is that I wanted to get my hands on it. Happy?" Alexei growls out. I am fucking ecstatic. I give Alexei a thumbs up.

"And he has been all up in it ever since." Gavin practically drools while getting to Alexei. I turn my head. I don't need to see this shit.

"Mark!" I bark out. Mark needs to answer a question. I want to be the one to ask.

"Yea, Joshua?" Mark looks at me innocently. He shouldn't. My son talks.

"Weren't you straight?" I ask knowingly.

"Mostly. I mean. Yeah." Mark answers. I can see his skin pinkening already. Perfect.

"So, how did you end up with Sebastain's cock lodged up your ass?" Mak calls out making the room cackle.

"We switch." Mark growls out. The laughter gets louder.

"Answer the question." I remind the hot seat contestant.

"You look at him and tell me you aren't at least a little turned on." Mark points to his husband. Mark's eyes are immediately filled with lust.

"I'm not in the hot seat." I shrug. I don't have to admit to shit.

"Drink." Mak tells Mark. I laugh. Mark would be the first one to break the rules.

"Whatever." Mark slams back the shot before putting the glass back on the table. Mak immediately refills it. It's going to be a long night.

"Gavin." I point to my son. I hope he doesn't answer. I think a drunk Gavin would be funny.

"When is the wedding?" Grey asks.

Gavin slams the shot back faster than I can turn my thumb down. Alexei looks at his husband incredulously. I have to admit, I thought that would be an easy one.

"It's a surprise. I'm not answering." Gavin waves his hand away.

"I will go next. Do your worst." Amelia slides in fingering the rim of her shot glass. I think she is thirsty. I bet she has some secrets though.

"What's your favorite position?" Martin asks. I cough. I was not expecting that shit.

"Do you want me to tell them, or would you like me to drink?" Amelia asks as she eyes Martin menacingly.

"Both!" The guys yell. I shake my head. Gross ass motherfuckers. That's Grey's mom.

Amelia lifts the glass, slamming back the shot like a sorority girl. I smile. She reminds me of my Eloise in the day.

"He knows the only way I do it is drunk. If you guys are wondering." Amelia drags out the answer. That tracks.

"Answer." I state. "Or you take another." I change the rules of the game.

"Bent over the hood of the car." Amelia winks at Martin who cackles before dragging her into his lap. I laugh boisterously. She reminds me of my Eloise. We had really good times. Really fucking good times.

"Mak." Grey points to his husband.

"You know everything about me, Daddy." Mak rolls his eyes. I smirk. I doubt it.

"I don't know why you haven't let me tie you to the bed." Grey states with a look of determination.

Mak picks up the glass, rims the shot with his tongue and washes it down fast. I can see the challenge in his eyes. He is playing with fire.

"You have to earn it." Mak states with finality that makes my head snap to Grey.

"What do I have to do?" Grey is over his husband quickly, begging.

"You will think of something." Mak promises. Mak slides away from Grey's arms leaving Grey heaving breaths. I swear to God that Mak and Gavin should teach classes on how to hold a man by the balls. Alexei and Grey are whipped.

"Kips turn." Mario offers. I agree. Kip needs a turn.

"Do Sebastain first, please." Kip shakes his head, sliding down into the couch as if that will hide him from the hot seat. Fast chance. That's like trying to hide a tank on a car lot. Not fucking happening.

"I will go." Seb sends a sweet smile to Kip who makes prayer hands as a thank you.

"Okay. When are you two having kids?" Alexei asks. I think that is pretty bold coming from the two that haven't even set a wedding date. I digress.

"Waiting." Mark picks up a drink and takes it quickly. Sebastain groans before he is drinking too. The contention between the two piques my interest.

"Why?" I ask without having the authority to do so.

"Because my husband won't let me." Sebastain grumbles with a sneer towards his man.

"Because I would like to know I am not fucking raising them by myself. That's why." Mark answers as he pours another shot and drinks it before heading out the door.

"What was that?" Mak asks with a hand through his hair.

"I will go check on him." Grey gets up looking severely worried. He gauges the room as he heads toward the door. I don't know if it's the best idea that anyone goes to check on him right now. He might just need a moment to collect himself.

