[Ham Seoyeon]

Good. I'm trapped. Since Duho has sent another letter inviting Kkotnim to Seolha's party as his partner and I've answered him, I'll have to carry on with my disguise until the party at least. How the fuck am I telling Seolha that I won't be there as myself, but as my alter ego? Will I be able to even access to it without Duho catching me beforehand?

This is why it's important for me to lay as low as possible unless I'm dressed up as Kkotnim. Duho acknowledges her, he's into her. His reaction to the real me was cold as usual. His blunt glare stung me harder than ever.

How can he love Kkotnim and, at the same time, hate me? I've gone too far. If I break the cycle, he'll be hurt. If I keep it up, I'll be stuck living a double life for a long time. Possibly even after Duho is done with university. Why couldn't I stick to my previous pathetic methods to conquer him?

***

In my room, I pick paper and pen and try letting out my feelings. However, I'm dissatisfied with the jumble mess I write every time, so I end up rolling five or six papers into a ball, ready to trash them all. I let out a loud groan. "Why does nothing go the way it's supposed to be?"

At last, after countless failed attempts, I can say I've written a letter that truly satisfies me. I decide to set feelings aside as it's better to voice them when I see Duho in person, shifting my focus on the upcoming party instead.

When I'm done writing, I read my letter with twice as much care as before. I need it to be perfect. It'll make Duho fall for me even harder especially when he notices I put a lot of effort in conveying my message thoroughly through words.

The letter is what I wanted it to be. Perhaps even a little better.

'Dear Duho,
I'm a little worried. I'm afraid I can't find an outfit that gives the "wow" effect to anyone staring at me. I'm sure you'd love anything I'd pick, but I really want to dazzle you.

I won't settle for anything ordinary. I'll amaze you. I know, what I'm writing right now is some disconnected shit that barely makes sense.

But you'll find some sense in it, right? I mean, you're so smart and witty... You're the guy every girl would dream of. This time, I really mean it. I'm not joking around.

Do you feel party jitters like I do? If so, let's hang out to cool each other down a little bit, shall we?

See you soon!

Best wishes,
Kkotnim.'

Perfect, isn't it? Now, I have to choose a nice envelope to match the letter paper. Since this time I've written my letter on a sky blue paper, then I can go for an envelope of the same color... Or should I pick a different one? Maybe baby pink? Pastel yellow? Light mint?

After pondering for three more minutes, I go for lilac. It's perfect. Plus, it's a color Duho really likes. Or this is what I assume because of the positive reactions he has every time "Kkotnim" wears an accessory of that color.

Good. Now that I've taken care of the letter, I can drag my friends to the mall for an intense shopping session. Party outfits won't pick themselves.

***

The mall is packed, more than usual. So many people gathering to take advantage of the sales and special offers awaiting them in the most "in" clothing shops. Of course, swimsuits sell out like candy at fairs.

It's safe to say finding anything is harder than we thought, to the point that Chaeyoung and Sangcheol consider resorting to second hand picks at the thrift shop. Yujin, however, doesn't want to give up. She has laid her eyes on a ruby red bikini adorned with a band of pearls.

"Look... This is perfect. I definitely picture myself in it." The way her eyes gleam as she expresses her desire to buy it makes me wonder how many chances she has to actually purchase it.

It turns out Yujin is lucky. That piece, which is exposed at the center of the shop, is the last one of that specific model. Moreover, it perfectly fits her. Good. She's set. It's time for the rest of us to find our swimsuits.

Sangcheol steps out towards the men's area, which leaves us girls on our own. This is the chance for Yujin to make a surprise revelation. "Guess who's in charge of music at Seolha's?" She points at herself. "Yeah, yeah, yours truly here!"

"Isn't there supposed to be a DJ set?" asks Chaeyoung with a puzzled look.

Yujin nods. "Yes, yes. Seolha asked me to take care of it. I won't be alone, anyway."

I give her a pleading look as I stand with my hands linked. "Please, tell us! I'm curious to find out who's gonna join you. It has to be someone really cool."

"Maybe someone who has already hosted a DJ set at parties." Chaeyoung's guess makes sense. I mean, it's good to have a quite well known DJ, especially if they're approachable, at this kind of events. It's an excellent way to leave a significant mark on social media.

Unfortunately, this take turns out to be wrong as Yujin reveals the name of her partner on the console between one giggle and another. "Taehyung." My reaction is a mixture of shock and amusement. Who would've thought that he, among all, would accept to spend time with Yujin?

On the other hand, Chaeyoung lets out a groan out of disappointment. "I thought there'd be some big name... What a bummer." Seolha might come from a filthy rich family, but, if there's something she's been widely praised for, is her wise management of money. She'll only go all in for an event that's worth more than mere bragging rights.

Which means this upcoming party is just one like others. Nothing special. At least under other invitees' point of view. I have good reasons to think that day's gonna be one to remember. I'll attend my first party with Duho as my "official" partner, even though I'll do so under a disguise.

The party will be the perfect chance for me to unveil myself and prove the success or the failure of the plan I've carried on these past few months. I can't believe time has run so quickly—to the point that I'm behind on the search of the perfect swimsuit.

Even though I'll show up as Kkotnim, I have to choose something I like and reflects my true self. After all, I'm still Seoyeon. A disguise, an alter ego... They can temporarily hide my identity, but they can't erase it. I won't have to live a double life if I can pull off my reveal as I mean to.

I'm so indecisive that I end up buying not one, but three different pieces. Both Yujin and Chaeyoung facepalm, with the latter commenting, "You'll never change!"

I playfully retort. "Is that necessarily a bad thing?" Since she shakes her head but laughs at the same time, it's a sign that my choice of buying more than one swimsuit can be good. At least I have a backup in case there are any incidents.

I look forward to that party more than before and less than tomorrow.