I'm insecure.

Sure, that isn't a big surprise.

You've met me, and talked to me, right?

But though I'm rather anxious and unsure, I have always been aware of my feelings.

In fact, overly aware.

Overwhelmed with emotions, I swear.

It's certainly not fair.

Having so many thoughts and opinions on things, it ruins my chance at breathing.

Forcibly thorough thought I create myself a being distraught, torn by the mentality I didn't stitch.

Having this imagination and process of thinking it can be hard to understand the reasons I'm blinking.

It causes my mind to become overwrought.

And for a second all my feelings experience a drought.

I told you how afraid I was, how terrified and inexperienced I was in love.

You told me you loved me.

I simply shuddered.

You're eyes looked up to me, I inhaled deeply, I gazed into them, I slowly fell under.

Within your eyes I swam.

Feeling the warmth and sunshine that filled them.

My eyes were grey and broken, the tears filled them like a lake.

Staring at you deeply I began to shake.

You cupped my face in your hands.

I became red.

My head was spiraling in unknown lands.

"Baby, do you still believe that I don't love you?"

I sighed in confusion and mental commotion.

"Mon Amour, My head is all over the place, by what others called "love" I've been corrupted, abandoned-"

I bit my lip and turned my head, I leaned my weight against your shoulder like you were a bed.

"Baby, explain to me your feelings."

"My Love, they are unbearable, I know the way my emotions lean when it comes to you, as my feelings fall completely, I get a feeling in my stomach like spinning in circles. Everything about you leaves me helpless."

They looked at me lovingly yet misunderstood.

"Okay Baby, but how do you feel about me loving you?"

A sharp breath flew in through my slightly parted lips, and they realised I still wasn't sure about this.

"I have the strongest of feelings for you, undoubtedly sure, but when it comes to how you feel towards me I don't understand what could have possibly occurred.
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I think about the way I look my personality too, and I wonder what ever could I possibly do, just to compare to you.
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I wonder how hard it must be to handle me and everything that comes with, and I stumble over my words just trying to explain the width.
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I'm too mean and I complain. Still, you say you love me. But I've been beaten, and battered, and bruised, yet you claim I've never done wrong by you.
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Love, you always leave me confused."

Truthfully, it wasn't you who had caused my confusion.

It was all my mindless illusion.

A chase started by past "lovers" who'd hurt me.

And a chase turned to paint somehow poured on you.

I'm sorry.

My lovely tales are falling, your truths  I took as lesser lies were truly never appalling.

I was just an afraid little girl who didn't understand what love meant.

But now I get where and why everything all went.

Ariah Christman