Hongjoong wasn't the same after the incident with San Choi, his spirit seemed severely damaged and his attitude had done a whole 180. He had recurring nightmares night after night, playing out every moment in his dreams over and over again. He couldn't escape it no matter what he did.

After what happened, Seonghwa couldn't leave Hongjoong on his own anymore, he was afraid something would happen to him when he wasn't there because of how self-destructive he had become. So upon convincing the red-haired male to move in, Hongjoong had begun living with Seonghwa by the week was up. Seonghwa had most of his things brought to the estate, even his cat Bokki.

One morning, Seonghwa had woken up earlier than usual, around the time that the sun would be starting to peek its head over the horizon. Hongjoong stayed in the spare bedroom that was just on the other side of Seonghwa's, so he decided he would check on him just to calm his worried conscience.

Seonghwa threw on a black silk robe, tying the string around his waist loosely. He then made out of his room quietly, going over to Hongjoong's bedroom. When he opened the door, he expected to see the smaller male curled up and asleep in bed, but that wasn't the case. Hongjoong wasn't even in the room but his cat was curled up in the bed, and this made panic begin to surge through Seonghwa's body.

Where the hell is he? He thought to himself, leaving the room as he rushed down the hall.

Seonghwa came out to the living area, glancing out of the large windows that gave a panoramic view of the pool outside. When he saw Hongjoong sitting at the edge of the pool, relief waved over him. Seonghwa made his way outside quickly, approaching the smaller male.

"Yah... Why are you out here? I went to check on you, and I was scared when I didn't see you there." Seonghwa said as he knelt beside Hongjoong, looking over at him.

Hongjoong's head was held lowly as he stared blankly at the water. "I... I couldn't sleep. I needed some fresh air." The smaller male softly, not bothering to look at Seonghwa.

"How... How are you feeling?" Seonghwa questioned as he then sat down. "Can you look at me please?"

Hongjoong clenched his jaw softly, turning his head as he looked over at Seonghwa. His dark-colored eyes were so empty of life, remainders of bruises displayed on his face. He didn't say anything to Seonghwa, he just stared at him as if his mind were somewhere else but there.

"There's my sweet boy..."Seonghwa said sweetly. "Your bruises seem to be going away."

Seonghwa reached a hand out to touch Hongjoong's cheek, but before his hand even touched, Hongjoong seemed to flinch and move away slightly. Seonghwa hated seeing him like this. He just closed his hand and pulled away from him.

"I'm sorry." Seonghwa apologized, nodding his head subtly. "I forgot you don't want me touching you."

Hongjoong blinked a few times as he looked towards the ground with a sad expression. Suddenly, the smaller male scooted closer to Seonghwa, snaking his arms around his torso as he leaned into his chest.

"Just hold me..." Hongjoong said with a small whine.

Seonghwa gave a pitiful smile, cautiously wrapping his arms around Hongjoong. He held onto him securely, he wanted him to feel safe, but he knew Hongjoong wouldn't feel safe for a long time. They held each other as the color of the sky began to change to a soft blend of yellow and blue, the sun rising higher in the sky.

"Seonghwa..." Hongjoong began, letting out a quiet sigh. "I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. Every time I wake up, I'm filled with dread because I'm still here."

Seonghwa's chest tightened as he listened to was Hongjoong was saying. He then grabbed both sides of Hongjoong's face softly, making the smaller male look up at him as he frowned deeply.

"Don't say that... Please, don't say things like that." Seonghwa shook his head, pressing his forehead gently against Hongjoong's. "You don't understand how lost I would be without you. I'll get you all the help you need to come back to the person you were before. I promise."

"You don't get it, do you?" Hongjoong said coldly as he pulled his face away to look Seonghwa in the eyes. "The person we both knew is gone. The person we both knew isn't ever coming back."

"You don't know that, Joong... I have a close friend who's a psychiatrist trained specifically for people who've experienced things like this before." Seonghwa reassured, grabbing Hongjoong's hand softly.

