but what does it mean?
does it mean the same thing to me
that it does to him?

does it hurt?
i want the meaning to be something
different
but at the back of my mind,
i know it couldn't

but does it?
does it mean anything to him?
or is it just a joke
is this the reality i want to live?
because maybe it isn't...
or wasn't supposed to be

but does it?
after this,
i'm not the person i thought i was
do i even know who i want to be?
or should i just go back
to the way things used to be?
forget how much i changed

maybe it'll take away the pain.

—
Life is sad and boys are so fucking complicated.