"Grey, Son. Give him a minute. Just wait." Martin echoes my worry when he puts his hand down on his son's arm. Martin softly looks at Grey before dragging his eyes back to Seb.

Sebastain looks utterly devastated.

The crowd is quiet. No one seems to be able to move past the stillness that stands between the living room and the front door. I don't know enough about what has happened to make an educated guess on where to begin fixing things.

Gavin obviously told me about Sebastain's cancer. I can assume Mark struggles with that prognosis every day. Even a clearance letter doesn't stop our minds from thinking of the what ifs. I would know. I lived through it with Eloise. The what ifs became my what nows.

"I'm not just sitting here." Gavin stands up, stomping over bodies as he climbs over to get out the door. He flies by without anyone trying to stop him.

"Sebastain, do you know what Mark is talking about?" Mario questions. I guess Gavin's sudden movement has started a ball in motion.

"Well, obviously it has to be the cancer." Kip issues softly. He isn't chastising his husband. It's just a commonsense reminder.

"I don't have cancer. Not anymore." Sebastain gets indignant. I understand. I don't want to be called an alcoholic either. It is what I am. Just because it is at bay does not change the fact that it exists.

"But that is what he is talking about." Amelia confirms. She's right. The silence in the room is like an unwelcomed victory flag for cancer. You may have beat it, but it still lies in wait. It still holds power over your life. Just like alcohol, except no one chooses cancer. No one.

"I am half-way to remission." Sebastian doesn't sound proud. He sounds reserved. It's as if saying it welcomes the creature to come back to latch on.

"We are proud of you, Seb." Alexei sends Sebastain a warm smile. Sebastain nods, no warmth. It's just an acknowledgement.

"How often do you guys talk about it?" I ask. It needs to be discussed. It's a big deal.

"Not often. If at all. Once I was cleared, we try not to bring it up. It's a sore subject." Sebastain admits. I know. I get it.

"That is probably an issue, Honey. Mark might need to talk." Amelia offers her Mama Bear insight. I agree. Just because something is uncomfortable doesn't mean it is unhealthy. Mark probably has fears and deserves to discuss those.

"He gets so upset. He always ends up crying." Sebastain reveals. I can see the pain behind the words. Sebastain doesn't want his husband to suffer. Mark doesn't want his husband to suffer either. That's love. But we do the hard things so the hard things don't become impossible.

"Let him get upset. Let him cry. Let him throw things and scream. I bet he will feel better once he finally gets it all out." I usher out my advice quickly knowing I have no business doling out advice. I don't have a place with these people. I'm a guest.

"Sebby?" Gavin's voice is careful. I can hear the emotion thick and contained. It is unlike my son to be in control. I already know he is going to ask for something important.

"Yeah, Gav?" Sebastain puts his attention on my kid.

"Uncle Mark would like to talk. He would like it if you listen. He wants everyone to be here because he needs the support. Remember when everyone was there for me. That day I told you all about my parents, I need everyone to do that for Uncle Mark. Is that okay?" Gavin looks ten years older somehow. He seems more mature than he has been since he reignited our connection.

"Absolutely." Sebastain sits up straighter. I see the way he steels himself for whatever may come. There is fear but there is so much damn love I don't worry about whatever may come.

Mark walks back in with my son's hand firmly laced between his fingers. Mark, not a small man by any means, looks fragile while my Gavin looks strong and confident. Gavin holds onto him with credence radiating off him that would make any father proud. I am that father. I am proud.

My son looks collected holding on to his friend as if he is ready to carry him through whatever this journey brings them through. I send a small smile of appreciation to my kid. He needs to know that he is doing something magical.

"I want to start by saying I want to have kids with you Sebastain. I have always wanted that. I love you. That hasn't and will never change." Mark begins. He is shaking. Mark is absolutely terrified. He is already so overwhelmed with emotions. It's tangible in the room.

"I love you, Mark." Sebastain offers in return.

