"I can't believe this!" Bill Bluebonnet cried.

I always wondered what sin you had to commit to have the curse of a last name "Bluebonnet". Did his parents think he was girl when he was born? I groaned, "Could you kindly do me a favor?" I added, "Shut the hell up, I'm trying to sleep."

"Colm's coming to get us right?"

"What did I just say?"

"Right?"

"Let's just assume he ain't."

"We're gonna swing," Bluebonnet's voice quivered, "ain't we Killiver?"

"Pfft, I'm not going to hang-"

Then an idea came to me.

"You got a look in your eye Killiver."

"Shh."

I hopped up on the cot and grabbed the bars over me. Holding myself up I could see a hook of some kind and plopped down. Looking up at the ceiling I yelled,

"Hey! You! Lawman! I need to piss!"

"Use the mess bucket then!" The lawman yelled back.

"I broke it while pinching a loaf in it!"

The boards above us creaked until the deputy came down into the jail with us.

"You didn't break it you lying clown."

I pressed myself against the bars.

"Give me a rope so I can hang myself."

"Now you know I can't do that."

"It'll be a lot quieter," I suggested, "maybe the Sheriff or bounty hunter left some within reach. I just," I shook my head, feigning sadness, "I just wanna die on my terms Cap."

The lawman blinked it was one of the younger more hot headed deputies that most likely wouldn't care if I was killing Bluebonnet as long as it was quiet. He sighed and left without a word. Bluebonnet groaned from his cot,

"What a waste."

I waited watching. "Don't give up." I shouted, "Lawman?"

Annoyed he came down and tossed me a rope before he disappeared back up into the deputy's quarters.

"Thank you!" Then I muttered to myself, "Dumb mountain goat."

A/N: I just HAD to lol
***

God...
Why...
Do...
You...
Have...
No mercy?

"Killiver, you have been trying to rope something out there for three stinkin' days."

"Shut it Bluebonnet."

"Hey I told you not to call me that!"

I pulled the rope taut in my hands as a threat for if he didn't shut up. "I will hang you!"

Then I heard a voice on the faint breeze coming through the barred window.

"I'm gonna kill you all!"

For a moment there was silence and then the voice grew closer. "Me and my boys are gonna burn this stinkin' town to the ground!"

"Bluebonnet," I warned, "don't talk to this fool."

"Pfft, why? No one messes with O'Driscolls!"

"Um," I deadpanned, "lawmen do."

Lawmen do, I thought, and if Colm ain't gonna get us outta here. I hid the rope in my pillow and reclined back like the bored prisoner I was. Our new friend was a raving animal. They threw him in the cell with us and he glanced at me spitting,

"Move."

I sat up and he hopped on my cot and continued screeching at anyone and everything through the cell window. Once he nearly screamed his throat out he began to mumble, "Dutch better get me outta here or I swear-"

My eyes widened and my dumb mouth thought aloud, "Dutch? Dutch Van Dir Linde?"

The way he looked at me after he turned around not only gave me an answer.

It chilled me to the bone.

In a flash he was choking me against the cell bars next to the door. I coughed and spit came out, my breathing cut off I croaked, "That a yes?"

"How do you know him?! I swear you-"

Before Bluebonnet protested I coughed, "I was a lawman!"

The stringy haired blonde sneered at me, venom on the tip of his tongue like a snake, "And what the hell is a lawman doing in here with degenerated crap like us, hmm?"

"You-" I chocked out, "you don't send saints to catch sinners. Once I brought this fool-" gesturing to Bluebonnet, "in they decided to lock us both up, keep both our bounties."

"Those cockroaches!"

He let go of me and Bluebonnet, oh the stupid man, said, "Who are you calling the fool? I'm a O'Drisscoll through and through! And you're a lousy-"

I strode over to him and put him to sleep with my fist. I even dislocated a finger and proceeded to reset it. Huffing from being half-strangled I looked over at Micah and he said,

"Bet he's been giving you hell for bringing him in."

