I toss and turn a bit but I can't really get comfortable enough to sleep. The room feels extremely stuffy and I huff out a small breath of air, throwing the blankets off of me. This is ridiculous.
I shuffle around but am unable to find a position that seems to work for me. I prop up on my elbow and try to fluff the pillow, "Maybe that'll help." I lay back down and close my eyes. Nothing. All I can hear is the quiet ticking of the clock that was in the living room. I rub my eyes and then glance over to the dresser. Amy left the glasses of water there. Water might help me relax. I look at Tyler. He hasn't moved from his position of facing the door. I wonder if that's a protection thing? Is he afraid that if he turns to face me, something could attack him from behind?? I decided to crawl to the end of the bed and try to slip off, without waking Tyler.
So far so good. I use the wall as support to avoid putting unwanted pressure on my bum leg. It only takes a few steps to get to the dresser. I reach over and pull the glass to me; taking a long drink of the cold water. It sure is a lot to think about. So much has happened in so little time. And we lost too many. I sit the half empty glass down and then look down at my hands. I flex my fingers, watching them each move individually. 'You're a demon!' My stepmother's words echo in my head and I stare down at my body. A demon. What is a demon? Is it pure evil? Am I evil? I've killed others. But I did that as a sort of self defense...I think...the line feels very blurred and murky. Ever since becoming a Songbird I felt lost. Confused. The range of emotions is beyond anything I have ever felt before. Mostly rage after being broken. Broke. It's such a plain word for what happens. It hurt. I glanced back at Tyler. He looks rather peaceful. He almost died that day. He's always putting himself in danger. 'No one would want to be partners with someone constantly in fights.' His sad words linger in my head. It makes me feel annoyed. I can't understand why someone wouldn't bother to get to know Tyler better. Maybe they are afraid of him because he has come from the other side. The side of the scientists. I limp over to get a better look at him while he's resting peacefully. The scars are lighter in color against his skin, some almost white. They wrap all around his body as if someone had painted him. I reach forward and lightly touch the deeper scar upon his chest. It looked to be years old. This must be one of the scars from the years before us. His story has been written upon his body with rough hands. Life hasn't treated him well and it's about time that he understands the happiness of life; if he is willing. I shift my fingers around, carefully tracing each scar I come across. What amount of pain is behind each one? Which scar is the one that broke you? Which ones were you numb to? Which one pulled the rawest emotion from your soul?
I pull my hand back and glance at the bedroom door. This room is still stuffy, maybe I should step outside and get some fresh air.
It takes a while but I manage to make it out the front door and sit down on the front porch steps. The moon was high in the sky, illuminating the forest surrounding us. The stars seem to be twinkling in a happy little song, one that I could not hear. Are we really free? Did we really make it out from underneath the government thumb?? It was hard to believe, especially since I missed the entire shake down due to my injury. The air felt cool against my hot skin. I wrap my arms around my good knee and rest my cheek against the kneecap.
"Ethan?"
I looked up to see Tyler, "I didn't mean to wake you."
"What are you doing out here?" He asks as he sits next to me, pulling me close and wrapping the giant blanket, that he dragged along, around us. I lean against him, his cooler body was a nice contrast. "I couldn't sleep. The room was too hot." Tyler moves his hand and rests his forearm against my forehead, "Your fever must've spiked."
I just hum in acknowledgement. I was starting to get sleepy as we sat on the porch, huddled together, "Tyler?"
"Yes?"
"Do you think we made it?"
Again, he is quiet. He shifts and then moves me to sit comfortably on his lap, allowing me to rest my head upon his chest. I was mostly asleep when I heard his reply, "I believe so."

"Good morning Ethan, how are you feeling today?" Amy knocks on the front door frame because Tyler had the door open to let in the cool morning air. "A lot better." I scrape up the remainder of my scrambled eggs. Amy walks over and she immediately runs her thermometer over my forehead, "Did you sleep well?"
