Chapter Twelve | Dutiful Beloved My Mate

                        I really wish that I wasn't here right now. Not because I fucking hate literature and think that reading books, writing essays on said books, and analyzing the piece of literary shit is stupid — although that was definitely part of it. The reason that I would rather be cliff diving to my death instead of being in this stupid lecture hall is because Xander King is in here and his pheromones are suffocating me.

It feels like that idiot is purposely exuding a bit more of it on purpose just for me to smell it and become a ridiculous mess. No matter how many times I tried to stuff tissues up my nose, stifle the intoxicating smell with the sleeves of my grey hoodie, or hold my breath which lasted a good five seconds, it proved to be fruitless and I only wound up looking like an idiot.

Meanwhile, the dick who was sat in a different row adjacent to the row that I was seated in, was completely and utterly satisfied and even feeling proud of himself for being able to annoy the shit out of me. If I could, I'd slap him. But then I was afraid that he'd try to slap me...with his lips.

I shudder and groan as slam my head against the sleek grey narrow table in front of me that extends from Kaylee, who is on my left left side, to the far left wall where some random kid sits in the last swiveled white chair. I didn't want to think about Xander and anything revolving around physical intimacy but again, that wasn't possible and I hated it.

I hated the fact that I could still vividly remember the feeling of his skin against mine, the smell of his scent as it shifted into one that was more raw and carnal with an undiluted need to ravish his prey, the tingles that ran up my spine due to his hot fucking breath on the back of my neck, and the look in his eyes.

I swallow.

I don't think I can ever forget the look that was in his eyes. It was ravenous, threatening, hungry...Nope. I am not reliving it inside my head, that is not going to happen. I begin to forcefully shake my head like I was some kind of lunatic. Somehow, I hoped that shaking my head would shake out the memory but it was engraved inside my brain with no way to carve it out.

I jolt out of my stupid thoughts as I feel a hard thump on the back of my head. Raising my hand to rub the spot where the assault took place, I sit back up and glare at Kaylee who has an eyebrow arched.

"Why the hell are you shaking around like a crazy person?" she questioned but it wasn't one that she wanted answered as a devious smile breaks out onto her face and she leans in closer to me. In a whisper that was loud enough for me and possibly every wolf in close proximity who was adamantly paying attention to our conversation to hear, she says, "oh wait, I know. Does dry hump ring a bell?"

I slap my hand over her mouth with a glare on my face. She fucking knew. I would've been puzzled that she knew so soon but I wasn't actually the least bit surprised. The stupid shit that Xander pulled was literally during combat training where so many wolves — especially teenage and young adult wolves — were gathered so it was a recipe for disaster from the get-go.

Of course it would spread like wild fire that fucking Xander King was out here dry humping me like the animal that he is. It was probably not only being spoken about at Westwood Institute, but also the high school nearby that we all used to go to. Go figure.

"I don't want to hear it from you, Kay." I said sternly as I dropped my hand. I decided to rest my elbow on the desk and use the palm of my hand as a cheek rest instead as I looked at a smirking Kaylee.

"I wasn't going to say anything." She tried to feign innocence but we both knew that she was on some bullshit right now. She couldn't even keep up the act as the facade melted away like fresh snow on a sunny day and in its place, an evil look took over. Great. "I just can't believe that you guys were publicly dry fucking like that."

I narrow my eyes at her and corrected her statement. "There is no 'you guys' it was just him. Also, does everyone in this fucking pack have nothing better to do than to talk about shit that is none of their damn business?"

I said the last part a bit louder for the shitfaces who were clearly eavesdropping in on our conversation and for everyone to hear in general. Smiling sarcastically, I watch as waves of students turn back around to engage in fake conversations with the person next to them to disguise the fact that I was referring to them but they wanted no ounce of confrontation from me.

It costs nothing to go about your own business and pay no mind to what others are doing. But of course, gossip was a tasty meal that everyone wanted to get their hands on. Except in this case, this weeks menu special was Xander alla Jaylin with a sprinkle of dry and a dash of hump. Don't forget about the tasty dessert menu, the Alphas mate being me — a delta and his best friend who is also a dude — was being served. And everyone was just eagerly waiting in line to partake in it. Fine dining I must say.

"Can you blame the people for talking?" Aiden said absentmindedly as he continued to text his girl of the week; Braylen Quent. I didn't like her, then again, I didn't like a lot of people. He pauses to look at me but his face was all scrunched up like he was mortified from whatever thought that invaded his mind. "The smell, the tension, the vibes, everything was fucking insane between you two that day. I thought Xander was going to fuck your brains out right there and then."

