[Ham Seoyeon]

If an alter ego is what helped me earn Duho's attention, then this means I was really desperate for his validation. He likes Kkotnim, which is a good sign. But I want him to fall for Seoyeon, the real me, not some random disguise.

I need some good advice, especially because I've fucked up most of the times I came up with my own decisions strategy wise. I'm sure Yujin or even Chaeyoung knows how I should act in order not to break Duho's heart.

Speaking of Chaeyoung, we haven't talked much since our falling out, which is a shame. I've had my chances to earn my forgiveness but wasted them because I was too focused on my plan. If I lose her, I can't exclude I might lose Yujin and Sangcheol either.

This is why I decide to use these remaining minutes separating me from the afternoon classes to catch up with my friends in a proper manner. The first thing I do, of course, is apologizing to Chaeyoung for how bluntly I talked to her that time.

However, she dismisses my apology for a surprising reason. "Actually, it's me who should say sorry. I was in a bad mood and projected my frustration on you. I should've counted until ten before reacting the way I did."

I insist. "I should've listened to you, though. I might still disagree, but this doesn't excuse me for what I did in turn."

Yujin intervenes to put an end to this shower of apologies. "So, peace?"

Chaeyoung and I shake hands and reply in unison, "Peace."

The focus of the conversation turns to the plan, as if nothing bad among us happened. In fact, Yujin asks, "What's next? Sangcheol told me Duho caught the two of you together. Was he jealous?" She barely retains a chuckle as she comes up with the latest question.

I reply with a mischievous smirk, "Well, kind of. This is further proof that he's into me. He would've ignored me entirely if he didn't care." The others, unlike the past, easily catch my point. This means that my strategy is effective.

I continue. "It's time for me to make a decision, anyway. Should I continue posing as Kkotnim for a while, or should I just come clean? He's bound to learn the truth anyway." None of my friends react to my latest sentences. I wonder what distracts them.

"Is everything okay?"

Chaeyoung shows me her phone; more specifically, Instagram. "Look here! There's a new party incoming! Seolha is going all in this time! We're all going, right?"

Oh. Another party. Seolha must be capitalizing on the success (well, under her point of view) of the previous one. This could also be a good chance for me to redeem myself from my poor figure from the last time... Too bad I can't duplicate myself. Either I show up as myself or as Kkotnim.

"Oh, yes... I've just to figure out-"

"Fine! That's great! We've gotta pick better outfits than last time." Yujin's enthusiasm matches her energy, but clashes with my growing confusion. How long will it take before she, Chaeyoung and Sangcheol realize I've got to sort out the stuff involving Kkotnim before thinking of partying?

***

On my own, and without my disguise on, I read Duho's reply to the first letter I wrote under my alter ego's name. I have to make things clear or there's a chance I might lose him, especially because he nearly caught me and Sangcheol revising the plan. Fortunately, he didn't understand much.

I must be more careful from now on. This is why I dress up again as Kkotnim. I initially planned to write another letter for Duho; however, I think it's more important to clarify my physical proximity to Sangcheol. I owe it not only to Duho, but also to myself.

I bring his letter with me and wait for him at his usual library. To use up time, I pick a random book from the narrative section and start reading it. I'm so absorbed in the story that it takes me five minutes to notice he's here. Meanwhile, I've accidentally let the letter slip on the floor.

He picks it up. "Careful, someone could step on it or, worse, trash it." His warning sounds delicate, almost fragile, as if he tries not to break a vulnerable balance. Duho then sits next to me. His eyes are locked into mine. He gently places the piece of paper in the book I'm reading as a way for me to turn my attention on him.

His voice is a whisper. "I don't know if this is the right place to talk, but there's a thing we should discuss."

I suggest. "If you want, we can go somewhere else."

Nonetheless, he chooses to stay here. There's no point in moving to another place to talk where there's a chance this is the only secluded area where we can have our conversation, albeit hushed, in peace.

He sighs. "So, I saw you very close to Sangcheol. You two were joking around, giggling, and were almost glued on each other. Did you know him beforehand?"

So, my suspicion is confirmed. He almost caught us. Fortunately, I know how to get out of this hole I fell into. "Yes, I did. We attended middle and high school together."

"Oh, if only I knew... I have to admit I was jealous."

I reassure him. "Why should you be jealous? We were just reminiscing our past school years, nothing else." I scratch my head. "Well, he did tell me something about you."

"It's interesting to know," I point out. "I barely hang out with him or his close circle."

"That's understandable. We're all different, right?" I notice Duho's taking a quick peek at his watch. So, I ask him, "Do you have to go?"

"Oh, yes. I have an appointment in thirty minutes. Sorry." He excuses himself and leaves the library in a hush, leaving me to immerse again in the magic world of the lost island. Seriously, this book is amazing! I have to recommend it to the others.

***

Now that things between me and Duho—technically, between him and Kkotnim—look much better, I can finally reply to his letter. This time, writing comes easier to me because I've got the gist of it. I'm already done in fifteen minutes.

'Dear Duho,
I'm pleased to see you've answered my first letter. I'm also happy to know this misunderstanding has been cleared. However, I'll make it clear again because I feel like it: Sangcheol and I are just friends. Nothing else.

By the way, I'd like to hang out again. This time for something a little more structured... Something not strictly related to campus activities. We could grab some drinks together. Have you got any preference? This is indeed a way to get to know each other better.

One last thing: if there's anything bothering you, please tell me. Don't keep it all for yourself, or you'll end up exploding like a pressure cooker before you can feel better. I don't want you to suffer.

Yeah, we may only have known each other for a few days, but you're already special to me. I really care about you in that specific sense. So, please, don't make me worry. Know you can count on me for everything. That said, I really hope we can see each other again under better circumstances.

Thank you so much for reading this letter.

Yours truly,
Kkotnim.'

I place the finished letter in a pink envelope; then, still disguised, go and leave it in Duho's locker. Since he's away for some appointment he hasn't elaborated on, it'll take some time before he reads my message. Hopefully not too late.