People often look at me.

Wow.

Look how jovial and happy.

So joyous and unafraid.

How very undamaged is she.

I smile and I laugh.

Shake off all my feelings.

Try to break off,

From people,

Whenever i get the chance to cry.

I try to escape

But am often caught

Somewhere between the lines

By teachers

By friends

By lovers

I can never catch a break

It's getting hard to breathe

I start  heaving the tears are falling down

I run away

And try to stay

Apart from the ones which i love

For if they saw id spoil it all

I wouldnt wish for them to feel so gloom.

Im standing atop the highest peer

I fear ive disappointed them.

Im shaking and im sobbing.

I don't know she's right behind me.

The water looks like the softest pillow.

Even with its billowing waves.

The waves crash over the rocks.

I just make them sad

I just make them mad.

I annoy them all so greatly.

I worry that they hate me.

I set myself down near the edge.

Edging ever so close to the fall.

The wind is crisp and the  goosebumps resurface.

I feel my body floating to the surface.

I am drowning in my emotions.

I want to end it all.

She has tears in her eyes

I dont know what to do

Everything is collapsing

Ive slipped down a chimney flu.

Everything os blurry

Everything is spinning

Am i really about to do this?

"Ariah, please don't, please, don't do this."

I choked on my words i didn't know how to say

"Im sorry"

My voice cracked.

Im so afraid

My body shakes ever so violently.

I can hear myself screaming.

I got so close.

She held my arm.

"Please."

For hours the idea wavered in my head.

Im better off dead.

Im better off dead....

I snapped back to reality and the waves scared me terribly.

I threw myself back from the edge and into her arms.

She held me as i cried.

If she hadn't of been there.

It wouldnt have taken so long.

I wouldnt have pondered my emotions.

I would've juat jumped.

I would not have rocked back and forth for hours waiting to die.

It would've been quick.

But she saved me.

And to her

I owe my life.

Ariah Christman