I nod my head, "Actually I slept better than I had in a long time."
"Drink plenty of liquids?" She writes down my answers in her little notebook. "Tyler keeps filling my glass." I chuckle and look over at the giant. He's washing the dishes. Amy cracks a small smile, "That's good and you're at your normal body temperature. Now make sure you keep eating and drinking plenty of water. Here in a couple of days we'll get you started with physical therapy with Rose."
"Sounds good to me. I'll wander around to get a look at our new home." I push my empty plate out of the way and relax back in my chair. Amy stands and brushes her hair behind her face. I stand with her, leaning, "Hey,"
"Yes?" Amy smiles slightly.
"I just wanted to remind you that you do an awful lot for this messy group and I wanted to thank you for all your tireless work." Her smiles falters slightly as tears prick at the edge of her eyes, "Thank you, Ethan," she clears her throat, "That means a lot to me."
"Seriously, without your expertise, we never would have made it this far." I reach out to pull the vampire in a hug. I can feel her shoulders shake as she cries a bit. Tyler makes his way over and grabs the empty plate, "Would you like anything for breakfast Amy?"
"N-no thank you." She pulls out of the hug and wipes her eyes clear of the tears, "I already ate."
"You're welcome at any mealtime." Tyler smiles and then retreats back into the kitchen. She clears her throat before she puts her notebook back into her coat pocket, "Oh, there's a meeting in a couple of hours to go over the finalized paperwork if you wanted to join."
"Thank you for letting us know." Tyler calls from the kitchen. Amy turns to me, "Remember, food and water, anyway I have some others to check over."
"How's Asher doing?" I ask.
"Asher's doing well. He is very smart for his age, the experiments have changed his brain activity. Normal humans would normally just cry, eat, and poop at this stage, yet he is already worked on sitting up on his own; if he keeps this up, you'll be able to take over guardianship quite early." Amy explains.
"Wow, already?" I glance down at myself. I wasn't in the position to properly care for myself, let alone a child. This made me worry. I took it upon myself to step forward for Angie's baby but that was before I was badly injured.
"What's with the face?" She questions me. I let out a sigh and then pushed my hair out of my face, "Well, I don't know if I am capable." I gesture to myself, "I can't exactly-"
"I'll help you." Tyler wipes the soapy water off his hands as he finishes drying off the dishes and putting them away. He turns to both of us.
"Are you sure?? Babies aren't the easiest thing in the world to take care of. I mean there's so much to do to literally raise a child." I said. Am I trying to scare him away from helping??
Tyler throws the drying cloth over his bare shoulder and just shrugs, "I know nothing about kids but I'm willing to try."
"If you're sure." I reply and he just nods before he excuses himself from the room. I watch as he leaves.
So graceful and handsome.
Amy nudges my shoulder, "So when's the wedding?"
"Hm, the wedding? The what-!" I turn back to her, I can feel the heat rush to my face as she gives me a very knowing smirk. "You have to back up like several steps!" I wave my hands in a panicked manner. She laughs, "Why? You're practically living together and have already agreed to raise a child together."
"That may be but it's all backwards!" I try to explain, stuttering my words at just the thought of a wedding that Amy planted in my head. She grins, laughing at my panic, "Calm down, I was just joking."
"Joking my ass!" I narrow my eyes at her as she continues to laugh, wiping the tears away from her eyes. She has to steady herself with the table as she tries to gather herself, "Woo! I haven't laughed like that in years." "I'm glad that my romantic life is hilarious to you." I cross my arms. She smiles, "Don't worry, you'll be alright. Anyway, I have to be on my way, remember to eat plenty of food and drink plenty of water."
"Aye aye Captain." I mock salute her. She chuckles as she gathers herself and then exits the house. All I can do now is imagine Tyler in a tuxedo waiting for me at the alter. I can feel the heat rush to my face again, "Ack! Good Lord, get your shit together Ethan." I smack my cheeks trying to distract myself.
