Casey Jones was being an idiot.

Raph grumbled from the couch as he glared at the human. He was being more of an idiot than usual and it was pissing him off. He watched Casey 'woop' at the new song that played over the speakers and throw an arm around Mikey who seemed thrilled and oblivious at the tension in the room. He turned away when Mikey beamed at him and put his own arm around Casey.

Casey had been late to their Mutation Day party but that wasn't the reason Raph was angry. He understood why he had been late. Hell, they had talked about it before too, so Raph knew Casey was going to arrive a good hour and a half in. What he didn't expect was a drunk Casey showing up and making a fool of himself in front of everyone. He could feel Master Splinter's disapproval rolling off him in waves at Casey's behaviour and it was probably the reason why he hadn't gone to bed at the usual time to let his sons enjoy their free time on their own. Casey was ruining everything.

They had barely even been able to see each other the past couple weeks. Casey had the semi-final and final hockey games of the season and he'd been spending most of his time with his team preparing and hanging out to build morale. He got it, it was important to him so he didn't complain even when he realised the final match would be on their mutation day and it meant that if they won Casey would have to show up to celebrate with his team and be late to the lair. He had been looking forward to seeing Casey so much that everything else seemed unimportant to him and he was surprised to find himself upset at how much fun Casey seemed to have at the other party... without him. He wasn't jealous. Really, he wasn't jealous! Shut up.

Now, his drunk behaviour meant he couldn't be around Casey the way he wanted. Master Splinter's ears were slightly flattened against his head even though he looked to be calmly enjoying his tea and listening to Kirby talk about his work. Raphael wasn't fooled, he knew he had his attention partly on them, frowning every so often. Leonardo kept looking between him and Casey while trying to do some damage control as he hovered over the teen suggesting he sit down or lower his voice.

It had been a bit better when there were more people around but the Mutanimals left a while ago. He had been glad to have a chance to hang with Slash before Casey arrived but they all seemed a bit out of their element in the social gathering and politely said their goodbyes to make their way home early. April would be spending the night here at the lair and she was talking with Donatello in a corner of the pit bench.

The song changed again and Raph sighed and pulled off the stupid party hat Mikey had made him wear for the photos. He crumpled it in his hands and looked up when a pair of ripped jeans entered his line of sight.

"Come on Raph, this is supposed to be a party!" Casey grabbed him by the hand before he could react and yanked him up to his feet. "Don't pout in a corner, babe, I'll take you out to dance." He cackled obnoxiously at his own joke and Mikey snickered beside him. He seemed to enjoy Casey not being cautious and correct around other people. They rarely showed any signs of affection or mentioned their relationship even if it was only their brothers who were present. Leonardo's eyes widened and he tried to cover up the comment by babbling over him about something else.

After pulling him up Casey failed to step back from him and when Raph's plastron bumped his chest he staggered back. Raphael reached forward and steadied him with a large hand on his waist. Casey seemed to take this as an invitation and he pulled his other hand and started dancing with Raph. In front of everybody!

Mikey laughed and joined right in when Raph pulled his hands away and tried to slap Casey's off him and they kept moving to the beat as if nothing had happened. He was matching each of Casey's silly moves laughing right along with him. Leo looked uncomfortable until he caught Mikey's wink and joined in too, looking at Raph apologetically. Even April coaxed Donnie off the bench to dance with them all in a group jumping up and down and being ridiculous together.

After a while Raph relaxed slightly when Casey didn't try anything else, even if he was gyrating and pumping his hips every so often, seemingly to the whole group but sending Raph heated glances. Raph rolled his eyes planted a hand on Casey's face when he got too close and pushed him back while the gap-toothed teen laughed his head off and tried to incorporate it to his sloppy dance routine. It wasn't until Casey reached out and groped Raph's behind, under the bottom lip of his carapace, that Raph stiffened and angrily slapped Casey away.

Raph's eyes darted to Master Splinter who was still sitting on the couch. Kirby had gone earlier and he didn't have that added distraction. He managed to intercept his arm when he tried again and pushed him away angrily. What are you doing?! He tried to say with his eyes but Casey just shrugged at him.

"Jeez, Raph, what's your problem?"

This was not going to end well, Raph was furious and not even his brothers were able to help by distracting Casey and putting some space between them while laughing it off as some joke. Didn't the seriousness of what he was doing reach his alcohol drowned brain? If Master Splinter had seen or suspected anything... He decided he'd had enough. He pushed Casey back once again and stomped off to his room, slamming the door behind him without saying a single word to anybody.

