"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself."
-Jean Anouilh

Hex was starting to spend more and more nights at Jeff's house now that he was back at the ranch. It was the one place, except the bridge, where she and Gus could be truly alone. She didn't know if Gus had told Jeff, and she didn't want to know out of fear of him saying that she couldn't anymore. It felt too good to wake up beside Gus.

She had always imagined that dating Gus would make her feel like a babysitter, but it didn't. Instead it was like his only mission in the relationship was to make her feel cherished and held, and she reveled in it. There had never been another time in her life when she had been so taken care of by anyone.

Gus was always thinking of her, trying to anticipate what she might need or want, and his selflessness took some time for her to get used to. She had always taken care of herself. Her earliest memories had taught her that no one could be trusted, that people were selfish and unpredictable creatures at best. But Gus wasn't like most people.

Gus looked nervous tonight, like there was something he wanted to say but was holding back. An hour ago he had texted Hex asking her to come over, and now they were sitting cross-legged on Gus's bedroom floor, their knees and foreheads touching. Moon slept peacefully on Gus's lap.

Sometimes Hex just wanted to spend time in the silence looking into Gus's eyes like this. Whatever feelings it stirred in her were heightened and intensified a thousand fold when she did this, and it was like a drug. She had done it with Adam when he was alive too, and in those long silences they'd had some of their best unspoken conversations.

"I have something for you," Gus said softly.

"You do?" Hex asked, trying not to be annoyed that the silence was broken.

"Uh huh. I've been saving for it for awhile."

Gus reached into his pocket and pulled out a small jewelry box. Hex was feeling the beginnings of panic, thinking maybe he was going to propose to her. And what could she say? She never wanted to marry anyone. It just wasn't for her.

Before she could worry more, Gus had already opened the box, and relief flooded her when she saw that it contained a necklace instead of a ring. The silver chain had a small butterfly pendant with little diamonds on the wings.

Hex had never worn jewelry before, even now that life was normal, and she didn't know what to say. The necklace wasn't her. It was way too girly and sweet. But when she looked away from it back into Gus's eyes, all she could see was the love for her that had inspired the purchase, and she thought about how long he had spent saving the money. For that alone, she would wear it forever.

"Oh Gus," she whispered. "I love you so much."

He smiled. "Do you like it though?" he asked nervously.

"I love it, because I love you," she answered truthfully.

"I know when we were homeless, there was no way you could have somethin' like this, and even though I never see you wear jewelry, I didn't want it to be because you don't have any," Gus said.

He took the necklace out of the box and Hex leaned forward so he could clasp the chain around her neck. Her fingers automatically went to the butterfly pendant, and she quickly moved it back and forth on the chain, creating what she could already tell would become a new habit.

"Thank you," she said softly. "You're so sweet to me."

Gus laughed nervously. "Oh... um... I just love you. That's all."

Still touching the butterfly pendant, Hex leaned in to kiss him. That kiss turned into another and another and another until it became a full and passionate make out session. Moon was irritated at being trapped between the two lovers and squeezed her way out under Gus's arm.

"Gus?" Hex murmured against his lips.

"What?" Gus whispered.

"Has anyone ever made love to you?"

Hex pulled away and looked at his face. She put a hand against his heart, feeling its fast rhythm. The quickness made her think of Daisy for a moment, and she shook the memory out of her head. There was only one thing she wanted to think about tonight, and it wasn't the sadness of the past.

"I'm not sure what you mean," Gus replied.

"I mean someone who didn't just make love with you, but to you."

"I still don't get it."

"Can I?" she asked.

"Can you what?"

"Make love to you."

Gus nodded slowly. He leaned in to kiss her neck, but she gently pushed him back.

"No," Hex said. "Let me do everything."

"But I wanna kiss you."

"We will. Just not now. You gotta stop talking and just let go and trust me," she said softly.

"Okay," Gus said.

They stood to their feet. Hex started by tugging his shirt over his head and working his shoes, socks and jeans off. Then she did the same to herself, leaving only the butterfly necklace on.

"First," she said, walking behind him. "A massage. Lay down on the bed."

While Gus got comfortable, Hex went to her bag and grabbed the little bottle of lotion she'd brought. Then she straddled Gus's back and ran a hand over his forest fire tattoo. It had healed beautifully and was almost impossible to look away from. The colors were so vivid; bright orange, yellow and red contrasting with the sharp black branches of burning trees. Clouds of black birds flew into the sky, looking like flakes of ash rising into the air.

Gus jumped slightly as she touched his back.

"Relax," she told him.

Hex could feel how tense he was when she began to massage his shoulders.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I just never had a massage before," Gus said sheepishly.

"Oh, well there's nothing to it. Just relax. It feels really good," Hex said.

"I'll try to relax." Gus closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Nothing to worry about," Hex whispered softly into his ear. "Just let me touch you."

