kinda shaken

ngl

you know, you build up all this poison in your head and you kinda hope you're right at the end of it all so you didn't make yourself hateful for nothing

I don't know if we're righteous or naive

But I

Am at a loss?

Cuz when it comes down to it,,, it feels like we fucking drained every cubic millimeter of hatred we could out of this campaign and he still won

So I'm lost

And how am I supposed to tamper that down and live in this fucking country where--ugh

I feel

Sticky

And defeated

And I dislike hillary but this isn't real

This has gotta be a joke

When is he gonna tweet "you've been PRANKED"

And it's not only so depressing because of the inevitable negative legislation on the Trump-Pence ticket but bc i feel drenched in negativity

that in the end meant nothing

For all our criticism and jokes abt trump's behavior,, he won

So what's that say about us

As a nation

What could we have done to stop this disaster

And what can we do now to minimize collateral damage

I think the thing that hit home most with me was when I was watching Steven Colbert and he said something along the lines of "we drank too much of the poison. you take a little bit of it so you can hate the other side. and it tastes kinda good. and it feels nice. and there's a gentle high to the condemnation. and you know you're right, right?"

I think that sums up a lot of who i am as a person - a lot of who we are, as a community, as a nation. And it's sad that his hate made us hate. And it's sad that america is so fundamentally split. Even if we were right all along, there was no courtesy in it. No grace. And when I hear people say - "people like that don't deserve the right to vote" - it's that visceral fear that leads to a loss of understanding of our values, and our freedom. That fear led to the results of our election. In some ways, we were all active participants in the fate of this country.

It's very tiring to be angry. I hope that these four years are kind, although I know they won't be, and I hope that for all of Donald Trump's bigotry, the American people will shape past that.

I am afraid of what's to come, but I don't think hating bigots is completely synonymous to loving PoC, and LGBTQ people, and religious minorities. I think there's a bit of false equivalency, there.

So stay strong. Be safe. And I'll try to make the best out of a bad situation by stepping away and reminding myself that it's finally over.

i guess that's it

God bless America