I'm sat alone, feeling that familiar hand clench around my heart.

It feels like an eternity since I've been able to smile without forcing it.

My brain is fuzzy, racing, changing.

Blink! I'm hyper, childlike, giggling at every little thing.

Blink! I'm sat on the edge of a cliff, watching my feet dangle towards the bottomless pit. And every day, I move closer and closer to the edge, knowing that one day, I will fall.

But I can't help it. I try to control what I say, what I do. But it isn't enough. I drive people in my life away. People call me every name under the sun.

Fat.

Retarded.

Faggot.

My emotions collide with my temples, cascading a waterfall from my eyes. They roll their eyes as they watch me.

I'm screaming for help. A strong voice to drive away the crowd chanting inside my mind. Someone to take my hands away from my face, stop me from colliding my body against the world around me.

I find a voice. It's loving. Delicate. But one wrong word...

And I'm right back where I started.

I'm scared. My mind is a hive filled with voices, and all I want to do is scream as loud as I can.

But no one would listen...

Nobody ever does.

They tell me everything will be okay. But my future doesnt run a straight track. I will change direction, and some days, I will come off the rails.

I want that voice I trust to come back to me...but now, I'm the one who needs to help people.

I need to be the one to put a smile on their faces, hiding my pain behind a smile I force on my red cheeks.

I'm rotting inside. But I need to keep them happy. They mean the world to me.

Even if I'm screaming, crying, smashing my skull as hard as I can against the wall...

I won't leave them. Even if they find me annoying, irritating, over emotional...

I'm not going to leave you. But say one more word...and that cliff will no longer support me...

(Something I mad one the spot. Needed to spill my mind.

If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you.)