"Why don't we go visit the little tike while we have time to spare?" He suggests as he walks back into the room. He makes his way over and hands me a crutch, "Here, this should help you." I take the crutch from him and sit it under my armpit, "It's a little high, gonna have to adjust it." He takes it back from me and begins to fiddle with it. I can't help but stare at him as he works. Watching him be so focused on something was kind of attractive.
"There, try that." He stands up and hands it back to me. I take it again and stuff it under my armpit, this time it's much more comfortable. "I think it'll work." I move it forward and then hop beside it with my good leg. "This is definitely going to take a lot of energy."
"I'll be with you so if you get tired, I can just carry you." He pats my shoulder, "Is there anything you would like before we check out the place?"
"I don't think so." We had eaten, showered, and changed into clean clothes. I was wearing a light blue shirt and some slacks. Tyler was wearing some sweats and he didn't have a shirt on, but he did have it resting on his shoulder. He glances around before he slips the shirt over his torso and I can't help but feel a little disappointed.
"So Asher first?"
"Sounds good to me."
We agree and then head out of our little house. It took a lot of focus not to accidentally lean too far to one side and tip over.
As we stepped out onto the grass, I got a clear look at everything for the first time. The tiny houses were all lined up like a little suburban village. They were all the same bland colors but did look kind of cute; if it wasn't for the intent behind this whole place. "Doesn't look too bad." I start down the way. I can hear the chatter of our group and it makes me feel a bit more relaxed. Tyler keeps pace with me, "Yeah, I'm glad they abandoned it. Just means we didn't have to build our place from the ground up." He has a good point.
"Hey Ethan! Glad to see you awake!" It's Hailey. She waves at me and I make my way over to her, "How are you doing?"
She grins, "I'm doing great!" She was dressed in a long but thin white t-shirt that had frills on the end, much like her father's clothes. She wore bell bottoms and a bunch of peace signs all over them. She catches me staring and giggles, "I found out about hippie clothes and I absolutely love it! Did you know they were all about peace and love??"
"Actually I did." I nod. They were also about sex with anyone and everyone.
...And drugs...
"I figured I would give their lifestyle a try, I like the idea of being all for peace." She continues as she turns to the little table next to her and grabs something before turning back to me, "Here, I made you one too." She holds it out to me. I look at it. It's a little necklace that has a peace sign on it. "Oh, that's cute." I lean forward to let her place it around my neck.
"Is that why Felix is wearing such frilly clothes??" Tyler asks as she pins a little peace sign to his shirt. She chuckles, "Oh no, Dad said that was originally his style. He really enjoys wearing the old clothes, kind of vampire ish. At least that's what he says. I have never seen Amy wear anything like it so I'm a little confused on what that means." The outfit he was wearing yesterday finally makes sense. "Ah, he's talking about how people used to describe vampires in books depending on what century they are from."
"There are books about vampires??" Hailey asks me, she gives me a clueless look.
"I doubt any of it is true to Amy. Vampires were originally made to be horror stories and then it gradually changed to being about romance. Some really bad romance." I cringe as I remember all the really bad vampire books and shows that got super popular.
"Do you think we could get books here??" She asks. All I can do is shrug.
"I hope so." Tyler adds, "Why don't you bring it up in the meeting?"
"I don't think I'm allowed at the meeting. Dad says it's not for me." Hailey answers.
"I'll try to bring it up for you." Tyler offers and Hailey smiles again, "Thanks! What are you guys up to today??"
"Showing Ethan around until it's time for the meeting." Tyler answers.
"Oh awesome! I think you'll like it Ethan!" Hailey turns back to me.
"I think so." I didn't really have anything negative to think about the place.
"Well we have a lot of ground to cover, catch you later." Tyler touches my shoulder lightly as he begins to lead me away. "Bye Hailey." I wave at her.
