We accept the love we think we deserve.
by Stephen Chbosky

Kiana woke up in a startle and as she tried her best to recollect her reality, she blinked a few times, then rubbed her eyes with her hands while she sat up. Taking a look around, she realised she was the only one left in the office and darkness had taken over the day. Earlier, when the sun was still at the verge of setting, she felt her eyes grow heavy with sleep, so she had decided to give herself a few minutes of rest, but now, it seemed she took more than that.

Kiana let out a sigh, feeling a little exhausted, as she leaned further away from her desk. She picked up her phone with the intention of checking the time, only to immediately stop as she caught sight of her new wristwatch. She put up a simple smile, feeling a little silly about her habit. She turned the phone on and that's when she noticed the text message from Nicolas. The memory of the day all came back to her. She had forgotten about Nicolas. She took one look at the time the text came in and realised it has been about ten minutes now. She let out another sigh of relief. She was still going to make it to him. She couldn't afford to let this problem draw any longer. Everything would have to be sorted out that very same day.

Without wasting a second more, she got up to her feet and began sorting out everything on her desk, as quickly as possible. Afterwards, she got her handbag ready for her to leave. She first put on her shoes before wearing the handbag over her shoulder. She took the first step forward to leave, but by the second step, she instantly came to a halt.

"Enrico." She pronounced nearly in a whisper, before turning towards the direction of his office. She had forgotten that Enrico was back and in his office, but then again, she recalled the fact that she had fallen asleep so during that period, he could have left without letting her know. Never mind that, she would have to check up on him before leaving, so she walked forward. She placed a light one or two knocks on his door and when she couldn't hear a thing, she decided to slightly have a look in, so she slowly but carefully opened the door to a little entrance.

Her head popped in first and her eyes scanned the office for any sight of him. Eventually, she sighted him with his head on his table. Judging from how still he remained, she could only resolve to two conclusions. He was either dead or asleep. Kiana wasn't going to accept the first option on any kind of occasion, so she chose the second. She made her way carefully and gently into his office and towards him, while trying her best not to wake him up. She only stopped when she was by his side. He seemed to have laid his head on the table without support from his arms, as she could see them resting on his lap right below the table.

She stared at him for a moment and when no movement was sighted from his part, she decided to have a closer look at him. Kiana squatted beside him and only after another moment of staring at his face did she decide to bring her index finger a little close and below his nostrils. A simple smile formed on her face as she felt his soft breath on her finger. Thankfully, he was alive. Although Kiana withdrew her hand away from him, she couldn't do the same with her eyes. They seemed glued to his face. Watching him sleep made her retain the simple smile on her face. She couldn't help but admit how angelic he looked while he was asleep. He seemed so peaceful. Enrico rarely fell asleep in the office, which made her think of the fact that he might be really exhausted, but then again, she wondered why didn't he just get up and head home. He was the boss and no one would question his movements. She thought of another fact that he might be trying to lead by example.

Once again, Kiana couldn't resist the urge of lightly stroking his hair with her fingers, careful enough for him not to notice. His hair was soft and although she couldn't run her hand deeper through it, this would suffice. Whilst staring at his face and lightly stroking his hair, Kiana admitted to herself that something had definitely changed within her. She recalled the kiss they had shared and she could feel herself go through almost all the emotions she went through then. It was pretty obvious that her feelings towards him had changed. Something had definitely changed, but she still lacked the ability to decipher exactly what it all meant. Was he back to being her very good and caring friend or was there something else a little special than what they already have? If only she could get the answers to her question, then perhaps, her relationship with Enrico would become a little better than what it was.

Suddenly, his eyes opened and as hers instantly met his, they slightly widened, while she stayed frozen out of panic and surprise. For a moment of her staring into his eyes, he uttered not a single word and Kiana could feel her heart sink in. How was she going to explain her presence here? How was she going to explain what her hand was doing on his head? As he fluttered his lashes a bit lazily, Kiana realised he still seemed a little sleepy. Counting one to three in her head, she quickly withdrew her hand back to her side, then forced herself to look away from his eyes as she stood straight once more.

"I..." She started, deciding to have the first say, but at the moment, she could barely get the words out.

Enrico gently raised his head off the table, his eyes still on her.

"... I just wanted to let you... know that I'm leaving." She completed, without being able to look him in the eye.

When she heard nothing from him, she was forced to look up his face and their eyes met. After what seemed like a while in staring into each other's eyes, Enrico suddenly looked away.

"Okay." He replied.

She stared at him for a moment before eventually looking away. Her brows slightly furrowed. Honestly, she had expected more than an 'okay', but that was all she actually got. She had to admit that he was acting a little strange since the kiss. For a moment then, she understood it was a little awkward and unusual for the both of them but, on her part, she was starting to think he was creating unnecessary tension between them. She didn't like it one bit. In fact, it didn't please her to see him that quiet.