"I don't need a shrink to try and fix me. What I need is for you to leave well enough alone." Hongjoong's demeanor suddenly changed as he stared coldly at Seonghwa. "If you keep trying to push me, I can't predict what I'm going to do. Stop trying to fix something you've already indirectly broken."

Seonghwa sat in silence, blinking his eyes in shock at what Hongjoong just said to him. Hongjoong then ripped his hand away, standing up from the side of the pool and headed inside.

"Joong! Wait!" Seonghwa called after him as he stood up.

The blonde-haired male just stood there, completely taken back by the whole situation. When he witnessed this behavior from his lover, it was almost like looking in a mirror, and that terrified him. If he didn't try to do something about this soon, he didn't know what Hongjoong was going to do next. He could either be a danger to himself or everyone around him, perhaps both at the same time.

__________________

A couple of days later...

__________________

Hongjoong hadn't spoken a word to Seonghwa after the conversation they had just two days before, he did everything in his power to avoid the blonde-haired male.

In the afternoon, Seonghwa was working in silence in his room when the cellphone upon his desk began to ring. He reached for the phone, reading the name on his phone as one of the new contacts he used to get vital information about certain people.

"Hello?" Seonghwa said as he answered, then listened to what the person on the other end was telling him.

"628 North Callaway Street... Penthouse 4? ... Oh, okay." He muttered as he then wrote the address upon a piece of paper. "Alright, thank you."

Seonghwa then hung up the phone, going back to the documents he had pulled up on his computer. What he didn't know was that Hongjoong was lingering outside Seonghwa's bedroom door, listening in.

"Looks like I know where I'm headed for the day," Hongjoong muttered to himself, then made his way down the hallway.

That morning, Hongjoong had stolen a pair of car keys from Seonghwa's desk while he was still sleeping, even the small handgun he had locked away in the bottom drawer. It was locked with a passcode, but he'd seen Seonghwa punch in the numbers numerous times before. He had it memorized by heart. He had it tucked in the back of his waistband.

Seonghwa didn't want him working on any cases due to his mental state, but Hongjoong was tired of being treated like he was a troubled child. If Seonghwa wasn't going to give him any leads, he was going to take leads for himself whether or not Seonghwa wanted him to.

Undetected, Hongjoong had slipped into the garage on the far end of the home, hitting the garage door button to raise one of the doors. He inspected the car keys to see which of the 5 cars they keys belonged to. The keys had a Mercedes emblem on it, and there was only one car in there that was that kind of model. Hongjoong jogged over to the car quickly, opening the driver's door and slipping into the driver's seat. He stuck the keys into the ignition, turning on the car before he put the car into gear and pulled out of the garage quickly.

__________________

About an hour later, a large man in a suit entered Seonghwa's bedroom, clearing his throat when he approached the desk.

"Uh... Sir? There's a problem." The man began.

Seonghwa looked up from his computer, raising a brow as he squinted his eyes. "And what kind of problem is that?"

"Well..." The man hesitated. "We don't know how this happened... But your Mercedes is missing, and Hongjoong is nowhere to be found."

Seonghwa widened his eyes, swallowing hard. "What do you mean he's nowhere to be found? Who the hell was working security? How long has he been gone?"

"Uh... About an hour, sir..."

"AND YOU WAITED TO TELL ME THIS FOR AN HOUR?!" Seonghwa suddenly shouted as he shot up from his chair.

"We've been looking for him for a while, we only just noticed the car was missing as well."The man said calmly. "We checked the GPS location on the car, and he seems to be somewhere along Callaway, sir."

Seonghwa felt his heart drop as he was quick to realize that Hongjoong must've been eavesdropping when he took the call earlier.

"He's going to get himself killed..." Seonghwa muttered, frantically grabbing a set of car keys from his top desk drawer.

He then opened the bottom drawer, noticing his handgun was missing out of the case.

"And he's fucking armed..." Seonghwa shook his head, immediately darting out of the room to the garage.

