#PTG33 Chapter 33

Fifteen days.

That's all we got before the pre-trial period began. Ang bilis ng takbo ng panahon. Ni hindi ko akalain na magiging sobrang bilis... Tama nga si Cha. Minamadali nilang lahat. Halos walang oras para maka-gawa ng maayos na depensa para sa akin. Para kaming iniipit... hanggang sa halos maramdaman na namin ang pader sa likuran. Hanggang wala ng maatrasan...

I could still remember how that ended badly. Jax presented a lot of evidence... but Iñigo seemed too determined to crucify me.

Sa bawat paglipas ng segundo, para bang palala lang nang palala ang kaba sa dibdib ko. Alam ko na gagawin ni Jax at Cha ang lahat ng makakaya nila para makalaya ako... pero kahit na ano ang gawin ko, hindi ko maialis sa isip ko iyong sinabi sa akin ng nanay ni Kier nung huli kaming magkita.

And at that moment, I knew that the possibility of me losing this case just got a lot stronger.

She was a mother who lost her son. I knew the feeling. I knew the anger. I knew the pain. And I knew that she meant to fulfill every bit of that promise.

"Ano'ng kaso mo?" tanong sa akin ng katabi ko. I tried my best not to talk with anyone. I... was scared. I knew that I had no right to judge them because we're all in the same situation. Pero kahit na ganoon, hindi ko mapigilan ang takot sa sarili ko.

"Parricide."

"Ano 'yun?"

"I'm—"

"Pwede bang Tagalog? Medyo mahina ako sa English," sabi niya habang naka-ngiti. I began to feel at ease. She looked nice... nicer than the other women in the cell with me.

Maybe I could be friends with her. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan pa ako dito.

"Ah... pinagbibintangan akong pinatay ko 'yung asawa ko," tahimik na sagot ko.

"Asus! Iyon lang pala! Akala ko kung ano!" sabi niya. She looked too enthusiastic for someone in jail. I could never feel like her. Ever since Kier began to hurt me, everyday felt like hell. I couldn't even remember the last time that I felt genuinely happy. Everyday felt like just me trying to get to its end.

"Kaso ko naman e violation daw nung RA 91—ay 'di ko maalala iyong numero. Basta iyong tungkol sa drugs," she said.

"RA 9165," I replied.

She smiled. "Ayun! Tsk. Lagi kong naririnig 'dun sa abogado na binigay ng korte. Pero labo. Mukhang wala ng laban. 'Di rin naman inaayos nung abogado ko."

Then, she started to tell me the tale of how she was wrongly accused of dealing drugs. She said that she was just resting at home when the police barged in their home. They took her husband. Tapos nilagyan siya ng pakete ng shabu sa kamay niya. Hindi ko alam kung paano niya nagagawang ngumiti sa kabila ng kwento niya.

"Ayun... Sorry, ha? Gusto ko lang ng makakausap. Mababaliw na ako kakaisip dito."

My lips were parted. I couldn't believe that this was really happening. Paanong iyong mga tao na dapat ay poprotekta pa sa atin ang unang gumagawa ng masama? It's when things like this happen that we must stand together.

"Ikaw, kwento ka naman? Mukhang makaka-labas ka agad. Mukhang matatalino 'yung mga abogado mo."

I still didn't know how to react. "Paano ka?"

She shrugged. "Ewan. Baka sa kulungan na lang din. Ewan, baka mas maayos na rin 'yun kasi... 'di rin ako sanay na wala 'yung asawa ko. Hirap magsimula mula sa wala."

Ilang araw akong hindi pinatulog ng naging pag-uusap namin. I wanted to ask her about her case, but I didn't want to give her false hopes. Hindi ko pa alam kung makaka-labas ako rito... but if I ever get out of this, I wanted to practice law. Hindi ako pinayagan ni Kier dati... pero wala na siya. Pwede na akong magkaroon ng sariling buhay. Pwede ko ng gamitin lahat ng pinag-aralan ko.

This gave me hope, something to look forward to.

* * *

The days rolled in quickly... Hindi gaanong naka-bisita si Jax sa akin dahil alam ko na marami siyang inaayos para sa kaso. But my friends always tried their best to see me... And I appreciated that. I appreciated that they're here... That despite everything, they never once wavered.