Kiana shifted her eyes back to Enrico in an attempt to open up about her thoughts, but then the courage suddenly disappeared as fast as it had appeared.

Forget it.

She told herself, feeling a little pissed off before looking away and without wasting a moment more, she made her way out of the office.

Enrico shifted his eyes to the door right after Kiana left. A sigh escaped his lips as he shut his eyes for a moment. With his elbows resting on his table, he buried his head in his hands. Truthfully, having to not say much to her, was taking a toll on him. It made him wonder if he was doing the right thing. Was he indirectly replaying the past all over again? Kiana didn't deserve the attitude he was showing her. Yes, he has feelings for her, but Kiana doesn't know any of that. He didn't want her feeling sorry once again for not making things go his way. It was his fault. His heart had chosen her once again and she didn't have anything to do with that. Enrico felt guilt wash over him. He didn't want her feeling bad. Actually, he didn't want her noticing that he has made the same mistake as in the past. He enjoyed her presence very much and felt happy whenever she smiled.

Enrico quickly got up from his seat and hastened his steps towards the door. He rushed out, then eventually stopped to take a look around for any sign of her, but he was too late; she had left. Enrico let out a sigh while he stood for a moment regrettably. He, then, made a decision to somehow let her know that everything's okay when she eventually got home.

* * *

She pushed the transparent door made purely out of glass before making her way into the restaurant Nicolas had asked her to meet him at. Kiana stood for a moment, while her eyes scanned the restaurant for any sign of him. She didn't sight him at first look, but by the second, her eyes fell on him as he gave a light wave. A simple smile plastered on his face. Before venturing further, Kiana took in a deep breath.

"Hi." Nicolas greeted and Kiana managed to put up a brief smile, alongside a response.

"Hi."

She watched as he took out a chair for her opposite from his seat.

"Thank you." She appreciated as she had her seat and he had his as well.

She took one look around to know more about her surroundings. Nothing about it seemed familiar and she concluded that she had never stepped her foot in there before. The interior decoration was simple and without taking a look at the menu, she chose to believe an average man could afford, at least, a meal here. Perhaps, she was right. Perhaps, she wasn't. It was only a guess. The restaurant was neither full, nor empty.

She shifted her eyes back to Nicolas, who was seated directly in front of her. A simple smile played on his face. She barely reciprocated it.

"I'm glad you could make it." He finally spoke up, breaking the silence that had lingered between them.

Kiana said nothing regarding his comment. She just looked away from him for a moment, feeling a little uncomfortable. Right there, Kiana decided to state her purpose and leave right away.

"Listen, Nicolas..."

"Sorry, but no serious conversation until we're done eating." He interrupted anything she had in mind to say. Feeling a little short of words, Kiana stared at him.

"The menu's right in front of you. Make your choice and I'll let the waiter know of your order." He explained, as he pointed to the menu on the table right in front of her.

"That's nice of you but I..."

"Please." Nicolas interrupted once more with a plea, but this time, the smile on his face had somehow varnished only to be replaced by a subtle expression. The look in his eyes pleading for her to play along.

After staring at him for a moment, she let out a silent sigh before picking up the menu from the table.

"Thank you." He appreciated and as she looked back up to him, she noticed his simple smile had returned. Kiana accepted the fact that this conversation might not happen immediately, but it was definitely going to happen. She was going to play along, have dinner and smile, but that was it. Sitting right here in front of him was making her feel guilty. Guilty of not letting Enrico know of Nicolas' presence. Eventually, she looked away from him and down to the menu.

"Thank you." She appreciated as the waiter set her food on the table in front of her. The same happened with Nicolas and once again, they were left alone.

After putting the first piece of her food into her mouth and chewing, Kiana raised her eyes up to Nicolas, who apparently seemed to have eyes on her already. As their eyes met, a broad smile formed on his face.

So weird.

Kiana couldn't help stating those exact words in her mind as she recalled exactly how mean Nicolas had been in the past. At the moment, the transformation all seemed too strange to her. It made her question the possibility of someone changing so much and she recalled Enrico, but his case was a little different. Enrico was good in the past and he still is. The only difference is that he had somehow managed to cover up the goodness in him.

"This is nice." Kiana started and Nicolas' eyes brightened with hope. She noticed that, but decided to keep going.

"But this really can't happen." She added and watched as the smile on his face slowly died down.

"It's not you. I mean, you're a great guy. You've turned out to be a great guy but..."

"But your memory of me is just filled with bad scenes. It's too weird. Too awkward for you to now hang around with me, right?" He interrupted and only after he finished his statement that he looked up to her.

She felt a little sorry just from the look on his face. She really wasn't trying to hurt him.

"Nicolas..."

"I like you, Kiana."

What?

Her eyes widened at his sudden confession. That really wasn't what she expected. Staring directly at him, Kiana realised how composed he was, even though he just confessed something that might strain whatever sort of friendship they might have. There was a strange boldness in his eyes, on his face and it actually marvelled her.