Seonghwa jumped into one of the cars, wasting no time as he peeled out of the garage, leaving black tire marks behind on the concrete. He recklessly weaved in and out of traffic, trying to get to the address as quickly as he could before Hongjoong harmed someone or himself.

In about thirty minutes, Seonghwa screeched to a halt in front of a 50 story penthouse building that was mostly filled with wealthy residencies. He got out of his car, bolting right through the lobby entrance. There was a security guard that was sitting at a desk beside the elevator that took you to each penthouse on every floor. The security guard was hunched over, face down, visibly knocked unconscious.

"Hongjoong..." Seonghwa whispered to himself, then made his way quickly to the elevator.

He pressed the button rapidly before the doors slowly opened, and he ducked inside. Seonghwa hit the number 4 button to take him to penthouse 4 where he knew he was bound to find Hongjoong. The doors of the elevator shut slowly, then began to rise floor by floor. The penthouse was only on the fourth floor, but it seemed like it took an eternity to get there.

Once the elevator came to a stop, the doors began to open, and Seonghwa squeezed through before the doors even opened all the way. Seonghwa looked around frantically, trying to see if Hongjoong was there. That was when he heard a man cry out in pain from the bedroom across the room from the elevator. Seonghwa immediately darted towards the bedroom. He tried to get into the room but the door was locked.

"Joong! If you're in there, please, stop!" Seonghwa yelled as he tried to force the door open.

Finally, Seonghwa took a step back, kicking the door hard as it burst open. He walked in, seeing Hongjoong with his back facing the door and standing over a stockier man knelt on his knees, Seonghwa's gun was in his hand and pressed right between the man's eyes.

"Joong... Think about what you're doing here, alright?" Seonghwa said cautiously, taking a few slow steps toward Hongjoong. "Look at me, Joong..."

Hongjoong slowly turned his head as he looked to Seonghwa over his shoulder, a twisted look in his eyes as he smiled in an unsettling manner. "Think about what I'm doing? I mean... I have a gun in my hand, my finger on the trigger, counting down the seconds this man has to live." Hongjoong said nonchalantly, his thumb cocking back the hammer on the gun.

"Joong... Please, this isn't you, alright?" Seonghwa tried to reason with him, putting his hands up as he continued to walk towards him slowly. "Put the gun down before you make a bigger mess."

"That's exactly what I'm here for, to make a bigger mess." Hongjoong let out a laugh, finally turning around as he now trained the gun on Seonghwa. "And if you get in the way... I'll gladly clear up that problem right away."

Seonghwa paused for a moment in his approach. The man on the floor was able to slip away quietly now that Hongjoong's attention was focused elsewhere. Seonghwa then continued to approach, not stopping until the barrel of his own gun pressed against his chest. He looked into the eyes of the smaller male without an ounce of fear on his face.

"Making a bigger mess won't change anything, it won't benefit you in any way. You'll gain nothing from doing this." Seonghwa said calmly, shaking his head.

"Yeah? Who said? You treat me like a fucking child, locked in that house like I'm a danger to the world." Hongjoong spat as he glared up at Seonghwa. "I'm more than capable of handling my own, I don't need you acting like I'm fragile." The red-haired male spat, pressing his finger onto the trigger gently.

Seonghwa noticed that Hongjoong now had his finger set on the trigger. "If you're going to shoot me, you better hope that it's a kill shot." He said as he grabbed the barrel of the gun, raising it to his forehead as he stared Hongjoong down.

"Just know, before you decide to pull that trigger, I regret everything I've ever done to you. I regret pulling you into this toxic world that I surround myself with day to day. I regret making you love me the most..." Seonghwa's expression softened as he tried to swallow the growing lump in his throat. "When I first met you, you seemed like a bright light amid the darkness that consumed my life. I can't tell you how grateful I am for you, and I don't even know where to begin about the love I have for you. I love you, Hongjoong... I wonder how I've allowed myself to completely destroy the one and only person that I truly love, and I'm so... SO sorry."

Seonghwa's bottom lip began to quiver as a single tear fell down his cheek. Hongjoong seemed to freeze for a moment after hearing all that Seonghwa had to say. The smaller male suddenly blinked a few times, shaking his head as he seemed to snap out of whatever episode he was experiencing.