A day before the hearing, Cha visited me.

"Si Jax?" tanong ko.

Cha drew a deep breath. That alone was enough to make my heart drum inside my chest. I knew... I knew that whatever it was she was about to say, it would scare me.

"Look, I'll be very honest since you're a strong woman and I know you can handle this," sinimulan niya. Agad kong naramdaman ang panlalamig ng buong katawan ko. "Since you couldn't remember that night, the prosecution built a very believable scenario of what could've happened."

Tikom ang bibig ko.

Walang tunog na lumabas sa bibig ko. Rinig na rinig ko ang tibok ng puso ko.

"For some fucked up reasons, walang CCTV sa area kung nasaan iyong bahay. Wala ring kapitbahay. No one can testify that someone else sneaked in. By the looks of it, kayong dalawa lang ni Kier ang nasa bahay ng gabing iyon... And unless Kier willingly stabbed himself, you're the other credible suspect."

Pasikip nang pasikip ang dibdib ko.

Tila ba may naka-bara sa lalamunan ko.

"Look, I'm not telling you this to scare you, okay? We're still working. Trust me, Jax is working so hard kahit na—" sabi niya, ngunit agad siyang natigilan.

"Kahit na?" tanong ko. I started to worry even more. What was happening? Bakit hindi nakaka-punta si Jax dito? "Kahit na ano, Cha? Please answer me," matigas kong sabi.

Pumayag ako na wala silang sinasabi. I contented myself with the little information that they were allowing me to know... but if it was about Jax, I wanted to know. I demand to know.

Cha pursed her lips. "Jax... Jax received a couple of death threats."

Parang huminto ang mundo ko.

Mabilis na sumikip ang dibdib ko.

"It... It didn't look serious, but as a precaution, Jax moved back into their house."

Agad akong napa-hawak sa dibdib ko. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin. It was once thing that I was in danger, it was another to have someone else put their life on the line for me.

"Hey, it's okay," Cha said, but her words were meaningless. Patuloy na naririnig ko sa akin isip kung paano nasa panganib ang buhay ni Jax. "Your friend, Psalm, he helped Jax get some PSG while the threats are still being assessed."

I knew that it was from the Ramirez. Death threats? It sounded like them. Nang buhay pa si Kier, hindi matatapos ang isang araw na hindi ako nakaka-rinig na may banta sa buhay namin. Ito ang dahilan kaya ayokong maging abogado si Jax. Dahil alam ko na dito kami babagsak.

"Katherine—"

"How about you? May mga natatanggap ka rin ba?"

Agad na nag-iwas siya ng tingin. Parang mas piniga ang puso ko.

"It's fine... It's part of the job."

Agad akong umiling. "No, it's not fine. You said it to me yourself, delikado silang kalaban. I know that their enemies have been mysteriously disappearing. Kung paanong nagawa nilang maka-labas si Nathan kahit na malakas ang ebidensya." Mabilis na nanlabo ang mga mata ko. Hindi ako maka-hinga. "Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko kung may mangyari sa inyong dalawa."

Matapang niya akong tinignan.

"If... If we die, then at least don't let our deaths be in vain, Katherine. For once, stop trying to throw yourself a fucking pity party. The fight hasn't even begun yet. Lumaban ka naman. Kahit hindi para sa sarili mo. Kahit para kay Jax na hanggang ngayon, pinaglalaban ka pa rin," sabi niya bago ako iniwanan.

* * *

The day of the trial. Nanlalamig ang buong pagkatao ko. Halos hindi ako makapagsalita hanggang sa maka-rating kami sa korte. Hindi ko maialis sa isipan ko iyong mga banta sa buhay nila... Patay na si Kier, pero hanggang sa kamatayan, nagagawa niya akong takutin. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan ko kakayanin lahat ng nangyayari.

Jax was already there when I arrived. Kieran's family was there, too, but instead of fear, I felt rage for them. I would let them hurt me for what they think I did with their son, but the moment they messed with the people around me, I would sit and let them have their way.

I could see how Jax's jaw clenched when he saw me in cuffs. Parang hindi na siya nasanay. Sa bawat pagkakataon na nakikita niya ako, palagi akong may suot nito.

