it was not your fault but mine and it was your heart on the line
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dan

i let out a small sigh as i watched the teacher drone on about something i did not care for, i averted my eyes to the ground and let my vision search for the familiar shoes. i leaned slightly forward on my elbows as i had yet to find the pair of shoes i was looking for when i felt a tap on my shoulder.

i jumped slightly, turning my head to be met by the possessor of the familiar shoes.

"hey, can i borrow your notes?" his voice was hushed and desperate.

i smiled softly, nodding and handing him my notes.

he sighed in relief, his hand brushing mine as he gently took my book. i felt the rose garden grow on my cheeks.

i turned back to my desk, pressing my pencil against the table and letting my hand direct the art. i lost track of time.

i jumped slightly as the bell went, looking up as i pushed the heel of my hand against the desk in an effort to remove the small flowers i had drawn on the wood. my head snapped upwards as my book landed next to my hand, phils small smile sending shivers through my ribs.

"thanks." he smiled wider, his eyes catching in the light for a second. i felt the red growing on my cheeks as i slowly slipped out of my seat, holding my book to my chest as i stood and looked up at him; he was still at least a head taller than me.

i pressed my lips together, fiddling with the thick sleeves of my ocean blue sweater as i tried to think of something i could say that wouldn't drive him away from me.

"hey, are you busy after school?" his soft voice forced itself into my ears and popped the silence.

i felt my heart drop.

"n-no..wh-why?" i whispered, bringing my bottom lip between my teeth.

"i was just wondering if maybe you could..help me..with..all...this?" he asked, his small smile being joined by soft pink lilies on his cheeks as he looked down at me.

i nodded, looking down at the ground.

i heard his chuckle.

holy. it was one of the nicest things i had ever heard.

it was so crisp and clear, like the sound of stepping on dry leaves covered in a thin layer of ice as the days grew warmer.

"well..i'll meet you by your locker after school?" he smiled, bending down slightly to look at my downturned face, "yes?"

i couldn't help but giggle, my eyes following his face as i turned my chin upwards and nodded.

he smiled and squeezed my shoulder before walking out of the room.

i took a deep breath, holding my book tighter as i felt my stomach explode with a  rush of heat.
_________

i pushed my books into my locker, checking my phone as i waited for phil to meet me. i smiled slightly as i heard footsteps behind me, i turned to be met with dark grey.

i let out a shaky breath as i pressed my back against the lockers, watching the large boy smirk at my fear.

i felt a huge pressure on my chest, his large hands. i closed my eyes to try and focus on getting another breath in but instead felt a deep pain against my cheekbone and chin.

the ache fizzed through my bones until it just left a dull numbness and i felt the pressure on my chest released.

"fag." the deep voice breathed out, moving further away and into the distance.

i squeezed my eyes shut tighter, knocking my head back and sliding down the lockers to the ground. i wrapped my arms around my knees, taking deep breaths as i willed myself not to cry.

i felt a single tear roll down my cheek as the hallway hushed at the absence of people; everyone having rushed home.

"hey, you okay?" a soft voice whispered from beside me.

i slowly opened my eyes, turning my head to be met with ocean blue.

"phil.." i breathed out, my eyes widening slightly as i pushed myself forward and wrapped my arms around his neck.

i felt his warm arms wrap around my back, his breath buzzing through my soft curls as his nose rested there.

"what's wrong?" his voice was spilling concern over me.

i pulled away, realising what i was doing.

"n-nothing, i'm okay." i whispered, wiping my eye with the long sleeve of my oversized sweater.

his eyes studied me for a second longer, his hand wrapping around my small thigh and giving it a small squeeze, "i'm here if you ever need anything."

i nodded, feeling roses bloom beneath my skin as my eyes travelled up his arm and to his face, a small sad smile set there. he licked his lips, pulling his hand away and slowly standing.

he reached down to grab my hand.

i bit my lip as i hesitantly slipped my small hand in his large warm one and felt myself being lifted.

"thankyou." i whispered, adjusting my sleeves nervously.

"we still up for a study session?" i heard the smile in his voice and i felt my heart pump quicker at his effort to lift my spirits.

i smiled slightly, nodding and grabbing my bag and walked out with him.

wow this boy was so beautiful.
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if you read the book wonder you should watch the movie it's so nice and jack-will and auggie are such boyfriends