Out of irritation, I slap his brand new IPhone out of his hands and it lands on the floor in between us. He glares at me and I gladly returned the look. I didn't even to fucking think of something like that happening between Xander and I. We would never have sex and he would never top. Like hell I'd ever let him enter me. But like the betraying bastard that my body was, my body grew hotter at the simple prospect of engaging intimately with Xander. I wanted to slam my head against the hard desk again but I refrained from doing so.

"I'd never let him so keep that shit to yourself." I growl.

"Is that a bet?" I heard Xanders voice in my head and I jumped a little, startled by the sudden invasion.

I lean forward a bit to look at Xander who has his head cocked to the side with a stupid smirk on his face and scowl.

"There's no need to bet on something that won't happen." I retort back in our mindlink.

He raises a single eyebrow as if intrigued and I watch as he licks his lips and flashes a smile. A smile that I wanted to wipe off his face. I loved him as my best friend but hated him as my mate and it was conflicting as hell.

"Sounds to me like you're trying so hard to believe that but what exactly would've happened if my dad didn't step i—"

I firmly cut him off. "I'd kick your ass Xander, that's what would've happened."

Xander softly chuckles to himself as his eyes sparkle with an emotion I refused to acknowledge and recognize. The urge to disappear and melt into the ground intensifies. I'm grateful when I begin to feel the overwhelming smell of his scent begin to dissipate and I can attribute that to Gnashton who sits to the left of Xander and punches him in the arm and tells him to stop exuding the smell because it 'stunk' which were Gnashtons words but I second that.

Jackson rolled his eyes like he doubted it. Fucker.

"Jaylin —"

I block Xander out of my mind or at least, I did my pathetic attempt to block him out and Xander just decided to respect my wishes. There is no real way to block out an alpha unless you are an Alpha so I knew that Xander just allowed me to have my way this time. I clench my hand into fist as I slouch into my seat with narrowed eyes. The prospect of him 'allowing' me to have my way irritated the shit out of me.

"Now that we are all done refreshing our memory of 'Dutiful Beloved My Mate', does anyone have any thoughts that they would like to share about the book?" Came Professor Uma as she walks up to the clear glass podium in her black pencil skirt and white button up dress shirt that is tucked neatly into the skirt.

Her black heels click clack their way behind the podium where she stands with a bright smile on her face. With a wheatish complextion, big and bright caramel eyes, thick tresses of black hair pulled up into a high neat bun, nose imperfectly but perfectly slightly crooked, lips stained a bright red, and ears decorated with simple diamond studs, Professor Uma was a beautiful woman who wasn't as annoying as some of my other professors and seemed to actually care about what she thought. It truly sucked that she didn't teach Law, I would've been able to tolerate her more if she did.

Her reference to the stupid ass book that she had us read as one of our assignments made me roll my eyes as I allowed my chin to rest in the palm of my hand once again as I stared blankly at the happy expression on her face.

In the corner of my eye, I watch a heavyset girl raise her hand enthusiastically with a grin on her face like she was excited to share. Professor Uma nodded towards her direction and the girl promptly opened up her little white journal that was decorated in gold polka dots and picked up a cute pink pen as she twiddled with the item and occasionally pulled her brunette hair behind her eyes as it kept getting in her round face.

"I believe that the book is inspiring and beautiful. It's admirable that Lucy Hartfield, despite being rejected by her mate Max Willford, continues to love him and tries to win him over no matter how much he hurts her. She remains loyal to him, saves herself for him, refuses any other man that tries to win her heart and stays by him even though Max doesn't appreciate her in the least. Towards the end, he finally stops refusing their connection and they begin to love each other as mates should. It's beautiful how passionate Lucy is about her mate and it really goes to show how amazing the mate bond really is between two wolves. Like...it's so important to value your mate and want to be with them even if they don't want you —"

I snort.

I didn't mean to do it as loud as I had done it but shit, I couldn't help myself. What she was saying was such bullshit to me and it was like my body was programmed to react when stupid shit was being said. The girl who was professing her undying love for the book has grown silent like she's embarrassed, and I felt bad, I truly did, but there had to be something wrong with her if she really thought that the story was in any way beautiful and dare I say, inspiring.

The professor, with her eyebrows raised and her hands crossed, glances at me with those placid eyes of hers. Yikes.

"I'm assuming that you have a lot you want to contribute as well, Jaylin?" She anchors her head to the side a little, peering up at my seated position with her full interest.

"Oh shit, you're fucked." Aiden whispers, fanning the flames and antagonizing the situation. I'd choke the hell out of him later. Just because he didn't actually the read the stupid ass book didn't mean that I didn't.

I quirk an eyebrow as I calmly look at Professor Uma, completely unfazed at her decision to call me out in an attempt to possibly embarrass me as some kind of shit punishment for interrupting her goody two shoes student of the semester.

