"I hate you."

The mirror shatters
But I stare at the pieces
Angry at the person behind the glass.

"No one wants you."

I choke on my words
My hand is around my own throat
The bruises on my knuckles
Formed by me alone, I am the culprit.

"You're ugly."

I forced the words down my windpipe
I had to swallow the shards.
Look how worthless
How broken, how torn.

My insides fall out and there's nothing left that I can do.
My words splatter on the pavement.
Never received.
Always pushed off ,
Disregarded.

Cut me open.
Disect my heart.
Watch the ways in which it gives life.
Pumps blood to my body.
Gives love, like my soul.
Bleeding out, always empty.
Never full.

I will never be enough.
I don't like her.
I point and I scream at the girl.
She has blue hair and distant eyes.
It never catches her by surprise.
She knows it's her i despise.

I want to change.
Reareange all my organs..
Look different.
Have a new sort of range in my clothing.
Maybe i am lonely.

I tell myself i dont need friends.
But i cry everytime I try to get rid of them.

I want to give them a reason to hate me, but still, they hold on.
I told my brain I'm not worthy, itseems ive lost all of my courtesy.
I want to  die again.

I may be high,
But I know why my thoughts are like this.
You can not fix me.
Im too fucked up.
I'll never be enough.
Always coming up short.

Too quiet.
Too loud.
Constantly calling out my bluff.

I will burn my skin and pretend nothing happened.
By tommorow you will forget all about me.
And once you have, I'll be dead.

No reason to be shaken up.
It's not your fault.
I wont let anyone be aware.
I'll go mkssing in the woods.
And just never come back.
No one will be sure if I'm alive or not.

But secretly, we will know the answer.

                  Ariah Christman