you pray every night,

each and every night. 

you are afraid, because no one can see you, no one can hear you. 

you are weak, you are not stone you aren't concentrated enough. 

you are barely even bone. 

dead and scared. 

I've buried my fears under groans. 

You are a light, 

ever so bright

ever so beautiful 

a flame from a candle

no matter how small 

I see the gleaming 

even from afar

though I've been made aware these feelings are wrong I still have them

though I've been told my actions are sins, I've still adorned them

I love you. 

even when I ignore you. 

even when I hurt you and act ever so cruel 

I care. 

but I suppose I was never taught the right way to behave

so I won't 

lest you stray your eyes from who you've fallen for i'm terrified I'll never make it through the door

I won't make it if I don't take it

if I won't try my thoughts into play

I Can't make this up aren't I fake enough? 

Can not you see the way you make me smile? 

Won't you see the flesh? 

am I not the depiction of a human cyclone? 

I'm dizzy and I'm dizzy

I can't read

spinning in circles

round and round

pretty fire

stupid desires

I don't need you. 

that doesn't stop the want

It never stops my emotions

it never stops the burning 

the loves never flees. 

it never stops cremating my remains

even though I am ashes

my heart still beats for the affection I Cannot grasp. 

I am undeserving. 

I am worthless. 

                                                                                       Ariah Christman