So, this man was running through a field away from the police.  This man had just robbed an antique store and stolen 2 porcelain figures.

In the field, the man came across a cow.  He decided to beat the poor cow to death with the porcelain figures.

The police reported that this was the first ever recorded case...of a knick-knack paddy whack.

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(For those who didn't understand the joke)

The man had 2 porcelain figures.  They could also be called knick-knacks.  He then beat, or whacked, the cow, or something that could've one day become a patty, to death.

A knick-knack patty whack.

🎵knick-knack paddy whack, give a dog a bone🎵

🎵This old man came rolling home🎵

Or something like that.  I can't remember exactly what the old man did to get home.  Pretty sure it was rolling XD