For the first night in ages, I have a decent night's sleep in the girls' dormitory. I swing my short legs off of the bed that felt like a f*cking table onto the hard, cold, tile floor. As I put weight on my legs, I feel my whole body growing colder, steadily. I guess these are the effects of a cold floor.

I was monotonously getting ready, same as always, until I remembered: Tobias. I swear, if he's going to be a b*stard, I might just walk out and call him out on it, but that would show the Candor side of me.

It's not easy, belonging to all five factions in a monotone society. It feels as if you're stranded in a cage that has no key, but you're locked in. It feels like a combination lock that you cannot possibly get open, no matter how hard you try. I stare into the Dauntless mirror, still finding it very weird, the prospect of looking into a mirror for what seems like f*cking eternity. I still don't understand people's fascination with their own reflections; it seems almost pointless, unless you have coffee stained teeth, like Abel, then you really need to brush your teeth.

"Kat?" Jo asks from behind me.

I look back and face my friend, studying her shaved head.

"Should I dye my hair purple or green?" Jo asks.

"Your head is f*cking shaved!" I exclaim.

Jo rolls her eyes, making it pronounced, just so I notice. "I do have hair. Just because my hair is short doesn't mean I don't have any hair at all. Come on, Kat, dye your hair with me!"

I roll my eyes. "I'm not sure if I want to, but thanks for the offer."

"Shape up, stiff, come on. Do it," Jo says, laughing like a crazy person.

That's when I realized how much I miss Becky. She was the tranquility to Jo's craziness. I thought Becky and Nathan would get together. Boy oh boy, was I wrong.

I laugh. "Sure. As long as I don't have to dye it mucus green, I'm fine."

Jo snickers. "So the answer's purple then?"

I laugh, smirking. "I never said I didn't want to see you humiliate yourself."

Jo rolls her eyes. "Come on, Kat, decide!"

I shake my head, still laughing, looking at Jo's dark skin, glistening in the artificial lights of the Dauntless girls' bathroom. We then walk out of the dorm and into the cafeteria, heading the shuffling of footsteps surrounding me.

Bonk! I feel something relatively soft hit my head. I turn around, ready to kick someone's *ss, but then, I see my boyfriend, smirking at me, holding a roll of sourdough bread in his left palm. He lets his pearly white teeth shine in the lights of the cafeteria.

"Earth to Kat," I hear a somewhat-deeper voice whisper from behind me, smelling of dark roast coffee.

"What do you want, Abel?" I snap, guessing who it is immediately.

Abel laughs loudly; normally his laugh is soft and more reserved, but not today. Today he laughed, resembling a dog's bark, almost perfectly, mimicking it to a t. I turn around.

"Get your food," Abel says, looking at me, "You're dazed, looking at your boyfriend."

I elbow Abel in the gut. Abel winces.

"Geez, girl, you salty," he retorts.

I roll my eyes and grab my food, right before walking to the table. I sit next to Jo, Abel, Rainbow, Matt, and Nathan.

"My favorite couple to third wheel," Abel says, drawing his words out.

"Stop," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Oh, how I admire you," Nathan teases, just wanting to pester the f*ck out of me.

I smile, slightly blushing.

"KNEW IT!" Jo exclaims, "Rainbow, you owe me 20 dollars!"

Rainbow rolls her eyes, handing Jo 20 dollars. Jo smells the money and flaunts it in front of Rainbow.

I hold the money down on the table, stopping Jo from being an absolute brat. "Be a good sport."

"Be a good sport?" Jo questioned, "What are you? Still a stiff?"

Nathan rolls his eyes. "She's my girlfriend, that's what. If you mess with her, you're dead."

I smile, blushing. "Thanks, Nathan."

"Hey, Nate?" Matt asks his best friend.

Nathan rolls his eyes at Matt. "Don't ever call me that again," he snaps, his face turning into one of anger.

I dig my fork into my eggs, shoving every bit of food that's on my fork into my mouth and swallowing it quickly. I take a sip of my hot, black coffee and devour it slowly, savoring the sips of what gets me through the day.

"Chill, Nathan, chill," Matt replies, "Just hear me out, now will you?"

Nathan smiles. "I guess so," he says, while digging his fork into his eggs. Today is the first day that eggs were served at Dauntless; eggs are more of an Abnegation food. He swallows his mouthful of eggs relatively quickly.

"Good to see you're eating," Matt whispers, getting a glare from his best friend in return.

"Wow, displaying my private life, classy," Nathan says sarcastically, throwing shade at Matt.

Abel starts laughing uncontrollably, spilling a jug of hot coffee onto Natalia, the person who's sitting next to him. Natalia screams so loudly, it rips my f*cking ears off!

"Run," I whisper to my coffee addicted friend as he runs off.

The rest of the group keeps laughing.

"What were you going to say, Matthew?" Nathan asks, raising an eyebrow.

First, Matt glares at Nathan in return, rolling his eyes. I guess Matthew's his full name; I could've guessed. Matthew is one of the most common names in Candor, Abnegation, and Dauntless. It's like Sarah; you'll find a Sarah and a Matthew pretty much everywhere. Then, Matt tries to communicate with Nathan through some non-verbal telepathy or something, causing Nathan to nod out of bewilderment.

