Waking up and feeling nothing beside me worries me. Honestly. One day everything can be gone in a second and the events causing up to that single moment could've been forgotten or hard to remember. Waking up and feeling nothing beside me probably will be the end of me. I can't live without Zane, he's all I have and if I stop taking him for granted and actually listen to him maybe this time everything will be ok. Maybe this time it will work out on its own without us interfering and apologizing. I don't remember a single time where something didn't go wrong, with us it's always about wrong timing.

Having sex, the phone rings and Zane has to leave for the office. Eating dinner, Zane has to leave for a business meeting somewhere around the world. Spending quality time, Zane has to leave for a business lunch/dinner. I'm telling you it's always wrong timing with us. Always. Like anyone else, I did have doubts about Zane at first. Going to meetings somewhere around the world without me, wondering who he meets, who he spends time with. And of course I asked him, but just has any other man, his ego got hurt and assured me nothing was happening behind my back. That he would "never hurt the one thing that has made his life complete" and for a time I believed him. Until this morning.

I woke up without Zane. After the fight last night and making up, I just want him to hold me a little longer. "Zane? Zane are you here" I yelled. No response. I strolled down to the kitchen and started to make some popcorn when suddenly the home phone rang. I jumped from the sudden ring. Laughing at my self, I went to go pick of the phone. Before I had the chance to talk, there was a girl voice on the other side thinking I was Zane. "Hey baby it's Cassy. I miss you, when are you coming back to New York. I'm missing you so badly and you need to get away from that girl friend of yours. She doesn't understand like I do." Holy shit.

He was fucking cheating on me. I trusted him with my life and he fucking...he's been with another...I just made out with him last night and he's going out a fucking another girl. No. This isn't true. I know Zane, I know him way to well and this can't be true. My intentions of anyone are never wrong and I know Zane isn't like this. But then again, he's basically perfect. No flaws nothing, he's the perfect boyfriend. Maybe him not being satisfied with me and lying and sneaking and fucking girls behind my back is his flaw. I slam the phone in the charger holder and run upstairs to get dressed. If your the CEOs long term girlfriend, you gotta look pretty god damn well. Even if you were about to kill him.

I turned on the shower and sped my way through the whole showering process, I threw my dry hair up in a bun while I grab a towel and walk quickly to my room. Rushing my way through the master bedroom, I grab a tight fitted red dress that ends right on your knees but has a long slit almost to my lady parts. I toss my hair down and quickly put it in a messy wild French braid, I topped my outfit off with black stilettos and pretty big pearl earring in my first ear piercing and diamond earrings in the second one. I make my way to the bathroom and finally put on enough makeup. I grab the keys and assure my self that if this is true, I'm leaving.

I'm leaving the house. The work. The beach. The pool. Oh god the pool. Me and Zane had sex in that pool, orgasms and what not has happened in there. Before I could blink I was in front of his building and in the elevators. I turn to my left and I see this very hot elevator man things, what are those called? Forget it I'm too focused on his jawline and beard. He looks like Zane but...but... I don't know there's something there that Zane doesn't have. Is it the uniform that's turning me on? Every woman loves her man in a uniform, no matter what uniform that might be. I mentally hit my self on the head with a ruler and made a note in my mind that maybe Zane was turned on by that girl and his boner got the better judgment than him. He got tempted into something he would have never done. He wasn't thinking clearly, he wouldn't have hurt me on purpose. Right?

I step off the elevator and take one last long look at the man. God damn that boy was beautiful. I swiftly walk past all the young interns/employees trying to say "good morning" or "hello" to me. Knowing that I am Zane's long term girlfriend, you never know what's gonna happen next. Get on your knees and kiss my feet if you want to get on my good graces bitch. Actually no just be nice and I'll be nice. I usher the random thoughts out of my mind and finally reached Zane's office. I took one deep breath and shut the doors behind me as I stepped in. Before he had the chance to greet me I cut him off. "When you went to New York, who did you meet?" Back to the harsh tones and cold shoulders. Answers with a lie, Zane equals couch. Answers honestly, Zane equals couch.

".....Babygirl....w...what are you talking about? I went to New York for a meeting and in that week long period I only met with staff members who were on board with the project. Is there something going on?" Hesitation. Fuck. He was sleeping around.

"Who the hell is "Cassy" and why the hell is she calling you on the home phone asking when your coming back to New York!" Zane motioned for me to keep my voice down but instead I have him the death stare and crossed my arms. "Cassy? I don't know a fucking Cassy. This is insane."

"No you know what was insane? Thinking that all these years you've changed." Throwback to when we were in Zara's together.

"Changed? What the hell are you talking about!" Now he was the one almost yelling at me.

"Oh don't give me that. 6th grade, four fucking words Zane. Four. Making out with Kelly. I fucking caught you with the slut of the school making out with her in the janitors closet!" And here was the throwback. Anyone have a hashtag I could use to put this on Instagram.

"Holy shit. You actually think I havent matured from 6th fucking grade. I'm a CEO now, I have to be on top of my game and that includes yanking care of you. To care about you. More than you know apparently." He sighs and stands up.

"Look. If you are cheating on me, just tell me we can work this out!" Being on the edge these past few days has me breaking down at random points. Little things are starting to get me worried, stressed even. There's only one way to fix this and I'm not sure it's the right way.

"I'm not cheating on you-!"

"Excuse me sir, we have a-" She glanced up and felt the tension in the air and apologized her way out.

"We can't talk about this here Riley. I work here, I'm the god damn CEO and this has to be
professional and when it comes to you it's personal. We can talk about this at home." He sits down and I leave. As I sit in the car I realized how stupid and paranoid I've become. Why would Zane cheat on me, we've been with each other for 12 years now. This stress and paranoia was all from my mom and I've decided I'm gonna meet her. Yes meet my mom.

God bless my soul. Maybe this time I will give her my time and listen to her, understand her, forgive her. Maybe after this I can be stress free, repair things with Zane, forgive and forget. I've got this....Right??