"Bye guys!" She waves and then goes back to her jewelry table.
"Hippies huh." I shake my head a bit. How did she learn about them unless someone told her. What all happened while I was out?
A bunch of children run around and then circle us as they play their games. They were quite rambunctious.
"Go go go!"
"You're it!"
"No I'm not! You didn't touch me!"
"Hurry!"
"I'm it!"
"Watch out!"
They run around in circles again before taking off as fast as their little legs could manage.
"Happy to be out of that basement." I observe.
"I think anyone would be happy to be out." Rose says as he pops up outta nowhere, "Amy told me that we were starting your pt in a couple days."
"Yeah," I look around to see most everyone just bustling around, minding their business, as if they had always lived here. Rose looks around with me before he stops in front of me, "Is it alright if I check out your leg?"
"Now?" I stop.
"I want to see what I'm working with so I can get exercises ready for you." He explains.
"Should I sit down?"
"No, no," He shakes his head, "Just a look."
Tyler moves over to support me while Rose pulls up my pant leg, assessing my bum leg. He let out a low whistle, "Damn, she fucked you up."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence." I roll my eyes.
"How'd you not lose it??" He looks up at me.
"I honestly couldn't tell you."
"I can understand why you were out cold for so long." He puts my pant leg back down and then stands up, "Well when pt starts, you're definitely going to hate me."
"That bad, huh?"
"Comes with the job." He shrugs his shoulders and then laughs, "Don't worry, I don't take any of it personally."
He seemed in high spirits. His clothes were brightly colored to match his mood. A fiery shirt and mismatched pants. Somehow he had two different pant legs.
"What do you think of my new outfit? I made it myself!" He grins.
"Looks like something I have never seen before." I reply.
"Did you see Felix?? I have never seen clothes that look like that! It has such a deep collar." Rose exclaims.
"We saw him yesterday. It's called a deep v neck." I explain.
"A deep v neck? Do you think I could wear something like that??" He asks.
"Uh? Well, there's no rules to wearing such clothes." I say.
"Awesome! Next time we go into town I think I will get some!" He grins.
"Sounds good." I smile before Tyler leans over and taps my shoulder, "Right right, we'll have to catch up later. We're on our way to visit Asher."
"Asher...Asher..." Rose taps his forehead as he tries to recall who that was.
"...Angie's-"
"Angie's baby!" Rose snaps his fingers, "Right! How is he?"
"Amy told me that he is excelling rapidly."
"That's good to hear! I'm glad he is doing so well." His smile fades a bit, "Are you going to tell him about his mother, his aunt, and his father?"
"At some point." I answer softly. I hope that I can raise the little one right. Angie was so proud of her child long before he got here and now he is left by himself. Poor Trixie couldn't handle the loss of her sister. Now he truly is the last. "Wait? His father??"
"Yeah, his father." Rose nods, "You know who his father is, don't you?"
"Angie never told me."
Rose makes a very uncomfortable face before he taps his lips, "How am I supposed to tell you this?"
"...tell me...?"
He clears his throat, "Uh, well, the thing is..." He tries to beat around the bush.
"Just tell me." I sigh.
"Andrew was his father. Angie told me a while back before our escape. She wanted advice on how to break it to you." He rushes out.
"Excuse me?" I feel my blood run cold.
"Andrew was his father." Rose repeats.
My gaze drifts to the ground. I murdered his father. How am I supposed to explain that? Maybe...
I murdered his father...
I murdered his father!
"Ethan, Ethan, hey!" Rose pats my face, "Easy, don't slip into a panic. We all know what happened. It'll just be a lot of explanation when he gets to a certain age. Don't regret it. Andrew hadn't been right in the head for years. You saved a lot of people by doing what you did."
I take a breath, "Just..." I didn't have any words for that kind of information. Is it weird now? Would it be seen as me taking care of the child out of guilt for the death of his father??