Finally, Matt clears his throat.

"All that suspense for nothing?" Jo practically screams.

"Hey, Nate, I saw you and Kat ice skating a few months back," Matt says, smirking.

Nathan and I both turn bright red at the same time. "We never-"

"Shove it," Matt says, smiling like the Cheshire Cat, "This is a cute Nat moment!"

"Nat?" Nathan and I ask at the same time.

"Abel and I talked it over last night, it's the best ship name," Matt says, smiling like there was no tomorrow.

I roll my eyes.

"Nat. I kind of like it," Nathan says, grabbing my hand from under the table.

******

My eyes shot open after being in the simulation chair for what seems like f*cking hours. My brother looks down at me with a look of concern on his face.

"What were your results?" Tobias asks me.

I feel incredibly dizzy from the fear simulation chair. I walk over to the nearest sink, which is conveniently located in the fear simulation room, and grab a Dixie cup before filling my cup with water, leaning my head back and feeling the ice, cold water trickling down My throat.

"Sit back down," Tobias practically orders.

"You can't order me around, you know," I snap, still drinking the water.

"I'm your teacher, remember that," Tobias retorts.

I swear; I want to strangle him, but I refrain from hurting him in his state of immaturity, that f*cking crybaby.

"Catherine F*cking Eaton, what were your results!" Tobias roars, straining his vocal chords.

I scoff. I can be rude when I want to be. "And that's your business because?" I ask my older brother.

He bangs his hand against the table. "You better tell me, I'm your brother!"

I laugh. "I'm Divergent and that's all you need to know."

Tobias rolls the dark pits he has for eyes with a dramatic flare. "I'm your brother, you forget that sometimes."

That stops me in my tracks. "What do you mean?" I ask, my voice softening.

"You act like I'm a disciplinarian, how bout this: you are forced to f*cking disappear and you don't see your sister who grew up in a h*ll hole for three f*cking years!" Tobias roars, making me cringe, "You don't eat much, you look like you don't get any sleep, you're depressed as sh*t!"

I glare at my brother, flabbergasted by what he just said. "How did you—?"

"How did I what? Notice? It's really obvious! Your boyfriend's been trying to make you eat! Your boyfriend is a troubled person himself, even though he doesn't show it; you don't know how d*mn troubled he is!" Tobias yells, his vocal chords pleading for him to stop, but he keeps going, "You will never know what the h*ll Nathan's hiding!"

I pause for a beat, before saying, "Sorry, Tobias. I'm sure I've made your life f*cking h*ll."

How does Tobias know about Nathan? How does he know we're dating? Why does he know?

"How did you know—?" I ask, almost speechless, trying to get information out of Tobias.

Tobias laughs, resembling a bark, making the walls shake due to his loud pitch. "One of the instructors has to keep an eye on each Divergent."

I'm not surprised he hasn't told me. I haven't told him either.

"I'm the one who sees his fear simulations. I know who exactly Nathan is and why he's here," Tobias says proudly, "Not even his brother could get it out of him."

I pause for a beat. "What the hell? Why is he here?"

"He's not scamming you, I made sure of that," Tobias says, "But you're much smarter than I. You would've known if someone scammed you."

I shake my head, replying with, "That's not true, Tobias."

Tobias nods, dismissing any of my prior claims. "Yes, yes it is. You and Nathan need to finish Stage 3 in order to remain safe. You need to stop acting like a Divergent. Nathan's done better, you've done— you've done alright."

"Stop being an *ss and ignoring the trial," I snap, getting straight to the point, "That trial is important as f*ck, you know it!"

Tobias's eyes land on the white, tile floor of the fear simulation room. "Yes, but those murders happened a decade ago. More than. Those murders were committed when Rainbow was a small child."

I pause, glaring at Tobias. "What do you mean?"

"It's a distraction from what really matters. Not training, but something big. I can only tell something's going to happen soon," Tobias replies, looking at me with sympathy, "Dauntless wasn't this chaotic when I transferred, you know."

I look my older brother dead in the eye. "What do you mean by that?" I ask.

Tobias doesn't answer my question; I know he wants to protect me but we live in a place where we're trained to use guns and knives.

"What do you mean?" I ask again, a little more directly this time than last, yearning for my brother to answer.

Tobias still doesn't answer, walking back to his computer and randomly clicking keys, trying to detach himself from me.

I drop the Dixie cup filled with water, watching it spill on the cold, tile floor around us. I walk up to my brother and shake him by his shoulders, trying to get him to respond. "Tobias, answer the d*mn question," I snap.

Tobias sighed. "The reason I'm not answering is because I don't know. Leave it at that," he mutters, watching me walk out, "One more thing."

Tobias shuts the just opened door, much to my dismay.

I glare at my brother. "What do you want?"

"You know you can talk to me, right?" he asks, "I know this is a huge change for you. You haven't been well mentally in f*cking forever."

It all clicked. Tobias might be using me as bait. "Thanks, Tobias, as can you."

Tobias smiles, his beautiful dimples shining in the artificial light of the fear simulation room. I wave to him before walking out of the room.

What does he mean by that? "It's a distraction from what really matters," I remembered, a shiver crawling down my spine.