Hongjoong then dropped the gun, taking his hand away as he started to breathe heavily.

"What am I doing? What have I done?" Hongjoong muttered to himself, running both hands through his hair as he grabbed two tight handfuls of his hair.

Seonghwa immediately grabbed the gun off of the floor, shoving the handgun into his waistband. He then got closer to the smaller male, pulling him into a tight embrace.

"Come back to me, Joong... Come back to me, alright? I'm here, no one is going to hurt you." Seonghwa said soothingly as he held Hongjoong close in his arms, feeling the red-haired male begin to calm down.

Before Hongjoong could say anything, a loud BANG rang through the air, making him jump from the sound.

"What the-" Hongjoong fell silent as he noticed Seonghwa's face was riddled with pain.

Blood began to seep through the fabric of Seonghwa's shirt on the right side of his chest, the taller male loosening his grip on Hongjoong as he suddenly collapsed to the ground. Hongjoong widened his eyes, completely mortified as he watched Seonghwa hit the ground. The red-haired male looked up to see the man from earlier holding a still-smoking gun. Without hesitation, Hongjoong snatched the gun from Seonghwa's waistband. He screamed at the top of his lungs as he was quick to aim the gun, unloading the whole clip of the gun as he riddled the man with bullets.

Hongjoong began to sob as he watched the man fall to the ground, lifeless, and he dropped the gun at his side. He then knelt to Seonghwa, pulling the unconscious male into his arms.

"Seonghwa!" Hongjoong cried out, tapping Seonghwa's gently as he tried to wake him. "Please don't leave me! Seonghwa, please! You can't leave! Wake up! Please!"

Hongjoong could barely see through his tears as he then felt Seonghwa's pockets, trying to see if he had his phone on him. Thankfully, his phone was in his right front pocket, and he was quick to pull it out as he dialed emergency services.

Hongjoong told the operator everything that had happened and told them to bring an ambulance as soon as they could.

"Seonghwa... Please don't leave me. I love you... Please." Hongjoong pleaded as he rocked the taller male in his arms gently, applying pressure to the wound on Seonghwa's chest to lessen the bleeding.

Seonghwa was bleeding out very quickly, blood seeping through the cracks of Hongjoong's fingers. Hongjoong sobbed hysterically as he continued to plead, he felt so hopeless as his lover laid bleeding out in his arms.

Soon, paramedics and a couple of police officers had come rushing through the door of the penthouse, making their way to the bedroom. One of the paramedics checked the pulse on the man that was riddled with bullets, but he was already gone. Once a group of paramedics came into the room, one of the police officers pulled Hongjoong away from Seonghwa.

"No! Please! He needs me! He needs me!" Hongjoong screamed through his tears, resisting against the man that held him back. "Let me go!"

The paramedics were quick to lift Seonghwa onto the gurney, putting an oxygen mask to his face before they started to rush him out of the penthouse.

"Seonghwa! Please let me go! I need to be with him! PLEASE!" Hongjoong cried out hopelessly, eventually giving up on fighting once the paramedics disappeared with Seonghwa.

The police officer then placed the smaller male into handcuffs, leading him by his arm to take him into custody. Since he was the only one that could give a statement at that moment, they needed to take him downtown for questioning.

Once they got to the ground floor of the building, the police officer dragged him to the police cruiser, placing him in the back of the cruiser. Hongjoong caught sight of the ambulance peeling off down the road towards the hospital.

"Seonghwaaa..." He sobbed as he pressed his forehead against the glass, watching the ambulance fade down the road.

Hongjoong desperately wanted to be with him, he feared that was the last time he would ever see his lover, covered in his blood. The world as he knew it was crumbling down at his feet, and it was all his fault.

(A/N: wow this was the most chaotic, emotional chapter I've written for this story. I'm so hurt ahhhhhhhh)

****THE STORY WILL CONTINUE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. THANK YOU FOR READING****