"Ethan, it's okay. You didn't know that when you killed him. And that can be explained to him once he reaches a proper age. Don't worry." Rose tries to comfort me. I just nod my head. I didn't trust my mouth to speak clearly the mess that suddenly appears in my head.
"Come, we have more to see." Tyler's voice calms me enough to take a few breaths. "Right, right."
"I'll catch you guys later! Take it easy on that leg!" Rose grins a bit more, returning to his spunky mood. Tyler takes the lead and we continue back on our way to visit Asher.

Tyler reaches up to knock on the door and I grab his other arm, "Wait wait."
"Hm?" He turns to look at me.
"...do I look okay??" I was grasping at straws to keep him from knocking. I was so nervous. He raises a brow, "You look fine."
"I think I'm just nervous. Angie was really excited about her baby." I mutter.
"We're just visiting right now. He is still too young for us to take guardianship of him." Tyler reminds me.
"Okay, sorry." I glance down.
"You don't have to apologize." He chuckles before looking back at the door and giving a firm knock. It was faint but you could hear the sudden shouting of children from inside the house.
"Company! There's company!"
"Coming, coming! Jason, get away from the door. Ashley put that down!" There's another voice before the door opens and there stands Mandi.
"Tyler, Ethan, what a surprise." She gives a tired smile.
"We thought we would visit Asher for a little bit." I explain.
"Of course! That little guy is growing so fast! Please, come in, come in." She waves us in as she moves out of the way of the door. "Excuse the mess."
Daycares are messy. Especially when you have little toddlers running around like they rule the world.
Tyler had to duck as he entered through the shorter entrance. We have to carefully navigate through the mine field of children's toys and clothes that were thrown about. Mandi turns down the hallway, "Asher is down here in the nursery. Molly is in charge of them."
"Molly?" I can't remember who that is.
"Wade's wife. I understand your confusion, you haven't met her yet." Mandi explains.
"Yeah, that's probably why I don't recall her name." I feel slightly bad.
Mandi stops outside a lavender painted door that had golden letters spelling out nursery.
"That's cute." Tyler hums softly.
She knocked on the door and the top of it opened separately from the bottom half of the door. Molly smiles, "Hi, welcome to the daycare." Her eyes were a beautiful green that offset her glorious red hair, "Amy told me that you guys might stop by to check on Asher."
"Yeah, I heard he was doing well."
She grins, "Absolutely! You'll have to take your shoes off and wash your hands with soap and water before you enter the nursery. We do our best to keep it very clean here for the little one's health."
"Oh yeah, we can totally do that." I nod my head. Tyler gives me a hand and we remove our shoes and then follow Mandi to the bathroom to quickly wash our hands. After that we are allowed in the nursery that is currently housing four infants. Molly leads us over to a crib that was sitting underneath the bedroom window, "This is Asher." He coos quietly. He looks much bigger than when I last saw him. He still had his pure golden hair and emerald eyes.
"Would you like to hold him?" Molly asks me. I look up from him to her, "Uh? Would that be okay?" "Of course." She smiles, "Why don't you take a seat in that rocking chair and I'll bring him to you." I turn and hobble over to the chair that she pointed out and take a seat. Tyler pulls up a little stool and sits nearby. Molly walks over with him in her arms, "Okay, hold out your arms, one hand slightly further forward than the other one, yes like that. And make sure to support his head." I do my best to follow her instructions as she carefully transfers Asher from her arms to mine.
I made sure to support his head as I was told. He stretches a bit and then lets out a tiny yawn. Awe, so cute.
He opens his eyes and stares at me.
I stare back.
I tilt my head slightly.
I can feel something deep down in my psyche change. The hair on the back of my neck bristles. Every nerve in my body burns with the exact same thought. Asher squirms a bit and then grabs a hold of Tyler's finger that had been hovering nearby. I can see his body language stiffen. He breaks their eye contact to look at me, silently conveying the exact thought I had: Protect at all costs.