I reset my finger with a pop. "He farted a lot in his sleep as well."

"How much they wrong you for?"

"Forty-Five dollars." I lied.

The man glanced side to side discreetly like some devilish plotter and said, "Name's Micah."

"Wilson McGilliver, my business friends, enemies and targets call me Killiver."

"Killiver," he smiled, "I like that."

He liked that to much I noted.

"Well, ex-lawman, since you're a sinner like me do you have any qualms with helping shoot my way out of this hell of a town?"

"I assume not," I cast a glance at Bluebonnet, "what about the O'Drisscoll?"

Micah shook his head, "Not leavin' alive. Oh no."

I noticed his black eye and I tried to tease him, I gestured by pointing at my eye, "Workin' girl give you that?"

He didn't laugh.

"Ha-ha, so funny. You and a friend of mine might get along." He blew a strand of stringy hair from his eyes.

"You good with a rope? I got a rope in my pillow."

"Why?"

"I've been trying to rope something out there-"

"How about we string the O'Drisscoll up? I don't want to listen to his yappin'."

I'm condemning my dumb comrade to death, my mind struck me. I gulped and said, "Go ahead, don't kill him-" he glanced at me and I finished, "yet. I don't want to get sick because we're locked here with a dead body."

"Smart," he nodded getting the rope, "how much did the lawmen up top rip you off for again?"

His eyes focused on me, he's checking for if I was lying. On impulse I said,

"Forty-Five."

He smirked, "Good."

A/N: I'm sorry it's better than normal text. I can easily make a better banner for this but I'm having too much fun.

Micah and I just laid in our cots, staring at the ceiling. I tried to avoid Bluebonnet's glare and I tried to prepare myself for the guilt later. If he had kept his mouth shut we'd both be riding the Van Der Linde train outta here, but he didn't. I tried to shut my feelings away from him, the thoughts of his brother in camp, but curses, he was three feet away from me and locked in a nine-by-nine cell with me and a whack.

It was raining outside and the wooden building atop this jail cellar always creaked in this weather. I heard a voice asking,

"Hey, uh, Sheriff? I heard you got Micah Bell in custody? I'm here from the post, his family was wanting to know his will and testimony. I was wondering if I could have a word, so he can, you know, set his house in order before he swings?"

"No ones seeing him until he swings. Now if his wife comes with a marriage license I might relent, have a good day."

"You telling me that if his marriage is a common-law marriage he's going to swing without getting a Will of some sort?"

"I said: have. A. Good. Day."

Micah sat up, went to the window and glanced at me with a mischievous smile. "It's time!" He hissed.

He put his arm out and waved. "Arthur! Arthur!"

"Well, well, well," a rough voice said accompanied by muddy boots standing in front of the window, "look at the clown in the sewer. Gonna offer me a balloon? Eat me?"

"Ha-ha, who's the clown cracking jokes? You got any dynamite? Get me outta here!"

"Hmm," the man said teasingly, "I don't know, I might watch you swing. God knows you need it."

"Quit clownin' around Arthur. There's a steam horse right there! Just hook up the winch and we can shoot up the town!"

He went and got the winch but said, "I don't know if I'm to eager for that part of the job."

I'm not exactly eager either.

"Whatever Arthur hurry up!"

He hooked it up and then the adrenaline started to pound in my head. This is going to be insane. A lever pulled and there was the hiss of steam, the groaning of the iron bars and then the boom of the wall giving way. I stepped out with Micah and spied a boy who dropped his basket lunch screaming,

"Prison break! Prison break!"

Arthur gave Micah a gun and then saw me.

"Who the hell is this?!"

"Oh, I almost forgot." Micah leaned over and shot my partner dead. The gravity of it all hitting me. I'm really doing this.

I looked back at Bluebonnet.

I'm sorry.

A/N: Catch the reference? Did you? Did you catch IT?

In a few days I'll take down the spoof banners & put these in their place.