"You need to be calm," Jax said.

"You didn't tell me you're getting death threats."

Agad na napa-tingin si Jax kay Cha. Cha rolled her eyes.

"I need you to focus—"

"And I need you to remember that there's no point in me getting out if I'll just have you killed."

His jaw was clenching dangerously. I could see him controlling his breath. I knew that the past few weeks have been hard on him, but I needed to remind him that his life mattered more than this fucking trial. I didn't want him sacrificing his life. I didn't need anyone sacrificing their lives for me. Sa tingin ba nila matatahimik ako kung maka-labas man ako? Kung alam ko na may mga buhay na nawala dahil sa akin?

"Can we talk about this later?" he pleaded.

I pursed my lips, and looked at him seriously. "I'll talk to Psalm. I'll get you and Cha extra security. Don't fight me on this, Juan Alexandro, or I promise you you'll see me plead guilty."

His eyes were challenging me, but we both backed down when we heard the arrival of the judge. We all rose as respect. Malalim ang bawat paghinga ko habang binabasa ang mga mangyayari ngayong araw.

"We request the first witness on the stand," Iñigo said.

Nanginginig ang tuhod ko habang pinapanood ang naglalakad papunta doon.

How—

"Calm down," Jax whispered in my ears as I saw my doctor making her way to the stand.

Agad na ipinatong niya ang kamay niya sa taas ng bibliya. "Do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I do," Dr. Castro said.

I begged myself to pull through as I continued to watch him make his way to the stand. I could feel people's eyes on me... I could feel their whispers... Everyone was looking... Watching my every movement as if I was some piece of entertainment.

Everyone was waiting for me as I divulged the darkest moments of my life. Kailangan kong maging matatag. Jax didn't come this far for nothing. I didn't come this far for nothing.

"State your name," Iñigo began.

"Milicent Castro," Dr. Castro replied.

"Am I correct to say that you are Mrs. Ramirez's doctor?"

"Yes."

Agad na lumakad si Iñigo mula sa lamesa, at may kinuha doon. Iniabot niya iyon kay Dr. Castro. "Kindly read what's on the paper, Dr. Castro."

Pakiramdam ko ay nanlalamig ang bawat himaymay ng pagkatao ko habang hinihintay ko ang susunod na mangyayari. Jax was wrong... He was wrong in keeping me in the dark. I didn't know what was happening. Pakiramdam ko ay ikamamatay ko ang kaba.

"It states the... It states the result Mrs. Ramirez's check-up."

Agad ko ipinikit ang mga mata ko.

"And what was the check-up for?"

"The miscarriage."

Naramdaman kong hinawakan ni Jax ang kamay ko sa ilalim ng lamesa. But it wasn't enough. I felt like my heart was being torn from my chest. How... how could he? How could he use my baby against me? Hindi ko matanggap na kayang gawin sa akin ni Iñigo lahat ng 'to. Para niya akong paulit-ulit na sinasaksak sa dibdib.

"And what was the reason for the miscarriage, Dr. Castro?"

"Fatal trauma."

Iñigo began to face the audience as Dr. Castro replied. He looked me in the eye... like he was unapologetic. I couldn't see the friend that I used to have. I would never forget what he did. I would forever remember how he used my own child against me.

I could forgive him for anything, but not this. Never this.

"Could it be that since Mrs. Ramirez suffers from the miscarriage, she blamed it on her husband? Probably, prompting for her to plan on killing him—"

"Objection, Your Honor," agad na sabi ni Jax habang naka-tayo.

"On what grounds?"

"Creation of a material fact, Your Honor."

"Over-ruled. Continue," Judge Marquez replied. "Continue."

Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko.

"It was stated on the conference how they went to Batangas without any bodyguards... Very unusual for any member of the Ramirez family to go anywhere without security tailing them..." he said, looking me straight into the eyes. "I believe that Mrs. Ramirez, grief-stricken, planned the death of her husband. Mercilessly stabbing him with a knife... and then when she was sure that he was dead, called the police and pretended not to remember anything. But you're not innocent, are you, Mrs. Ramirez?" he asked, standing right in front of me, as if telling me that he'd stop at nothing to fulfill the promise of the Ramirez.