He heard the music stop a short while after and the others say goodnight and head to their rooms. Leo poked his head in to give Raph a smile and an apology he didn't want to receive and tell him that Casey was crashing in the living room. Raphael grunted and turned to his side on his bed with his shell to him. After a sigh he closed the door and he heard the sound of him entering his own room, closing his door and then the click of his lamp.

Raphael sat up on his bed in the dark for a while. He felt anxious and afraid of what his father thought of him after tonight. Maybe he would be confronted with questions in the morning, his gut was twisting and he started feeling nauseated at the idea. It's not that he thought he would be kicked out because of his relationship with Casey, though the underlying fear of that scenario was there. He just couldn't stand the thought of his father's disapproval in this. He didn't want to see his father look at him with disgust. This was something so important to him and if his father was against it and made him choose...

Raphael brought a shaking hand up to his face and rubbed his eyes. He was terrified of his father's reaction, it kept him up some nights. He knew he would have to tell him soon though, they couldn't keep up their secret forever and deep within his heart he thought it would be amazing if his father would just look at him and smile and tell him everything was all right.

Raphael's door opened and he looked up to see Casey step inside and forget to close it after him. "Raph? You awake?"

Raphael shot out of bed and lunged to Casey, grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him all the way into the room. He looked around outside to make sure no one had seen him before shutting the door as quietly as he could.

"What are you DOING?!" he whispered angrily at him.

"Relax, everyone's asleep."

"Master Splinter could still be awake! Casey, what the hell?!"

"Shhh, I just wanted to tell you goodnight and give you your birthday present. I won't be long, I promise."

Raph hadn't bothered to turn the light on, not even his pumpkin lantern, and they were completely bathed in the dark. He started to turn towards the light switch when he felt Casey's searching hands on his plastron. "Wait, lemme get the li-"

Casey's fingers curled around his belt and he was shoved against the wall. Casey's mouth pushed forward against his face, he missed his mouth by an inch and got him on the side of his snout before feeling Raph's face with his hands to find his lips and adjust his position holding Raphael still.

Raph bit back a moan, he had missed Casey's taste so much, but he was supposed to be angry. He had made an ass of himself in front of his father and nearly blew their secret in the worst way possible. He pulled away from Casey's sloppy, but heated kiss and turned his head to the side.

"Casey... someone could hear us..." maybe his father was still awake and would check up on Casey to find him missing on the couch. So many things could go wrong but his mind blanked when Casey's warm mouth found his neck and his hands slid over Raph's shoulders squeezing his muscled arms. They shouldn't be doing this in the lair, they had a rule about that and had been following it without a problem until today. Raphael sighed when Casey's lips parted and he lapped at his neck. Maybe just little bit would be okay...

Casey searched for Raph's mouth with his, painting a wet stripe along his jaw and cheek. Raph was moving his face away to escape but Casey put a hand on his cheek and pulled him back, kissing him passionately. He tasted of cake and cheap beer and everything that was uniquely Casey. His blood ignited and he answered the kiss with just as much passion making the boy groan into his mouth. At the sound, he lifted a hand to back of Casey's head and took a fist-full of greasy hair using it to pull his head away from him. Casey's lips left his with a loud smack. He couldn't take the thought of being found out of his mind and it dampened his pleasure even though he burned for Casey's touch. If they would have been anywhere else he would be on top of the boy, pulling off his clothes and probably getting punched for ripping another of his favourite t-shirts.

"Why do you have to be so difficult? You always have to fight me." Casey complained before pulling his hair away and latching onto Raph's neck again, this time with more teeth, just the way Raph liked it.

"Shut up." Raphael breathed out, holding back a moan. Casey pushed a knee between Raph's to spread them while he slid a hand against the soft inside of Raph's thigh and moved slowly upwards between his legs. Raph should be pushing him away, but his arms hung limply at his sides, hands twitching, his body warring with his mind about Casey's attentions.

"No! Casey... we're going to... get... into trouble." The teen found his stiffening tail and Raph's complaints trailed off when he started to caress the swollen slit. "Ahh..." he moaned quietly with a grimace sounding as if he were in pain. He spread his legs slightly apart to accommodate Casey's hand and lifted his own to slide underneath the back of Casey's shirt.

"Casey..." He sighed. It felt so good... Casey pushed a couple fingers inside him and he whimpered helplessly when they brushed the tip of his hidden cock and then squeezed past it, pushing and sliding them gently against the tender flesh.

Maybe they could do this if they were quiet. He wasn't worried about himself, he was a ninja after all but Casey wasn't one to hold back, specially not when he was still kind of drunk. Maybe he could gag Casey. He looked around trying to focus through his haze. His eyes settled on his mask hung up beside his bed and the image of Casey gagged with it brought a surge of pleasure through him. A rumbling churr was building up in his chest and his blood froze as he realised what a terrible idea this was, that awfully loud sound he made would wake up the whole lair.

