I GIVE UP ON LIFE UGHHHHHHH I JUST WANNA DIE!!! ok lets go back

sunday i got grounded and my bf got sick i get 30 minutes to talk to him a day well lets just say he got really messed up before i told him that i can talk still he almost hung himself then he made me promise not hurt myself well he got the flu and now he talks to me about 15 minutes after he wakes up takes a shower and goes back to sleep and just seems to get upset easier than normal i swear its killing me... iv cried so much in the last few days ughhhhhh