"I do, actually." I begin, slightly adjusting my position in my seat as I lean forward and bring both of my elbows onto the desk, clasp my hands together and lay my chin on the top of my intwined hands. "I think the book is bullshit."

Beside me, Kaylee sucks in a breath, Aiden buries his head into his hands and students around me shuffle a little as their eyes dart between the Professor and myself, as if wanting to see if I had striked a nerve in the unmoving Professor who quietly listened to me.

"Lucy, like the idiot she is, mindlessly devotes herself to a man who doesn't give a shit about her. The fucker rejects her and she almost commits suicide because of the pain and yet the realization that she comes to isn't 'fuck him, I'm gonna do me now,' it's 'I'll wait for him and hope he finally comes to love and want me.'

He sleeps with multiple girls, berates her, and belittles her throughout the entire fucking book and the funniest part about the entire thing is that he somehow comes to this amazing, spectacular epiphany that he's wronged her and suddenly wants to be with her even though he made it very damn clear that he didn't want her in the beginning. And like the lap dog she is, she jumps into her knight in shitty amours arms and they accept each other. That's what you call an inspiring and beautiful story?" I laugh to myself as I shake my head.

I can already imagine the girl who spoke up before me slowly dissolving into her seat. The room is dead quiet and I roll around in delight in it.

"The story highlights how bullshit mate bonds are." I spit out with laced venom intertwined in each and every syllable. "The idea of your soul being tied to someone else's is the most shitty, ridiculous, and fucked up things to ever exist. Lucy and Max were basically forced to be together —"

"Jay." Kaylee whispers and pokes my side, trying to get me to stop but I'm heated.

" — and Max never wanted her and he should've been able to do whatever the hell he wanted. Lucy should've been able to choose a man who wouldn't treat her like shit but like shitty fate would have it, the Moon Goddess did them hella dirty and forced them to be together all because of some stupid mate bond that shouldn't exist. Mates are a fake and unrealistic trope of two souls forced to be together to foster a fake ass connection that would have never been there if they were never mated to begin with. Mates —"

"Jaylin. Stop." The growl that ripped through the air caused a still silence as shivers began to descend down my spine.

Goosebumps broke out all over my skin and I felt myself tremble in my seat as the command in that Alpha tone of his made my senses go awol. My thoughts became a jumbled mess, I had to suck in a breath because it felt like I couldn't breathe. The urge to whimper and bare my neck was overflowing through me to adhere to my Alphas command; I wanted to stab myself somewhere, anywhere.

The feeling was suffocating and overwhelming. My eyes scanned the entire room as I watched as everyone's eyes were cast downwards, their necks baring in order to show that devoted, and innate submission to their angry Alpha. The only person who was completely immune to the chilling command was Gnashton who simply watched everything unfold with interest as his eyes met my own and he looked smug, like he was indirectly telling me that I was no match for Xander King and to give up as he had said before.

A glare began to rise on my face as I clenched my teeth and stood up with my fists at my side. Without hesitation, I forcefully willed myself to look at Xander even though Jackson really wanted me to obey his precious mate who glowered down at us with those dark eyes of his. With those hardened eyes of his, he silently told me to bare my fucking neck and listen to me, obey him, submit to him, and pathetically take everything that I just said back.

I refused.

I don't know how. Maybe it was my stubbornness, maybe it was my own fiery dominance that didn't necessarily match Xanders but still stood a fair chance, or maybe it was the fact that it killed me inside to bare my fucking neck to him and submit like I was some damn lap dog like Lucy Hartfield, but I managed to lock eyes with Xander King and refuse his order despite that murderous look in those scary and dark eyes of his.

Amongst the crowd of people with their heads lowered, eyes cast down, and necks bare, I stood like the brave idiot that I am and gave him a glare that portrayed my contempt.

Looking him dead in the eye, I finished my previous statement as I said firmly, "mates don't actually love each other."

Then all hell broke loose.

———

Please do read!

I am so sorry that it took me two months to update this book, please refrain from crucifying me. I will be attempting to update more regularly however, from here on, the chapters may not be as thoroughly edited as I don't have the time presently to thoroughly edit chapters so I'm considering having an editor to look through my work before publication! If you're interested, please do dm me and let me know, I'd greatly appreciate it!

Until I find an editor, I will indeed be publishing unedited chapters and there will be a "Note: unedited" message beneath chapters until they are officially edited. I'm hoping that the following chapters to come not being fully edited does not hinder your experience reading this book, but the good news is that that means that chapter releases will be more regular!

Thank you all so much for your patience with me and I hope you continue to enjoy, love, and support this book!

Also, some of you guys will definitely have a love-hate relationship with Jaylin and find him annoying or unnecessary or whatever the case may be, but bear with him! His thought process is definitely unlike any other character in my series.

Thank you again! <3