"S-stop!" He cried out, starting to push Casey away again more urgently and then everything went to hell.

The door burst open revealing an enraged Splinter who took one look at them and yanked Casey off Raph by the collar of his shirt. Raph yelped at the sharp stab of pain at having Casey's fingers pulled roughly out of him and he doubled over, one hand between his legs and the other keeping himself off the floor.

"You!" Splinter yelled angrily and Raph looked up wide-eyed and completely terrified at his booming voice, feeling about four years old. "Get away from my son!"

Casey squirmed and pulled his shirt out of his grasp and Master Splinter just adjusted the grip to curl his hand around the back of his neck and haul him off the floor and across the living room. When they left his room Raphael stood up on shaky legs and followed trying to find his voice through his terror to stop this nightmare from happening.

The doors to his brother's rooms opened quickly once the commotion started and they ran to the living room, stopping when they saw what was going on. Casey was trying to make Splinter listen to him to try 'be reasonable' that they were just 'messing around' and it just angered the rat further. His brothers seemed to be frozen in place while his father stalked to the turnstiles and practically threw Casey towards them.

"Get out of my home!"

"What's going on?" Leonardo asked, trying to get Master Splinter to turn to him. He didn't.

"Did you not hear me? Leave this place!"

Mikey whimpered and looked to his brothers. April was holding onto Donnie with one hand and covering her mouth with the other not understanding what was happening. Raphael limped to Master Splinter and latched on to his arm as he extended it to grab onto Casey and drag him out of the lair himself.

"Wait!" he sobbed, "Stop! It's not... This isn't... He isn't..." He couldn't get a sentence out while he pleaded with his father as he tried to pull his arm away, trying to think of what he could say to diffuse the situation and not make things worse.

"You are hurt." Master Splinter had noticed his limp and Raph could smell the subtle scent of the few drops of blood that trickled from base of his tail which was now trembling and curled tightly between his legs.

Splinter shifted his furious attention back to Casey and Leonardo stepped in the way before anything else would happen making Splinter turn to him. "Donnie, April, take Casey back home. We'll get your stuff to you tomorrow." He was looking at Casey and everyone was quiet while they followed his orders.

"Raph, I'm so-" Casey turned to Raphael who was still holding onto Master Splinter's arm and shaking.

"Go!" Master splinter ordered and Donnie pulled Casey away quickly and out of sight. He turned to his son who was still attached to his arm and gently pried off his hands. "My child, come with me."

"No! Wait, it's not what you think. Please, listen, Casey isn't..." Raphael was crying openly, desperate to make his father understand but not knowing how to do it.

Master Splinter firmly pulled Raph along with him but when he heard him hiss and limp he lifted his son into his arms and headed to the infirmary with a stern look on his face. Raphael struggled but the movement only made the sting worse. Casey must have cut the soft flesh with a fingernail when his hand was yanked out of him. He didn't think it would be serious but it did hurt a lot.

As they approached the infirmary Raphael hugged his father close as he tried to control his tears. He could only explain everything and hope for the best. He tightened his grip a moment before releasing him and trying to get him to let him stand on his own. You might not want to hug me after this.

Splinter set him down gently on the infirmary bed but Raph immediately got up. "I'm fine! He didn't hurt me." but Splinter's eyes were glued to the bright red dot on the white sheet where Raph's backside had just been. Raphael followed his gaze and then stood in the way of his line of sight flushing embarrassedly and fidgeting. "It was an accident. He didn't mean to."

Splinter's frown deepened. "How long has he been doing... this... to you." He placed a hand softly on his son's broad shoulder as he spoke gently to him.

Raphael's frightened gaze met Leo and Mikey's who were standing just inside the door. Splinter turned his head to them and asked them to leave. They ignored Raphael's pleading look and stepped outside closing the door but staying close in case they were needed. "What did he do to you, where are you hurt?"

"You're not listening to me, Dad!" He hardly ever used that term with his father any more and Splinter's face softened when he heard it. "He wasn't doing anything bad to me."

"I heard some noise." Splinter continued, ignoring his son's words and speaking in a calm tone to him. "When I went to investigate I found Mr. Jones wasn't on the bench and your voices coming from your room. I heard you ask him to leave. When you cried out for him to stop I knew you needed help and I saw." He took in a shuddering breath. "You are bleeding, my child. I won't let him hurt you again."

Raphael looked down in shame. His father had seen them and was disgusted. Of course he was. Would that disgust turn to him if he told him the touch was welcome? For a moment he considered the idea of never telling him the truth if it would make his father love him and not throw him out like Casey. It might not matter anyway, he wasn't believing anything he said.

