So, I just lost one of my closest friends-

Yes, I know they hurt me and really badly traumatized me and others, and traumatized one alter to the point they're to scared to front anymore, and I know I shouldn't be crying but I am.

I'm sick of people that I consider to be my best friends leaving. It's just a repeating cycle of "this is my best friend" to "I hate you". I just want to have a friendship that lasts a while

I shouldn't be crying over this, they made me absolutely terrified of confrontations, traumatized one alter so much that they don't front out of fear of being attacked. They've gotten into 3 really bad traumatic arguments with us and yet I'm still crying.

Why am I crying over a terrible person who made me feel uncomfortable and unwanted.