"I knew coming into this that we would have a tough road to hold. I don't mind. I am willing. I am able. I have never faltered in my belief that we will face this head on and win." Mark looks as though he is about to break. His denim blue eyes are swimming in tears. The man is drowning in the waters of whatever he has been holding back.

The room is quiet, listening. Each person is readily available to support their friend. It is stunning, to say the least. My boy has an incredible support system. Mark will never walk alone either. This group is fucking everything. I am so lucky to be here witnessing it.

"What I can't do is spend my life wondering. I can't sit by letting this shit eat me from the inside out, pretending I am not fucking dying inside. That is exactly what has been happening. That is exactly what it feels like. I feel like cancer has crawled inside my bones to make it a home. It lives inside of me, consuming me." Mark takes a deep breath. He chokes on it when a sob escapes.

Gavin rubs his back, whispering encouraging words. Mark takes a moment to cry against my son's shoulder. I want so badly to help. It is so hard to sit by and do nothing when a good person is falling apart.

Mario stands up, bringing Gavin a box of tissues that seemingly appeared from thin air. Gavin slides a few into Mark's hand, never breaking the contact between their intertwined fingers. Sebastain looks ready to break. Alexei slides over, holding Sebastain up against his frame with a comforting hug.

"Most days I see it, the progress. It helps. I see how strong you have gotten. I hear the steady beat of your heart. Your hair, your skin and even your nails flourish. It gives me a sense of peace. I hang onto those little things. But I watch. I see. I look for the minute changes, always waiting for the shift. I worry about the shift. I think about it when I wake up, when I sleep, while working. It fucking consumes me. I wake in the middle of the night to check on you because I am so damn scared that I am going to miss a sign and we will be sliding back down the hill. I am worried we will be back in Italy." Mark takes another breath. It's heavy, much like the topic. It's frightening exactly like the picture Mark is painting of his experience with life and cancer.

"I will be there. Every step of the way. Just like I promised. I'm not going anywhere. That's if I know about it. If you, my husband, trust me enough to inform me when you get a red flag on your blood work. If I don't open an email by accident and see that your red blood count is low. If I don't watch you scurry off early in the morning to go to a doctor's appointment. If you don't fucking lie to me. Telling me that you are at a gig when really you are at a damn center getting a PLASMA TRANSFER!" Mark breaks. He shatters. He screams loudly, picking up one shot after the other as he takes them back with shaking hands. I wipe the tears that are escaping from my eyes. I didn't see it coming.

"SEBASTAIN!" Alexei's voice is commanding, accusing and admonishing all at once. Sebastain cowers beneath my one-day son-in-law. Sebastain opens his lips, but words don't come out. He closes them. Opens them. He looks like an electrocuted fish.

A minute passes with stunned faces looking at Sebastain with anger, worry and condemnation.

"I didn't want you to worry. It wasn't a big deal. I'm fine." Sebastain tumbles the words out quickly attempting to assuage the situation.

"I KNOW! BECAUSE I CALLED THE FUCKING DOCTOR!" Mark gets louder. The vein in his head throbs visibly. He looks like he will have a coronary. My heart is pumping so fast the alcohol starts calling my name. I shut it out. I send it home.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to say to keep you from stressing out." Sebastain tries again. He fails.

"YOU DON'T GET TO MAKE THAT DECISION. IT IS NOT YOURS. I AM YOUR HUSBAND. YOU SAID FOR BETTER OR WORSE. THIS IS THE WORST. I AM FUCKING DISAPPOINTED. YOU DISRESPECTED OUR LOVE. YOU DIDN'T TRUST ME. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME WHEN YOU FUCKING NEEDED ME. YOU ROBBED ME OF A CHANCE TO PROVE THAT I COULD BE THERE." Mark screams the words before he holds onto my recliner for support. I slide my hand over his hoping that the silent comfort will calm him down. When he squeezes my fingers, I know that he needs something to keep him grounded. He is losing his shit.

"AGAIN. YOU DID IT AGAIN." Mark whispers the last sentence and a flood of memories rip me back to a conversation that Gavin and Alexei had about Sebastain and Mark's love story. Again. He did exactly the same thing as before.

Send Help! I don't know how Sebastain is going to fix this.