"No, you are not to blame, my son." He lifted his son's face to him. "Do not feel ashamed for this, you did nothing wrong." He pulled Raphael into a strong embrace holding his child to him.

Raphael pulled away from his father and strengthened his resolve. "I need to tell you something." He said a lot more calmly than he felt and Splinter sat down on the bed to listen. Raphael didn't lift his gaze from the floor fearing he would lose his courage. "Casey and I have been together for almost six months now." He noticed his father holding his breath. "We are dating, Dad. He wasn't forcing himself on me. He was just a little drunk and wasn't thinking clearly. We aren't supposed to be doing anything in the lair, that's why I was pushing him away and not because I didn't want him to... to touch me." He was practically whispering the last words and when he was done he closed his eyes and waited.

He heard his father's robes rustle with movement and he chanced to raise his eyes to him. Now it was Splinter who was looking away, processing what he had been told. "You are..." he paused and considered his wording looking very puzzled, "attracted to boys?"

Raphael shrugged, he had given up trying to define himself one way or the other. They were human terms and he only knew one thing for certain. "I like Casey." No, that wasn't right. He had to be completely honest. "I love him." He said softly.

Splinter shook his head and rose to his feet, turning part way away from Raphael. "I don't understand. You have never shown this kind of proclivity before. Why now?"

Raphael was confused at his question. "Why are we dating now? Well, he asked and I..."

"No." He interrupted firmly, not wishing to hear the story. "You have never shown interest in men before. You do not seem like the kind of person who would."

"You mean, I don't seem gay enough to like guys?" Raphael asked bewildered. Out of all the things he expected his father to say this wasn't one of them.

After a couple minutes of uncomfortable silence, Splinter seemed to reach a conclusion. "You are young," he nodded to himself, "you do not understand yet what love is. I know you have been isolated most of your life because of our circumstances and now that someone is offering you their affections you are confused."

Raphael shook his head. "That's not-"

"He is your friend and you do not wish to turn him away for fear of being alone. This is also why you allow him to do dishonourable things to you even if you do not like them."

"No! That's not it at all! I love Casey!"

"This not love." He turned to face Raphael and pointed at the bed sheets. Raphael's face heated with shame and he looked away.

"How do you know what I feel isn't love?"

"Because it cannot be! It is a perversion. This is not normal, my son." His tone of voice was loud and stern, almost yelling.

"What is there about us that is normal? How do you know what normal is? A lot of humans-"

"Your brothers do not show these unnatural tendencies!" He was yelling now. "You will stop this foolishness. Even if this were a normal relationship," Raphael winced at the word, "you are too young and your loyalty is to your family. Even Donatello and Leonardo understand this."

"Too young to fall in love?"

"Too young for sex! To let another do these dishonourable things to you! To taint yourself with these unnatural urges! To allow another man to penetra-" He stopped himself, not able to continue the word or think about his child that way. "To take his pleasure from your body even if it makes you bleed." He was looking at the sheets again and Raphael wanted to rip them off the bed and burn them.

Raphael fell silent at his tone. He was breathing harshly, afraid of what this was leading to. He should have known it would come to this. Splinter would never understand. If he had forbidden Leo and Donnie from pursuing a relationship with Karai and April how in the world was he going to get his father to understand how much he loved Casey Jones?

"Please, Dad," he pleaded, "don't make me choose." His voice sounded small and broken. "I don't..." he whimpered, "don't make me leave." The tears were back in his eyes.

Splinter walked over to a chair and sat down with his head in his hands. "My child," he said after a while, "I would never ask you to leave but I..." He looked to his son, his pain and fear clearly visible in his eyes. "I need to meditate on this. I don't understand. I don't understand what went wrong."

"Nothing went wrong! I just... fell in love, Dad. Is that so hard to understand?"

"Yes." He rose from the chair and walked to the door stopping and turning his head slightly after opening it, "Casey Jones may not return to the lair until I say. I would forbid you from seeing him but I know that is futile. Your brothers are not to maintain contact with him either. I do not want him to taint them as well."

He walked out and went to his rooms. Raphael didn't even bother to answer or argue any further. He sat down on the bed, wincing slightly, and was left to his misery, crying softly to himself. After a while his brothers entered the room and sat down on either side of him. Leo swung an arm around his shell and Mikey cuddled into his side under his arm, rubbing a freckled cheek against Raph's wet one.

"Don't worry, we'll figure something out." Leo said in a confident voice tugging Raph gently to him.

Raphael sniffled, leaning into his older brother and trying to control his breathing.

"He'll turn around, eventually, you'll see" Mikey offered.

He nodded but didn't say anything and tried to pull some comfort from his brothers.