She rubbed the lotion between her hands to warm it, and after a few minutes Gus seemed to relax and get used to the feeling of her touch. She could feel the old scars that were now concealed in the tattoo, and she followed each one with her fingertip.

"Can you still see them?" Gus asked quietly.

"Nope. I can only feel them. This tattoo is really incredible work," she said.

"Thank Ethan for that," Gus mumbled.

"Did he draw it?"

"I drew it, and he tattooed it."

"Seriously? This is your own artwork?"

Gus nodded. "I wanted it to look exactly a certain way, and I knew it would take a really long time and cost a lot of money, so I didn't want to waste Ethan's time making him draw it."

Hex chuckled.

"What's funny?" Gus asked.

"You. You think about everybody. You're always trying to make things better for everyone. It's really sweet," Hex said.

"Oh. I didn't know I do that," Gus said.

"Just another reason I fell in love with you. Roll over onto your back."

Gus responded to the slight pressure of her hand pushing his shoulder. Moon was once again forced to find another sleeping place, but Gus was too distracted to notice the annoyed flick of her tail as she jumped down. Hex went back to her bag and took out two long strips of cloth. She folded one into a thin rectangle shape and draped it over Gus's eyes.

"What're you doin'?" Gus asked curiously.

"Shh," Hex whispered.

She lifted one of his hands and pressed it against the cold bars of the headboard, tying it there with another piece of fabric.

"Stop! Stop it!" he cried.

Hex took the fabric off his eyes.

"I can't do that!"

She quickly untied his hand.

"I'm sorry," Gus said, looking away from her.

Hex touched his face. "It's okay," she whispered.

"So embarrassing. You must think I'm a fuckin' nutcase," Gus mumbled, rubbing his face in frustration.

"No I don't, and it's alright. I understand," Hex said.

She felt awful. What was she thinking? She would have to remember that Gus was much more sensitive than Adam had been, and maybe things they had done in that relationship simply couldn't happen in this one. She had understood Adam so well, knew every single one of his triggers, but so much of Gus was still a mystery to her.

"You can do anything else to me. I just need to be able to see and move," Gus said.

"Gotcha."

"I hope that's okay."

She chuckled again. "Baby, it's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now... you said I can do anything else to you huh?" Hex whispered softly.

Gus grinned. "Yup."

He closed his eyes as Hex kissed his neck, his throat, his chest and stomach. He gasped as she took him in her mouth, teasing him with her tongue, and he reached his hand down and buried his fingers in her curly hair. She straddled him and slowly slid up and down his shaft, warm and slick with desire. Gus gripped the sheets as she groaned softly.

"Hex... oh my god... please..." he whispered.

Hex chuckled softly. "Am I being mean for making you wait?"

"Yes!" Gus said with a laugh.

"Am I tormenting you?"

"Yes!"

Her pace quickened, and she moaned as she came, then lifted her hips and allowed him to glide into her, and they were one. Gus closed his eyes for a second, then opened them to look at her.

"Goddamn... you feel so fuckin' good," he said.

Hex laughed. "Same to you."

It only took a few swift movements of her hips to make Gus come too, and both were left shaking from the intensity. Hex stayed there for a moment as their lips met, and then she slid off of him and rested her head against his chest.

Gus wrapped his arms around her. They were quiet for a long time, eventually drifting in and out of sleep. Moon curled up against Gus's neck as usual, and that woke him, which woke Hex.

"Hex?" he whispered.

Hex sleepily opened her eyes. "Hm?"

"I feel like I need to explain."

"Explain what, baby?"

"About earlier, and why I couldn't..."

Hex shook her head. "No. You don't. Adam had his triggers too."

"Really?" Gus asked.

Hex nodded. "What? Is that surprising?"

"Adam always seemed... stronger than me," Gus said quietly.

Hex sighed. "I know he did. He acted tough around everyone else, but sometimes when we were alone, he'd just break in my arms and there was nothing I could do. Stuff happened to me too. We were all foster brats after all. Unwanted. Throw aways. I can guess what happened to you because of the way Adam acted. If you want to tell me, you can, but you don't have to."

She felt Gus take a deep breath. "A lot happened to me."

"Was it the person who made the scars on your back?" Hex asked gently.

"You really wanna hear all this shit?"

"Gus... I love you. You matter to me. What happened to you matters to me."

Gus closed his eyes. "Yes, it was. A foster father. I thought I had made peace with it at the ranch, but I guess..."

"Just because you dealt with it doesn't mean the pain goes away," Hex said. "When that happens, focus on now. Focus on the people who love you. Focus on me, baby."

Gus kissed her forehead. "I know. It helps."

"You will never have to live through any of that ever again," she whispered.

Gus nodded. "I know."

"I know it pops up sometimes, happens to me too, but you let it go. Let it go. Life is different now," she said.

"Life is better now," Gus murmured.

Hex closed her eyes and smiled contentedly. "Hell yeah it is."

"Hex, I am so glad I found you again."

Hex smiled. "Same."